


Overturn

by serendipitousDescent



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto) Feels, Everybody Died, M/M, Naruto tries to fix things, Not Carbon Copies, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Time Travel, it doesn't work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2018-03-16 17:23:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 140,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3496595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serendipitousDescent/pseuds/serendipitousDescent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wind moves through his dirt-streaked hair as he looks out on a broken village. His life must be quickly coming to a close now, each second bringing him closer and closer to the end he's desired for years. Giving up isn't so difficult when there's nothing left to fight for. </p><p>Then Obito tells him he's only one suitable for the job. </p><p>And fighting isn't so much a choice as it is something he's flung into head-first, his last decision ripped away from him in its entirety. But if he doesn't have a choice, he might as well try his best now that he's here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. silence can be kind

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning, there is some mention of death/wanting to die in this chapter here. Mostly because this is a pile of angst and I'm seemingly incapable of writing anything that isn't at least a bit angsty.
> 
> On another note, the chapters for this probably won't come out too fast because I'm working on a couple of other projects at the same time as this. (Mostly because I've found that if I only focus on one thing then I last a few chapters and then I die out. Which is not what I want to do.) In case of curiosity, these projects are Tear Us Apart and a fantasy/adventure m/m original fic. But I do have a fair bit planned and I'm excited and I hope you enjoy! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"And silence, like darkness, can be kind; it, too, is a language."_ -Hanif Kureishi

A broken mirror hangs on the wall across from him, reflecting his image back at him as something scattered and disjointed. He has done his best to ignore it, just like he ignores the ragged edges of the blanket and the branches weaving through the hole in the living room wall, slowly making it larger. But something about it has him dragging his gaze back to it every now and then, despite the uncomfortable churn of his stomach. 

Perhaps it’s the spotty patches of hair growing along his jaw. He rubs at it, the bristly hairs rough against the palm of his hand, and squints at himself. Letting his facial hair grow had never been a good idea in the first place, but the effort of cutting it now is too much to deal with. 

His hand drops and he picks himself up off the floor. 

If he lets himself look at this ragged place in the daylight long enough, he’ll start to see bits and pieces of Sakura lying around. Not paying much attention had been simple when the sun was hidden over the horizon, but now the first rays of sunlight are starting to shine through the dirt on the windows. Shadows and his imagination are far more limited than the reality right in front of him. Picture frames lay on the floor, pink hair and green eyes smiling up at him through broken glass, alongside two older figures, all of them long since dead. 

A simple sentence leaves his lips, releasing the seal sloppily scrawled across the living room walls, and the last piece of evidence that he fought back is gone. He closes his eyes, too tired to grimace, and slowly forces himself to leave. 

This house was meant to be his goodbye. The only place more suited to goodbyes would be the Uchiha compound along the edge of the village, but nobody bothered rebuilding it after Pein’s attack. Now, he lingers in the street with his hand on the Haruno household’s battered doorknob and waits for something, anything to happen. 

Nothing does. 

No one walks through the streets. There is no lingering scent from any number of food vendors that once filled the streets, attempting to lure him inside. No figures move just out of sight or on rooftops, shouting and silent alike. No crows caw as they wait for someone to abandon their food, and no breeze ruffles his hair like an old friend. All that’s left now is his memories of what this place once was and the worn wreckage that was left behind sometime over the years. 

“I hope you don’t mind that I’m leaving so quickly, Sakura-chan,” he says to the closed door, his voice rough with disuse. “You’ll see me soon anyways.”

He can’t help but linger, not just at Sakura’s door, but in the village as a whole. 

The tree he used to sit at in front of the Academy is wrangled and overgrown, smelling strongly of ash and dust. It feels incomplete with half the building that made up most of his childhood in pieces, rotting desks visible through broken walls. Nothing is left of the attached Hokage’s office at all, just long-gone shards of wood and glass, and a crater in the ground, not unlike the five gaping holes in the Hokage Monument. 

By some misguided miracle, Ichiraku’s is still intact. He runs his fingers along the counter, thick dust wiping away. There is no smell of freshly cooked ramen here, no heat radiating from the behind the counter, but he still can imagine all of that. If he just closes his eyes, he can be sixteen all over again. Sixteen or twelve or four as he shares a grin with Teuchi and Ayame. A craving for ramen creeps up on him, as it does from time to time, making him move on from this hollow shell of a building. There isn’t the time or the means to make himself food. 

The rest of the village is much the same. 

He doesn’t so much as try the stairs in his old apartment building in fear they’ll break under his weight.

The Hyūga compound is torn apart, not by any fighting force, but by nature itself. Vines and branches creep between its planks and boards, reclaiming what was once its own in a fate more fitting than most of the village. 

Not even the walls have stopped the Forest of Death from expanding and so he walks around its edges before going to sit in front of the Memorial Stone. Moss grows along its edges, the carvings dull from neglect. He can’t make out any of the names written on it, even though he tries. When he leaves, two Konoha hitai-ate sit in front of it, one with a deep groove right through it and the other worn around the edges. 

That is the last place he plans on visiting.

His steps feel heavy as he makes his way towards his final destination, the point of this all. The path up the cliffside is nearly unnavigable between the parts that have given away and the loose rock beneath his feet, but he doesn’t stray from his path. Chakra steadies him but before long, he gives up on the path entirely, walking up the cliffside until he gets to the top. 

The expanse of blue sky is nearly as breathtaking as the village once was. He sits on the edge of the Monument and takes both in. From this height, the full extent of the destruction is impossible to see, the details fading away into a village overtaken by nature. There aren’t too many more trees than there used to be, but the buildings are no longer as distinct between them as they once were. All he can really see is bright and expansive and alive. 

He carefully unwraps the clothes binding his wrists, releasing seal after seal. With each of the five gone, he can breathe a little bit deeper and the fresh, earthy air of his home fills his lungs. The Will of Fire may be burnt out, but this is still Konohagakure. 

With this, there will be peace, however artificial. 

With this, his home will be reclaimed by nature in its entirety. 

All he has to do now is wait for Madara to notice his chakra, as much of beacon in this empty world as anything else can be. Then he clears his mind of everything, a feat nearly impossible by the standards of his teenaged self, and watches the white, fluffy clouds. 

Before long, someone’s chakra becomes apparent, bee-lining towards him. It is part heavy and rageful, and part not quite alive, and it makes him take notice for the first time in too long. The amount of dissonance in that chakra is too much to be anyone other than Obito, nevermind that he thought Obito died nearly a year ago. 

If anyone were to survive, it would be him. 

The afternoon disappears before his eyes as he tracks the chakra through the forest and then the village, steadily getting closer. His eyes are closed when Obito makes it up the broken path, not even the sound of a single footstep to mark his arrival. 

“You’re disgusting.” 

“And you’re dead. Doesn’t make a difference now, does it?” he asks. 

Obito doesn’t react, his tone devoid of all emotion. “Dead men can’t do anything. You’re disgusting because you gave up so quickly.” 

Some dark thing burns in his chest and he reaches for support past his own abilities, half-expecting his anger to be pushed towards rage. 

It isn’t. 

It isn’t and his attempts to reach for Kurama’s chakra leaves him flailing. That’s what truly makes him angry, his hands clenching in his lap. 

The words echo through his head over and over again, as if he hasn’t told him himself the exact same thing since Konoha was attacked. All Obito’s words change is that someone else is finally telling him the truth. More people than he can count are dead, not even a grave to mark their passing, and he’s the one who didn’t quite try hard enough. 

When he opens his eyes, the sky is just as clear as it was before. Konoha still stands below him, withered and broken. The only difference is that Obito stands behind him with gaunt cheeks and greasy hair that immediately reminds him of broken mirror in Sakura’s apartment. For the briefest moment, he cares about how ragged he looks, before it’s drowned out by the swimming feeling in his chest. 

“Yeah, I gave up,” he says, spitting out the words. “There’s nothing I can do about that now. Everyone’s still dead. Kakashi-sensei, Sakura and Sasuke, your precious Rin - they’re all dead and they’re not coming back, because this isn’t some dream.” 

“You’re not wrong, Uzumaki,” comes the simple reply. 

He pushes himself up at last, his face twisted into a scowl. The only thing stopping him from attacking Obito here and now is the chakra on the horizon, getting closer by the second. Today will be the end of things, but it won’t be with Obito, and it won’t be before he’s gotten one last shot at Madara. 

All Obito does is stare back at him. There is no flinch or kunai resting in his hand, no reaching towards the kunai pouch on his thigh. His skin sags around the scars entrenched in the right half of his face, never less shocking than the first time the mask was pulled away. A dead body might actually be more responsive to his anger, but the affirmation still hangs between them in a voice just as thick from disuse as his own. 

“Right now, all you can do is throw yourself into some senseless, stupid death.” Obito raises a hand to the scarred half of his face as he activates his Sharingan. “But who else won’t screw things up beyond repair.” 

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?” he asks, on the edge of panic. 

“It’s not a compliment. My options are myself, you, and the psychopath who screwed everything up to begin with.”

“I don’t understand.” 

“I can move things between dimensions. Time is dimension.” 

That explains nothing and everything. 

Nothing in that he still doesn’t understand where Obito is going with this. Everything in that it means there’s some plan, and he’s learned not to trust an Uchiha with a plan. 

Understanding what’s going on has never stopped him from charging into a fight before. He shoots forward, chakra gathering in his hand rather than a kunai. Obito doesn’t dodge, doesn’t activate his ability to jump into another dimension, just lets out a stuttering breath as a fist plunges into his shoulder. 

The world narrows down to that one fist. He watches the blood gather around his wrist with wide eyes, leaving himself open to an attack without care or notice. 

“Well,” Obito starts, a hazy film coming over his eyes, “I wasn’t going to survive this anyways.” 

“I-” Obito grabs his arm, holding it in place, and that is almost enough to force him back to reality. Almost, but not quite. “Use someone else as your guinea pig.” 

“Can’t.” 

There is no opportunity to pull away before the edges of his perception twist. 

First comes the nausea, the upturn of his stomach that he’s experienced more than enough from fighting alongside Kakashi-sensei and against Obito. Then the ground beneath his feet disappears and he expects that to be the end. 

Then his very existence starts to churn. 

Every molecule of his body screams out in pain, arranging and rearranging themselves. There is pain, and it consumes him. 

There is no relief, no beginning or end. 

There is no way to open his eyes, to smell, to scream himself bloody. 

Coming back to reality is jarring, the ground too solid underneath his back. His eyes are squeezed shut when he feels the soft breeze, then he lets out a quiet, ragged breath as he realizes he no longer has the energy to scream. Then the wind on his cheeks registers, a stark contrast to how still the world has been since Madara destroyed everything he held dear. 

Feeling the wind through his hair is third on his list of things he’s missed about the world before Madara, right after everyone he cares about and readily-available ramen. 

This must be the afterlife. 

His eyes slowly open to overcast skies and they take a long moment to adjust to the darkness. Every inch of his body aches but it’s simple to forget about that when a raindrop lands on his cheek and then another and another until it’s steadily raining. 

It washes him of the remnants of Obito’s blood on his hand, just as it soaks the ground beneath him. Only a good scrub will truly remove the dirt hidden in the crevices of his body, but already he feels cleaner as he lays there, lightly laughing to himself. This is already so much better than everything he imagined about the afterlife. 

Then he rolls over onto his side. His laughter stops abruptly, because all he can get himself to do is look over the edge of the Hokage Monument.

Faint light radiates up from Konoha. It is too dark to make out any details, even as countless windows are lit from inside in the way only a village full of people could manage. Pain forgotten, he pushes himself up and looks out at a thriving village. There’s the outline of the Academy close-by, the windows of the Hokage’s Office bright without even curtains to block people from looking inside. 

He lurches forward as a sob takes him by surprise, tears hidden by the rain. The light is only just necessary to notice the tens of thousands of people gathered so close and he doesn’t know how he missed the buzz of activity. Their chakra shines even brighter than he thought possible, drowning him in his awareness of their presence. 

This is far more his home than the husk of a village he left behind. 

This is what he fought all these years for. 

What he gave up on.

Whatever Obito had planned, it had failed.

* * *

Obito drops to his knees and clutches at his shoulder. Already, he can feel himself start to shake, his vision blurring now that he has nothing to focus his strength on. 

It will only be a matter of time before Madara arrives. There is no way he could have missed the burst of chakra from him and then Uzumaki when the jutsu found Obito lacking. Madara must be furious about being kept from his goal after so long being impossibly close to it. Obito can’t find it within himself to care. 

He’ll be dead by the time Madara gets here. 

The last of his strength gives out on him and he falls to the side, numb to his elbow digging into the ground. Everything is so cold. Cold and dark, just like being trapped in that rockslide all those years ago, but Obito can’t bring himself to regret this decision. 

Maybe he will meet Rin and Kakashi on the other side. Already, he can picture Rin’s face just beyond his reach. She will scowl at him when he sees her, almost certainly punch him before she pretends to ignore him for who knows how long. Obito has never screwed up quite this badly before. He hopes that she will smile at him eventually, even if forgiveness is beyond his reach. 

Kakashi is the one who will forgive him immediately, no matter how stupid that decision will be. No, Bakashi forgave him all those years ago, kunai lodged into his heart. 

But that will never happen now. 

Obito manages a sliver of a smile as his eyes drag closed, the expansive blue sky and his ruined home forever the last thing he sees. Not that it matters much when he sent Uzumaki Naruto back in time.


	2. a sign of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Crying does not indicate that you are weak. Since birth, it has always been a sign that you are alive,”_ -Charlotte Bronte, _Jane Eyre_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thank you guys so much for the response!

There are so many people.

His skin buzzes from all the chakra, far too much of it for him to be able to tell the difference between one chakra signature and another. It presses in around him, thick and suffocating. He quickly turns down the closest alleyway, the third one this morning, and forces himself to breathe. 

In and out, and in and out, and in and out until it’s slow and steady, and he’s aware of his shaking hands once more. He sits there for a few moments longer, leaning against the side of the building. This isn’t supposed to be so difficult. Dying shouldn’t make him feel like this. Someone walks by, their bright laughter briefly distracting him from his own feelings. Sitting here won’t bring him any closer to finding Sakura and Sasuke, and he needs to apologize for making them wait so long. 

The Haruno household can’t be more than a five minute walk away, just down this street and then to the right. He pauses before leaving the alleyway and turns in the opposite direction, knowing it will lead him to the Uchiha compound. 

Walking through the streets isn’t easy with the low ache of hunger in his stomach and Sakura’s house is right across the street from a restaurant. He really got the short end of the stick here. Being hungry and without money in the afterlife seems a bit cruel, but there isn’t much he can do about it now. Sakura and Sasuke need to come before food though, and it isn’t like he can die a second time. 

A group of young women pass by as they walk towards Sakura’s house. The one on the end watches him with cold eyes before she turns to whisper something to her friends. He swallows and stares ahead. She looks a bit like Ino, her blonde hair flowing over her shoulders. 

His fingers clench, nails digging into the palm of his hand, and he looks away. 

He looks away and stops. 

Blood is soaked into the banners separating the food stall from the rest of the street. It slowly drips to the ground and he follows the red as it spreads out into the street. Everyone is gone, not dead or injured but missing entirely. Gone except for Ino standing at the end of the street, holding herself up on a shop’s display. Her free hand grips at what’s left of her leg, fingers dyed red with blood that spills and spills and spills onto the dark fabric of her jounin uniform. 

She watches him, silent. 

She doesn’t move either. 

All she does is stand there, her mouth flattened into a straight line until he blinks and she’s gone again. Gone and replaced by the gentle hum of the village as he stands in the middle of the street, reaching out for someone who isn’t there. 

He can’t stay here. 

There are too many people and things, and the noise abruptly makes him want to empty his stomach of the precious little it has left in it. Pain blossoms along the back of his head and he turns down the closest street, letting his feet carry him wherever they please. 

Ino stays with him, hovering just behind his eyelids and reminding him that she’s dead. 

That everyone is dead. 

The realization echoes through his head until he stops and slowly sits down, barely registering the small stream in front of him. The pain doesn’t go away, regardless of how hard he holds onto his legs, instead moving down into his chest. Taking on a frontal attack would be better than this. He squeezes his eyes shut in one last, desperate attempt to block out the world.

“You alright?” 

Is he? 

He should be, now that Madara can’t get to him. 

“Hey,” the man tries again, “do you need me to do anything?” 

The question is slow to sink in but when it does, he shakes his head against his knees. 

“Alright, can you do something for me then?” Silence meets the man, and he sighs before moving on. “Just look at me, okay?”

It isn’t anything difficult and he feels his shoulders start to relax as he looks up. The man is crouching down a couple feet away from him but isn’t what catches his interest. There’s a long senbon hanging between his lips, light glinting off of it, and once the man notices him watching it, he grabs it between calloused fingers and slips it into his kunai pouch. 

Not just a shinobi, the man cannot be anything less than a jounin if the easy confidence in which he carries himself is anything to go by. Which means he should know him. 

Once, he could have named every jounin in Konoha with ease. 

Now, that knowledge gnaws at the back of his mind. It makes his jaw clench, even as he finds himself unable to look away from the man’s narrow brown eyes. There were too many people during those last battles to keep track of everyone, even if him and Sakura made a point of trying. 

Then the man tilts his head and the memories come rushing back. One of the proctors at his Chūnin Exam is the most memorable. Tensions had been so high that day, even before Suna’s attack began, but that isn’t where the memories end. 

No, Kakashi knew him as well. And the rest of the pieces fall into place, just hints of a face that was always around the village. As one of the gate guards when he was on his way home from a mission with exhaustion and victory set deep in his bones. At Baa-chan’s inauguration and once during the war, just moments before his clone disappeared into smoke. And then as he stood in the graveyard, surrounded by dozens of people while they watched Asuma’s fresh grave. 

“You’re safe,” the jounin says with a steady voice. “Just follow my voice and we’ll get you through this, alright?” 

He can’t remember a name. 

A shout follows him as he starts running down the street, the words lost to him. Even his own thoughts are lost to him while he runs, feeling every bit a hunted animal in these winding streets. 

It is a good thing that few people are out and about in the middle of the afternoon. He knows that he wouldn’t be able to slow down for them, that he wouldn’t consider moving around them. Already, it’s too much. 

Too much he’s forgotten. 

Too many people. 

Too much chakra. 

Just too much of a world he thought lost to him. 

The street turns into a path and then an open field, and that’s where he stops with only the sound of chirping birds to keep him company. Tall and pristine, the Memorial Stone stands a few feet away. The rest of the Third Training Ground is exactly as it should be, much to his relief, and he walks up to it despite himself. A Memorial Stone in the afterlife doesn’t feel as wrong as it should.

* * *

Sasuke doesn’t quite know how he got here, doesn’t quite remember anything beyond slipping away from the chūnin keeping an eye on him. There can’t be more than another couple weeks before he proves he doesn’t need a babysitter. He’s an Academy student, for all that’s worth. 

The small clearing isn’t as empty as he expected it to be. It’s been empty every afternoon for the past week but now a man is kneeling in front of the Memorial Stone, letting his fingers run over the names. Sasuke scrunches his nose at the man’s unwashed clothes and stringy hair. Kaa-chan would tell him he looks like-

It doesn’t matter what Kaa-chan would say. 

Academy students should be able to ask what dirty old men are doing in the training grounds though, and so Sasuke breathes in deeply and walks up to him. 

“Who are you?” he asks with every inch of courage he can muster. 

The man’s fingers freeze and he turns his head towards Sasuke. The blue of his eyes catch Sasuke off guard, clear and bright enough to contrast with the rest of him. “Sasuke,” he says, hardly more than an exhale. 

“How do you know my name?” 

A laugh answers him, its light-hearted edge insulting. “I can’t tell you.” 

Sasuke narrows his eyes, suspicious. 

“I really can’t tell you, Sasuke. The… the Hokage trusts me to do certain things and that means I can’t say anything without getting into trouble. 

Itachi used to say things like that all the time, and the familiarity of it makes him scowl. He’s about to storm off entirely when he remembers that Shisui also said those things before he died. “Whatever. I just wanted to look at the Stone.” 

“Don’t let me stop you,” the man says, shuffling slightly to the side. 

Sasuke stares at the open space for a long moment before he sits down. The grass is still wet from the rain this morning, but if he can endure sitting next to some stinky old guy, he can handle a bit of wet grass. One day, he’ll have to be strong enough to endure a lot more than wet grass. 

The names on the Memorial Stone haven’t changed at all since yesterday. There’s a bunch he doesn’t recognize but he’s been trying to memorize them anyways. They’re important too, even if he doesn’t know who they are. The ones Sasuke does know are most from Kaa-chan’s bedtime stories, their legacies just as important as the Uchiha name itself. His gaze briefly stops on the one Uchiha he doesn’t know - an Uchiha Obito - before moving on.

None of them are of people he knows personally. Someone at the funeral had said that everyone’s names should be carved into the Memorial Stone, which is why Sasuke first came here. The reason he keeps coming back is that it’s quiet here. Not quiet like the compound, but Sasuke finally can breathe while he reads the names of other people who have died. 

Maybe they have people who keep coming back too. 

“Who are you, anyways?” Sasuke asks after a while, glancing over at the strange man. 

“Uzumaki Naruto.” 

“Uzumaki-” He turns away again and scowls across at the Stone. “If you’re going to use a fake name, then just say it’s confidential.” 

“But that is my name,” the man tells him. 

“Uzumaki Naruto is a kid in my class at the Academy, so you’re going to have to try harder than that. He might be a bit sad like you are-” Honestly, Sasuke hasn’t been paying enough attention to really know much else about Naruto but this guy won’t know that. “-but he’s still a lot younger than you are.” 

Uzumaki stares at him with a lax mouth but Sasuke keeps his eyes glued to the Memorial Stone. Then Uzumaki quickly looks down at the ground, hands clenched on top of his knees. 

If Sasuke’s seeing things right, then those are tears being angrily blinked away, and he knows how that feels better than anyone else he knows. They hurt as they wet the skin underneath the eyes. But they hurt even worse if someone points them out, which is why the chūnin watching over him is stupid if he doesn’t even know that much. 

The best thing to do would be leave. There has to be other places in the village where Sasuke can be alone for a little while without all the questions of how he’s doing or those pitying looks. Uzumaki doesn’t seem to need the company either, for all that he’s some weird adult crying in front of the Memorial Stone. Not to mention that if he spends too much time out and about, his hiding spot will be found out. 

Sasuke stays where he is, tucking his knees into his chest and skimming over the names once more. He can’t say that he knows why. 

Leaving would be a better idea. 

“You should-” Uzumaki cuts himself off, breaking the tentative silence. “You should watch out for that other Uzumaki Naruto.” 

Sasuke frowns, deep lines forming between his eyebrows. “Why? I don’t know anything about him.” 

“Because I think he might surprise you. You said he’s a bit sad, right?” Uzumaki nods at his own question. “You did, but you’re sad too, aren’t you? He can probably understand at least a bit of what you’re feeling.” 

“I’m not sad!” Sasuke replies, his frown morphing into a scowl. 

“You’re not?”

“No, I’m - angry,” he settles on. 

The word doesn’t quite sound right but Sasuke isn’t about to take it back now. Besides, after everything that happened, he should be angry. 

If he’s going to get his revenge on Itachi, then he needs to be angry. He needs to train and fight, and then train and fight some more until he’s just as good as Itachi is. There won’t be a moment to rest once the Hokage lets him live by himself. Not to mention that the others at the Academy will be lightyears behind him before the year is out. 

Uzumaki slowly breathes out. “He might understand that too.” 

“Nobody can understand.” 

“You won’t know that until you try.” 

Sasuke doesn’t say anything to that. 

There are a lot of people in his class at the Academy. Not as many as there were the first couple weeks, but the ones that left mostly came from civilian families and were probably intimidated by the work. Oto-san always said that civilians were weird about things like that, usually while he folded up the morning paper and finished off his coffee. 

The point being that Sasuke doesn’t know much about any of them outside of their names. These last few weeks have gone by in a haze. Going to the Academy and being stuck with that chūnin have only been interspersed by the few hours here and there that he’s managed to sneak away. Maybe this Uzumaki Naruto might be able to understand somehow. Sasuke just doesn’t know if he wants to make the effort to find out. 

He doesn’t know if he has the time to find out. 

“I should go.” Sasuke stands up, still focusing on the Memorial Stone. “Skipping meals is bad for you.”

Uzumaki nods easily. “Alright. Do you want me to walk you home?” 

“No!” 

Soft laughter fills the training grounds at his outburst but when Sasuke meets Uzumaki’s eyes, he doesn’t seem to be mocking him. There’s even a hint of a smile, and Kaa-chan was the one who taught him how to watch out for the way someone’s shoulders drop when they lower their guard.

He stands his ground, even if it would be easier to walk away now. “Will I see you again?” 

A long moment passes before the smiles fades from Uzumaki’s face and he nods. “You will, eventually. There’s a few things I need to do outside of the village though, so I don’t know when I’ll be back.” 

“Whatever.”

* * *

“Forms?” 

He stops awkwardly as the gate guard watches him with blank eyes, mentally scrambling for an answer. “I… didn’t get any when I got here?” 

This will be it.

The guard will find his lack of papers a bit too suspicious and then haul him in front of the Sandaime to be interrogated at length. He doesn’t know if he can handle that. 

When Sasuke didn’t believe that he’s Uzumaki Naruto, he almost started shouting right there in the training grounds. At least that makes sense to him. Sasuke never talked to him at that age, even if sometimes their eyes would catch before they went their separate ways. The Sandaime has known him since he was born. Keeping it together if he wasn’t recognized would almost be worse than anything else that’s happened today. 

The guard groans after a moment. “You really don’t have any papers, do you? I bet it was one of those assholes from the morning shift that forgot. It’s already the third time this week that they’ve pulled this shit.” 

“How do you know I didn’t just sneak inside?” he asks hesitantly. 

“For one, you wouldn’t have asked that,” the guard says with a sigh. “Plus you wouldn’t look so terrified at being called out like this. Only people who just want to get back home look like that. Anyways, the form still needs to be filled out, so I hope you don’t mind answering a couple questions.” 

He tries for a smile. “That’s fine.” 

“What was your reason for coming to Konoha today?” 

“I wanted to - I was paying my respects to someone who died recently.” 

“Personal reasons then. I’m sorry for your loss.” The guard scratches something down on a sheet of paper. “Did you visit anyone while you were here?” 

“No.” 

“Alright, that’s fine. There’s just a couple more questions about yourself now. What’s your name?” 

“Uzumaki-”

He cuts himself off. 

Uzumaki Naruto isn’t a name he can give anymore, Sasuke proved that much. If he can’t be Uzumaki Naruto and if he needs to leave Konoha to prove that this world is real, then he needs to be someone else. 

“Uzumaki?” the guard asks, pen poised over the paper. 

“Uzumaki Rin.”


	3. all over again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It sucks that we miss people like that. You think you’ve accepted that someone is out of your life, that you’ve grieved and it’s over, and then bam. One little thing, and you feel like you’ve lost that person all over again.”_ -Rachel Hawkins, _Demonglass_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just finished finals a week ago, so updates will probably be coming a little bit faster now! Thanks so much for the enthusiastic response, it makes my day whenever I see another kudos or a comment <3

It’s been all of a few weeks, and Kakashi can already tell that Team Seven is doomed to fail. 

Sakura anxiously glances between her two teammates as they wholeheartedly ignore each other. There might as well be an entire continent between Naruto and Sasuke, rather than the length of the bridge for all that they speak to each other. Not a barked remark, not a hushed whisper, nothing outside of what they absolutely must say to one another. 

Talking, Kakashi has discovered lately, is not the same as communicating. Even now, Naruto looks back over his shoulder and slumps forward when he realizes that Sasuke is still looking in the opposite direction. The moment he turns away again, Sasuke sneaks a glance back at Naruto. The exchange will continue until one of them undoubtedly catches the other looking and either starts to grin or scowl. Kakashi hasn’t left them alone for long enough to find out which it will be. 

The jinchūriki, a Uchiha, and a kunoichi with precise chakra control should be nothing less than an explosive match. They should push each other to unknown lengths until other villages can only cry in envy at their strength. One of the best offensive teams this generation has to offer, was what the Hokage told him the other day. 

Sakura takes in a deep breath and walks over to Sasuke. She must say something because Sasuke immediately turns to glare at her, arms firmly crossed in front of him. All it takes is that one look for her to flinch backwards and that catches Naruto’s attention. 

“Hey, teme, just what do you think you’re doing?” Naruto shouts, oblivious to the birds that fly up from the stream at the noise. 

Kakashi really needs to invest in a good pair of earplugs. 

Sasuke’s response is inaudible but Kakashi doesn’t need to hear it to know what’s being said, and so he flips the page of his book. There are approximately fifty pages of Icha Icha Paradise left and he’s determined to finish all of them before rescuing his cute genin team from their torture. 

A brief flicker of chakra announces the arrival of another shinobi, their black uniform and mask marking them as ANBU. “Ibiki needs you down in Interrogation, Kakashi-senpai.” 

Kakashi hums and flips another page. “What for, Tenzō-kun?” 

“You know I can’t answer that.” 

He waits, ignoring the pointed glance towards his book and then over at Team Seven a couple dozen meters away. Tenzō may pretend to be better than most of the others when it comes to gossip, but the truth of the matter is that he is far worse. It is just a matter of getting to the point where Tenzō cracks under the pressure to reveal all of the juicy gossip he’s holding back. 

In the meantime, Kakashi will simply enjoy the pleasure of his book and some company. He’s almost at the part where the main character rescues the heroine from a group of nefarious pirates. It won’t be much of a fight, given the heroine’s own skills, but what they do afterwards is always far more captivating than the rest of the novel anyways. 

It isn’t long before Tenzō sighs. “The Hokage himself requested that you do this.” 

“I’m not surprised,” he says lightly. “You don’t normally run around doing errands for Ibiki-san.” 

“Kakashi-senpai.” 

“The other ANBU would certainly be proud if you managed to get me to show up on time, wouldn’t they? They might even pay for your drinks at the Bent Senbon.” 

“Are you attempting to bribe me, Kakashi-senpai?” 

There is a beat of silence as Kakashi carefully says nothing at all. Naruto quickly starts backing up on the bridge, his hands raised in the face of Sakura’s anger. For a moment, Kakashi almost believes that Sasuke is about to step in before he backs down and lets Sakura shout to her heart’s content. 

“I don’t know for certain,” Tenzō warns, “but someone was brought in from just outside the gate a few hours ago. It likely has something to do with him.” 

Kakashi flips the page, his interest waning again. “Ah, is T&I suddenly incapable of dealing with forgetful merchants?” 

“They wouldn’t bother calling you in if that was the case but apparently the man has more chakra than most jounin do, even though there aren’t any records of him in the shinobi database.” 

“That doesn’t explain why they want me there.” They hold eye contact, neither of them backing down until Tenzō’s shoulders slump. “Ah, Tenzō-kun’s expression must have been terrifying behind that mask of his.” 

Tenzō sighs with all the weariness of an old man. “Some of the others think he might be from the Uzumaki clan. His colouring certainly matches, at least.” 

“And there’s no one else?” Kakashi asks. 

“The old Hokage guard platoon is out of the village, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Leaving most everyone else either dead or lost to the winds, is what goes unsaid and now it’s Kakashi’s turn to sigh. He tucks Icha Icha Paradise back into his kunai pouch. The rest of it will have to wait until later then, no matter how set on finishing it today he’d been. 

Tenzō doesn’t move. “Aren’t you going to tell them that you won’t be able to make it today?”

Kakashi glances back towards the bridge just in time to see Naruto bite back some insult or another. Not that holding back helps, given the way Sasuke turns around again, moments from storming off in a rage. His new, adorable genin team really has a lot more to work on than he had previously guessed. If only locking them in a room together would result in something other than a crater where the building once stood. It would make his job a lot easier, at least. 

“Maybe later.”

* * *

“So… do you know him?” 

Rin stares up at the ceiling and pretends not to notice the medic talking as if he weren’t in the room. The ceiling looks just about the same as every other hospital room ceiling he’s seen in his life though, for all that he’s fairly certain this isn’t the hospital. It doesn’t smell like death and antiseptic.

Not looking over at Kakashi is much more difficult than ignoring the medic is. His heart drums away in his chest, has ever since he first heard the window slide open. Things are moving a bit faster than he thought they would upon his arrival in Konoha. 

At the very least, Rin thought he would have the chance to recover before dealing with anyone other than possibly the Sandaime or Ibiki. His body still aches, more bruise than anything else at this point. Even after a bit of medical attention, he can still feel every step between here and Amegakure as intensely as he could in the moment. If the distance had been any further, he might just have ended up passed out from exhaustion in a hole somewhere. 

Kakashi hums, not moving from his spot against the wall opposite Rin. “His hair is certainly as bright as an Uzumaki’s.” 

“You do know him then,” the medic says, a touch hesitant. 

“Ah, no, I’ve never seen him before in my life.” 

Rin’s resolve not to look fades, the bandage above his eyebrow tugging painfully when he shifts his head. Kakashi stares back at him over the top of Icha Icha Paradise. 

That stare makes him wonder what Kakashi sees when he looks at him. Rin knows better than to expect some sort of recognition, but he also wouldn’t have expected it if Kakashi knew who he was. 

It might be the wound that catch his interest first. Rin is covered in more cuts and bruises than he can count, and maybe Kakashi can see what type of opponent he was up against. Maybe Kakashi sees an Uzumaki with his red hair, thick and messy on the pillow. That or the hints of his tattoo curling around his hip, his shirt abandoned in favour of easily accessible bandages. It could tell Kakashi that he’s a little bit on the reckless side, even for an unaffiliated shinobi. Rin has heard it dozens of times himself. 

None of that can be read from Kakashi’s gaze though, and after a moment, he looks back down at his book and casually flips the page. “I think he might be willing to talk now, medic-san. Do you mind leaving?”

The medic looks purposely between Icha Icha Paradise and Rin before sighing and leaving the room as requested. The door closes heavily and then Rin is alone with Kakashi for the first time in forever. 

Silence grows between them, Kakashi seemingly more focused on his book than anything else in the room. Rin does nothing to stop it. He doesn’t know what he would say, even if he wanted to change that. All of his words have either been used up or are for a dead man. 

This Kakashi is so obviously different from the Kakashi Rin knew during the war. He didn’t see it a few moments ago, too blinded by all of the similarities, but there is a weight on his shoulders that Rin doesn’t quite remember. Even then, there aren’t quite as many lines in the corners of Kakashi’s eyes. It is a different type of exhaustion than the one Rin familiarized himself to, and somehow that makes this all the more difficult. 

“You look like an Uzumaki,” Kakashi starts, “but your eyes are a bit too blue.”

Rin blinks. “My eyes are… too blue?” 

Kakashi hums and turns the page again. “Uzumaki Kushina’s eyes were more purple, from what I can remember. It was an interesting tactic to get inside the village but feel free to remove the henge now.” 

“I’m not using a henge.” 

A long moment passes before Kakashi tucks his book away and pushes his hitai-ate up to reveal the spinning red of the Sharingan. Rin gapes openly at the sight of it and he pulls himself up into a sitting position. His sides twinge with the effort but that’s all too easy to ignore in the face of his confusion. 

“Ah,” Kakashi says awkwardly, “is your hair dyed?” 

Rin shakes his head.

“A genjutsu, perhaps?” 

“I, uh, probably couldn’t maintain that if I tried,” Rin says. 

Kakashi pauses, his head tilting to the side. “Ah, I apologize then. You were never pretending to be an Uzumaki in the first place, were you?” 

“That’s not fair, Kakashi, I am definitely an Uzumaki!” Rin resists the urge to rub the back of his neck, but his lips curve into a pout regardless. “Or at least, partially an Uzumaki. My father was apparently from outside of clan, but that doesn’t stop my name from being Uzumaki Rin.” 

Any hint of emotion slides off of Kakashi’s face in its entirety. 

“Am I… not supposed to know your name?” he asks, feigning obliviousness. 

Kakashi falls for it, hook, line and sinker, as he pulls down his hitai-ate once more and turns back to his book. “I suppose it isn’t unusual for other shinobi to pay attention to the bingo books. Though it does make your motives for coming to Konoha a bit more suspicious.”

It feels like they’re talking about two entirely different subjects. Look underneath the underneath is what Kakashi always used to say to him, but Rin sighs instead, already exhausted. 

Delaying a bit before he came to Konoha probably would have been easier in the long run. Rin doesn’t need to pay attention to the apt interest Kakashi shows in Icha Icha Paradise to know that he just made things far more complicated than they had any right to be. His injuries put him in the position to talk to someone rather quickly, but they hurt. They ache down to his bones and Rin already wants to give up this farce entirely. 

Except that somewhere in the village, a young Uzumaki Naruto is, with any hope, enjoying his life. The weight of avoiding the future Rin came from doesn’t need to ride on those shoulders, not if he can do anything about it. 

“My mother,” he starts, quiet. “She used to tell me that the Uzumaki would always be welcome in Konoha, regardless of how long it’s been since Uzushio fell. And I heard not too long ago that Konoha’s jinchūriki is an Uzumaki.” 

Kakashi’s fingers toy with the edge of a page. “That is a nice sentiment, isn’t it?”

“Huh?” 

“It is a nice sentiment that Konoha will accept anyone into the village just because of their heritage. And,” Kakashi stops and his gaze pierces through Rin without a care, “it is a nice sentiment that you uprooted your entire life for someone who may or may not be related to you.” 

A lie waits on the tip of his tongue. 

A lie that Rin prepared a long time ago, just for this very scenario. Even if it wasn’t a lie, telling Kakashi that he spent most of his life screwing up would only be an excuse. 

His stomach churns uncomfortably, but he can’t quite manage to open his mouth and explain his absence away. At least, not with Kakashi actually standing across from him, rather than being a figment of his imagination. Rin swallows the lie and drops his gaze down to the bed. 

Kakashi’s course doesn’t waver. “Or, perhaps, that you came to Konoha for any of those reasons is a nice sentiment in itself.” 

“I did!” 

The proclamation echoes through the room, its force leaving Rin to take in deep, unsteady breaths. 

“I did,” Rin repeats. “I came to Konoha because I want to make things better. Yeah, I’ve known about Naruto for a while now, but I made a mistake when I-” 

Familiar chakra, tinged with something heavy and powerful, spikes from somewhere on the other side of the village and makes Rin cut his sentence short. Pain spreads through his chest like a butterfly fluttering its wings, and his fingers clench in the blanket bunched across his lap. It fades just as quickly as it appeared, leaving Rin only with a gasping sensation, but by the time he looks up again, Kakashi has already turned his attention back at Icha Icha Paradise. 

“I suppose that’s the way it usually goes,” Kakashi says, oblivious. 

Rin swallows back the lingering pain. “You didn’t…?”

“Sometimes people make mistakes that just can’t be forgiven.” Kakashi turns towards the door, tucking his book back into his kunai pouch. “That is what I’ve been told, at any rate.” 

The door closes behind Kakashi and Rin stares at it blankly, his comprehension of what just happened painfully poor. That chakra should have been obvious to anyone in the immediate vicinity. And yet, Kakashi had just left the room without so much as an acknowledgement that something had happened.

* * *

There is something off about Uzumaki Rin. 

Kakashi can’t quite put his finger on what exactly that something is, but their brief conversation had confirmed that much. He sighs as he closes the door behind him. The most likely scenario is that Rin is just one of the handful of Uzumaki who survived the destruction of Uzushio or a relative thereof. Rin would have already been born when everything happened and there had been too much authenticity to that proclamation for it to be a lie.

Not that he thinks Rin is telling the truth about everything. Not that it matters when Ibiki is sweeping through the hall, trench coat making his silhouette even more imposing than without. The Torture and Interrogation Unit is more than capable of determining whether someone is a threat to the village. 

“What did you learn in there?” Ibiki asks without so much as a hello. 

“I wasn’t aware that I was under you command, Ibiki-san.” Ibiki’s expression doesn’t waver at the drawled comment and Kakashi looks away. “Well, if Uzumaki-san is a spy, than he certainly is a convincing one.”

“You believe he is a Uzumaki then.” 

“Most likely. At the very least, henge, genjutsu and hair dye are out of the picture.”

Ibiki narrows his eyes, his mouth set into a straight line. “I don’t believe that’s up to you to decide, Hatake.”

“Ah, right, of course. No need to worry, I plan on leaving the important deductions up to you. Although, I do find it important to mention that he seems to be hiding something, for all of his seemingly good intentions.” 

“I don’t think I need to point out that most people hide things.” Ibiki sighs though, his gaze finally flickering towards the closed door. “This should make my job a bit easier, at any rate. Thank you for the information, Hatake. I wouldn’t have bothered you with this if I didn’t think it was important to know one way or another.” 

“It was my pleasure.”

Ibiki starts for the door, easily sidestepping Kakashi. 

There is still a group of genin waiting for Kakashi across the village, and he should take this opportunity to end their wait. Or perhaps visit the Memorial Stone for a few brief moments. His feet don’t move, rooted into place. 

“What will happen to him?” 

Ibiki pauses, hand on the doorknob. “That depends, of course.” 

“Humour me,” Kakashi pushes. 

“If he is determined to be a threat to the village, he will be dealt with accordingly. If not, then he will be absorbed into the village like any other citizen, but the Hokage is the only one who can make that call.” 

“Naturally,” Kakashi says lightly, “I should have realized that for myself. Nothing goes to waste here.” 

Ibiki sighs and briefly glances back over his shoulder. “I don’t know what you’re trying to get out of this, but there will be a period of detainment before he would be formally accepted in the village, to ensure that he isn’t attempting to move information out of the village. Now, will you let me get to my job?” 

“Of course, of course.” 

One last suspicious look is cast in his direction before Ibiki enters the room, leaving Kakashi alone in the halls of Torture and Interrogation. If he stays where he is, he’ll likely be able to hear hints of their conversation. The door is just thin enough and staying would satisfy that spark of curiosity about the strange man inside. 

Kakashi turns on his heel and starts back down the hall. There is a genin team waiting for his doting attention, and they won’t believe a story about needing to help out Torture and Interrogation for even a moment.


	4. make room for hello

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Whatever you may be missing right now - a person, a place, a feeling, maybe you are injured and missing running - whatever it is, have peace and take heart - remember that any goodbye makes room for a hello.”_ -Kristin Armstrong

Rin’s fingers drum restlessly against his thigh. His legs itch to get up and start moving around again. He grimaces, head tipping back against the wall. Actually pacing will only make things worse. 

The cell can’t be more than a couple meters in each direction, and the flimsy mat on the floor makes up almost a third of that. Having to turn around after only taking a few steps will just make him want to be, well, anywhere other than here. Even the sliver of sunlight coming through the small window seems to have been designed to make Rin want to leave this place. 

Meditation doesn’t help. Rin always ends up gathering nature chakra when he does it, regardless of whether he means to or not. Then the guards will notice the spike in chakra and think he’s up to something. 

Making seals might help if he still had ink and paper on him, but all of his supplies were gone by the time he woke up in the village proper. Then they searched him again before they shoved him into this cell, just in case. Rin groans and lets his legs stretch out in front of him, fists forming at his side. His ability to make seals never really moved above mediocre anyways. Practise may make perfect, but less so when he doesn’t understand what he’s actually doing. 

And the only productive thing for him to do at this point is impossible from the inside of a cell. Trying to gather intel here will only raise the red flags he’s trying so hard to avoid. 

All that leaves for him to do is pace the length of this stupid cell with its stupid window and hope that he can leave sooner rather than later. Which he’s already done a good dozen times, just in the past hour. The need to move is like an itch underneath the surface of his skin, one that won’t go away, regardless of how much he scratches at it. 

Chakra flares from the other side of Konoha, dark and heavy and familiar, leaving Rin gasping for breath for the third time today. It fades after a moment, though the pain nestled between his lungs doesn’t, even as each flare makes the chakra a bit more bearable. 

There had been a lot more of it yesterday. 

Footsteps echo down the hall, and Rin pulls himself up and fold his legs back in front of him. Time doesn’t have much meaning in small rooms like this, but these footsteps sound different from the ones that walk the length of the hall every fifteen minutes. There aren’t any noises from the other cells either, which means it isn’t time for lunch. That only leaves a visitor or someone being let out, and Rin quickly prepares himself for either option. Being disappointed if it isn’t for him is better than being caught unaware. 

Yesterday, someone else had been let out, but a couple days after Rin was escorted here, Ibiki came for a visit. Not a word had been said when the door opened to Rin in the midst of doing push ups on the floor. They stared at each other for a good, long moment before Ibiki snorted and made a comment about how some things just couldn’t be stomped out of a person, the door slamming behind him. 

Maybe Rin had been a bit naive in thinking that Konoha would accept him, even if he doesn’t mean any harm. This isn’t quite the village he once knew. 

Or perhaps it is and Rin had just been oblivious to everything going on behind the scenes when he was younger. Then again, he doesn’t think he even heard about T&I until after he came back from training with Jiraiya. 

The footsteps stop in front of his door, and Rin watches it carefully, half-expecting them to move on. Instead, the door opens without fanfare, and his stomach turns at the sight of the familiar face. 

“You’re Uzumaki Rin, I take it?” Sarutobi Hiruzen asks. 

Rin nods as he fights to keep the corners of his mouth from pulling into a grin. “That’s right, Hokage-sama. Should I be honoured that you know who I am?” 

“Perhaps you shouldn’t go quite that far, Uzumaki-san. There’s almost nothing that occurs within my village that I don’t know about,” the Sandaime replies. His face is schooled into indifference, but Rin easily picks up the thread of amusement in his voice, enough that he does smile now. “Even if I hadn’t been immediately informed of your arrival, the rumours would have been simple to pick up on.” 

“There’s rumours about me? What have they been saying? Just for curiosity’s sake, of course, because they obviously mention how awesome I am,” Rin preens. 

Indifference fades as the corners of the Hokage’s eyes wrinkle with his smile, warm and friendly. “Konoha’s shinobi most certainly have unparalleled imaginations.”

Rin’s grin grows, his head tipping back to look up at the small window in the wall. Whatever people are coming up with out there can’t possibly compare to the truth, not that anyone would believe him if he tried to say something. 

But, as he looks back at the Hokage, it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want to try saying something, even as the friendly grandfather figure fades back into the leader of the village. The Hokage lifts a hand to stroke his goatee, contemplative. It almost makes Rin laugh before he remembers where he is, but even then he can’t quite manage to stop himself from smiling. Too much time has passed since the last time he was in Konoha for this to feel like anything other than a dream. 

“I have to admit,” the Hokage starts, “most people are not quite so pleased to be stuck in this cell as you are.” 

“Well, I made it this far, didn’t I? That means I have to be doing something right,” Rin says with a brief shrug. 

“Perhaps.” 

“Or,” Rin readjusts his legs, so he’s sitting just a bit taller, “I don’t want to rush things. I’ve spent a lot of time on my own, so it’s not like I don’t understand the need to be cautious. Liking it is something else entirely.” 

The Hokage’s composure falters, just barely, but it makes the urge to fidget slam back into Rin. For all that he’s a twenty-five years old with more life experience than even most shinobi get, the Sandaime is still the closest thing he’s ever had to a father figure. 

Not thinking about that sunny afternoon when the Hokage sacrificed himself for the good of the village is difficult enough. Seeing that moment of sympathy just makes it all the worse. It makes him want to stand up and pull the Sandaime into a hug. A promise to himself not to let things get that bad will have to do, but that doesn’t stop Rin from biting at the inside of his cheek to force himself to stay where he is. 

“What are your intentions here?” the Hokage asks after a moment, when it becomes clear that Rin isn’t going to elaborate. 

Rin tries for a smile and feels it fall flat. “Don’t you know all that from Ibiki already?” 

“Please humour a man in his old age.” 

“Alright, alright. I came here because I want to-” change things, fix them, make them better than that place he left behind, “build a home for myself, I guess. It probably won’t come together perfectly to begin with, but I figure if I can at least start talking to Naruto, then it might happen eventually.” Rin swallows back the rest of his words and finds a sudden interest in his own lap. 

“Very well.” The Hokage pauses, seemingly aware of the way Rin’s heart is beating loudly against his chest. “Now, I would like to know the rest of the reason why you came here. From the beginning, please.” 

“I-” 

The words dry up in Rin’s throat. 

Not that it matters much because he can feel the Hokage’s gaze on him, even as he refuses to look up. All it would take is a glance and he will end up spilling the entire story, Rin can already feel it welling up inside of him as if the explanation has just been waiting for this very moment. 

His hands clench in his lap before Rin finally looks up, immediately caught by the Hokage’s gaze. “I was born in Konoha.”

“That isn’t what you told Ibiki,” the Hokage points out simply. 

He should have known better than to try lying to the head of T&I, is what passes between them unsaid. 

“I know,” Rin says. “But I didn’t tell him the rest of it either. Like how I was born here twelve years ago, on October 10th.” 

Rin can see the wheels starting to move in the Hokage’s mind, can pick out the moment where he rules out the other possibilities because his face goes slack. Almost as quickly as when Rin used to use his Sexy no Jutsu but without any of the humour that went along with that. 

“I-” 

“I know it sounds impossible but it’s the truth!” Rin snaps.

The Hokage sighs. “I’m not doubting you. If someone were to claim a connection to the Uzumaki to get into Konoha, it would certainly not be that one. However, I must ask you to leave it there.” 

Rin swallows back his words, his throat thick. 

“I don’t know how exactly you came to be here, but time-space jutsu are notoriously unstable.” The Sandaime lets his gaze wander up to the small window and his shoulders drop ever so slightly. “Your presence here has likely changed things already, and there’s no telling what would happen if you were to freely speak of where you came from. At the very least, someone would attempt it again.”

“Oh.” 

The Sandaime nods and then turns back towards the door as Rin finds a sudden interest in the wall. It is nothing he didn’t already know. Just hearing it said to him by someone else though, that makes the reality of his situation hit a bit closer to home. 

“Oh, right.” The Hokage pauses, his hand poised in front of the door, ready to signal to the guard. “You were intending on becoming the Hokage one day, were you not?” 

“I was. Maybe not anymore, but I still want to be a shinobi, at least,” Rin hesitantly answers. 

“That is exactly what I was hoping to hear. Someone will be by in a couple hours to escort you to my office, and I will start putting an exam together to test your abilities.” The Hokage glances over his shoulder and smiles. “Welcome to Konoha, Uzumaki Rin.”

* * *

Naruto found out about the other Uzumaki in the village almost an entire week before Kakashi-sensei mentions the meeting with the Hokage to him. 

Or, more specifically, he overheard a conversation between a couple jounin at Ichiraku’s before they realized he was listening to them. After that, they’d been pretty closed lipped, but it certainly doesn’t stop him from trying to find out more. 

So far, there have been two major rumours going around the village. First, that this new Uzumaki was some sort of ghost from some place called Uzushio and that’s why it took him so long to get here and why he apparently needed medical attention the moment he got to Konoha. Naruto grins to himself as he sneaks into the side door of the Academy. That is certainly the rumour he likes better, even if ghosts are usually transparent and terrifying. 

The other rumor Naruto heard isn’t nearly as interesting. 

Apparently some tech shinobi found some certain type of grass in the Uzumaki’s sandals that only grows in Rain Country. Put that together with the condition he came to Konoha in and that means this Uzumaki is just some long-lost relative of Naruto’s who got into trouble with foreign shinobi and came to Konoha for help. 

One of the instructors gives him an odd look as he ducks into the administrative section of the building, making quick work towards the Hokage’s office, but he hardly even notices. There are far more important things to focus on right now. Like the reason behind the Hokage waiting until now to talk to him about the new Uzumaki. 

The rest of the way to the Hokage’s office is mostly committed to memory after the amount of times Naruto has found himself here. Enough so that it makes him pause when there isn’t a guard stationed outside of the office. 

“Naruto?”

He turns and falters briefly at the sight of the Hokage’s assistant. Like always, the asshole stares blankly at the spot right above Naruto’s head, face schooled into an expression of complete indifference. 

“What?” 

The corner of the assistant’s mouth twitches before he pulls himself up taller. “Follow me.”

If it weren’t for the lack of guards outside the office, Naruto would have ran in the other direction right about now. This guy isn’t creepy in the same way Ebisu is creepy, but Ebisu is a closet pervert, and Naruto wants to know what this is all about. He’s still hesitant as he follows though, down one hallway and then another to the room the Hokage keeps for foreign visitors. 

There are guards outside of this new room, and the assistant doesn’t linger before turning on his heel and leaving Naruto to his own devices. He doesn’t even bother to say anything, and Naruto rolls his eyes before pushing his way inside.

The stranger sitting across from the Hokage is what grabs his attention immediately. Naruto tells himself it’s because he’s met almost all of the older shinobi at some point or another, mostly when he used to prank people, but it’s really because of the hair. Bright red hair that falls down to the man’s shoulders, partially tied back in a haphazardly kept tie. Nobody in the village has hair quite that shade, even if there are a few with blond hair like his own.

“How is your hair so red?” Naruto blurts out. 

“Naruto-kun,” the Hokage starts to say but then the stranger laughs. 

“It’s fine, Hokage-sama, he’s just curious.” The stranger smiles at him, a cup of tea nestled between rough-looking hands, and Naruto blinks, confused when it doesn’t fall flat a moment later. “My hair’s the same colour as my mother’s was, actually.”

Naruto feels his cheeks start to heat up, and he scowls despite himself. His weight doesn’t quite want to rest properly on one leg or another, only getting worse when he notices the Hokage watching him. 

“How about you sit down, Naruto-kun? Then I can properly introduce the two of you,” the Hokage says gently. 

The rest of the details about the stranger fill in as Naruto makes his way to the free pillow and awkwardly folds his legs beneath him. He isn’t the tallest person in the world, even sitting down Naruto can tell that Kakashi-sensei has a few inches on him, but he easily fills out the loose, blue robe draped across his shoulders. What is honestly the strangest thing about him is that he keeps watching Naruto, even as Naruto purposely turns his attention towards the tea the Hokage pours for him. 

Really, the stranger looks just as out of place in this room as Naruto feels. There is something about the casual way he holds himself that makes Naruto think he would be far more comfortable in a fight than some stuffy tea room. 

“Uzumaki-san, this is Uzumaki Naruto.” The Hokage nods his head towards Naruto and then towards the stranger. “Naruto-kun, this is Uzumaki Rin. It seems his mother and your own were cousins, though I don’t believe they ever had the pleasure of meeting each other.” 

Naruto’s shoulders hunch as he frowns down at the table. “And?” 

“‘And?’ Should there be something more, Naruto-kun?” the Hokage asks. 

“Well, yeah.” They have to be staring at him now, and it makes his fingers clench around the edge of the pillow he’s sitting on. “Like, what’s he doing here? Is he sticking around or is this just some weird stop on his way to somewhere else? And why now?” 

The Sandaime sighs, suddenly looking much older than his already old age. “I think, perhaps, it might be a better idea for you to explain, Uzumaki-san?” 

Naruto sneaks a quick glance up just in time to see Rin’s wide-eyed look of panic. 

That’s good, at least. 

He isn’t the only one freaking out about how weird all of this is. 

“I-” Rin cuts himself off and awkwardly shifts around, even as he doesn’t look away from Naruto. “I plan on staying in Konoha, if that’s alright with you, Naruto-kun. I’ve known about you for a while now though, and I’m sorry that I didn’t come here as soon as I found out.” 

Naruto scrunches his nose automatically, his resolve on not looking up again entirely forgotten. “But why now?” 

“Honestly? I got tired of pretending I don’t need a family.”

This guy is weird. 

Naruto knows it as easily as he knows that Rin means what he said. There isn’t one thing that points to his honesty, not in the way that Sasuke sometimes points out something people do when they lie, but that doesn’t matter. Adults don’t just admit things like needing a family. Not even Iruka will come out and say anything like that, not even when Naruto tries goading him into admitting he’s lonely. 

It makes it difficult to hold back a smile, actually. Naruto leans forward, bringing his arms up onto the table, and takes a closer look at Rin. The small smile fades from Rin’s face for just a moment, but it’s more than enough for Naruto to spot the way Rin looks off towards his right and, that’s the same look Sasuke used to get sometimes when he was thinking about his family. Naruto leans back again, but this time it’s with an easy nod as he ignores the amused expression on the Hokage’s face. 

“You should have come sooner,” Naruto says, matter-of-factly. 

Rin cracks that small smile again. “You’re right, I should have.” 

“But about this whole being a family thing.” His voice sounds a bit too excited, even as he tries for casual, but he can’t really help it. “What exactly does it consist of? I mean, you obviously can’t be a Uzumaki without also being a shinobi, but will we do things like go on missions together? Oh, do you have any secret clan jutsu that you want to pass onto me?” 

The Hokage clears his throat, cutting Naruto’s questions off. “For the time being, the two of you will simply continue to get to know each other. If Uzumaki-san does have any jutsu he wishes to pass on, then that is up to him, but Naruto, you currently can only take missions with the rest of your team.” 

“But-” 

“I think that sounds fair,” Rin says quickly. 

Then Rin picks up his cup of tea and takes a sip, his face morphing into disgust almost immediately. Naruto holds back a snicker and subtly pushes his own cup a bit further away.


	5. those who change us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It is true that those we meet can change us, sometimes so profoundly that we are not the same afterwards, even unto our names.”_ -Yann Martel, _Life of Pi_

Rin takes a deep breath of fresh air. Konoha still smells a bit like home, freshly cooked food wafting down the street and hint of pine beneath that. It makes his heart hurt a bit, but nowhere close to how jarring everything felt when he first came back here. 

No one pays him any attention as he continues down the street, too preoccupied with their own lives to care about the harmless stranger going for a walk. Given that he left his kunai pouch back in his newly-acquired house, only a trained eye would be able to notice the shuriken hidden away in the folds of his sleeves. Even then, there is no reason why he shouldn’t be strolling through the streets, regardless of the early hour. 

Then again, his real self is back at the house with that kunai pouch. When he left, he had been dealing with the dirty dishes that had filled the sink since yesterday morning. Rin really doesn’t envy having to do that. 

Not that it matters because he’ll still have the memory of washing dishes later. 

This is going to have enough risks attached to it, Rin reminds himself, his smile fading. Complaining about doing the dishes is the last thing he should be doing right about now. 

His two ANBU guards had gone down to one this morning, and that was the first time that had happened since Rin was let out of confinement a week ago. If it weren’t for that, he wouldn’t have managed to sneak out of the house without being noticed. 

Rin turns down an alleyway, stepping around a stack of boxes for the dumpling shop out front. There is another turn to the right a few feet into the alleyway, and he takes that one as well, his fingers skimming the wooden wall. 

This new alleyway is tiny. Not even enough room for two people to pass each other without a bit of effort, but that should mean he’s on the right track. Konoha has far more nooks and crannies than any other village Rin has ever spent time in though. If he’s just a street or two off, than he’ll never find it. That only goes double if the person who gave him the information hadn’t written it down properly or something else to that effect. 

Once he gets to the other end of the alleyway, he frowns and turns around, trailing his fingers along the other wall. 

There should be a- 

And there it is. 

Rin grins to himself as he finds a small dip in the wooden panels, undetectable by sight. His fingers follow it from the ground to just above his head, where it stops alongside the panel. Just like his informant mentioned, a tree grows out of the wall above him, twisting upwards between the two buildings. That bit of information really hadn’t been the most useful because Konoha almost has more trees than people, but it will probably help him find this place again later. 

A quick glance down either end of the alleyway confirms that no else is around and he pulls the door open. Rin promised himself earlier that he wouldn’t do this very thing, but he’s fairly certain his real self will understand. 

It opens easily enough, but Rin’s shoulders slump when he peeks inside. There are nothing but cobwebs inside. The cobwebs may lead down a rather rickety-looking staircase but this place certainly isn’t in use anymore. Judging by the layer of dust along the ground, it hasn’t been in use for a very long time. 

His real self really won’t appreciate him going down there right now, no matter how tempting it looks. 

At least this will give him a good place to start looking for where Danzō is currently hiding ROOT. Rin closes the door again and then releases the jutsu, disappearing into a puff of smoke that quickly dissipates from the alleyway. 

The real Rin doesn’t so much as blink at the rush of new information. Leaving his dishes for so long really hadn’t been his smartest idea with the way the food has started to stick to the pans. He puts a bit more effort into it than strictly necessary, frowning down at the sink. 

Information from someone outside of the village always comes at a risk. Anything can be inaccurate or outdated or even purposely wrong but there hadn’t been much of a choice. No one knows about the continued existence of ROOT in Konoha, leaving only a few who have done dealings with Danzō in the past to set him in the right direction. It’s just that he’s usually a bit better at gambling than this. 

The rest of the food comes off and Rin quickly dries the pot, putting it away with the other dishes. For all that he’s spent most of the past week trying to make the house a bit more homey, his cupboards are still almost bare. On one hand, it stops him from waiting too long to actually clean up. On the other, he does hope to have company around at some point. 

Rin empties the sink and then uses the hair elastic around his wrist to tie most of his hair out of his face. There isn’t a hitai-ate for him to put on, at least not until after his placement exam tomorrow, but he starts for the door where the rest of his equipment is. His scrolls are strapped around his hips and his kunai pouch tied to his right thigh, before he wraps bandages around his wrists for extra support. 

His thin jacket is shrugged over his shoulders next, before Rin grabs the spear sitting beside the door. He adjusts it to his back with an ease that only comes from years of practice then slips into his sandals. 

Now, if only he were as emotionally prepared as he is physically.

* * *

This is the third time this week that Kakashi hasn’t shown up on time. 

Sasuke doesn’t bother to hold back his scowl as he leans against the railing, the sound of moving water coming up from beneath them. It’s like Kakashi knows exactly what will piss all three of them off the most and then proceeds to do exactly that. Making them wait hours for him is definitely one of those things. 

None of them are talking to each other either, which almost makes this more unbearable. Sakura gave up on starting a conversation ages ago, instead sitting down on the bridge. She looks almost moments away from falling asleep. Sasuke really can’t blame her, not when Kakashi demanded that they all show up at sunrise this morning. Their mission yesterday went late as well, otherwise maybe they would have protested a bit more. 

Not that protesting has made a difference so far. 

His gaze flickers over to Naruto despite himself and the promise he made to himself this morning. Only Naruto looks far more well-rested than he has any right to be as he paces the far length of the bridge. It’s either that or he’s attempting to keep himself awake by moving. 

Sasuke’s scowl deepens just as Naruto turns on his heel, their eyes locking together. “Hey, what are you glaring at me for!” 

“Maybe I just can’t stand the sight of you,” Sasuke snaps back. 

Naruto falters but it hardly lasts a moment before he pulls himself up to his full height. “Well, maybe I can’t stand the sight of you either, teme.” 

Sasuke snorts and finally looks away. 

“Hey, what was that for? Don’t look away from me when I’m talking to you!” 

“Guys,” Sakura says, interrupting them, “who’s that?” 

The question is just abrupt enough to take Sasuke’s attention off of Naruto and he follows Sakura’s gaze down the path leading up to the bridge. Someone is actually walking towards them. Most of the other shinobi tend to ignore this spot in the morning, whether by design or coincidence, Sasuke doesn’t quite know. 

This guy certainly doesn’t look like most Konoha shinobi either. His skin is tanned, like someone who spends most of his time outside. Konoha doesn’t get quite as much rain as a place like Ame does, but between the rain and the shade from the trees, nobody really gets an actual tan. That he isn’t wearing a hitai-ate only comes a second warning sign, enough for Sasuke to push himself up off the railing. 

“Hey!” Sasuke and Sakura freeze as Naruto’s shout echoes around them. “How did you know we would be here?” 

The man waits until he reaches the bridge before answering, simply. “You were the one who told me that your team usually meets here before training together on Thursdays.” 

“But Kakashi-sensei was supposed to be here hours ago!” 

“Hours ago? It’s a fairly normal time to start training right now, isn’t it?” the man asks. 

“That wasn’t what-” 

Sakura grimaces, her pain blatant on her face. “You know this guy, Naruto-kun?” 

“What?” Naruto stops and blinks at both of them, his frustration melting away. “Oh, right, this guy. Heh, I forgot to tell you guys, didn’t I? This weirdo is Uzumaki Rin.” 

Uzumaki glances towards the two of them. Or rather, he looks just over their shoulders, his smile briefly wavering before it comes back full force. “The two of you must be Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura, then. Naruto-kun mentioned you when we met last week.”

Sasuke snorts at the ludicracy of this entire situation. Uzumaki certainly isn’t fooling him with a smile like that, not when he can’t even hold it when he’s looking at them. Only Naruto would fall for a trick like this, though Sasuke isn’t certain why anyone would try pretending to be an Uzumaki. He’s only met the one of them and that is more than enough. 

Except that doesn’t quite feel right.

What must be solely by instinct, Naruto turns on his heel and glowers at Sasuke. His lips flatten down to a thin line when Sasuke smirks back at him. “What’s your problem, teme?” 

“What makes you think I have a problem?” he asks, haughtily. 

“Because your face is doing that thing!” 

Sakura pushes herself off the bridge railing, her eyes ablaze. “Sasuke-kun’s face is completely fine, Naruto! You’re the one with the problem.” 

“What, Sakura-chan-” 

“Would you just leave Sasuke-kun alone?” 

That is almost worse than Naruto insulting him in the first place. Sasuke opens his mouth to retort when he notices the expression on Uzumaki’s face and the words freeze in the back of his throat. 

Uzumaki’s smile has faded away entirely, all of his features having gone slack. There isn’t anymore avoidance of him and Sakura anymore, which is almost just as surprising as the wet sheen to his eyes. This expression, far more than the fake smile, makes it simple to place Uzumaki, memories of a particular day from years ago filtering through his head. 

There isn’t much that Sasuke can remember from that time. Most days, the few weeks directly following the massacre feel like an empty gap until vague memories of sparring at the Academy and learning how to make clones for the first time filter through. One particular piece that sticks out from those few weeks, and it’s always the guy calling himself an Uzumaki from the Memorial Stone. 

The chances of there being two people who like to go by Uzumaki and look that sad are almost non-existent. 

Sasuke takes a step forward. “You.” 

“Me?” Uzumaki asks. 

“You were at the Memorial Stone years ago!” 

Naruto turns so he can see both Uzumaki and Sasuke, but his scowl is aimed solely at Sasuke. “What the hell, teme? Why didn’t you tell me you met someone with the same name as me?” 

“I forgot, okay!” 

“No, not okay,” Naruto snaps. “He’s weird but he also isn’t entirely shitty. I deserved to know he existed, at least.” 

“I didn’t even know if he was actually-” Sasuke cuts himself off, swallowing back the words and he looks back over the stream. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter now. The two of you have met, so who cares if I met him once.”

The scowl on Naruto’s face waves before setting back into stone. The rest of the world always ceases to exist when Naruto looks like that. Sasuke has seen it more than enough times, from when he tries pranking shinobi and civilians alike to when he starts thinking that he’s better at throwing shuriken than Sasuke is. 

Right now is really no different, even if they aren’t talking to each other. All Sasuke needs to do is take a step forward and they’ll both forget about how stupid Naruto listening to Mizuki’s suggestion to steal the Nidaime’s scroll was. His hands tighten into fists as he continues to stand there with hunched shoulders. Anger isn’t so simple to let go of.

“Ah, I didn’t think you would be allowed out to play with my adorable students so quickly, Uzumaki-san.” 

Sakura shrieks and stumbles forward, nearly running right into him. It takes a long moment for his realize what exactly happened as Kakashi innocently tilts his head to the side. He’s perched on the railing, right beside where Sakura had been leaning a moment before. 

Kakashi blinks slowly as he takes in their expressions. The corner of his visible eye wrinkles and that makes the blood in Sasuke’s veins start to boil. They’ve been waiting here for four hours. Four entire hours of suffering through Naruto’s almost glances and Sakura’s annoyingness. The words to express all of that are far from his reach though, as what comes out of his throat instead is a strangled noise. 

“It’s nice to see all of you here so early too,” Kakashi adds, nodding to himself. “You’re always so eager to improve.”

“What?” Sasuke asks, blankly.

Kakashi pauses to consider. “Didn’t I ask you to be here at ten?”

“No!” His voice is joined by two others, and for once, he doesn’t mind it. 

“I could have sworn that I did.” 

Sakura whimpers, moments away from tugging at her long strands of pink hair. 

Naruto points towards Kakashi. “That doesn’t even matter! It’s-” 

“Ten o’clock on the dot.” 

Sasuke’s face goes carefully blank, because if it isn’t, then he’ll end up shouting again. If Kakashi had showed up on time, then why had all three of them shown up four hours early? There are a million things he could have been doing instead, the least of which being sleeping. The scrolls still sitting on his bedside table need to go back to the library, to start with. He also hasn’t done laundry in close to two weeks, not to mention other chores around the house. 

This throws his expectations for Kakashi entirely off. It also means he needs to start paying more attention to when Kakashi tells them to meet up. If all three of them got it wrong this time, there’s no telling what it will be next time. 

His line of thought is cut off by a sharp inhale and Sasuke turns his attention back towards the rest of them. Uzumaki stumbles towards the railing and grabs a hold of it, his knuckles turning white with the force of his grip. Red strands slip off of his shoulder and draw attention to the pale shade of his cheeks. It makes him look sick, like he should actually be in the hospital or in bed, sleeping off the flu. 

Sakura hesitantly steps forward, leaning in to try and get a better look at Uzumaki’s face. “Are you alright, Uzumaki-san?” 

“Rin,” Uzumaki corrects, quickly enough. His grip on the railing loosens, making the blood rush back to his hands. “I should be fine though. I, ah, think the milk from this morning was a bit closer to the expiry date than I’d thought.” 

Sasuke’s concern vanishes in a heartbeat. There is no longer any doubt in his mind that Naruto and Uzumaki are related, especially given that Naruto’s face is twisted into misplaced sympathy. Sakura shudders and takes a step back again, her disgust clearly showing. The only one who doesn’t show any noticeable reaction is Kakashi and Sasuke doesn’t intend on even trying to guess what he’s thinking. 

At least, not until Kakashi sighs and pulls out his worn copy of Icha Icha Paradise.

“What the hell,” he says, hardly louder than a whisper. 

“Isn’t it time for training? All three of you should be able to run the perimeter of the village by the end of the week. If not, then you’ll be doing five laps around the entire village as of next week.” Kakashi’s voice never changes from its bored drawl, his attention already focused down on his book. “And will you be joining us then, Uzumaki-san?” 

“Joining? Why would he be joining us?” Naruto looks between Sakura and Kakashi, clearly thrown off guard. 

“Family members are allowed to attend team training sessions, if they so wish.” Kakashi glances up from his book briefly, his gaze focusing in on Uzumaki. It makes Sasuke want to cheer for Uzumaki, even if the vague annoyance only lasts for a moment. “Of course, they’re supposed to consult the jounin instructor of their family member prior to showing up.”

“And I have faith that you’ll train them well, so I’ll wait for another day to help Naruto-kun with his training,” Uzumaki offers, the tension disappearing. 

He shouldn’t have any faith, given what Kakashi has put them through already. They may get actual training, if usually without any instructions. But between the books Kakashi keeps reading and how much more work Sasuke has left to do, it almost isn’t worth it.

* * *

The sunset is always beautiful from the roof of the Administration building. It is just the right height to see the village being immersed in reds and oranges while still technically being in the village. Hiruzen personally saves the view from the top of the Hokage Monument for days when he’s feeling a bit more nostalgic, for that was [his wife]’s favourite place to watch the sunset. 

Hiruzen slowly exhales and leans against the cement barrier. The village is almost too quiet at the moment. He is far too used to more shouting, often with the occasional explosion, with his evening routine. Then again, a good portion of the jounin are either out on missions or have been busy with their new genin teams. It isn’t every year that there are so many genin teams around. 

The door to roof closes just loudly enough for Hiruzen to catch it. “I thought I would find you up here.”

“Danzō,” he says, easily, “what brings you here today?” 

Danzō falls into place beside him, his arms folded in front of him. “The report you filed with the Council today, I’m afraid.” 

There is only one report that Danzō could be talking about. Hiruzen sighs, his good mood for the day vanishing. It took the better part of a week to sort out the inconsistencies within it, and he’s confident that the rest of the Council would pass them by. The rest of the Council has never been on a team with him before, though, and Danzō has. 

“Are you here as a Council member or as a friend?” he asks, just to be certain. 

Danzō hums, looking out at the village. “I still have some questions for you to answer before I figure that out, Hiruzen.” 

“A Council member, then.” 

“I am always, first and foremost, someone who cares about the well-being of the village.” Danzō shakes his head. “But this isn’t the time for that old debate. Who exactly is Uzumaki Rin?” 

Once, Hiruzen would have explained the whole story to him twice over, without so much as a blink of his eyes. Now, that is no longer the case. It isn’t that his regard or trust in Danzō has changed, so much as Hiruzen has learned that there are things better kept to himself, just in case. 

Any amount of time can pass by and he will still remember what Danzō ordered Orochimaru to do to those children, no matter how much the situation has improved since then. Orochimaru may have taken the fall, but Danzō did play a significant role in the situation. Maybe not as large of a role as Hiruzen himself played, but a role nonetheless. The shinobi world would have to be veering towards nation-wide peace before Hiruzen considered explaining what Rin almost revealed to him.

“From what I can tell,” Hiruzen starts, not turning away from setting sun, “Rin-san is the son of a survivor of Uzushio’s fall.”

“That was what your report detailed, yes, but the son of a survivor does not mean an actual shinobi from Uzushio. The time for making up for past mistakes has come and gone,” Danzō says.

“On the contrary, the time to make up for past mistakes is never gone.”

“Semantics.” Hiruzen sighs at the venom in Danzō’s voice, but Danzō simply continues on, “Your report, as well as Uzumaki Rin’s continued existence in our village, have revealed yet another problem with this village.”

The sun disappears beneath the horizon and Hiruzen finally looks over at his old friend, unsurprised at the frown carved into his face. “And what, pray tell, is that?”

“That your willingness to believe the best in a person, right down to fabricating a story to ensure they stay in the village, will result in our demise. And I cannot even say for certain that had another Konoha shinobi been in your position, they would have done differently.”


	6. don't let the bitterness in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness take your sweetness.”_ -Kurt Vonnegut

Sakura really has no idea where Kakashi-sensei disappeared to. 

That doesn’t sound nearly as bad as it actually is. Most days, Sakura would be absolutely fine with that. But most days, she isn’t clinging to a branch, leaves undoubtedly stuck in her hair, as she plays some sadistic version of tag with Kakashi-sensei as her partner. 

Matters are not at all helped by the fact that Naruto and Sasuke are just a short distance below her. All it would take is a brief glance upwards, and both of them would be able to see her. They don’t talk as they scan the small clearing. Sakura has seen that happen sometimes, especially before the two of them started fighting a few months back. That was supposed to be her opportunity to get closer to Sasuke. Instead, he started refusing to eat lunch with anyone at all. 

“I thought you said she headed in this direction, teme,” Naruto says, out of the blue. His interest seems to be mostly on a random bush, not far from where Sakura purposely broke a couple branches earlier to lead them astray. 

Sakura can’t hear Sasuke huff, but she can see it in the tightening of his shoulders. “She did.” 

“Then where is she?” 

“I don’t know!” 

Letting out a sigh of relief would be a very bad idea right about now, so she manages to hold it back, just barely. Instead, her head drops down to the tree branch as she continues to watch them. 

There is no hesitance in the way they let the argument drop, or in the way they switch positions. Intellectually, Sakura knows they do this so that one person might catch something another has missed, but applying that to Naruto and Sasuke just doesn’t feel right. Sasuke is more than capable of noticing at least double of what Naruto can, even on a bad day. Tracking isn’t even Sasuke’s speciality, not like Hinata or Kiba. 

She briefly reaches up to push a strand of hair from her gaze, grimacing. There will be more knots in it today than last week, and last week Naruto spent most of their training session showing off, even though his cousin hadn’t stayed to watch. It will take at least half an hour to brush out all the leaves, maybe a bit longer if she wants to actually get out all the tangles. How Ino manages it with even longer hair, she will never know. At least, not without asking and that is a bit too much embarrassment. 

Her eyes narrow as Naruto and Sasuke’s movements suddenly come into clear focus. One thing about being up here, apart from the struggle of it all, is that she can almost see their lessons being reenacted. Those slow, steady movements are normally used to draw someone into a trap. 

The real question is whether they’re doing it on purpose or not. 

She has more or less been following them from place to place, once she figured out that Kakashi-sensei had no intentions of helping her. Better to stay close to the people hunting her, than to be entirely unaware of how close they are later on. 

Naruto and Sasuke certainly have not talked about anything even close to a strategy in that time frame. And the amount of people who are capable of acting out plans without first confirming what that plan is, can likely be counted on one hand. A few minutes might have gone by where Sakura couldn’t see them, but that doesn’t change much. Not unless they managed to learn hand signal in the span of a week. 

Her eyes narrow as she looks more closely at the tree Sasuke is standing beside. His fingers are brushing the bark, light momentarily bouncing off a thin, metal wire. 

They’re making a trap on purpose then. 

A pang of hurt echoes through her, and there’s nothing Sakura can do to stop her hands from shaking. Currently fighting or not, the two of them were almost glued to each other’s side since they started at the Academy. She just happens to be the other people they got stuck with for their genin team.

“Ah, it probably won’t be long before they figure out where we are now.” 

Sakura screeches and fumbles her grip on the branch. 

Her hands are first. The only thing stopping her from falling to the ground is how tightly her legs are wrapped around the branch as well. Blood rushes down to her head as she hangs there, cover blown. It couldn’t have happened in a more embarrassing way either, not with her skirt hanging down as well, shorts underneath them or not. She glances up, briefly, her jaw twitching painfully at what she sees there. 

Kakashi-sensei is carefully perched on the branch above her, his face tucked into one of his weird, disgusting novels. There must be some trick to how he’s doing it, because the branch itself is impossibly small in comparison to his own size. He lowers his book for a moment and beams down at her, like he knows that she knows something is going on. The book snaps shut as he finally turns his attention to Naruto and Sasuke. 

“This is your first time playing tag, so I think it’s the perfect time to give you a piece of advice.” Sakura opens her mouth to protest, but Kakashi-sensei continues, intentionally oblivious. “The best way not to become prey, is to go after the predator yourself.” 

“Kakashi-sensei-” 

“Ha, I knew she was there!” Naruto says, nearly ten times louder than it needs to be. 

Sakura stops, and swallows. 

“You thought she was somewhere around here, dobe. You didn’t know she was up there.”

There is approximately one way out of this situation. Sakura forces her eyes closed for a moment, going through as many other options as she can find. There aren’t many, even less with Kakashi-sensei’s so-called advice. 

She lets herself start to fall, quickly twisting herself around so she can use a branch father down to slow her descent. They might have better teamwork than her, but there has to be something that she can use against them, something that she can use to fight on her own two feet.

* * *

The Standby Station is certainly more crowded today than it normally is. Not that Asuma is entirely oblivious as to why, at least not anymore. 

Walking in a few hours back to check the roster had been a bit of a surprise. Instead of the two or three people who can normally be found hanging around, there had been upwards of ten, and then more people just kept showing up.

“I guess you’re here because of the rumours too, Asuma?” Kurenai asks as she falls into place beside him. 

They share a small smile, before Asuma snorts and shakes his head. “Rumours? The way I heard it, Gai was so excited that he couldn’t stop himself from telling Genma about this new assignment of his.” 

“Since when has Gai ever been able to hold something back?” 

“Good question.” Asuma sighs, his smile not quite disappearing. “He was in ANBU once though, so he must have been able to. But no, I only showed up to check the roster. My kids have the day off.” 

More accurately, Ino was going to tear Shikamaru’s head off if they were anywhere close to each other today. There is almost more in-fighting with this new Ino-Shika-Cho Team than is worth the effort, and Asuma just can’t quite figure out the trick to making them get along. He isn’t entirely certain there’s just one thing he can do. 

Kurenai laughs softly, in quiet understanding. Not reaching over to lace their fingers together is always a bit more difficult than it should be, even when Asuma knows they’ll be curled up on his couch later tonight, exchanging stories about their teams. Keeping this whole thing quiet is a lot more difficult than it has any right to be. 

The room almost seems to quiet all at once. 

That can’t be, because Asuma can also pick out Aoba swearing from the other side of the room, but it’s close enough. His eyes immediately scan the room for the culprit, and settle on the figure in the door. 

Any doubt that Uzumaki Rin is less than the real thing flees. A quiet smile rests on his face, but he moves like he’s been in a war, all light, careful steps and danger lurking beneath a calm facade. Hair that red could only belong to an Uzumaki as well, though Asuma doubts that he ever met Kushina. For one, Kushina would have said something before she died. She almost rivalled Gai in her ability to keep secrets. 

“Huh,” Kurenai says. 

Asuma nods, just barely raising his chin. “I know, right?” 

Rin easily steps between them, seeking out the desk by the far wall and asking something. The poor chūnin stutters out an answer, just quietly enough that Asuma can’t actually make out the words. If Rin ends up being instated as anything less than a tokubetsu jounin, Asuma will shave his beard with a rusty shuriken. 

“Just where are you going?” 

He stops, chuckling as he realizes that he’s already stepped forward. “Well, how else are we going to find out anything about him, if we’re not going to actually talk to him?” 

“Crazy.” Kurenai shakes her head, hiding a smile. “You’re a crazy man, and I have no idea why I’m dating you.” 

“Say that a little louder, would you?” 

Kurenai’s laughter carries him across the room. Asuma reaches for the pack of cigarettes in his pocket, pulling it out as he leans against the wall beside Rin. Even being close to the newcomer is a bit on the overwhelming side, given that the warmth rolling off of him feels like the sun. 

Normal people don’t radiate heat like that, but Asuma certainly isn’t about to judge or ask. Special techniques are always personal, even when the person in question is a foreign shinobi and Asuma has no real gauge of his strength. That probably won’t stop someone like Anko or Inoichi from asking, when it comes down to it. Their thirst for outside information is similar to a bee searching for honey. 

“Smoke?” he offers, holding out the open package. 

Rin shakes his head. “Nah, I’d be hanged, drawn, and quartered for something like that. Trust me, nobody wants it to come to that.” 

Asuma stares for a long moment, before shrugging and taking one for himself. His information had said that Rin didn’t seem to have any living relatives, but that was all hearsay in one hand and presumption in the other. “Partner?” 

“Summons, actually.” The corner of Rin’s mouth lifted in a crude mockery of a smile. “They’re usually the grumpy sort. I certainly won’t forget the first time I summoned them, not with how often they like to remind me.” 

He laughs sympathetically, as he lights his cigarette. “Rough.” 

“Don’t worry, my payback is usually tenfold.” 

“Yeah, you seem the type.” Asuma lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a long drag, blowing out the smoke away from Rin’s face. “Sarutobi Asuma.” 

“Uzumaki Rin,” Rin offers, easily enough. 

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Huh?” 

Asuma waves away the unspoken question. “The only way you could have attracted more attention is if you brought us the Mizukage’s head. Which, in hindsight, please don’t attempt. It’s generally better to try avoiding wars.” 

“Good thing I’m not here to start one then,” Rin says, but he looks a bit on the uncomfortable side, his bright eyes hooded. 

“I figured. Or hoped, at least. It’s just that people like to talk.” 

“Oh.” 

Watching Rin attempt to work that out in his head is far more amusing than Asuma would have ever thought it to be. It starts as a blank expression, then slowly his thin, red eyebrows start to inch closer together and his mouth twists uncomfortably. Asuma only wishes he could tell what was going through that head right about now. 

“Really?” Rin asks, after a moment. 

“Really, what?” 

“Have people really been talking about me? I didn’t think I made too conspicuous of an entrance.” 

Asuma pauses, looking around the room. There are a few, small, forced conversations going on now, but he also doesn’t think anyone else showed up for another reason than to see the new Uzumaki. “A bit, yeah. I don’t think you should worry about it too much though, people are just curious. Mostly about why Kakashi was brought in to see you, when you first arrived.” 

Rin laughs in relief, but the sound strangely forced. “Didn’t he tell anyone that we’ve met before?” 

“ _What._ ”

“Well,” Rin drags out the word, his eyes all but sparkling. “I can’t say I would be too surprised if he didn’t remember me. He’d already been drinking by the time he approached me, but I really wasn’t about to refuse a begging man. I can’t really say I denied it, anyways!” 

Asuma’s mind comes to an abrupt stop. 

Uzumaki Rin. 

And Kakashi, winner of this year’s suppressed emotions award. 

Together.

Likely in bed, if not up against some alley wall. 

He takes another look at Rin, and lets the relief set into his bones with a small groan. That isn’t the look of someone sheepishly relaying his past experiences. A grin like that can only belong to someone who is entirely attempting to screw with him. Asuma flicks his ashes to the ground, and takes a long drag from his cigarette. 

The smoke slowly pours out of his mouth a moment later, as he refuses to look back over at the man beside him. “You know, you’re a real jerk, Uzumaki-san.” 

“I hear that will only help me fit in around here!” 

At the very least, Rin isn’t wrong about that. Better not to be eaten alive by Anko or Gai, or whoever else decides to take on the challenge of screwing with the guy. It will be someone, if only because it happens to everyone, at some point. More often, if it’s someone like Hiashi or Ibiki, who are both equally prone to blowing things far out of proportion. 

A flash of green by the open window makes Asuma freeze. “Well, it’s been nice talking to you, Uzumaki-san.” 

“Huh, where are you-”

“Uzumaki-san!” Gai’s voice is just as loud as it normally is, and Asuma takes the momentary pause to flee back to his spot beside Kurenai. It doesn’t matter if Gai sees him, not while he’s distracted with someone else. “It is an honour to meet you! Given your proximity to my eternal rival, I assume you already know who I am, but cordiality insists I introduce myself. Maito Gai, Konoha’s Green Beast of Prey!”

* * *

Rin hides a glance over at Gai. 

It’s caught almost immediately, anyways, Gai’s momentarily neutral face turning into a blinding grin. Blinding, because Rin has to immediately look away again, due to the sun reflecting off of Gai’s teeth and into his eyes. 

There is a good chance that while he hadn’t forgotten about Gai, not by a long shot, he had downplayed a bit of the man’s odder qualities to himself. The green, spandex jumpsuit, for one, looks like it’s a far brighter shade of green than Rin remembers. And the flowery words are even more over the top, as well. 

This Gai is a far cry from the Gai that existed after the last big battle with Madara. That Gai had been a broken shell of a man, no smiles ever passing his face. Losing his students, even long after they had gone out on their own, had been too much for him to carry, the grief consuming him in an entirely different way than it had ever consumed Obito. For one, Gai couldn’t even bring himself to move from the battlefield, his legs collapsed beneath him as he stared blankly ahead. 

“And I believe this is the place!” Gai announces, loudly interrupting Rin’s morbid train of thought. They both continue walking, the fence still a dozen meters out. “This is the Forty-Fourth Training Ground. Or as my lovely friends and comrades have taken to calling it, the Forest of Death.” 

Rin blinks, pushing down his amusement. “The… Forest of Death?” 

“That is exactly correct! All of them have such spirited imaginations.” 

Rin takes a good look at the fenced-in area. The tops of trees are visible, even just over the top of those impossibly tall walls, exactly as he remembers it. 

More disturbing, perhaps, is the complete lack of sound. On a good day, Konoha is filled with dozens of types of birds, their song leading people through the streets and through their daily routines. Here, in the middle of a forested area, is nothing. Not even a stray whistle to confirm that there are birds somewhere around here. 

His gaze stops on an old woman, and he has to stop and do a double-take, to take that information in. She peers up at them through her long bangs, her shoulders hunched forward. Once him and Gai get closer, it’s easier to see the deep laugh lines around her eyes, not accenting her age, but rather confirming it. After a moment, she pulls a scroll out from inside her sleeve, the familiar cursive of seals screaming out “Do Not Touch” to anyone who set eyes on it. 

“Cat-san, it is a pleasure to see you on this joyous day!” Gai calls over. 

Rin hesitates, his voice dropping. “Cat-san? Is that really her name?” 

“I’ve never been led to believe otherwise.” Gai smiles at him, briefly, before turning back towards Cat. “That being said, I have heard other people refer to her by different names, as well.” 

Cat starts to smile as they get closer to her, making no sign that she’d heard what Gai just said. The closer they get, the more Rin can feel the calm, centered air around her, one that doesn’t just come from age and a little bit of wisdom. 

His gaze flickers back towards the scroll, despite himself. Rin has never been the best at understanding what different seals mean, has always been the type of person to go with his gut instinct and hope everything works out. Whoever drew up this scroll though, had to have gone through a lot of work. The scroll is quickly tucked back out of sight, Cat giving him a look of pure admonishment. Nothing to do with him then. 

Rin awkwardly laughs away his embarrassment. “Alright, alright, I won’t ask. Just, tell me where I’m supposed to escort you, and I’ll do the job!” 

Cat turns coolly towards Gai, her mouth flat. 

“Ah, right.” Gai has the decency to look sheepish, at least, as he rubs the back of his neck. “I meant to explain, Cat-san. The youthful air of this spring morning must have distracted me from the entirety of my duty. Rin-san, you are correct in that you’ll be escorting her today. It will likely take you a minimum of a day to get from here to the middle of the Forest, however there will be added difficulties to this exam, including Cat-san’s inability to speak.”

His smile falls away, hesitantly. “Oh.” 

“There is no need to worry! I have every confidence that you will successfully carry out this mission, for I have every reason to believe that you are filled with as much youth as every other Konoha shinobi.” 

Rin glances back towards Cat, his awkwardness melting away as he sees her flat smile twitch at Gai’s beaming. This won’t be any different from any other mission he’s acted out, whether a formal mission or one of his own creation. All he has to do is show Gai that he’s capable of the title of jounin, which should be relatively simple. 

Not much time is put towards the rules of the mission. Everything is relatively simple in its construction: get Cat and her scroll to the rest area in the Forest of Death, protect her from possible threats, and so and so forth. Gai sends the two of them off with a spirited speech about youth and springtime and fire, that makes Rin smile, despite himself. 

Only then Rin realizes that the Forest of Death is even worse than his memories make it out to be. It must have been something about being thirteen, and far more oblivious to his surroundings than most other shinobi his age were. 

The back of his neck tingles with the dark, oppressive chakra radiating from every direction, as they start the slow, steady trek through the forest. The longer they walk, the more Rin sees eyes watching them from between trees or beneath bushes, always gone when he looks back again. Worse are the rudimentary traps set up in clearings and high above their heads, in the trees. Rin can’t tell if they’re newly set or left over from whatever exam or training exercise took place here last. 

At least, the only problem they’ve had so far is Cat looking vaguely unimpressed at his few attempts at making jokes. If things continue like this, they might make it to the tower by evening, despite what Gai had said earlier. 

Only it doesn’t. 

Rin feels the spike of chakra first. The dark, heavy chakra radiating from the rest of the forest makes it impossible to discern where it’s coming from, but then a soft inhale to his left reveals them. A kunai flies from his fingertips, Cat frozen at his side, and it lands with a hollow thunk. 

A dead snake, longer than both him and Cat put together, is pinned to a tree to his right. Rin can almost feel the shinobi on his other side relaxing, undoubtedly certain that Rin has just missed their presence. That is a fair assumption to make, if inaccurate. His hand rests on Cat’s shoulder, just in time to feel her about to take a step forward. She stills at the contact, giving him enough time to quickly survey their surroundings. 

Almost immediately, he spots two traps in front of them. If their opponent is worth it, then there will be at least one or two more, as well. Hidden beneath the beneath, as Kakashi likes to put it. 

“Just wait a moment, okay?” Rin softly tells Cat, not waiting for her agreement before his eyes drift closed. 

The traps ahead, and the shinobi to his left are just the beginning. 

A vague feeling of wrongness, of disruption, of something not belonging to this forest, rises from the chakra intertwined with every tree, plant, and rock around them. If the shinobi is a secondary measure, than the first layer of traps are clearly the first. 

Neither are the last measure of stopping them. A grin slowly starts to widen across Rin’s face, as he settles more firmly into his desire to fight. The traps are purposely obvious, with other measures set up along either side that are more subtle, more likely to be set off. Rin can’t even tell what most of them are, other than a faint or not so faint disruption of the forest. There are a few shinobi as well, six in total, if he includes the one only a few feet away. A team, almost certainly with their own methods of communication and strategies, to go up against him. 

Pulling from the nature chakra around him is simple now, and Rin starts to do it, regardless of the heavy feeling of the forest. Something reacts, back in the direction of the village, but Rin pushes forwards, refusing to be thrown off now. 

Rin opens his eyes, glancing down at Cat with his teeth showing through his smile. “I have a plan. Are you ready?”

Cat looks back at him for a long moment, before finally, she nods.


	7. the truth arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It’s impeccable how brutal the truth can be at times. You can only admire it. Usually, we walk around constantly believing ourselves. I’m okay, we say. I’m alright. But sometimes the truth arrives on you, and you can’t get it off. That’s when you realize that sometimes it isn’t even an answer - it’s a question. Even now, I wonder how much of my life is convinced.”_ -Markus Zusak, _I Am the Messenger_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long to get posted! Updates should pick up again after this point. Also, if you haven't read Chapter 6 within the last month or so, I'd suggest you go re-read it; I did some major revisions as I really didn't like the way it fit with everything else. Enjoy!

Six enemies surround them, all at different distances and likely with different specialities. Either one larger team used to working together or two put together for the sole reason of this test. None of them seem to be at the level where using senjutsu is necessary, but the chakra levels in the Forest fluctuate enough that it’s the best method to keep an eye on them. 

Rin knows exactly which seal he should use for this situation. 

The shinobi directly to his left tenses again as he draws a circle in the dirt around Cat with the edge of his sandal. With any hope, they will continue to pay more attention to what Rin is doing with his feet than what he’s doing with his hand, his index and middle fingers covered in ink from the small container in his kunai pouch. 

Then he starts to move outwards in a slow spiral. The style itself almost certainly won’t be recognized, not when its origins remain hidden beneath layers of rubble. But even if it were, the shinobi judging his skill would only recognize it as a protection seal. Not as the trap he’s setting when he leans against a tree, simultaneously continuing the spiral around the roots and drawing a tiny seal on the trunk. Now, he just has to hope it works just as the scroll explained it would. 

The air shifts as Rin closes off the spiral, faint, warm chakra radiating up from the ground. Cat turns her head to stare at him, wide-eyed, and his mouth twists into a half-smile as he hold back a laugh. There isn’t the time to explain. 

On the downside, the shinobi to his right starts to move too. The protective seal must be finally forcing them into acting.

But Rin has already accounted for that. 

His wrist flicks back, three shuriken flying through the branches to connect with the shinobi. The seal on the tree trunk hums into life when it connects, a slow, almost negligible drain on Rin’s chakra. One down, and only five more to go. 

The shinobi won’t notice a difference yet, not until Rin adds the others into the Seal of Sharing. And an ANBU-level shinobi isn’t about to back down, not when they have no choice but to take Rin seriously. This particular shinobi shoots forwards, a blur as chakra rushes to their feet, and Rin lets out a laugh as he has to jump backwards to regain his footing. 

Cat will be fine throughout all of this. Both of them avoid the spiral drawn into the ground as Rin easily trades blows with the ANBU, his spear drawn to block the swift strikes of a naginata. The ANBU likely won’t even notice what’s going on, not with the automatic cringe away from the chakra of the protective seal. Even better, nothing makes a better distraction than a good fight, just drawn out enough to bring the others in as back-up. 

Rin all but dances around the clearing, steering far enough away from Cat that the ANBU is less likely to recognize their own avoidance and staying close enough that she stays in sight. A swing of the naginata goes over his head, breathless laughter leaving him as he ducks down. 

“Is that everything you got?” he asks, amused. 

The ANBU tilts their head, a show of a silent smirk, then charges again. Their blows come faster, nearly slicing into Rin before he moves out of the way. 

His plan is working, at any rate. The ANBU can hold their own like this, but the two closest ANBU are stirring from a distance, growing concerned. All Rin will have to do from this point out is hold them off, and the others will be drawn in as well, simplifying things as he adds each of them into the seal.

* * *

Ignoring the man at his side is far more difficult for Kakashi than it has any right to be. Gai has never really mastered the art of whispering, though his awareness of that fact is always in question. A shame, because Kakashi wants to watch the show beneath them without question.

“Is that everything you got?” Rin asks, his voice drifting up from below.

“I’m surprised you kept Rin-san to yourself this entire time,” Gai says. The tip of Rin’s spear connects with his opponent's naginata that exact moment, just barely preventing Rin from hearing Gai. “Though, I can understand the desire to keep such strong power of youth to yourself.”

Kakashi’s eye twitches as he leans forward, pretending to be too enraptured in the fight to respond. At least the fight is interesting. Most jounin he knew would have disabled the first opponent, then kept going before they attracted any more intention. Standing around and inviting more trouble in almost seems counterintuitive. 

Assuming Rin has a plan at all seems counterintuitive.

That thought likely would have felt more accurate yesterday than it does today. The Hokage asking him to watch over the exam with Gai is revealing just how little Kakashi understands about Rin. His style is a strange mix between familiar and unfamiliar, but shinobi who don't grow up in shinobi villages tend to have a patched-together set of skills, none mastered. Rin seems to know a variety of different taijutsu styles, but he moves between them too easily for him not to have mastered them.

The ANBU Rin was assigned to escort attempts to step backwards, testing the seal drawn into the ground. The lines don’t move. Instead, the chakra moves with her, glowing brighter with each step she takes. Kakashi narrows his eyes. Everything suggests that the seal had been tied into the earth somehow, but that implies that it had been tied to its target instead. 

Nobody has had a skill with seals like that in just over twelve years. 

Another combatant sneaks in along the perimeter of the clearing, a familiar flash of tripwire following before it’s set into place. Not a front-line fighter, but Kakashi exhales slowly as he realizes who it is. The Hokage didn’t hold himself back for this exam. 

A signal passes between the two ANBU, almost invisible from where Kakashi and Gai are sitting. It must be almost invisible from where Rin is as well, if their skills are anything close to what they used to be. Then they switch. The back-line fighter swings forward, but Rin takes it in stride. He makes the jump over the sickle aimed for his gut look effortless, hands on the ANBU’s shoulders as he launches himself over their head, landing with two feet on the ground. 

Better opportunities to attack don’t just appear. Rin slices through the ANBU’s back with the tip of his spear.

Kakashi blinks. 

Then he reaches up, pushing his hitai-ate up. Both of the ANBU have halted, their gasping breaths audible even from up in the treetops. They both attempt a shaky step forward, then back again. Exactly as they should be, Kakashi notes to himself, amused. Their chakra has suddenly synchronized. 

Their debilitation only lasts a moment. They charge together, Rin’s laughter echoing upwards as he dodges their blows just as easily as he had one of them alone. Every rise and fall of their chakra is together, however, clearly affecting them more than it appears to. 

“His footwork is certainly impressive,” Gai says. 

Kakashi inclines his head, unable to deny it. “I’m certain he would accept an invitation to spar.” 

“Of course he would.” Gai beams, briefly, before he turns his attention downwards again. A third combatant is slowly moving along the perimeter, oblivious to the troubles Rin’s current opponent are having. “My conversation with Rin-san earlier confirmed my suspicions that he is a true Konoha shinobi at heart. Plus, I’m certain that he is not the sort of man to turn away from a challenge.” 

Rin notices the third ANBU, even in the midst of another fight. All it takes is a kunai, and then all three of the ANBU combatants halt. The breath catches in the back of Kakashi’s throat. The level of detail he sees with the Sharingan is nothing compared to a Hyuuga’s, but he can see the faint thread of chakra from the kunai attaching itself into all three of their chakra centers. 

Blood must be the main component of the technique. Kakashi has no memory of Rin starting such a technique, but there’s no denying that it’s there. There’s no other explanation for why three ANBU, one of which specializes in assassination techniques, are having so many difficulties holding their own when Rin hasn’t used anything other than taijutsu. 

“This is really all you guys got, isn’t it?” Rin asks, a shade of boredom coating his words. “Better speed this up then. There’s things I want to do today, you know?” 

One ANBU forces themselves out of the sensation, just as Rin summons three clones, coming together in a haze of fire and smoke. Kakashi swallows, forcing his expectations down. Of course Rin wouldn’t use shadow clones. Shadow clones, or any variation thereof, are a technique unique to Konoha. Rin is still an outsider, grown up outside of the village. He wouldn’t have attended the same classes teaching him how to use village jutsu that Kakashi had.

He doesn’t know why he would have ever thought any differently. 

“ANBU will fight over him the moment they’re given the opportunity,” Kakashi comments, lightly. 

Gai nods. “More likely, they will fight our strong and willful Sandaime over how soon he will be allowed to leave the village borders.” 

“I give it a month.” 

“It’ll be two, at the very least. There is little the Sandaime won’t do in order to protect this youthful village, just as it should be.” 

The three clones take off through the forest, oblivious to the way Kakashi summons his own clones to follow them. The other three combatants are already headed in this direction, likely confused by their exam not going as planned. 

Somehow, Rin looks happier in the middle of the fray than Kakashi has ever seen him. A grin spreads across his face as he ducks an awkward swipe of the naginata, jumping backwards over a trap. He might as well be doing circles around some of the strongest Konoha has to offer. He almost is doing circles around them. 

“Six weeks,” Kakashi says. “He’ll be itching to get moving long before that.” 

The three ANBU combatants pause once more, meaning one of the others must have received some sort of injury. One of them falls to their knees. 

Kakashi can see the chakra synchronization, forcing all of them to burn it at a faster rate than normal. However, it would not come as a surprise if there were some other component to it as well. 

Most techniques aren’t created in a vacuum. They attempt to do everything they can to debilitate an enemy as quickly as possible, in whatever way that comes across. Simple chakra synchronization works to give them a handicap, but it wouldn’t truly stop them in their tracks. Worth it, if the setup is as subtle as Rin’s must have been, but not effective enough. 

Certainly not effective enough for Rin to rely on just that and a bit of fancy taijutsu. 

Rin stops and swings his spear over his back, laughing breathlessly. The last three must have come into the jutsu as well then, because he walks over to the nearest tree and draws a seal there, all three of the shinobi collapsing simultaneously. No, all six of them, Kakashi notes as new information floods his head from his clones. 

“C’mon, Cat-san, I don’t think we’ll be bothered on the way to the tower anymore,” Rin says, cheerfully. 

She gives him a strange look. 

Kakashi has only the utmost sympathy for her. Most shinobi would have struggled with even the concept of a handicap, particularly one that limited communication between them and a client. Rin, on the other hand, just continues forward, as if such a limitation didn’t exist in the first place. 

A low laugh fills the air in the treetops, and it takes him longer than it should to realize it’s coming from him. 

Gai looks over at him, bemused. “Kakashi?” 

“He’s ridiculous.” He reaches up and tugs his hitai-ate back into place. “But I don’t believe he’s the type of ridiculous that will harm the village.” 

“I believe Rin-san is rather well-suited to Konoha, yes.”

“The Sandaime just had him go up against a specialized team of ANBU, and it doesn’t look like he has a single scratch on him,” Kakashi says, letting his amusement seep into his voice. “It’ll be a miracle if he doesn’t have people crowding his doorstep tomorrow morning, demanding to spar with him.” 

Gai stands up, and motions downwards to where Rin and his escortee are heading further into the village. “And you will be among them, I have no doubt.”

Kakashi blinks. “I-” 

“Very much enjoy a good fight, as well as someone who fights well.” 

“Gai.” 

“Kakashi.” 

“You’re wrong.” 

Booming laughter echoes around them in response, telling Kakashi exactly what Gai thinks about that idea. It’s loud enough that anyone could have heard it. Sure enough, Rin glances upwards for just a moment, his expression too difficult to make out from this distance. 

A sinking feeling fills Kakashi’s gut as he continues forward. It would be good to train with someone who has such a different style of fighting than what he’s used to. Rin would almost certainly agree, at any rate. Or perhaps he wouldn’t. Kakashi swallows, pushing back the thoughts that Gai has unwittingly put into his head. The last thing he’s ever going to do is listen to something Gai has said.

* * *

Sakura really hadn’t been expecting to have the day off today. She sighs as she walks towards home with the few groceries her mother asked her to pick up from the store. 

Missing training isn’t the sort of thing that’s supposed to happen. She especially isn’t supposed to miss the stupid D-Rank missions they get sent on. She shifts, discontent, but the ache in her muscles doesn’t so much as fade. 

Kakashi-sensei had said that they all needed a break, but all she’s found is that she has too much energy on her hands. Sakura can’t even sit at her desk, flipping through one of her books, without feeling the urge to get up and move around. Her mother keeps coming into her room and sighing at the sight of her. Getting groceries really is the least she could be doing right about now.

Sakura slows as she suddenly spots a shock of red hair just a few feet in front of her. It trails down just past the man’s broad shoulders, almost hiding a spear from sight. 

“Rin-san!” she calls out, before she can stop herself. 

The man stops and glances over his shoulder, wide, bright blue eyes pinning her in spot. He smiles, just small and brief, and Sakura has to shake off the odd feeling that comes. She rushes to catch up with him, grocery bags hitting her legs as she picks up her pace. 

“Hey there, Sakura-chan,” Rin says, easily, falling into steps beside her. “How was your day off?”

“You knew we had a day off?” Sakura accidentally blurts out.

“I saw Kakashi-san around earlier, so I figured that was the case.” 

“Oh.” She takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out as she thinks back to the original question. “I guess it was okay, then. I didn’t have to do much, which was kind of nice. I can’t remember the last time that I could just lay around all day.” 

Actually, Sakura doesn’t remember a time when she was ever allowed to just take a day off. Most of her free time in the Academy was spent reading as many of the textbooks Iruka-sensei would let her take out of the library as possible. Admittedly, that was mostly about Sasuke-kun in retrospect. Becoming the top kunoichi was supposed to help her get closer to Sasuke-kun. 

Becoming the top kunoichi wasn’t supposed to make her interest in him fade. Sakura thinks back to yesterday at training. They hadn’t even talked to each other, because she hadn’t started a conversation with him. That feeling had been strange, and it hurt a bit, but maybe not quite so much as she would have guessed it would. 

Rin laughs, lightly. 

Sakura falters, immediately caught off guard by the genuine-sounding noise. It’s deeper than Naruto’s is, and certainly not quite so mischievous, because the only time Naruto really laughs is when it’s at someone or after he’s pulled some sort of prank. 

“I guess you don’t get that chance often,” he says, after a moment. “You get used to it, though. I don’t think I’d know what to do with myself if I just had to sit around, relaxing all day.” 

“Weren’t you forced to do that? Naruto-kun said you were locked up for a while, before you were allowed into the village.” 

Rin looks over at her, just as they turn a corner, and she feels her cheeks start to heat up, despite herself. “That’s different. I may have been in a cell with nothing to do, but I was still coming up with diabolical plans.” 

“Diabolical… plans?” Sakura asks, faintly. 

“Of course. I had almost a thousand different training regimes already thought out, plus I took whatever opportunity I had to train in there.” Rin pauses, and his smile turns momentarily sad. “Plus, I had to try and think of a way to meet up with Naruto-kun. I didn’t know if they’d let me meet him right away.”

“R-right.” 

Rin falls silent for a moment, leaving Sakura to think things over. She thinks she understands what he’s trying to get at, though. 

Other villages aren’t like Konoha, according to the limited information they got at the Academy. Rin might not have known anything about Konoha, perhaps even to a greater extent than the little she knows about Kiri or Iwa, because he didn’t have the same access to information networks. Stricter villages might have refused to let him know where Naruto was until they were entirely certain Rin was an ally. 

Years could have gone by before he got to meet Naruto. Years and years without Naruto knowing that he even has a cousin. Having some sort of plan would have only been common sense at that point. 

Sakura steals a glance at him from the corner of her eye. Rin notices immediately and smiles at her, making her quickly look away again. There’s just something about his smile, something that leaves her feeling like she just looked at the sun, blinding and hazy. She’s almost entirely certain it didn’t look like that before, in the couple of times she’s met him. 

“Have you ever thought about becoming a medic, Sakura-chan?” 

She quickly looks up again, blinking as the question registers. “A medic?” 

“Yeah, a medic. Like Tsunade of the Saanin. I’m certain you’ve heard of her before.” 

She has. 

The lectures on Konoha’s history were some of her favourites, back when she went to the Academy, and Tsunade was her favourite history lecture. Just hearing about her and her strength is usually enough to turn her mood around. Hearing about any kunoichi who found themselves on the front line and fighting as good as they got is a treat. 

What Sakura doesn’t understand is why Rin thinks she could be Tsunade, why she would want to be Tsunade. There are plenty of other kunoichi out there who were just as amazing as Tsunade was, back in the Second Shinobi War. And Tsunade is also the only medic out there who also managed to be a front line fighter, the same sort of position Sakura hopes to hold one day. Staying with Sasuke-kun won’t be possible unless she tries to train sometime. 

“I think you could be like her,” Rin says, carefully, “if you really wanted. 

“Really?” she asks. 

Rin beams at her. “Really! Your chakra control is spectacular, Sakura-chan, which means that you’d be a naturally gifted medic, if you wanted to be. I bet you could even find a way to fight like her.” 

“Right.” 

“Just think about it, okay? You wouldn’t have to do anything about it for a long time, anyways.” 

Sakura nods, dubious. Her doubts are better kept to herself in situations like these. Rin is probably no different from her parents. They kept attempting to convince her that she’d be good at ninjutsu, just so long as she believed she could. Nevermind that anything more complicated than a couple clones usually ends up backfiring on her. Her chakra reserves just aren’t big enough. 

That sort of thing will probably be good for Naruto, at any rate. Not that she cares what happens to him. Most of the time though, he won’t even attempt to do things he knows he isn’t good at. 

Or he will try and then turn it all into some joke. 

They say goodbye to each other as Sakura reaches her house. She doesn’t need to be able to hear herself to know she sounds a bit distant. She feels a bit distant, like after she’d come back home from lessons on what to do after being captured or how to endure torture. 

Her parents share a significant look when she enters the kitchen with the groceries. Putting them away is simple though, and she does that as quickly as she can before she runs back up to her room, her door slamming behind her. 

A medic. 

Sakura lets herself imagine it for a moment. Herself, standing along the backlines, backup for anyone who manages to get themselves injured during a mission. 

Medics are a rare resource in Konoha, meant to provide support in situations gone wrong. They’re mostly put on teams with shinobi who have a lot of firepower by themselves, because those are the same shinobi who are usually injured first. Sasuke will probably be one of those shinobi, the ones who go in fast and hard. He only ever focuses on what’s directly in front of him. 

But medics also have to provide emotional support for a team, be the steady, calm hand guiding them through any number of situations. They will be the first person to know if a teammate has died. They have to tell others what happened as well. 

Sakura drops down to her bed. Her chakra control might be precise, but steady and calm, she is not. 

If something were to happen to someone she knew, she hopes she would get up and fight, not sit back and wait for the storm to pass.


	8. of almosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I am deathly afraid of almosts - of coming so very close to where I want to be in life that I can almost taste it, almost touch it, then falling just a little short.”_ -Beau Taplin, _Just Short_

Naruto squints through the sun just peaking over the tops of the buildings, finally stopping at a specific house. In his opinion, the house is too far away from everything else. Only an idiot would take the bigger rooms, instead of the shorter walk to almost everything. Rin does have an amazing yard though. It’s big enough that Naruto could practice throwing kunai or shuriken without worrying about any of the neighbours noticing what’s going on.

The second story has a balcony, an easy distance from the tree in front of the house. From there, he should be able to get inside. If he gets really lucky, the balcony door will be unlocked, but at least one of the windows on the second floor should be unlocked. 

Nobody is usually that paranoid about people getting inside. 

Shinobi are never that paranoid, because their skills are always more than enough to keep civilians away. Only someone from outside of the village would be stupid enough to mistake a shinobi’s house for a civilians, if they really need to steal something. Only an Academy student would be stupid enough to do it anyways. 

Getting up to the balcony is just as easy as Naruto thought it would be. He just climbs up through branches, balancing along one of them before he jumps down onto the balcony itself. 

Naruto grins to himself. His plan is going perfectly, exactly as he knew it would. The boards of the balcony don’t even creak underneath his weight, like he was worried they would. He had already been planning an escape route in case they had, so he could come back tomorrow morning and reassess the situation. 

The doorknob is cool beneath his touch, and Naruto momentarily pauses there. After this, there is no going back. 

He tries to turn it. 

A whoop almost escapes from his mouth as it opens just as easily as he hoped it would, unlocked for anyone who happens to come by. 

“Good morning, Naruto-kun.” 

Naruto freezes in place, one foot already inside. 

The room the door opens up to is some sort of living room and kitchen mixed together, but that isn’t that different from other houses around here. What’s different about this time is that Rin is already standing in the hallway leading off of the room, dressed in nothing more than a pair of pants and a towel thrown over his shoulder, red hair dripping onto the ground. Nobody should be awake at this time of the morning. 

Rin is awake, clearly not even just-woken-up type of awake, but full on already-been-up-for-a-couple-hours type of awake. Naruto hesitates before he slowly picks up his foot, entirely prepared to take a step backwards. 

“You can stay for breakfast, if you want,” Rin offers, stepping into the room without a care. “I was just about to cook something for myself anyways.” 

“But-”

Naruto’s voice really shouldn’t sound so strangled. 

Rin shrugs and turns into the kitchen. The fridge makes a soft noise as he opens its door, humming into life. “You could leave too. It would have been nice to have a bit of company, but I’m not about to force you into anything.” 

Naruto stays right where he is, a heartbeat passing before he drops his foot again and steps properly into the house. He came here for a reason, and in the end, it doesn’t matter if Rin is already awake or not. It would have been better, of course, if he could have woken Rin up in the most terrifying manner possible, but he guesses he’ll settle for this. 

Neither of them say a word as Naruto sits down at the kitchen table. Naruto doesn’t exactly know what he’s meant to say in a situation like this. 

He doesn’t know if anyone actually knows what to say in a situation with this. 

Rin starts pulling things out of the fridge and cupboards without a word, bare feet padding on the wooden floors. Not just things like the ramen Naruto normally eats for breakfast, if he has time to eat breakfast at all. Instead, there are things like rice and eggs, things that take time and effort to prepare. 

None of them are put away again. Rin glances towards him every few moments, but never to quietly regard him with some strange look, like Naruto half-expected. He would have done that if someone tried sneaking into his apartment before the sun was even fully in the sky. Instead, Rin smiles at him, like this is just some sort of pleasant surprise. 

His stomach grumbles as he sits there, waiting for the food to finish cooking. The smell is almost enough to make his mouth water by itself, but Naruto keeps sneaking glances towards the stove, elbows up on the table. 

Almost half an hour passes before Rin starts setting food on the table in front of him. A lot of food too, more than Naruto thinks the two of them could eat by themselves. Not that Rin seems to have the same idea. 

It feels almost exactly like Naruto used to imagine everyone else’s breakfasts were like. 

They both pause briefly when everything is laid out on the table, hands coming together before digging in. Naruto pauses after the first bite, surprised at the burst of flavour on his tongue. No wonder everyone always goes through all this effort. It tastes amazing. Not quite as good as ramen does, but still far better than he imagined it would. 

“You like it?” 

Naruto looks up from his plate, taken aback by Rin’s almost eager expression. “I - yeah, it’s awesome.” 

Rin leans back again, satisfied. “Thanks, Naruto-kun.” 

“It wasn’t-” Rin laughs at his awkward attempt to take the words back, and his shoulders slump. “Thanks for the food.” 

“Anytime.” 

Naruto is almost starting to think that Rin means it. 

The rest of the meal is almost silent, but only because Naruto doesn’t stop himself from shovelling as much food as possible into his mouth. It just doesn’t seem to end either. He catches Rin re-filling his plate once or twice, but he doesn’t seem nearly as concerned with eating everything on the table. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand when he’s absolutely certain he can’t put another bite into it, and leans back. Then he blinks. The table is almost entirely cleared of food. Yet, it had felt like he’d hardly made a dent in it all. Everything just kept on coming and coming, another thing to try or just eat more of in general. Naruto glances over at Rin’s plate, also empty, and opens his mouth. 

“So, what brings you over here this morning?” Rin asks, casually. 

Naruto closes his mouth again. He can’t quite remember what exactly he wanted to ask, the warm satisfaction of food making his head hazy. “I… don’t remember.” 

“You don’t remember?” 

“Ah, no? There was something. I think I wanted to ask you something?” Naruto shakes his head, frowning. “But it wasn’t the something that I wanted to ask you right now, either.” 

Rin breathes out a laugh. “So, what did you want to ask me right now then?” 

“I don’t remember that either!” 

Rin starts laughing in earnest now, his hand keeping his head from falling down on the table. 

Naruto stares. Every part of his body seems to have stopped moving entirely, so caught off guard that he doesn’t know how to react. This is the first time he’s heard Rin laugh. It has to be, because he’s almost entirely certain he’s never heard a sound like that come out of Rin before. 

They really do have to be related then. Because even though Naruto doesn’t know who his parents are, not even the slightest clue, he’s heard that laugh before, coming out of himself. It doesn’t quite sound the same, but it’s close enough. It’s close enough that he can recognize it. Everything about these last couple weeks just sort of solidifies, all at once. Rin is his cousin, and Rin is sitting across from him, after just making him breakfast for the first time. 

He has a family. 

After a moment, Rin notices Naruto staring and the laughter comes to an end. “Is something wrong, Naruto-kun?” 

“N-no,” he says, quickly. “I just remembered what my question was! The original one, I mean, not the second one.” 

“So, what is it then?” 

“I want you to teach me all of the super secret Uzumaki family jutsu!”

* * *

The thing about training with Shikamaru and Chōji is that both of them are annoyingly lazy. Ino doesn’t particularly like training herself, because afterwards she always ends up eating everything her mother puts in front of her at dinner and then some, but they’re still expected to be shinobi. 

Besides, she’s the one who is currently with Asuma-sensei, instead of off in the forest somewhere. All because Shikamaru probably wanted to take a nap and Chōji couldn’t tear himself away from a snack. 

“Do you know where they went?” Asuma-sensei asks, helplessly. 

“No,” she says. Then she stops and thinks about it for a moment. “Well, there is this one place I passed while I was doing my exercise. They might have stopped there.” 

“Great, new exercise. Find Shikamaru and Chōji, then you can sit back and laugh at them when they have to do five laps each around the training grounds. After we finish up everything else for the day.” 

There really can’t be a more appealing deal than that. 

Ino grins at her sensei, and then takes off without another word. There are dozens of things she could be doing after training, like finding Sakura and taunting her, just a little bit, or getting her hair trimmed. Watching Shikamaru and Chōji get in trouble for attempting to ditch training is far better than all of those things. 

The route through the forest of this particular training ground is familiar now, from weeks and weeks of training. Now that she thinks about it, those two have probably had this place canvassed out for a while now, just waiting for their opportunity to try skipping out of training entirely. She scoffs, easily swerving around a fallen branch. If they’d tried such a thing when all three of them were training with their parents, they would have gotten in trouble. 

She can almost picture Shikaku’s disappointed expression, or Chōza’s exasperated one as if they were right in front of her at this very moment. 

The trees become a bit more sparse, and Ino slows down. It was somewhere around here that she remembers seeing that spot. Just enough space between the trees that Shikamaru can see the clouds moving overhead, and just far enough away that it would take some effort to try and find them. 

Vearing off the path, Ino carefully looks around. For all that her teammates are the worst kind of slackers, they put a surprising amount of effort into actually attempting to get out of doing things. It wouldn’t surprise her whatsoever if they were just a bit further in this direction, off the path. 

“Hey, teme, watch this!” 

Ino freezes, even her breath going quiet. 

Maybe Shikamaru and Chōji aren’t in this direction after all. 

That sounded a lot like Naruto, though, and there’s always only been one person he calls teme. She swallows, and slowly starts to walk forward again. If Naruto and Sasuke are talking again, then that changes the entire game when it comes to dating Sasuke. 

Sasuke is always a bit more willing to talk to other people when him and Naruto are on good terms. But on the other hand, he really stops caring about anything other than what Naruto thinks. Ino will have to rethink her entire strategy, if that’s the case, and sticking to her diet and being as charming as possible really just won’t cut it. 

The trees start to clear a bit, and she quickly ducks behind one of the trees. Someone scoffs at something, more likely than not Sasuke himself at whatever Naruto has done. If she’s careful about this, then maybe she can do a bit of reconnaissance.

Even better than watching Shikamaru and Chōji be punished for their stupidity. 

Brilliant red is the first thing that catches her attention. Red, no duller a shade than the bright red geraniums they get into the shop sometimes, hanging over a man’s broad shoulders. Ino has never seen him before. She would remember the hair, if nothing else, and that’s strange in itself. Her father has pointed out almost every shinobi from Konoha when they used to spend Friday afternoons walking through streets and old paths alike. 

One of the most important parts about being a shinobi in Konoha is knowing Konoha from head to toe. Ino would never be able to find an infiltrator if she didn’t know every hidey hole and overlooked street. That is her father’s reasoning, at least. Whether or not she actually agrees is still up for question. 

Ino leans forward and waits for the man to turn towards her. 

This is really prime infiltration material. She couldn’t have asked for something more juicy to report back to the rest of her team if she’d thought to. 

“Sakura-chan,” Naruto drawls. Ino huffs out a laugh from her hiding spot. Of course Naruto’s pining after Sakura hasn’t changed since they were in the Academy. “Would you spar with me?” 

Sakura startles, drawing Ino’s eye towards her for the first time. She doesn’t look like she’s changed too much since they all graduated, and Ino ignores the warm satisfaction in her gut at the revelation. The same red dress clings to her skin, revealing her flat chest and non-existent hips. 

“Why me?” she asks Naruto, oblivious to the fact that she’s being watched. 

“Well, I’d ask the teme, but he didn’t even watch my awesome new move.” 

Sakura rolls her eyes, and turns back towards Hatake Kakashi, who stands there as clear as day. Her sensei, if what Ino remembers is correct. She had been a bit consumed with finding out who her own sensei was at the time. 

“Sakura-chan, c’mon! It’s not just because Sasuke was being a teme, I promise. I mean, that’s part of it, but sparring against you is different from sparring against him,” Naruto says, in a desperate attempt to try again. 

“How?” 

Naruto blinks. “What?” 

“How do we fight differently?” Sakura says, insistently. 

“Well, I don’t know how to explain it.” Naruto scratches the back of his head for a moment, thinking about it. “I guess if I had to, I’d say that you make me think about things? Sasuke-teme is stronger than you, but he’s really straight forward. It’s how I always catch him with that rope trick. You’re different.” 

“Fine.” 

Naruto brightens immediately. “Really?” 

“Wait a moment, you two,” the mystery man says, and Ino freezes in place as he looks over his shoulder, directly at her. They don’t make eye contact, but his blue eyes are still piercing, to the point where she might as well be frozen in place. “We have a spy on our hands. They’re probably just curious, but who knows?” 

“Hmm? I thought you hadn’t noticed, Rin-chan,” Hatake says. “Though, I think they’re more of a curious little bird, rather than an actual spy. Don’t you agree?” 

“Rin-chan?” the mystery man echoes, flatly. 

Rin is a name Ino has heard before. 

She frowns, trying to concentrate. The flower shop is really a great spot for picking up on local news, but she doesn’t quite think she heard it there. Maybe back at home, one of the less classified names her father sneaks into the conversation when he thinks she isn’t paying enough attention. 

“Why doesn’t the little bird come out to play, instead of hiding in the bushes? We should all be friends here,” Hatake continues. 

Naruto attempts to peer through the foliage. “Yeah, they should come out!” 

Ino slowly takes a step backwards. It shouldn’t be a big deal if they find her here. They’re just other genin, not a group of jounin or worse, someone from out of the village. She still doesn’t want them to see her here. 

It will only be a few minutes before Naruto starts searching through the trees for her now, whether or not he knows he’s looking for her. Ino turns. Her foot comes down on a single twig, bad timing and coincidence all mixed together. But by the time Naruto thinks to look in her direction, she’s already taken off back towards the training ground where Asuma-sensei is waiting for her.

* * *

“I think they’re gone now, Naruto-kun,” Rin says, casually. 

Kakashi looks over at him, painfully amused. Their little spy, Yamanaka Ino, if he’s correct about the particular shade of blonde hair, is skilled, if not anything else. For a genin, that is. He almost missed the subtle hints she lefts behind, although she likely isn’t aware of that herself. 

It would be interesting to see how Sakura would react to that information. She’s mentioned Ino once or twice before, always in the terms of a rival. 

But there are more urgent things to worry about. Throwing Sakura further off her guard now, when she’s been acting off all week, would almost be dangerous. Kakashi still has no problems with keeping it in mind for a rainy day sometime. 

“Really?” Naruto whines. “I wanted to know who thought we were impressive enough to spy on.”

“Later. You’re still having a couple troubles with this taijutsu.”

Kakashi watches carefully, only a touch surprised when Naruto doesn’t deflate at being told no. Instead, he turns back towards Sakura, the same question from earlier already on the tip of his tongue. Sasuke twitches from where he’s attempting to ignore everyone. 

“Naruto.” 

Naruto turns towards him, head tilted as he frowns. “Kakashi-sensei, can’t I just practice this?” 

“Of course.” Kakashi waits for the relief to be visible on Naruto’s face, before adding. “But wouldn’t you prefer to see this style in action first? Your footing is horrible so far, but I have the feeling adding something else to the equation might make it more interesting.” 

“It’s already interesting. It’s my family’s taijutsu,” Naruto mutters. 

Normally, Kakashi would agree. Not on the account that it’s personally important to him, but the taijutsu style itself is just as interesting to him as it was last week, while he watched Rin pass his exam. Seeing it broken apart in small, learnable pieces gives him ample excuse to try and understand it, try and understand why it only vaguely reminds him of Kushina. And Kushina’s style of taijutsu was always captivating, at least if the expression on Minato’s face was ever anything to go by. 

Kakashi grimaces to himself, always grateful that no one else can see the expression. He needs to visit the Memorial Stone this evening, and pay his respects. 

What isn’t interesting about watching Rin teach Naruto is that the differences start out small. A foot in a slightly different position, or a hand slightly higher or lower than expected. At the very least, Naruto is still young enough that he absorbs all of the information without needing to re-teach the motions to his body. If it weren’t for Rin insisting on his presence here, Kakashi would have been on the complete opposite side of the village.

Rin smirks over at him, quickly picking up on what Kakashi is getting to. “You have something in mind, don’t you?”

“A spar. Me and you. Taijutsu only,” Kakashi agrees.

“Stakes or no?” 

Kakashi pretends to think about it for a long minute. “Loser covers the dinner bill for the next week.” 

That immediately catches the attention of all three of his students, their eager eyes focusing in on him and Rin. He should have known that the promise of food would be enough to interest them. Even Sakura, still attempting to keep track of a diet, shares a wide grin with Naruto and Sasuke. 

“You’re on.” 

They move over to the larger part of the clearing, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke arguing quietly amongst themselves as they follow behind. As if Kakashi didn’t already need a reason to take this more seriously than he would most spars. 

He’s seen how Rin fights, quick and deadly and entirely capable of coming at him sideways, right where he will least expect it. Kakashi watches him now, those blue eyes staring back. Then Kakashi pulls out a kunai, carefully weighing its balance in his hand. Nothing about it is off, but the kunai itself is more prop than anything else. Something to draw Rin’s gaze, just as it’s doing now. 

Kakashi shoots forwards, unsurprised when his punch is blocked. Taijutsu is Gai’s realm, not his own. 

Rin counters. The kick almost catches him, aimed at his knees, but Kakashi has seen this move before. Jumping back out of the way is simple, nothing more than child’s play. 

All they’re doing at this point is testing each other, attempting to see where the other’s boundaries lie. Still, Kakashi has already managed to judge a lot from those two hits. First, there is more familiar to Rin’s taijutsu than it appears from an outsider’s perspective. Second, Rin isn’t taking this anymore seriously than Kakashi had with that first hit. 

“Kakashi,” Sasuke calls out from the sidelines, “if you don’t win this, then you have to pay for dinner. For all of us. Do you know how much ramen Naruto eats every night?” 

There are usually no less than three bowls in front of Naruto at Ichiraku’s every night, quite often four or five instead. His wallet is going to start looking depressingly thin, if he loses this. 

“Wh-what the hell, teme!” Naruto shouts. 

“Just think about it, before you start reading that stupid book of yours.” 

Naruto makes an offended noise from the back of his throat. “Why does it matter to you if Kakashi-sensei wins or not? Someone’s going to be paying for your dinner, anyways!” 

“It just does.” 

Kakashi takes a moment to close his eyes, in one last ditch attempt to block out the sounds of his students. It doesn’t quite work. Closing his eyes almost makes their voices louder, actually, but it also focused him back in on what’s right in front of him. Rin, quietly suppressing a laugh, as he waits for Kakashi to make his next move. 

Then Kakashi opens his eyes to find Rin already moving towards him, no hesitation in the quick blows he delivers to his chest. kakashi has enough experience to take it in stride, cursing his own inattention. 

This is still a fight, regardless of whether his students are moments away from starting a fist fight amongst themselves. 

Going down without a fight isn’t an option. Kakashi jumps over the swipe of Rin’s leg, using the momentum to land over to his left. Rin follows, just as expected. The goal of all this is to make it look as impressive as possible, to spark the interest of three genin, who are largely still unconvinced that they should try out new styles of taijutsu. 

His arms stay nice and loose at his sides. The defensive is the best game to play with Rin, right up until his momentum falters. 

Rin comes after him now, with a barrage of attacks. Each kick is aimed at his knees, aimed to knock him down to the ground. Kakashi turns slightly each time, the impact absorbed mostly by his lower thighs. One, two, three, four, five, and then he jumps back again, taking a moment to look for weaknesses in Rin’s defense. 

They aren’t many. But Kakashi can see a spot along his left ribs that are less guarded than the rest of him, meaning that there must be some sort of old injury on the opposite side. Kakashi jumps back once more, this time landing on his hands, then his feet, before he charges forward, quickly picking up momentum. 

Rin drops down to the ground, and rather than hit something solid, Kakashi stumbles forwards a step or two, before regaining his bearings. 

A light snicker reminds him of Rin still standing behind him, and he spins around, using the momentum to kick Rin. The blow hits, but Rin’s already jumping back. 

On the defensive then, that’s more than Kakashi was expecting. 

Kakashi charges forward, just in time for Rin to jump upwards, grabbing onto the branch of a tree they’ve wandered close to. There’s no time to contemplate what happens next. All he sees is Rin quickly turn himself around as Kakashi passes by underneath, then there are thick, muscular thighs on his shoulders. 

Remembering to throw his weight backwards is only an afterthought. It doesn’t even work to throw Rin off, because Rin has already hooked his feet together on Kakashi’s chest. He can’t quite breathe, but he’s fairly certain that’s for a slightly different reason than it should be in this situation. 

Then Rin shifts his own weight backwards, Kakashi’s eyes widening as he stumbles backwards.

He almost catches his balance. 

His foot lands in a muddy spot, slipping beneath him and they both fall backwards to the ground. His vision goes hazy for a long moment, unaware of what’s going on around him. 

When Kakashi opens his eyes again, it’s to find himself on the ground with Sakura peering down at him, her hair falling around her face. His shoulders feel awkwardly cold in the aftermath of what just happened. Maybe he can pretend this never happened at all. It would be better than acknowledging that he lost the spar he’d suggested himself, at least partially because he slipped in a pile of mud. 

“Really, Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura asks, sounding vaguely disappointed. “Aren’t you the one who always tells us to pay attention to our surroundings during a fight?” 

Kakashi groans and squeezes his eyes shut.

The world can wait for another day.


	9. the journey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“She knew how to put one foot in front of the other even when they hurt. And she knew there was pain in the journey, but there was also great beauty.”_ -Veronica Rossi, _Under the Never Sky_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this took so long. Very, very sorry.

Rin wakes up to the sound of someone going through his house. 

He turns over immediately to look at the clock by his bedside table, and then collapses back onto his pillow. None of his perimeter seals are registering an intruder, which only leaves one possibility as to who it could be. Naruto should be more than capable of waiting the five minutes it will take him to pull himself out of bed. 

A loud crash echoes through the top floor. Rin squeezes his eyes shut again, willing something to go away in the following silence. That sounded like one of the pots in the kitchen. 

Waiting doesn’t seem to be an option anymore. 

Rin slowly opens his eyes and pushes himself up out of bed. Pausing briefly to tug on a shirt, he goes out into the main room. 

At first, Naruto doesn’t notice him. It would almost be more surprising if he had, because his head is deep in the cupboard beneath the sink. Rin pauses at the sight. He had been preparing himself for a lot of possibilities in the few moments between his bedroom and the kitchen, but none of them had been even remotely like this. 

His footsteps are silent on the wood floors, careful not to startle Naruto out from beneath the sink. There’s a backpack on the living room floor, open and mostly filled with what looks like clothes and scrolls and other things, but mostly abandoned. Rin glances between the backpack and the kitchen, contemplating. There shouldn’t even be anything other than some dish soap beneath the kitchen sink. 

Rin stops once he gets close enough to see. “I didn’t think you had any interest in learning how to plumb, Naruto-kun.” 

Naruto freezes. 

“Unless there’s another reason you’re checking out the kitchen sink?” 

“This - this isn’t because of me!” Naruto flails, quickly pushing himself up out from beneath the sink. “There was this butterfly, only it wasn’t a butterfly, because even I know that butterflies aren’t made of paper. But paper isn’t supposed to fly around like that either!” 

“Paper?” Rin asks, absentmindedly. 

Naruto nods and glances back towards the cupboard sink, suspicious. 

“There shouldn’t be-” The words die in the back of Rin’s throat as he leans down to see the paper butterfly resting on the back wall of the cupboard. “Just wait a moment, okay?” 

“Why would I do that? I want to see what it’s going to do too!” 

Rin doesn’t get the opportunity to say no, not when the butterfly moves away from the wall and towards him. It lands in his hands, and then slowly unfurls, revealing the message scrawled inside it. 

His stomach drops as he reads it, too caught up in the message itself to notice Naruto attempting to look over his shoulder. Not good is about the only way for him to describe it. For the time being, Rin is stuck within the walls of Konoha, unable to change things, unable to do anything that really helps. His jaw tightens at the thought, consuming and venomous. This still isn’t enough. 

“Hey!” 

Rin looks up sharply, just in time to feel the heat curl around his fingers. The slip of paper quickly drops to the floor as he turns on the cold water and shoves his hand beneath the tap. Relief instantaneously travels from his fingertips, up his arms, separate from the paper on the floor, now entirely burst into flames. 

“That… wasn’t my fault,” Naruto says, slowly. “That definitely wasn’t my fault!” 

Rin sighs. “I know.” 

“You know?” 

He nods and turns off the water, staring down at the still-smoldering ashes. “I should have read it faster. I knew it was going to do something like that.” 

Naruto pauses. “Someone sent you a note that catches on fire on purpose?” 

“My friend thinks it’s hilarious.” 

“You have _friends_?”

Laughing, Rin nods. Friend likely isn’t the word Rin should use in this context, not given who the sender of the message had been, but it simplifies things. 

It’s easier for him to think of the sender as a friend than anything else, as well. 

The last of the flames die out after a moment, the residual chakra left in the paper depleted now that it’s served its purpose. All that’s left behind is a pile of ashes, hiding the message from anyone else. Rin turns off the water after a moment and stares down at the pile, already struggling to recall the exact wording of the message. It had been direct, but that didn’t always mean there wasn’t something else to it.

“One or two. Though I don’t know if they’d agree with the title,” he says, pushing away the heavier thoughts for the moment. “Now, what were you doing out here before the paper showed up?” 

Naruto brightens immediately at the reminder. “You were looking through boring things at the library all day yesterday, so I didn’t get the chance to tell you. We have our first official C-Rank mission this morning! We’re going all the way to Wave with some old man to protect him from bandits.” 

“To Wave?” 

The world shifts beneath his feet.

“Yeah, Sakura-chan said it’s by the coast. All we gotta do is make sure he gets home safe though,” Naruto continues on, oblivious. “It doesn’t actually sound too exciting, but at least we aren’t gardening. Again. And now we get to prove how awesome we are to some old man too, because he thinks we can’t handle it.” 

“No.” 

Rin regrets the simple word the moment it comes out of his mouth. 

It’s like shutters have come down on Naruto’s eyes, nowhere near as bright as they’d been moments before. 

“No?” Naruto repeats, faintly. 

Naruto is more competent than Rin had been at this age. Or maybe he isn’t, because Rin has only taught him a few things, because he thought they had a bit more time before time started moving again. He still doesn’t know how to walk up trees yet. 

Rin attempts to swallow back his fears. He survived through this exact thing so many years ago, with no experience in a fight, with the belief that his sensei had died. Yet, he can still remember Haku and Zabuza, dead on that bridge as snow softly fell around them in one last act of belief in each other. He can remember being angry, furious at the way they’d been treated by their own village. 

But Naruto looks so young, staring up at him with the same wide, blue eyes that stare back at Rin in the mirror. He also looks like Rin just attempted to throw away everything that’s important to him.

“Naruto-kun-” 

“So, you don’t think I’m strong enough either?” Naruto asks, pulling himself up to his full height.

His full height is still almost half a meter shorter than Rin. 

“That’s not it.” Naruto’s expression doesn’t waver at the words, his mind already made up. “It’s just - I know people’s first C-Rank missions always have a tendency of going wrong.” 

“Well, mine won’t! Me and Sasuke and Sakura-chan are awesome enough that we’ll stop everything from going wrong!” 

Naruto turns on his heel, not giving Rin the chance to respond. 

Only when Naruto reaches for his backpack does Rin startle into motion, almost running towards the balcony with long strides. They aren’t long enough to stop Naruto from jumping off the railing. For a moment, all Rin can see is his orange jumpsuit, a wave of memories halting his progress.

“Naruto-kun!” he shouts, grip tight on the railing. Naruto pauses, staring down the street. “Good luck. And - remember that nothing is as black and white as you think it is!” 

Naruto turns, a blinding grin shooting up at Rin. “Thanks! I’ll bring you back something from Wave.” 

Then he’s gone, leaving Rin alone in his house. 

Alone to contemplate what exactly is going to happen these next few weeks. Rin holds back a strangled laugh, everything feeling fragile and uncertain. 

He doesn’t remember what he planned to do in this situation anymore. Probably follow all of them to Wave, try to convince Zabuza and Haku to leave the country with promises of betrayal waiting for them with Gatō. It would be the first time he used that as a plan, left things open to see how people would react. 

Following them now would make things worse. Rin grimaces at the thought, slowly turning around as Naruto goes around the corner. Following them would gain the suspicion of the Hokage. Following them would ruin the little bit of trust Naruto has in him, if the tortured expression he showed at Rin trying to say no is anything to go by. His fists clench and then unclench again. 

Staying in the village will be one of the most difficult things he’s ever done.

* * *

Escort missions are boring. Almost more boring than being forced to do yard work or walk people’s dogs or search for that one cat that always manages to escape. The same one that always manages to hurt Naruto too. Sasuke scowls as he continues scanning their surroundings.

Nothing seems to be out of place. 

Nothing is supposed to be out of place, but in a way, they are. Nobody has said a single word for nearly half an hour, saving for the old man’s muttered complaints about their speed. That shouldn’t bother him. The world is meant to be more at peace when Naruto isn’t yammering away in his ear about this or that. His fingers twitch and he pulls his shoulders back. Better things stay the way they are in that regard. 

At least when they’re going grunt work that more experienced shinobi don’t touch, Sasuke can take amusement in Naruto inevitably screwing everything up. 

When something goes wrong now, they have no choice but to be on guard. 

“Sakura-chan.”

Sasuke’s scowl grows at the sound of the staged whisper from behind him. 

“ _Saaaaaaaaaaa_ kura-chan,” Naruto tries again. 

Sakura doesn’t react.

“Sakura-chan, I know you can hear me!” 

His jaw clenches, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands. “Shut up, dobe! We don’t have time to entertain a coward like you.” 

Sasuke doesn’t need to look back in order to know that Naruto’s face has crumbled. His disbelief at the way Naruto hesitated yesterday is almost seared into his head, as brief as it had been. Only him and Sakura had the enemies already restrained by the time he pulled himself out of his head, like the idiot he is.

All of that doesn’t take away from the fact that Naruto has been acting strangely since they left Konoha. The others haven’t picked up on it. They wouldn’t, not when Naruto always waits until he thinks no one else is watching to let his smile fade, not when they can’t tell the difference between forced and real laughter. Naruto has never made those things simple to notice. If Sasuke hadn’t spent so much time searching for them, then he certainly wouldn’t have noticed either. 

Knowing these things now almost feels like a waste, right up until he looks back at Naruto. It isn’t anything more than a subtle glance, one that makes his stomach turn and twist, but Naruto still manages to get to him. 

Perhaps that will always be the case. 

Naruto is looking through the surrounding forest, looking just as bored as Sasuke feels. There really isn’t anything interesting to turn their attention to, though, not in the middle of the forest, away from most everyone. If there’s really people after Tazuna, than they couldn’t have spent money on anything more than the lackeys they already came across. 

Sakura slumps her shoulders from beside him. “What’s wrong, Naruto-kun?” 

“Nothing,” Naruto mutters. Sasuke follows his gaze through the trees, frowning when he comes up with nothing. “I just wanted to ask you something.” 

Sakura exhales heavily. “Act more like Sasuke-kun, would you? If he had a question for me, he’d just ask.” 

Something’s off.

Sasuke already has the cool metal in his grasp when Naruto’s kunai flies through the air, landing with the thunk of a tree trunk. Like it or not, Naruto has always had the best instinct for danger Sasuke has ever come across. 

The momentary adrenaline fades from his system as he gets a look at the bushes. Nothing more than a white rabbit sits there, staring up at Naruto with fear in its eyes. Sasuke takes a second look and tenses again. This isn’t the climate nor the season for white rabbits to be wandering through the area. Meaning it had to have come from somewhere, somewhere that isn’t through natural means. 

“Get down!” 

His training kicks in immediately, his hand shooting out to make certain that Tazuna and Sakura follow through with the command as well. A high-pitched squeal above their heads follows seconds later. Then a heavy bang echoes along the well-walked path, loud enough to make his ears vibrate. Silence is left in its wake, and Sasuke waits a heartbeat before lifting his head, counting injuries. 

Through some sort of miracle, there are none. 

Not even Tazuna, as shaken as he seems. 

Only there’s a sword, almost as tall and wide as Sasuke is himself, embedded into a tree. Not the sort of sword that a shinobi wields for subtlety, which means that whoever is after them now has the skill not to rely on it. Even smaller swords can get difficult to carry after a while. Sasuke had always enjoyed the feeling of them in his hands during his time in the Academy, enjoyed the way his body moved with it. 

That is not the type of sword nor power that they’re faced with here. Sasuke swallows, his grip tightening as a man drops down onto the beastly thing. This new shinobi acts as if balance is only a suggest, rather than a law of nature, staring down at them over the edge of his nose. 

Getting out of this will be far more difficult than the Hokage must have been thinking, all the way back in Konoha. Sasuke inhales, forcing his limbs to loosen, like he’d seen with Kakashi and Rin, back during training. 

They can’t back down now, at any rate. And if nothing else, he can use this to learn how to fight better, faster and stronger and more strategically. He can use this as practice in his eventual fight against Itachi, regardless of how many years he has until that day will come to pass. 

Then comes the killing intent. 

Sasuke has heard about it before. He’s experienced it before, back in his family’s compound, back before the days where he walked through the streets alone, ate alone, trained alone, lived alone. 

Back then, he barely stopped moving, before collapsing to the floor with nightmares tormenting his mind. 

This time is different. Sasuke can feel his heart rate increase, the rush of blood through his veins, each inhale and exhale a struggle. His limbs won’t move, regardless of what he tells them to do. All he can do is crouch there with the stark realization that he is going to die. 

“What a shame,” the man drawls through the thick strips of cloth covering his face. “I was hoping you’d all die, so I could leave and forget about this mess of a country.” 

Someone is moving behind him. 

The faint rustle of one step, then two. 

Sasuke still can’t move by the time a familiar orange jumpsuit comes into his line of sight, his breathing stopping entirely. Naruto needs to get back. He needs to stop being such an idiot, because Sasuke won’t be able to survive seeing him get killed right in front of him. 

“It’s not going to be that easy to beat me!” Naruto proclaims. 

Kakashi inhales sharply from further up the path. “Naruto-kun.” 

“You won’t beat me.” 

The words are said with such a conviction that Sasuke almost laughs, even in this situation. Only Naruto would think it a challenge when coming up against killing intent like this. The fight yesterday is probably only making things worse, because of that stupid vow Naruto made to himself. 

Somehow, the realization is more comforting than terrifying.

* * *

Zabuza snorts, staring down at the five feet of terrifying orange. “You’re a weird one. Figures the Copycat would have weird genin.” 

“Naruto-kun, remember the mission.” Hatake is almost close to begging, refusing to meet Zabuza’s eyes. “He might not be our only opponent.”

Naruto, quite possibly the least subtle of the three genin, hesitates for a heartbeat. It would be a real kicker right about now if Zabuza had proper backup on this stupid mission, but all he has is Haku, just in case things go sideways. Given that he’s up against one of Konoha’s best and brightest, sideways might be more like upside down and hanging from a tree with trip wire. 

Then again, Zabuza is never going to go down without a proper fight, screw what everyone else thinks. The least he can do is take down Hatake Kakashi on his way. It would almost be a prize for a life well-lived. 

“You recognize me, don’t you, Hatake?” he asks, mocking. 

“Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of Kirigakure. Nickname earned through the massacre of an entire class of genin at the age of nine, and one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist.” Hatake pauses meaningfully, danger lurking beneath his derisive tone. “I have read a bingo book before.” 

Zabuza knows more than enough to realize the way Hatake reaches for his hitai-ate is important. It won’t be like coming across an Uchiha. That has only happened to Zabuza once or twice in the past, both times terrifying as fuck. Both times he had come out on top, smirk wide across his face. 

That smirk starts to form now, beneath the thin layer of protection over his face. 

“I’m honoured, Copycat-san,” he mocks, hands already moving at breakneck speeds. “It’ll be a pleasure to see your end.” 

Mist floods the forest, cold and thick enough for them to be blind in it. Konoha shinobi know nothing about surviving in a village surrounded by mist, where half the fucking time, the only time someone can tell their ass from someone else’s is through their chakra. Hatake has the Sharingan, but he is also a Konoha shinobi, limited by what he can see directly. 

Fighting is almost more of a challenge than he expected it to be. Had this been a one-on-one fight between himself and Hatake, things might come out differently. Hatake wouldn’t be terrified to pull out all of the stops, at any rate, without some shitty bridge builder to protect. The genin, those Zabuza can understand, because terrible as they might be, he can see the hints of potential in them. Tempered with a bit of heat, and he might just have had some worthwhile opponents in the future. 

Might is the key word in that sentence. 

Likely to throw themselves into the biggest shit show of a fight they can find is something else he can likely attribute to them. At least, Uzumaki Naruto and the last Uchiha. The girl sits and waits, and clearly hates herself for both of those facts. 

Losing hits him so suddenly that it’s only in the aftermath of a dragon of water heading directly for him does he signal to Haku.

Then the world goes blissfully dark.


	10. its shadow on earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Our imagination flies - we are its shadow on the earth.”_ -Vladimir Nabokov

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, what's this? Am I posting a new chapter only two weeks after the last one? It hasn't been upwards of a month? Weird. But here it is.
> 
> Also, many of thanks to all the people who have given kudos, subscribed, and/or commented. You're all the best <3

The forest is quieter than usual, even given the hour. 

They haven’t been in Wave for long, but Haku took notice of usual patterns and the such almost immediately after they arrived. Patterns, of nature and otherwise, are an important component of their lives. Keeping track of such things himself is simply part of being useful to Zabuza. 

Quiet like this, unusual as it is, makes him want to linger in the forest for as long as possible. Haku sighs, kneeling down to look at a patch of flowers. This is the first time this week that he’s been able to leave the compound at all. Zabuza didn’t fall asleep until late last night, having insisted on drinking now that he’s mostly recovered. Watching him curse Gatō’s name for making them stay and fight the Konoha nin is vaguely amusing, at least. 

Usually, things aren’t such a pretty sight when someone attempts to change their terms at the last moment, but they need the money to get back to Kiri. Tensions have been high lately, and if there’s a chance to fit into the new hierarchy, they need to take it. It isn’t a big chance, but if the rumours about Terumī Mei are right, it’s there. Revolt has been on everyone’s tongues in recent months. Besides, Haku thinks, smiling to himself, Zabuza isn’t nearly as good at hiding his desire to help as he likes to think. 

But for the moment, a drinking Zabuza means a Zabuza who won’t be awake until noon, a Zabuza who won’t miss Haku’s presence. That makes this the perfect time to collect herbs for the salve he’s been putting on Zabuza’s wounds. Just another way his mentor wouldn’t be able to survive without him. 

Haku scans the area for the flowers he needs, stopping on a patch across the clearing. 

That explains the quiet, at any rate.

One of the shinobi Zabuza went up against is asleep there. He’s the blond one who demanded to know who he is. Haku slowly rises back up to his feet. The most important question is what the shinobi is doing here now, fast asleep in the grass. He steps closer, unable to help himself. 

When they were just coming out of a fight, it hadn’t been so obvious how young this shinobi is. There may only be a year separating them in terms of age, but there are no lines in the corners of his eyes, no frown as he sleeps. Those are the ways in which youth counts. Knowing this Konoha shinobi has the luxury to be young is oddly gratifying, in its own way. 

Haku grew up fast due to necessity. So had Zabuza, if his stories are about the old way of doing things is as genuine as Haku believes. Many people they’ve come across say Kiri is one of the worst villages for that, but it’s different to see it laid out in front of him. 

The shinobi twitches, and Haku stills, watching. The chances of him being recognized are slim, but possible. He took the usual precautions, after all, and these two situations are not similar enough for an untrained eye to make the connection of his identity. Haku learned this type of subterfuge for a reason, even if Zabuza doesn’t practice it himself. 

Except that shouldn’t matter. 

Except Haku should kill this boy before he becomes a problem in the future. 

He watched the fight between the Konoha nin and Zabuza. It was more difficult for Zabuza to win than in any other fight Haku has seen him take part in. If he gets rid of this shinobi now, it will splinter the rest of the team, before they even have the chance to start their counter-attack. Then they can leave bother Gatō and this broken country as soon as possible. It would be easy. Most of their enemies aren’t found sleeping in a forest. 

All Haku has to do is wrap his fingers around the boy’s neck and squeeze. It might take a couple minutes, and the boy would likely struggle at first, but the abruptness of it all will likely offset that. Most of it, it will be relatively painless for both of them. Haku has seen much worse ways to die, has done it himself. 

Things are supposed to be easier this way.

The shinobi blearily opens his eyes, his gaze fixating on Haku almost immediately. Sleepiness quickly fades from those bright blue eyes, but as soon as it does, the shinobi’s cheeks start to flush an awkward red.

“Good morning, shinobi-san,” Haku says, with a small smile. “You shouldn’t sleep in a place like this, you’ll catch a cold.” 

A million more ways he can kill this boy flood his mind, as the shinobi stares up at Haku, utterly oblivious to the danger he’s in. There are senbon needles lined in the hems of his clothes, if he doesn’t feel like dealing with strangling him. Or there are half a dozen pressure points that Haku could jab his fingers into. The handle from his basket could even be torn off and used as a noose. Zabuza would be proud of him for it. 

The shinobi quickly sits up, adapting to the situation as easily as breathing. 

“Who are you?” the shinobi asks, misplaced awe bleeding into his voice. 

“Haku. And who might you be?” 

A grin, wide and undeterred by constraints like pain, spreads across the boy’s face. “Uzumaki Naruto! Remember it, because one day, I’m going to be the Hokage!” 

Haku feels himself relaxing, regardless of the enemy shinobi awake in the grass next to him. He’s killed people before, both young and old, but he can’t kill Naruto. It isn’t that Naruto is too innocent or that Haku can only bring the final blow to someone on the battlefield. Zabuza has trained him better than that. There is just something about Naruto’s blind trust in him. 

It makes him have hope for the future. If a shinobi can put their trust in a complete stranger, then maybe the future will be a kinder place. Maybe that future can include people like him and Zabuza. 

The conversation carries on when Haku asks about how Naruto plans to become Hokage, half expecting him to take off in a matter of minutes. That is the natural conclusion. Being away from Zabuza for too long always bothers him, and Haku knows Naruto has teammates, who are likely worrying about him. 

Instead, Naruto sticks around. 

All Haku needs to do is mention his sick friend for Naruto to offer to help him pick the herbs he needs. He feels his posture relaxing as they both start picking through the patches of flowers, despite knowing he shouldn’t. What he should do is finish off this flower patch, then leave. The longer they stick together, the higher the chance that Naruto realizes who he is. But one patch turns into two, then three. 

Somewhere around the second patch, Naruto turns quiet. It feels like a natural enough turn in the conversation that Haku dismisses it at first. Then he glances up and sees Naruto’s mouth turned downwards, his eyebrows pinched together as he closely examines one of the flowers. 

“Is something wrong, Uzumaki-san?” Haku asks, despite himself.

Naruto pauses, then shakes his head. “It isn’t important.” 

“Are you certain? For something that isn’t important, you seem to be thinking an awful lot about it.” 

Naruto abandons the flowers to breathe in deeply, leaning back to stare up at the pieces of sky hidden between the branches. “I dunno. My cousin is weird. He didn’t want me to come on this mission, but then he told me good luck, and I don’t know! Then there’s the teme, who is acting like an even bigger teme than usual.” He huffs loudly, then falls the small distance to the ground. 

A laugh escapes from Haku before he can help himself. Naruto turns his pout from the sky over to him, but it doesn’t have the intended effect when Haku softens further. A reaction like this is far too similar to the way Zabuza acted when Haku when on a solo mission for the first time. It had been an assassination contract, one where Zabuza’s complete lack of subtlety would have ruined everything. If they hadn’t needed money so badly, Zabuza almost certainly would have turned it down.

All Zabuza had one for days was fret in his usual, gruff manner, snapping far more than usual and critiquing every measure of preparation Haku made. Things had been tense between them, right before Zabuza sent him off with a gruff good luck and a ruffle of his hair. 

“It isn’t funny! I’m more than strong enough to handle a few enemies all by myself. And, ah, this mission is actually a lot harder than it’s supposed to be, but I can still do it!” Naruto protests. 

Haku’s laughter slows, and he smiles over at Naruto. “It sounds as if they care about you a lot.” 

“No way! If they cared, then they wouldn’t do any of that.” 

“Are you sure?” Haku says, gently. “My important person worries about me getting hurt, even if he knows I can handle myself. Perhaps, what they’re worried about isn’t what you’ll do, but what everyone else around you will do.” 

“But - ugh.” Naruto exhales loudly, turning his scowl back up towards the sky. “I didn’t ask them to be worried about me.” 

“I don’t think anyone does.” 

Haku carefully uproots a couple more herbs as Naruto falls silent, placing them in his basket with the others. There are some things in the world that people have to work out for themselves. 

“Does that mean they’re my important people?” Naruto asks after a while, his voice soft.

“I think it does.” 

Naruto stays like that for a few more minutes. There is no way to tell what exactly is going through his mind, so Haku considers a couple extra herbs he found out here. One of the teas he makes sometimes uses them. The tea is for taking away pain, but it also tends to cloud the mind while it’s in effect. 

Whether or not he wants to take a risk like that in a building full of Gatō’s men has yet to be seen. They’ve mostly left the two of them alone in the few days since the altercation, but something about the entire situation just doesn’t sit right with Haku. But if it were for Zabuza, then maybe this would be the best decision. It might work, so long as Haku makes certain to be there with him the entire time. 

“I don’t really understand him,” Naruto admits, abruptly. 

Haku glances up. “Your cousin or the… teme?” 

“My cousin. Sasuke’s just emotionally constipated, you know? He’s always been like this.” Naruto snickers to himself, some sort of private joke clearly going through his mind. “But Rin just showed up out of nowhere about a month ago. I guess he has friends outside of the village, but he’s still around.”

“His name is Uzumaki Rin, then?”

“Uzumaki Rin from who knows where,” Naruto mutters, not quite bitter, then he frowns. “Do you know him or something?” 

“I thought I recognized the name, that’s all. There’s no need to worry yourself, Uzumaki-san.”

“Oh, okay.” 

“Anyways, I should get back to my friend, before he wakes up and realizes I’m not around.” Haku stands, throwing caution to the wind with how abrupt he is and ignoring the confused look Naruto gives him. Nothing would thank him for the time he’s spent talking to the enemy, but he hesitates now, something stopping him from fleeing. “I’m certain your cousin and teme consider you to be one of his important people as well, just as my friend is mine.” 

Naruto hesitates and then nods firmly, pushing himself back up. “I don’t know, but I’ll definitely think about it. I hope your friend gets better soon, Haku-chan!” 

“Thanks, but I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Haku holds back a laugh as he turns around and starts back towards the compound, unable to resist from pausing and calling over his shoulder, “By the way, I’m a boy, Uzumaki-san!” 

A confused exclamation echoes throughout the clearing, even as Haku keeps walking forwards. Naruto keeps mentioning someone named Sakura, and he can only guess who she is. Hopefully, she isn’t the kunoichi on his team. There is only so much he can stand knowing about the group of them. He allows himself a small smile though, appreciative of just how naive Naruto is. 

By the time he gets to Gatō’s base, the smile has faded away entirely. Perhaps most people wouldn’t have made the offhand connection between Uzumaki Rin and Uzumaki Naruto, but he had. 

Haku hadn’t lied to Naruto, per say. He has never actually met Uzumaki Rin, and neither has Zabuza. They hadn’t had to meet him. Instead, they saw him fight, and that was enough, even from a distance. Fire played at the man’s fingertips, blown up to unimaginable heights with his natural wind affinity. His opponent hadn’t stood a chance. 

There’s still one thing he can remember more than anything else. Zabuza had grown quiet at the sight and called the man feral, said he recognized the way he held himself. After that, there had been destruction. The village was overcome by the scent of burning grassland, but also by their gratefulness at what was apparently the extermination of a local kidnapper. Him and Zabuza had still abandoned a job they hadn’t finished and without getting paid to leave the area. Yet, the rumours had done something strange to Zabuza.

Zabuza blinks through bleary eyes as Haku steps into the room. There must be something about the expression on his face, because he pulls himself upwards immediately. “Haku?” 

“We need to leave,” Haku says, quietly. “One of the genin you came up against is Uzumaki Rin-san’s cousin.”

“Shit.” Zabuza inhales deeply. “Shit. You thinking Uzumaki senior is going to come hunt us down if anything happens to his little cousin?” 

“I don’t know him well enough to know, but it sounds as if this genin is one of his precious people. Besides, the injustice of killing a bridge builder might be enough to grab his attention regardless.”

Zabuza nods, considering the situation. “Was starting to think we might not get paid, anyways. C’mon, the last thing we’re going to do is leave this place with a whimper.”

* * *

“You really just going to sit there all day?” 

Sakura looks up from the coast line in surprise. Tazuna has been set on ignoring her up until now, disregarding the moment when she first came around with Kakashi-sensei. 

Now, his gaze is focused in on her, a water bottle in one hand. If she didn’t know any better, she would say she was being interrogated by him for some reason. As if her guarding him from dangerous missing nin isn’t enough right now. Someone has to keep guard, at any rate.

“Is there something else you would like me to do?” she asks, cordial. 

Before, Sakura would have thrown a fuss about the question. But there’s something about what he’s doing here, about how he’s doing the absolute best for his village, that is a bit admirable, even without any other workers. She lets her legs start to sway back and forth, her gaze flickering back towards the shore. Nobody has burst out of the forest yet, not an ally or an enemy. 

“No, no,” Tazuna says, picking up another couple planks of wood and moving them over to the edge of the bridge. “Just seems like it isn’t fair that you have to sit here with an old man, while that teacher of yours and the other two train off in the forest.” 

“That’s just because I managed to finish the training before the other two.” 

“And? Sounded like all three of you have a long ways to go yet.” 

Sakura opens her mouth, and promptly closes it again, looking away from him. Some things don’t need to be discussed with clients, particularly not her own feelings. 

After a moment of staring, Tazuna snorts and goes back to working on the bridge again. Sakura looks back towards him once he does, but his attention seems to be entirely focused on the bridge, very purposely not on her. He couldn’t be much more adept at ignoring a person’s presence if he tried. 

Still, he does have a point there. Sakura doesn’t really want to think about it. Kakashi-sensei certainly could have had her start something else while the other two kept on doing what they were doing. Maybe she could have even helped them more. A bit of advice is only going to go so far, for all that watching Naruto and Sasuke fight over that advice helped her stand a little bit taller. 

Sakura straightens her back now, at the sight of someone running towards the bridge. She relaxes again after a moment, because that is certainly the fashion of civilians, not shinobi. The young man is huffing and puffing by the time he approaches them, raising a hand to get them to wait as he catches his breath. Even Tazuna has entirely stopped what he’s doing in anticipation of what is about to be said. 

Maybe some of the villagers have decided to help with the bridge again. 

“There - there’s a fire,” the man forces out. Both of them tense, then the man quickly shakes his head. “There’s a fire, but - it’s at Gatō’s.”

* * *

Rin turns on his heel. There are two pictures just to the left of the Hokage’s office door, but he doesn’t pay them any attention, except to turn at their farthest edge. 

Almost a week has gone by since Naruto left for Wave. The mission requirements, as described to him by the Hokage, dictate that the mission is meant to last approximately two weeks. All of that means that Team Seven should have run into Zabuza and Haku by now. Which exact day the confrontation happened in his time is gone from his memory, but it couldn’t have been after this point. 

He takes about ten, measured steps in the opposite direction, then turns once more. The need to keep moving is too strong to ignore. Even focusing his mind inwards to start collecting nature chakra is impossible.

Staying away from Wave is far more difficult than he thought it would be. The urge to just walk out the village gates bothers him every minute of every day, with only the look on Naruto’s face before he left holding him back. That expression will likely haunt his dreams for years to come, after knowing that he put that hurt there, even if he’s doing his best to erase that now. Hopefully, it will be enough. 

Not knowing what will happen, not for certain, makes everything far worse. Their training regime these past few weeks has certainly increased from what he remembers, but other things could have changed as well. His argument with Naruto might have had some effect on things, or it could be something else entirely. The longer Rin spends in this reality, the more he sees the effects. More so now, because before he had been so focused on other, bigger things, like dealing with the Akatsuki and Madara, that everything else faded away.

Naruto and the others could have been killed by Zabuza out right. Or perhaps Zabuza was killed by one of them, instead of by Gatō and his men. Perhaps Gatō decided to push a bit harder against the construction of the bridge. Then again, Zabuza and Haku might not even be in Wave at all.

Rin stops directly in front of the door with a groan, pulling his fingers through his hair. There are too many possibilities, far too many things to consider and it’s giving him a headache. Worrying about Naruto and everyone else is even time consuming enough that everything else has just been pushed off to the side, like finding out more about Madara at this point in time or tracking down ROOT. This meeting is almost a welcome distraction, at this point. 

The office door finally opens and a genin team files out, Kurenai following closely behind. Rin stares, his pacing coming to a more definite stop. Kiba is grinning over at Shino, wide and carefree. Just like he used to grin during their time together at the Academy, like being in the waiting room during the Chuunin Exams as they bickered about who knows what.

That grin is the exact opposite of Kiba during the war. Of the fractured smile he gave Hinata as he kneeled beside her, his nose twitching at the heavy scent of rust. Sakura had been on Hinata’s other side, hair covered in thick mud and hands shaking with chakra deprivation, as she delivered the bad news. 

Kiba continues down the hall without even glancing in his direction, Shino right behind him. Only Hinata curiously watches him for a moment, before she joins her teammates.

“Are you alright, Uzumaki-san? You look a bit pale.” 

Rin falters for a moment, before turning his attention to Kurenai. His grin doesn’t quite feel real on his face, nothing more than a farce. “I’m fine. I don’t think we’ve met before, though?”

“Kakashi has never mentioned me?” she asks, incredulous, before stopping and answering the question herself. “No, of course he hasn’t. Why would he think to mention his friends? I’m Yuuhi Kurenai.” 

“Uzumaki Rin, although it sounds like you already know that,” Rin says, with a small shrug. 

A small smile is offered to him before Kurenai moves on. “You were just promoted to jounin a couple weeks back, weren’t you? I figured I should let you know about the discount for jounin down at the bar on Thursday nights. Fair warning though, you’re not going to manage to get away from Gai challenging you to a drinking contest.” 

The offer is far more genuine than Rin ever expected. Not that he’s certain what he expected from her, other than perhaps more similar to Asuma’s calm evaluation of him or Gai’s joyous enthusiasm. The thought of going out and enjoying himself for a night, of talking to people instead of sitting in his empty apartment, is certainly appealing. 

Anything would be better than sitting around and waiting for Naruto to come back. Anything is better than being alone with his thoughts, as he thinks up different ways the reality around him could have changed since he lived through this. 

“Anyways, I should go. If I wait too long, my team will decide that food is more important than our mission this afternoon,” Kurenai says, her voice dry. “Have a good day, Uzumaki-san. It was nice to meet you.” 

“Heh, hurry while you can! Thirteen year olds really don’t hold back when food is on the line. I’ll hopefully see you next Thursday, though.” 

Her smile falters as she glances down the hallways. Her team has completely disappeared from sight in the few minutes that they’d been talking for. Kurenai sighs wearily and starts to follow after them, only stopping to wave over her shoulder before she disappears down the hall herself. 

Rin stands there and stares for a long moment. He should feel something more than this after talking with her. Meeting everyone else for the second time has stirred some sort of emotion in him, usually grief so thick he could choke on it. But from Kurenai, all Rin feels is the potential for a new friend and the relief makes something in his chest ease. The fewer intense reactions he has, the better, in his opinion. 

But just standing in the hall isn’t going to get him any information on Naruto’s situation in Wave. The office door is still open when he turns back towards it, and he goes inside and sits down with the Hokage’s steady gaze focused in on him. 

“I hope you take Kurenai up on her offer, Rin-san,” the Sandaime says, quietly. 

Rin leans forward, letting out a huff of laughter. “Eavesdropping, old man?” 

“I hardly think it counts as eavesdropping when the two of you are standing directly outside of my office.” The Hokage pauses, his eyes briefly falling shut as he takes a moment to compose himself. “However, I did not ask you here to talk about your social life.” 

“Is Team Seven okay?” 

The Hokage slowly opens his eyes again and frowns. “That is also not why I asked you here, Rin-san.” He stops as Rin clenches his jaw and then sighs softly. “A brief missive has informed us of a fight, but it seems that Kakashi bore the brunt of the damage while the genin are only a bit shaken. And determined to fight back, I’m certain, although Kakashi didn’t mention anything along those lines. They’ll be staying until a bridge has been constructed between Wave and the mainland.” 

Nothing has changed. 

Rin lets the relief pour over him, as he slumps back into the chair, tension draining from his shoulders. There hadn’t been some sort of ripple effect, at least not yet. If everything goes according to plan though, he will only have the luxury of knowledge for a little while longer. 

“Admittedly, I didn’t think you would be relieved at that,” the Hokage comments. 

Rin grins, the emotion not quite there. “Would you believed me if I said I imagined something worse?” 

“It seems I would.” 

“Kakashi will be okay though, won’t he?” 

“That is almost impossible to know for certain.” The Hokage purses his lips, barely hidden irritation flickering across his face before he sighs. “Out of all of Konoha’s jounin, Kakashi is perhaps the most likely to conceal serious injuries during a mission. However, our medical team is well-versed in the art of forcing him to receive the treatment he needs.” 

Rin inhales sharply, looking down at his lap with a grimace. The memories he has of Kakashi lying in a hospital bed are almost countless, but seeing it now makes his shoulders feel heavy, makes his thoughts race. Before the war, it always felt like Kakashi would survive, no matter what. 

Now, he knows differently. 

“That is not why I asked you to visit me here though, Uzumaki-san. I have a proposition for you.” 

It takes him a long moment to reorganize his thoughts and switch gears. Anything said in that tired tone needs to be properly paid attention to. Looking back up, Rin nods firmly. 

Regardless of the details, he needs to listen, at the very least. Particularly after the Hokage shifts his gaze to something behind Rin, and the soft click of the closing door echoes through the room. The Hokage intertwines his fingers in front of him, a folded mess in front of him as he takes a few moments to organize his thoughts. 

“ANBU would like to offer you a position among their ranks, based off of the report Gai gave following your little test in the Forest of Death. Had you been a graduate of Konoha’s Academy, I would have simply extended this offer to you,” the Sandaime begins. 

Rin nods, and the Hokage continues, “However, I find myself in a difficult position. Konoha is not as peaceful as it seems on the surface, and it has not been a peaceful place for longer than I care to admit. Some of that can be contributed to extenuating factors, as there is little I can do about bijuu attacks or jounin gone rogue. But the more I think on these issues, along with others, the less I feel I can attribute to coincidence. 

“Personally, I am incapable of investigating into these matters without upsetting the balance of the village. Not to mention that I fear my own bias in this situation, for there is not a person in Konoha that I don’t trust with my life. But as someone who comes from outside the village, you might be able to act more freely than I. So, I wish to extend a counteroffer to the one from ANBU.” 

“An offer that I would have to hide from people I care about,” Rin counters, frowning. 

The Hokage sighs. “I’m afraid so. Our arrangement would be doomed, otherwise.” 

“And the offer itself?” Rin asks, then continues, “I want to know exactly what I would be getting into.” 

“The opportunity to say no is still open to you, Uzumaki-san. You are a Konoha shinobi, and that means your input is as valued as any other of my shinobi’s, so long as I have that luxury.” 

Rin’s mouth sets into a frown, his back straightening as he looks the Hokage in the eye. “What happens when you don’t have that luxury anymore? If the choice came between me and keeping the hat?”

“I will deal with that the best that I can, if that situation comes around.” 

“Will you take care of Naruto properly if you can’t guarantee my safety? Will you tell Sasuke what really happened to his brother?” The Hokage’s expression freezes, but Rin isn’t done yet. He can’t be done, not with his hands squeezed into fists on his lap, barely capable of preventing himself from standing up and shouting in the Sandaime’s face. “Will you even take the information I give you into account? What if those same biases stop you from taking me seriously!” 

Silence echoes through the room as Rin finishes with a shout. 

The guard outside must have heard him, Rin realizes, grimacing. When he looks down and squeezes his eyes shut, all he can see is his own failure. A thousand ways he could have made his own reality, the one Obito took him from, better is laid out before him. And not all of it is things he could have done personally. 

If the Sandaime had never kept the potential Uchiha coup from everyone, Sasuke might not have been so hurt. Rin still doesn’t understand the extent of what that did to Sasuke, not outside of the understanding lent to him through the blows they exchanged. That is a deep understanding, but not one he can put into words. 

And then, there is Danzo. His fingernails dig into his palms as he thinks about just how much the man sitting across from him must have overlooked. Rin likely doesn’t even know the half of it, not when most of that information had been died alongside Danzo himself in his own time.

“Just what happened before you came back to this time?” Rin opens his eyes again, just in time to see the Hokage calmly lifting up his hand. “No, don’t tell me. I have no intention on changing my mind on that matter. Simply allow an old man his curiosities.” 

“Do I need to respond now?” Rin asks, quietly. 

“To my proposal? Of course not,” the Hokage says, any momentary lightheartedness fading, “this is not an easy thing to ask of you. Both I and ANBU would like an answer by the end of the week, however.” 

“Right.” 

Rin slowly stands, even without the direct dismissal, but the Hokage doesn’t protest. His walk home happens through a haze, different possibilities being considered and weighed. The only thing he does happen to notice is the complete lack of guards following him through the village.


	11. choose your life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Ten years from now, make sure you can say that you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it.”_ -Mandy Hale, _The Single Woman_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This definitely meant to go up by last Sunday. Unfortunately, I was out with the Plague for a week and so very little got accomplished because sick in the middle of midterms is the worst thing ever.
> 
> I also feel the overwhelming urge to apologize for this chapter but I really have no regrets. Just... yeah. This happened (and was partially planned for since the beginning but still).

Something about the village is different from the moment Naruto races back from the forest with Sasuke at his side. 

He notices the difference immediately. Not noticing would be difficult, given that one of the villagers greets him with a smile when just days ago they refused to meet his eyes. The pattern only continues from there all the way back to Tazuna’s home.

The real difference has to be when Naruto hears the ringing sound of children’s laughter. He is almost pushed to the ground by a group of childhood friends, thank yous on their lips once they see him and Sasuke. Different is almost too mild of a word for the change. Naruto still responds in kind though, grinning back at each person who greets them with a hello or a thank you. 

“What do you think happened?” Sasuke asks, as they reach the small path to Tazuna’s house.

Naruto blinks and looks over, his smile only growing. “It’s gotta be something to do with Gatō, right? Otherwise people wouldn’t be so happy.” 

“Maybe.” 

“What do you think it is then?” Naruto counters, stepping onto the small bridge. “Just this morning, everyone was terrified. And Kakashi-sensei was talking about how Zabuza probably didn’t die. And I don’t know about you, but even I was starting to get a bit worried!” 

“You were just starting to get worried?” 

The derision in Sasuke’s voice makes Naruto’s smile drop. “Of course! Don’t you remember how awesome we were last week?” 

“I remember you-” 

“Maa, if I say you’re both pretty, may I interrupt?” 

Both of them stop. 

Naruto turns and points at Kakashi-sensei automatically, his arm stretched as far as it will go. “No way!” 

His stomach sinks. Something about the way the corner of Kakashi-sensei’s eye crinkles makes it look like he’s almost smiling. That smile always brings them pain, normally in the form of extra training. Or standing around for hours as they wait for Kakashi-sensei to show up in the mornings. At least Sasuke has to suffer through all of that with him and Sakura. Out of all of them, he deserves it the most. 

“That’s too bad.” Kakashi-sensei tilts his head to the side, shifting his weight more fully onto his crutch. “I could have told you that Gatō is no longer a problem.” 

Sasuke straightens. “What?” 

“I thought you weren’t interested?” 

“That’s not-” 

“Of course we’re interested!” Naruto interrupts, indignantly. 

Kakashi’s gaze flickers between the two of them. “Really? Does Sasuke agree with you, Naruto-kun?” 

“He does!” 

Sasuke inhales sharply. This is the first time in nearly a year that Naruto has assumed exactly what is going through the teme’s head, but he doesn’t dare back down. The mission is more important than whatever hissy fit Sasuke wants to throw. People are depending on them to do their job.

“Ah, interesting.” Kakashi-sensei moves on without explaining, his expression unchanging. “Someone felt it necessary to burn down Gatō’s compound. Sakura found out from one of the villagers this morning.” 

“Burnt down?” Naruto asks, breathlessly. 

“From the inside, I believe.” 

“That doesn’t mean Gatō won’t be a problem anymore,” Sasuke points out with a frown. 

“No, it doesn’t. But his head on a pike just outside of the compound doors would prove a different story.” Kakashi-sensei waits as the shock sets in, both of their questions momentarily swept away. “We’ll search the compound tomorrow to make sure there isn’t another threat to the bridge. In the meantime, the villagers have graciously invited us to take part in their celebrations.”

Kakashi-sensei turns and goes back inside. Naruto follows behind him with Sasuke and his jaw drops in amazement when he’s greeted by Tazuna and Tsunami. Only Inari ducks his head down to hide a frown from the rest of them. 

The trend only continues when he wanders back out into the village after lunch. Even more people are out in the streets now, the energy so relieved that the music and laughter on every street corner adds more to it than the alcohol being passed around. Naruto has to steady himself when a young woman grabs him by the hands and spins him around, thank yous spilling out of her mouth. 

No one seems to care that they weren’t the ones to do anything. Naruto tries to explain that they had nothing to do with it in the beginning. Then an older man ruffles his hair and tells him ever so simply that whoever lit the fire wouldn’t have had the courage to without them there, amusement ringing through his voice. His arguments die sometime after that, right around when he’s dragged into the middle of the street to dance. 

Never before have people flocked around him like this. A giddiness grows in his gut, shows itself through the ache of his cheeks from smiling so much. His grin spreads with each turn and his cheeks quickly warm when someone leans down to kiss his cheek. 

What ends up making him pause is Sasuke watching him from a distance. At first, all Naruto sees is a glance of him over a married woman’s shoulder. He dismisses it quickly, but everytime he turns around after that moment, Sasuke is there. And to think Sasuke used to call him the obvious one.

Someone apologizes for bumping into him as he finally steps away to catch his breath, but his attention is elsewhere. Sasuke is determinedly pretending to watch something off in the distance, like the two of them didn’t make eye contact all of thirty seconds ago. 

“Oi, teme!” 

Sasuke clenches his jaw, his gaze unmoving. 

“Teme, I know you can hear me!” That gets next to no reaction from Sasuke, but a couple of the townspeople look over at him, vaguely amused. Naruto huffs and walks over, his head held up high. “I don’t get what your problem is, but you’re the one who keeps looking at me! Hey, stop ignoring me!” 

A frustrated groan escapes as Sasuke continues to ignore him. It might be somewhat less tolerable if there wasn’t a smirk on Sasuke’s face, one that is quickly wiped away as soon as Naruto notices it. Why all the girls from their year like a teme like him will always be a mystery to Naruto.

“What’s your problem, dobe?” Sasuke finally asks with an even voice. 

“My problem?” Naruto points directly at Sasuke, unwavering even as Sasuke calmly lifts an eyebrow. That expression makes him want to scream and shout. It never means anything good for the person it’s directed towards. “I’m not the one who keep sulking. Or staring!” 

“Hn.” 

“That’s it!” 

Sasuke frowns, briefly taken aback, but Naruto is not about to lose his advantage. 

Sasuke’s hands aren’t soft. Too many hours have been put into shuriken practice for that to be true. It doesn’t make Naruto loosen his grip on them as he marches back into the fray without a care. 

The laughing pat on the back the butcher gives him only makes Naruto more sure of his decision, despite Sasuke’s complaining from behind him. They stand in the middle of the street, Naruto’s hands gripping Sasuke’s tightly enough that it’s almost a competition between them. Who can squeeze the tightest without acknowledging that something is happening. A cheerful tune from the corner surrounds them, an obvious deviation from the tension between them. 

“One dance,” Naruto says. 

Sasuke scowls, and his shoulders automatically pull back. “I’m not doing this.”

“One dance.” Naruto’s mouth tightens into a straight line as he refuses to back down. The villagers are already moving around them, like they aren’t even there, but he didn’t survive being friends with Sasuke for years by giving into the teme. “Just one dance, and then you can go back to lurking in the shadows.” 

“Forget it-” 

Naruto starts to move before Sasuke can rip his hands away, lurching both of them into the flow of their surroundings. People are relieved and giddy and so many other things over Gatō’s death. Tearing himself away from that before the celebrations ended was always going to be impossible. 

Finding a rhythm between the two of them is easy though, has always been easy. It’s different from sparring, but not entirely. Neither of them have ever really learned how to dance. That doesn’t matter when they know how to push and pull, when they know how to copy what everyone else is doing around them. For a moment, Naruto forgets what they had fought about in the first place. 

Within a minute, Sasuke’s scowl starts to fade. Naruto grins and launches both of them into a quick spin, his laughter once more spilling out from all sides. 

Dancing with someone is far different from going from partner to partner. His attention focuses down to Sasuke and only Sasuke. Once, he thinks he sees Sakura standing to the side of the crowd, watching them, but when he looks back, she’s gone. It’s the only moment of the evening that he really thinks about her. Everything else is so caught up in Sasuke and the villagers and this intense feeling of relief, even after an older couple splits up him and Sasuke by extending an invitation to dance to both of them.

He doesn’t know where Sasuke ends up by the end of it. The man he’s dancing with has wrinkles in the corners of his eyes and a flush to his cheeks, but is smiling anyways, like he doesn’t quite know what to do about it. About as far from that guy Naruto met in the woods the other day as someone could possibly get. 

Naruto stills. “Hey, do you know someone named Haku?” 

“Haku?” The man blinks away some of the haze in his eyes, then frowns. “That’s a Kiri name, is it not?” 

“A Kiri name?” 

“Hmm, after some general in some war or something like that. Or it could have been from a local legend, I think. It’s a favourite of theirs.” 

“You don’t know anyone named Haku then,” Naruto says, his shoulders slumping. 

There had been something about that guy, other than how pretty he was. Even when he smiled, his eyes seemed sad, like it was easier to smile than admit how much pain he was in. It reminded Naruto far too much of looking at himself in the mirror. 

“Nobody in this country would name their child Haku.” The man’s frown turns suspicious, his voice barely audible above the sudden rise of music. “Everyone this side of the border knows there’s bad blood between Wave and Kiri.” 

“Heh, well, I’m not from this side of the border, so...” He lets the last word trail off purposely, beaming once the man rolls his eyes and lets the subject go.

Haku can’t be a local then. 

People always remember those they hate. Naruto knows that as intimately as he could know anything, years of being incapable of just fading into the background ingrained into him. It can’t be any different with someone who’s from a place that’s spoken of with such hatred by the locals. 

But that raises another question. Who exactly was Haku then?

* * *

Tazuna stares out at the completed bridge with a gruff warmth settled in his heart. Years of his life have been wrapped up in building it, between getting the permits and designing and actually building the damn thing. And now he’s watching the kids who made it all possible be the first ones to truly cross it. 

Well, it isn’t like they did much, outside of that first, terrible fight and unknowingly encouraging whichever bastard set fire to Gatō’s place. 

His jaw sets at the reminder. Tazuna never actually went out and saw the place for himself, at least not until a couple days ago. Two weeks have gone by since the whole thing transpired and it still looks closer to a massacre than a fire. Gatō’s rotting head mounted outside the compound walls helps that perception, but the burnt corpses throughout the building only adds to the uneasiness. 

Kids shouldn’t have to see shit like that. And yet these kids, trained to be deadlier than any person Tazuna has come across, hardly blink at it. They might as well live in an entirely different world from the rest of them. 

Conflating that world with the laughing child walking away from him will always be the biggest struggle. He can see it with Sasuke and the sullen manner with which the almost-teenager approaches most things. Even Sakura has the ability to calmly rationalize a situation to the point where Tazuna can only accept it with a lump in his throat. 

But Naruto came back from scoping out the compound with a grin on his face as he goaded Sasuke into responding to him, oblivious to Sakura’s sideways glances. Never before has he seen someone bounce back from a horrific sight like that one so easily. 

This last month has certainly been a learning experience all around. 

“Do you think they’re going to miss us?” 

Tazuna ruffles Inari’s hair. “You worried they’ll forget about you or something?” 

“No!” Inari tears himself away, far out of reach of any parental gestures. His frown only groans when Tazuna laughs, despite himself. “I guess they were kinda cool though. At least once they let me watch them train.”

“Oh?” 

“Yeah, Sasuke has this thing he can do with fire, like this!” Inari makes a wide arm gesture that’s likely meant to encapsulate the size of the flame. “But Naruto always makes these clones of himself. Not just one or two of them, but almost a hundred! I think he could probably do more than that, actually.”

Tazuna nods along. This is an explanation he’s heard multiple times over the past week or so, him and Tsunami both. It’s refreshing to hear Inari get so excited about something. Maybe with Gatō gone, he can finally move on with his life and not be so focused on everything that happened. 

“But they won’t forget us, will they?” 

“I don’t know, kid,” Tazuna says, hesitantly. “From the sound of things, they lead quite the busy lives. Sometimes, things get forgotten when the world throws a few curveballs at you.” 

Inari’s face falls, and Tazuna knows immediately that it was the wrong thing to say. To be forgotten now, with his father’s death still hanging over his head, would be devastating. Things might be more difficult to repair than he’d hoped. 

“I hope they remember us. I hope they come back and tell us stories about the amazing things they’ve done. But I can’t guarantee it,” he adds. 

“It could be a miracle,” Inari says, hardly above a whisper. 

“It could be.” Tazuna looks out at the bridge and the shinobi walking across it. The corners of his mouth involuntarily lift as Sasuke pulls Naruto into a headlock, one hand clearly placed over Naruto’s mouth as his arms flail in every direction. “It could be our own little miracle on our Miracle Bridge.”

* * *

“Hey, you’re back!” 

Kakashi hums in agreement, thoroughly ignoring the way Izumo glances behind him. An ungodly screech pierces through the air and while it probably came from Sakura, he isn’t entirely certain anymore. He isn’t entirely certainly of anything anymore. 

“I… just have a couple of questions, then you guys can head on in,” Izumo says hesitantly, tearing his gaze away from the genin team. Kakashi can almost hear him begging for Kotetsu to come along and save him. “How long were you out of the village for?” 

“A month.” 

Two days was more than enough. 

A week in and Kakashi had started coming up with ways to deal with the bodies. Whether he murdered them or they murdered each other. 

After a month, he has almost resigned himself to his fate. These three will be the death of him, and there is nothing he can do about it. He just has to wonder whether it will be a prank gone wrong or a stray kunai that takes him out. 

Izumo laughs awkwardly, shifting through the files in front of him. “It says here that your mission was only supposed to run for two weeks at most. Can you explain where you were the rest of that time?” 

“I could,” Kakashi says, as casually as he can manage. 

“Kakashi, please-” 

“Maa, do you really want to go through this right now?” 

“It’s not like I have a choice!” They stare at each other for a long moment, neither back down until Izumo huffs and consults his papers once more. “Can you at least say if you were working on the mission that entire time? You know Ibiki will get on my ass if I don’t fill out at least part of this paperwork.” 

“Maybe it was for the mission or maybe it-” 

A pointy elbow drives into his side, forcing the air out of his lungs. Kakashi can feel the three murderous stares focused in on the back of his head. It’s a pity their hero worship has worn off so quickly. 

Then again, the honeymoon period has been over for a long time now. All the more reason to push them harder during training in upcoming weeks. That will hopefully force the image of him collapsing out of their minds. Weakness is a dangerous thing to show around his team, regardless of how cute they are. 

The elbow increases its force, and Kakashi sighs. “Ah, yes, I remember now. Our mission was delayed due to extenuating circumstances. Wave’s economic strain should be fixed for the time being though, because of it.” 

“Right,” Izumo says, quickly. “Just… go on through. All four of you. The Hokage will probably want to talk to you about all of - that.”

Sasuke avoids eye contact with him as they go through the village gates like it’s his own personal mission. As if Kakashi can’t tell the difference between Sasuke’s elbows and Sakura’s by now. 

Their meeting with the Hokage is short and sweet, at least. The genin stop paying attention about five minutes in, their attention span shot by the days spent on the road. It finally ends with a resigned dismissal from the Hokage, and then his team is out of sight before he can say a word. Normally, Kakashi would be a least partially tempted to call them back to discuss training for the next week. 

Normally, they wouldn’t have been stuck in each other’s companies for quite so long. 

Kakashi starts to walk towards the outskirts of the village before he realizes what he’s doing. His own bed and a home-cooked meal sound better than anything right about now, better than dragging himself to the pub for a well-deserved drink, better than collapsing right where he stands. 

That is not what happens. What happens is that Kakashi stops himself at the sight of a somewhat familiar house, marked most obviously by the shock of red hair on the balcony. The person the hair belongs to is poured over some sort of scroll, features hidden from sight. Not that it matters. Kakashi already knows exactly who he is. 

If he knew what was right for him, he would turn around now before Rin looks up and sees him standing in the middle of the street. 

Before Kakashi can convince himself to do just that, he’s frozen into place by vivid blue eyes and a bright smile. Memories come rushing back all at once, memories that have no place bothering him now. 

For the life of himself, he can’t remember why he’s deviated from his usual routine now of all times. 

“Kakashi-kun!” Rin calls from the balcony. “You’re back!”

“Ah.” 

Rin’s laughter is light. If Kakashi didn’t know any better, he would say it almost sounds relieved. “Are you just going to stand there or what? I could make you tea or something.” 

“Hmm, that would depend on what type of tea you have, Rin-chan.” The faint red to Rin’s cheeks is almost visible from the ground, and Kakashi is caught between a rock and a hard place. This is uncharted territory, but if he leaves, he won’t be able to enjoy that moment of almost-offended shock. “You have to be bad at something.” 

“Hey!” 

“I’m only speaking the truth,” Kakashi says, amused. 

“Get up here now and I’ll show up just how good of a host I really am!” Rin stands up, his scroll falling to the ground. But he seems too preoccupied with other things to notice. Too preoccupied with Kakashi. “Don’t think that I can just let a challenge like that go!”

Kakashi hums, not committing to one thing or another. 

It makes Rin let out a loud noise of frustration, his gaze firmly focused on Kakashi. He likely just wants to know how the mission went, Kakashi tells himself. Having Naruto leave for a month, just weeks after Rin first arrived in the village, must have been difficult in a way. 

His feet still start to move. If nothing else, there will be a cup of tea and a wide smile in it for him. If nothing else, he can use this to distract from where he should have gone after being away from the village for an entire month.


	12. if you can understand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“People act according to the way they experience the world. If you can understand their experience, you can understand their behaviour.”_ -R. D. Laing, _The Politics of Experience_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys have been so great <3 Thank you for all the kudos and comments!

“Sakura!” 

Sakura pulls her pillow over her face and groans, holding back a steady stream of curses. It never matters how quietly she mutters them, her mother always manages to know exactly what she said. Then comes the lecture, regardless of how early in the morning it is.

“If you don’t get out of bed now, you’ll miss training!”

No, she won’t. 

Kakashi-sensei is never on time, not unless he guesses ahead of time that they’ll be late to training. Then he miraculously shows up at the exact moment they’re supposed to meet up and all three of them have to run a lap around the village. Except this last week he hasn’t been quite as late as he was before they went to Wave. 

That might be a good reason to roll out of bed now, actually. She hasn’t been talking to Naruto and Sasuke much lately, but they might just kill her if she’s the reason they have to do extra training. Just as she would do in return. 

“Sakura, you spend way too much time-” 

“I’m up, kaachan!”

Her alarm clock flashes with the time and then there’s no more holding back the curses. She must have forgotten to set her alarm last night, because it’s almost an hour later than she thought it was. 

She scrambles out of bed, nearly tripping over the blanket in the process. Her room quickly turns into a disaster zone in her attempt to find clean clothes. There hadn’t been enough time yesterday afternoon to do anything other than collapse onto her bed and immediately fall asleep. Her father blinks wearily as she pushes past him to get to the bathroom first, tugging her skirt into place in the process. Sasuke might pay attention to something other than glowering at Naruto if she manages to put on a bit of makeup and brush her hair properly. 

Her mother looks nothing short of disapproving as she storms down the stairs and runs out the door, only pausing to grab the bento box on the counter. “Have a good day!” 

“I will! See you later, kaachan!”

By the time Sakura gets to their meeting place, she’s huffing and puffing from sprinting through the streets. She blinks as she stops to catch her breath. 

None of her team is anywhere in sight. 

Sasuke and Naruto are almost certainly in bed still, free from scolding mothers who force them to get up. Or do chores. Or anything else, for that matter. It really isn’t fair that they get to do whatever they want, when they want. 

There is someone else here though. An unfamiliar woman, her blue hair meticulously tied back, leans against the bridge railing and stares out. The slow stream cannot be that interesting. Her clothes are decidedly civilian, and her chakra doesn’t feel like a shinobi’s, but Sakura isn’t the best at chakra sensing yet. 

It’s the way she stands that grabs Sakura’s attention. Her shoulders are pushed back and her back is as straight as a steel rod, but that proves nothing. Sakura swallows as more details about the woman come to her attention. The woman’s clothes may be civilian, but civilians don’t fill out the shoulders like that, like they’re too tightly wound around well-toned biceps. 

If only there were a hitai-ate to declare which village she’s from. 

“You don’t have to keep your distance like that,” the woman says, her voice cool and collected while she remains focused on the water flowing beneath the bridge.

She must be a shinobi then.

Civilians aren’t that observant. Sakura could have stood there for any amount of time, once she had caught her breath, and a civilian might not have noticed her until they turned around and saw her with their own two eyes. 

Instructions from her time back in the Academy flood back in. This woman might be a Konoha shinobi, but without a hitai-ate, a spy might be more likely. Which means she should find a way to excuse herself and find a guard. Better to be safe than sorry if they spot an unknown shinobi wandering through the village, Mizuki-sensei always used to tell them. 

Instead, Sakura straightens and steps forward. 

The woman doesn’t react as Sakura moves to lean against the railing beside her. Close proximity only continues to confirm Sakura’s theory that she’s a shinobi. Gorgeous is an easy description, particularly when her high cheekbones and full lips make a lump form in the back of Sakura’s throat, but it ignores everything else that adds to that. Like the way the woman stands so she doesn’t have obvious openings, while looking as casual as can be. 

“Who are you?” Sakura blurts out. 

The woman lets out a soft breath that can almost be mistaken for a laugh. “I have a visitor’s pass, kunoichi-chan. There’s no need to worry about your village.” 

Heat quickly gathers in her cheeks and her stomach sinks. She didn’t even have to say anything and her intentions were so easily seen. Sakura hangs her head, staring down at the bridge beneath her feet. 

“If you really want to call me something, feel free to use Angel,” the woman continues, hiding a small smile. “However, people will be more likely to give you their name if you offer your own first.”

As if that isn’t one of the first things she had been told in her kunoichi classes. “I’m Haruno Sakura.” 

Angel inclines her chin and finally looks at Sakura from the corner of one of her intense, yellow eyes. 

Sakura has never had a conversation as strange as this one. 

Speaking her mind might be easier if she had the same amount of poise as Angel does. Angel probably doesn’t have to deal with any of the issues Sakura has had to. Memories of the celebration of Gatō’s death come pouring back to her, unwanted. How long had Naruto and Sasuke danced together? Sasuke had been scowling the entire time, but Sakura isn’t an idiot. He could have left if he really wanted to. Meanwhile, she had been stuck along the outskirts, stuck to find her own way through the crowd, and instead of doing that, she had turned and left. 

The entire month in Wave had been like that, one way or another. Sakura danced alone, trained alone, even guarded Tazuna alone, always secondary to whatever Naruto and Sasuke were doing at the time. 

She couldn’t have felt it more acutely than she did in that moment.

Sakura breathes in deeply and steels her nerves. “Angel-san, what do you think it means to be a shinobi?” 

“A shinobi?” Angel repeats back at her, looking taken aback for the first time since they started talking. “I… don’t believe anyone truly knows the answer to that, Haruno-chan.” 

“Oh.” 

Angel huffs out a laugh at her disappointment. “Personally, I believe shinobi are the world’s path to a better future. It won’t be an easy path to take, but it may be the only one available to us. We just have to remember ourselves as we walk along it.” 

“Sakura-chan!” 

The abruptness of Naruto’s voice makes her jump and swivel around. He is all but running towards the bridge, a grin across his face and Rin trailing after him. Sakura glances back at Angel as the end of their conversation makes something in her heart ache. 

Acknowledging Naruto almost feels like a betrayal when she truly sees Angel. Her shoulders have turned into a hard, straight line as her gaze focuses somewhere over Sakura’s head. Somewhere being directly on Rin, where the sudden tension is mirrored in him, his spear strapped to his back. 

Sakura doesn’t know much about Uzumaki Rin, if she’s being honest with herself. He lingers around the training grounds sometimes and always look a bit on the sad side. At least, he looks something similar to sad. It usually goes away when he sees Naruto though, which is likely the only reason Sakura hasn’t brought it up with Kakashi-sensei. Someone needs to keep an eye on Rin, especially if he knows Angel. 

Naruto slows once he gets closer, faltering as he spots Angel. “Sakura-chan, do you know this woman?” 

“We just met,” Sakura answers slowly, resisting the urge to look back over her shoulder. They aren’t about to start fighting in the street. At least, she doesn’t think they will. “This is Angel-san. Angel-san, this is my teammate, Uzumaki Naruto, and his cousin-” 

“I was hoping to get the opportunity to see you today, Rin-san.” 

“Wait, what’s going on?” Naruto asks, frowning.

Rin slowly shakes his head. “Nothing you need to worry about, Naruto-kun. She’s just a friend. A friend who isn’t nearly as funny as she thinks she is.” 

“Is she the one who sent-” 

“She is,” Rin says, quickly. He looks the most uncomfortable with this situation by a long shot. “We’ll talk later, alright? If… Angel-san came all this way to see me, then the least I can do is treat her to lunch and give her a tour around the village.” 

Angel moves for the first time, her even steps almost making it look like she’s gliding, rather than walking. “I do have other business in the village, Rin. The world does not revolve around you.” 

“So, you don’t want me to buy lunch?” 

“I never said that.” Angel looks over her shoulder and Sakura freezes as they make eye contact for the first time. “I hope you come across your own truth, Haruno-chan.” 

“I - yes, thank you.” 

The air charges as Angel joins Rin, her heels echoing across the pavement. Rin waves at the two of them before he turns back around, and he and Angel start walking back into the village. They couldn’t contrast each other any more than if they tried. Rin is a wildfire, while Angel is the ocean, calm on the surface, but more than capable of pulling someone down into the current. Even their clothes contrast, given Angel’s dark, tight-fitting apparel and Rin’s loose, flowing jacket. 

Except, Sakura notices abruptly, they are both potentially dangerous, foreign shinobi. Foreign shinobi who may or may not be friends. 

“Uh, what just happened?” Naruto asks, voicing the question Sakura keeps thinking.

“I… really don’t know.”

* * *

Rin stares ahead, purposely not looking at his new companion as she falls in step with him. 

Anyone with a perceptive enough eye would be able to tell that she isn’t a civilian. Civilians don’t walk like that, like they’re aware of everything around them. Civilians certainly can’t coil away their chakra until it appears almost non-existent. Rin must have underestimated the village though, because she still right in front of him. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, eventually.

Konan glances at him from the corner of a painted eye. “Is it that much of a mystery to you, Rin-san?” 

“Of course! We-” 

Rin cuts himself off, his jaw clenching as he forces back the intense wave of emotion. Not the healthiest way to deal, but far better than taking it out on someone. Konan might be able to handle the brunt of an attack better than most. The village wouldn’t be able to. Besides, her idea of revenge is subtle. 

Once, a girl went from confident and in Konan’s face to doubting her own existence with only a couple of carefully chosen words. Had she done anything other than attempt to flirt with Konan, it wouldn’t have been quite so amusing. 

“I sent you a note,” Konan says, calmly. “I even went so far as to mention my business with a shop in Konoha. A shipment has gone missing, and I wanted an excuse to check up on you.” 

As if Konan needs an excuse. 

“Even that was too much!” 

Konan doesn’t so much as budge. “I listened to your proposal, never agreed to it.” 

Rin groans, both of them turning onto his street. 

Their alliance was meant to be a temporary one. Or as temporary as it could be, given the most recent situation in Amegakure. He had tried to make her promise that the only contact between them would be her sending him periodic updates on Ame, nothing more and nothing less. There is too much of a chance that she could be recognized, even if she isn’t technically registered as a shinobi. 

Even when Hanzo was still alive, information didn’t exactly flow freely between Ame and the rest of the world. Rin hasn’t heard anything to suggest that people in Konoha even know Hanzo died in the first place, but that doesn’t account for Konan being a former student of Jiraiya. 

Konan holds her head up high now, so much like the Sakura from his own time that he gives in with only the slightest twinge of exasperation. There are some thing he’s willing to face, but that is not one of them. He likes his head right where it is. 

“Those shipments you mentioned then,” he continues on, turning down the small path to his front door. 

She swallows the change of subject as easily as air. “The problem hasn’t changed. My shipments still periodically disappear, and while I do manage to get most of them back, there are always a few that can’t be found.” 

“Then it’s-” 

“As if it could be someone else.”

The subject drops as Rin unlocks the front door, a silent agreement passing between them. He needs more details about Ame, details that Konan can’t give him until they’re in a more secure location. ANBU may not be following him through the village anymore, but something can still be said for nosy neighbours. 

His smile fades slowly when Sakura’s quiet contemplation from earlier suddenly comes to mind. He glances over at Konan. She doesn’t look any different from usual, simply shrugs off her shoes and switches into a pair of slippers he put by the door last week. Nothing suggests that they had been talking for more than a few moments before he came around with Naruto. They could have been talking about anything either, nothing he should really worry about. 

It just reminds him too much of his own Sakura, her chakra coils destroyed after that first battle was over. She grew silent one afternoon, a bitter smile on her face, and it was all he could do to ask her what she was thinking about. The answer she gave him wasn’t one he had expected. 

A part of him is still surprised by the soft way she smiled at him and said, “Konan-san, actually. I know I never actually met her, but there’s still something that makes me think about her every now and then.” 

“Really?” he asked, blinking. 

“Of course!” Sakura reached over to punch his shoulder, but it didn’t so much as make him flinch. “From what you’ve told me, the two of us were a lot alike. I may not have had to grow up in the aftermath of a war, but we were both willing to do whatever we could for the person we loved, weren’t we?” 

“No one can hear us?” Konan asks in the here and now, pulling Rin from his thoughts. 

Rin shakes his head. “No.” 

Not that it matters, because Konan is already scanning the room for potential holes in their security. He tries not to feel too offended by it. She hasn’t gotten where she is today without having a healthy amount of paranoia. 

He leans against the kitchen counter and crosses his arms, waiting. “Tell me why you really came here. It’s obviously not because you’re losing support.” 

“Nothing is more important than having support in Ame,” Konan counters. She doesn’t so much as flinch when she continues, but the tenseness in her jaw betrays how she really feels. “The people of Ame, citizens and shinobi alike, see Pein and I as liabilities. Others have been coming forward, and once Tobi returns, he will use that instability to solidify Pein’s power base, one way or another.” 

“I can’t leave Konoha,” Rin says, automatically. 

“Of course not.” 

Her tone is smooth, but Rin knows better. 

His inability to stay in Ame is something they have never agreed on. Konan holds onto her bitterness with even more determination than whatever hurt kept her at Nagato’s side all those years. It is nowhere near the grudge she holds against Nagato himself now, his insistence that staying at Obito’s side is the right thing to do the greatest rift between them. 

Konan regards him carefully, the rest of his living room long forgotten. Her shoulders shift back and she moves on, as if it’s the only thing she knows. “There is one thing you can do for me, though.” 

“What is it?” 

“Form a coalition with me. People still remember your kindness, myself included. Their support will weaken Pein’s rule and thus erase Tobi’s foothold in both Ame and Akatsuki.” 

It almost makes sense. The people of Ame always seemed distant to him during his time there, shrugging off any of his attempts at conversation. 

That won’t stop them from seeing a coalition between him and Konan as a compromise, maybe even a promise towards a different sort of future. His fight with Pein right before he left for Konoha guarantees that. A selfless challenger was what the old man who helped patch him up called him. But red flags are already rising. 

“You want to recreate Akatsuki,” Rin counters. 

“Akatsuki was always Yahiko’s dream.” 

Konan’s gaze is downcast and her voice wispful, leaving only one possibility of the meaning behind her words. Rin mentally curses. 

Regardless of what Konan intends to do with a new iteration of the Akatsuki, Madara will find a way to use the group. Or Obito will, masquerading either as Tobi or someone else. There has to be some other way to turn the tides in Ame, before someone takes advantage of the turmoil all over again. All it would take is one crisis for Obito to take over again, simply through promising the people work and food and for things to run smoothly for once in their lives. 

A stronger Obito means a stronger Madara. A stronger Madara means they’re far closer to the reality Rin left behind than they should be. 

“I know that Yahiko is dead,” Konan says, quietly. “He will always be dead, even if his body lives on. But that is only all the more reason why his dream should be properly recognized. Pein… Nagato has forgotten that.” 

Rin tips his head back and stares up at the ceiling, sighing. “Yeah, I understand that.” 

“Do you?” 

“Hey! I’ve lost people before. More people than you can even imagine!” 

She watches him, dubious. It’s not like Rin can blame her, even as he pouts at her from across the room. There are some things he never talks about, and that is most certainly one of them. 

Bending the truth about what happened really wouldn’t be too difficult, particularly to someone who never knew any of the people he lost. Somehow though, that feels like a betrayal to their memory, to their silent existence in his memories and nowhere else. If he ever tells the story to someone, then he has every intention of telling it in full.   
“May I see it?” 

Rin blinks, his pout falling away. “Why would you want to?” 

“Its significance is far greater in the decisions you make than you like to pretend,” Konan points out, stepping forwards. “Not to mention how it indicates your… attachment to this place.” 

He shrugs and tugs off his jacket, turning around. Her footsteps are silent on the wood floor, momentarily betraying just how dangerous she is when she lightly touches the middle of his back. 

The design on his back is clear even through the beige fishnet top he’s taken to wearing recently. Sprawling browns and greens come together to form a solid tree, its branches just barely curling around his shoulders and sides in an everlasting reminder of his past. It is a far more literal reminder than most that he carries. His tattoo looks deceptively soft to the touch, but the texture of the skin on his back is almost hard, almost more similar to bark than skin. 

Even Konan, trained by a Sannin and a founder of the Akatsuki, doesn’t truly know what it means. The last time she saw it was nearly two years ago, its branches only a fraction of the size they are now. 

Back then, the only explanation he gave her was that the tree represents his loved ones. That explanation isn’t wrong, but it does leave out the way Yamato-taichō and Kakashi-sensei sacrificed their own chakra in order to be representations of the village. Their respective injuries had already prevented them from officially taking part in anymore battles. Neither of them had survived the final ambush on Konoha. 

When Rin met Obito that final time, the tree had been nothing more than a burnt stump without so much of a chance of growing back to full strength. 

Only in the last couple months has he seen what it might look like at full strength.

“This is… extensive,” Konan says, quietly. 

Rin breathes in deeply and nods. “That’s the way I want it to be.” 

Konan doesn’t need him to explain again, of course she doesn’t. Her loyalty to Yahiko and Nagato outshines everything else in her life, even to the point of destroying her relationship with Nagato to save him. 

His loyalty to Konoha could have only been obvious, over the time he spent in Ame. 

“When you came to Amegakure,” she starts, her voice still low. Rin slowly turns back around to face her, only partially shocked by the low-lying anger. “You told me you wanted to save the entire world. You wanted Yahiko’s dream to be continued.”

“That’s no less true than it was when I left,” Rin replies. 

“How? You have placed Konoha above everyone else. This only proves that this entire time, the safety of Konoha has come first, that you have been incapable of expanding your definition of home to the rest of our world.” 

“I-” 

“You are a hypocrite.” 

The words hurt. 

The words hurt enough that Rin finds himself taking half a step back and looking at Konan, really, truly looking at her. There are lines in the corners of her eyes that weren’t there before, her glare focused on his chest rather than his face. They are almost the same height, but her shoulders are pulled in to make her look smaller, like less of a threat until she gets the opportunity to strike. 

“Pein and I knew your vision of the future was a lie from the moment you told it to us,” she says, abruptly changing tracks. “The difference between me and him was that I saw the truths hidden in the lies, while he dismissed it on principal.” 

Rin glances away, unable to deny it. “You wouldn’t have believed the truth.”

“You never gave us the opportunity to believe. But it seems I will have to fight for the world myself, if you are unwilling to look outside of the borders of this insignificant village.” 

Her words are hurled at him like blows, and he just takes it, watching her turn around and head for the door. It would be easier if he couldn’t see the truth in what she said.

It would be easier if he didn’t know that Konoha is at the center of everything to come. Konoha will be attacked by Orochimaru to drive Sasuke away, allowing Obito to take advantage of him years down the road. Konoha is Danzo’s village, and Danzo will continue attempting to drive the world towards war until the day he dies. Konoha is where Naruto lives. 

Perhaps more accurately, Rin wants to see his loved ones grow without so much hurt in their lives. He wants to see everything they missed because of the way things turned out in his own time.

* * *

Konan slowly closes the door behind her. 

Her eyes briefly fall closed and she breathes deeply, taking a moment to calm her nerves. This isn’t how she expected this conversation to go. 

No longer is she certain how she wanted this conversation to go. Her feet start to move before she can linger on the disappointment for too long, leading her towards the village centre. To keep moving is a trait she learned once when she was only child and it has served her well in the years that followed. Stagnation is as close as someone can come to asking to die without actually speaking the words. 

Once, she would have never come here to begin with. Ever since her fight with Nagato, ever since she forced herself to see how a better future should not come at the price of the only person left in her life tearing themselves apart, she’s had to learn how to make choices for herself. 

This, perhaps, is not the best example of her making choices for herself. 

Something will have to change once Konan gets back to Ame, though. If Nagato will not come to his senses of his own accord, then she will strip away his ability to fight until there is nothing left. Starting with winning back the citizens of Ame with her own measures. Things will change. 

The people of Ame will never be like those who populate the streets of Konoha, however. Konan receives at least a dozen good mornings as she walks past the shops, most accompanied by small smiles before shinobi and citizens alike move on with their lives. She does not have to say so much as a word in return. This is easily the place where Jiraiya spent the formative years of his life, as much as it has likely changed since then. 

Konan can still remember how taken aback he had been the first time someone ignored him as they walked past, if she cares to. Most of the time, she doesn’t. The person she was back then has little to nothing in common with who she is now. 

Her steps falter in front of a shop full of shinobi gear. One set is visible through the front window, the sleeveless shirt’s grey fabric accented with deep reds. It has a practical skirt to match, almost making it look as if the skirt were only a continuation of the accents wrapping around from front to back. A young kunoichi far more focused on fighting than seduction would suit it perfectly. 

The past cannot be changed, but maybe Konan can still do a little to prevent it from happening again. 

Starting with a girl struggling with her place in this world of theirs.


	13. change of heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn’t change the heart of others - it only changes yours.”_ -Shannon L. Alder, _300 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It’s Too Late_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief warning: The last scene is kinda... ugh. Not particularly gory but the implications and the thoughts around it are off-putting, to say the least. There's nothing else I can really say without spoiling what's going on.
> 
> I'm not entirely satisfied with this chapter but it is what it is. Especially given I wanted to have it up nearly a month ago, which was more the fault of finals, a bout of pneumonia in the middle of finals, and then the make-up exams I had to do after that. It's been a busy month. On the upside, I have a good amount of material to post in the upcoming weeks, both for Overturn and various one shots/short chaptered fics.

“Isn’t that Uzumaki over there?” 

Kakashi rolls his eyes and ducks his head further into his book. Kurenai has been eyeing it with an even stronger dispassion than usual tonight, enough that he almost wants to call her out on it. Instead, he turns the page purposely, only half taking in its contents. 

“Oh,” Kurenai says, her voice a touch off. “He did decide to show up then. I wondered last week, but…” 

“You invited him?” Genma asks. 

“We ran into each other. It only seemed right when he’s technically a jounin now, but when he didn’t show up last week, I thought he might have forgotten.” 

“Huh.” Genma turns to stare at Kakashi. “It makes sense why he’d show up now, if you think about it.” 

“Or someone could have let Gai’s challenge slip,” Hayate cuts in. 

Kakashi turns another page. “Hayate has the right idea.” 

“Well, regardless of why he showed up today instead of last week, someone should still go over there and invite him to sit with us. It can’t be easy, suddenly belonging to a village after an entire lifetime of going at it by himself. We might as well help out as much as we can,” Kurenai says. 

An awkward silence stretches across the table until Kakashi slowly looks up from Icha Icha Paradise. 

Three unashamed sets of eyes stare back at him. 

“Ah.” 

“If you don’t do it,” Genma starts, the threat lying beneath his casual tone. “I’ll tell Gai all about how you didn’t care about making things easier for Uzumaki. And that you think you’ve beaten his record for fastest run up the Hokage Monument.” 

Kakashi blanches and quickly stands, his book disappearing back into his kunai pouch. There are only a few more days until Gai is due back from his current mission, and Kakashi has plans for his life. Plans that do not include being challenged to a duel every day for the next month. Once a week or so is perfectly fine by him. 

“Remember to grab a round while you’re over there.” 

Kurenai holds back a laugh as Kakashi turns around and shoves his hands into his pockets. He doesn’t look back at them to see the amused looks they’re exchanging, but he has been on the other side of it often enough to know it’s happening. All of his friends are truly assholes. 

That certainly is Rin sitting at the bar though. Kakashi would not be able to miss that shade of red anywhere, not even on a man who sits awkwardly straight in his bar stool, seemingly lost in thought. Whoever that woman was the other day, she must have made quite the impact on him. He has never seen Rin look quite so uncomfortable before. 

No part of him wants to know who she is though, and so Kakashi just slides into place beside Rin and orders, “Four sakes, please.” 

Rin turns his head, his surprise quickly melting into an easy smile. 

“Ah, Kurenai wants you to come join us as well,” he says, his gaze still trained on the bartender. It wouldn’t be terribly difficult to order a fifth drink now. Two of them would be for himself, of course.

“Kurenai? Are all of these drinks for her then?” 

“Are you underestimating a woman’s ability to drink?” Kakashi glances back at the table, holding back a scowl when he sees Kurenai and Genma watching him carefully. “You are welcome to challenge her to a drinking contest, if that’s what it takes. No guarantees that you’ll be sober by morning, though.”

Rin snorts. “I’d be far more worried about her, actually. The last person who challenged me to a drinking game suffered for it.” 

“You should have no problems joining us then,” Kakashi cheerfully informs him. 

“Did you really think I was going to refuse, Kakashi-kun?” 

“Ah.” 

Rin grins over at him like the two of them are sharing some sort of private joke, then throws back the rest of his drink. Kakashi watches the tanned line of Rin’s throat while he swallows with ease. His entire vocabulary disappears, as does any moisture in his mouth. 

Going up against Gai in a drinking contest really would not be a problem if Rin can swallow that easily. It almost makes Kakashi wish Gai were around, just so he could watch. Instead, he busies himself with paying for the drinks, resolute in stopping his mind from wandering. If nothing else, Genma will be perfectly capable of reading it in his posture, and there are a few things Kakashi would rather keep to himself for the time being. 

A couple people watch them as they cross the floor, the table’s drinks in hand, but they don’t make a show out of it. Trained in the art of subtle information gathering, but too damn nosy to keep it to themselves is likely a better description of shinobi than any other. The habit only seems to get worse when it comes to people with a reputation of strength, like the one Rin has gained for himself. 

Almost the entire village had heard of Uzumaki Rin before the offer ANBU made to him. Now, he’s recognizable. 

“Uzumaki-san,” Genma says, as soon as they reach the table. He doesn’t so much as blink when Rin looks over at him, setting down two of the glasses. “What’s your take on Anko’s newest flavour of the month?” 

Rin steps to the side to let Kakashi set down the other two glasses. “An… ko?” 

“There’s no point in asking him,” Kurenai interjects. “Him and Anko haven’t met yet. Trust me. Anko would have mentioned it to me. Or at least, she would have stopped making harebrained theories on who Uzumaki-san really is.” 

“Is there a debate about who I am?” Rin asks, nearly falling into the free seat at the booth in his confusion. 

That is exactly where Kakashi had been sitting a few short minutes ago. He carefully doesn’t say anything about as he pulls a chair over from a nearby table, and joins in. “No need to worry, Rin-chan. That’s just Anko’s way of saying she finds you interesting.” 

Kurenai chokes on her drink, lifting her hand to her mouth as she starts to cough. 

“Kurenai-san?” 

“It’s - it’s fine.” She shakes her head as she quickly regains a sense of herself. Not before shooting a dirty look towards Kakashi though, and he beams back at her, feigning obliviousness. “But Kakashi’s right. Genin would come up with better theories than Anko, so that’s the last thing you should be worrying about.” 

“It seems like Kakashi is the one you need to worry about,” Hayate mutters into his glass. 

Kakashi can almost see the exact moment Rin realizes that he doesn’t know the other two people at the table. He momentarily straightens his back and the corners of his mouth turn downwards as he attempts to place them anyways. 

“This,” he says, smoothly answering the unspoken question, “is Konoha’s most stubborn long-term patient, Gekko Hayate, and that is a disturbingly overgrown mother hen.” 

Genma narrows his eyes at him, the senbon needle placed between his lips straightening. It doesn’t waver when Kurenai sighs, and especially not when Rin holds back a snort of laughter. “Shiranui Genma.”

“I’m sorry no one ever told you the truth about yourself.” 

“The truth isn’t defined by reckless idiots like you, Kakashi.” 

“Ah, I think Gai would have something to say about your hypocrisy there.”

“ _My-_ ”

Sharp coughing interrupts them, along with a sidelong glance from Hayate. “Gai-san wouldn’t back either of you, actually.” 

“You’re right,” Kurenai adds, her tone heavy. “Gai would almost certainly renounce both of you, or at the very least, demand to know why you aren’t being a true example of your youth. Arguing is never youthful.” 

The itching need to needle Genma immediately drains out of him. His shoulders slump as he looks across the table and finds exactly what he expected. Genma with horror briefly written across his face before he takes a drink. 

Something about disappointing Gai is comparable to disappointing a puppy. Even if it doesn’t change anything, he carries it in the weight of his body until something more exciting comes along. Hearing those same words out of Kurenai’s mouth only compounds the point. Or that could simply be because Kurenai is the last person he expected to say something like that. Hearing that from anyone who isn’t Gai would be enough to send anyone into a stupor. 

After two decades of exposure to Gai, Genma must feel a portion of that. They make eye contact and Kakashi grabs his glass, pulling his mask down only long enough to drink. 

A soft snort breaks the silence the moment his glass touches the table once more. Laughter follows it closely, all stifled brightness. Kakashi turns away from Genma and is forced to stop, every molecule of his body briefly shutting down. 

Rin is holding a hand to his mouth, his grin still visible behind it. His smile only grows as they make eye contact, the laughter no longer stifled but loud and ringing. “You don’t have a defense for yourself, Kakashi-kun?” 

“Ah.” He looks around at the others and sighs, feigning a pout. “Now all of you are picking on me.”

* * *

Rin is not exactly the man Kurenai expected him to be. 

His laughter is almost shocking, a far cry from the distracted, mournful expression he wore when they first met. Nothing has really changed since then, not that she can think of. Sure, Kakashi and his team got back from their mission and there are a few rumours about Rin turning down ANBU, but they shouldn’t make too much of a difference. 

Especially because Rin decided to turn down ANBU. Kurenai didn’t know what to think about that one when Asuma told her. ANBU doesn’t extend invitations to just anyone, and particularly not anyone they consider a potential risk. New shinobi, namely shinobi who didn’t grow up in Konoha, almost never get into ANBU, no matter how hard they try. Shinobi villages don’t stay standing without being at least a bit paranoid. 

Seeing him now, she almost thinks she can understand. Certain people just aren’t made for the type of work ANBU requires. Out of their generation, Hayate likely comes the closest to working well with the program, but even that could potentially be debated. 

“So.” Rin immediately pulls her attention back to him, whether he intends it or not. “What were you guys asking about Anko and dating?” 

“It’s not that important. Things will probably stay a lot calmer around here if we don’t get front row tickets to how well a house gets along with fire.” 

Kurenai groans, taking a second look at Rin. “Genma, why? I didn’t see it until now. I was perfectly fine with not seeing it.” 

Kakashi perks up. “Ah?” 

“There’s no way you could have missed it, Hatake. Uzumaki-san is just… a less sadistic version of Anko.” Kurenai thinks about it briefly and cringes. “Actually, I’m sure they have a lot of similarities when it comes to combat as well. She’s going to want to spar with him as soon as possible.” 

Hayate huffs, only barely stopping himself from choking on another cough. “That’s likely why she likes this guy from T&I so much.” 

“Wait, what?” Rin asks. 

They exchange a significant look. 

Kurenai has only met Anko’s newest fling once, but that once was more than enough. There had been something about the look in his eyes that immediately put her on edge, a far cry from the hint of mischief Anko carries in her grin. 

“Anko is-” 

“An idiot, primarily. People like him are the only reason why our T&I department functions well, but she’s far more interested in picking him apart just to see how his mind works,” Kurenai interrupts, swiftly. “They probably won’t last longer than a week. Then she’ll be back to trying to corrupt my team.” 

“It will be interesting to see what his perspective on the world is after she’s through with him. Maybe we should send someone over to his place once they’re through?” Kakashi suggests. 

A silent conversation passes between them. 

Kurenai lets herself lean back at the first throw of a shuriken. She’s handled clean-up duty more times than she can count, plus now she has a genin team to worry about. 

Knowing them, Kiba will find a way to follow her once he realizes she isn’t going right home after training. And Shino and Hinata will follow behind him, dragged along by his pure strength of will. One of the downsides of training a team for scouting is that they always know where exactly she is. It’s just Kiba’s innate curiosity that stops her from having any sense of privacy. 

Genma is the first to break with a sigh. “I’ll get Iruka-kun to go over once we’ve heard the news.” 

“Good choice,” Kurenai says, relief evident in her voice. “Him and Anko are pretty much friends. And he must have picked up how to effective threaten people from somewhere, otherwise he wouldn’t have a classroom left at this point.” 

“Hadn’t Anko-san sworn off dating in the first place?” Hayate asks, abruptly. 

Kurenai shakes her head, an amused quirk to her lips. “Even if she didn’t swear off dating at least once a month, she only said she wasn’t going to date anymore women last time. And after this month, she’ll be going around saying men aren’t interesting enough for her.” 

“You know, none of this is making me less interested in meeting her.”

“I think that reflects more on you than it does on the rest of us, Rin-chan,” Kakashi responds.

Kurenai stills. The honorific for Rin isn’t any less strange coming out of Kakashi’s mouth than it had been the first time around, much to her horror. Asuma will die of laughter when she gets around to telling him all about it, almost more than he will when she explains how Kakashi didn’t bury his head in one of those disgusting novels of his all night. 

At least she doesn’t have to go through the rest of this experience sober. She has a mission with her team first thing in the morning, but one of the benefits of finally being a jounin sensei is that she doesn’t have to help with the mission herself.

* * *

“So.” Kurenai’s cheeks are painted red as she very nearly stumbles over her words. “What I don’t understand is why you think your team is worse than ours, Kakashi.” 

Rin hides a smile into his glass at the sight of Kakashi tilting his head to the side. He appears to think over his answer, his finger tapping the side of his chin. 

“Ah, I’m not sure. Perhaps you should tell me yourself?” Kakashi settles on. 

Genma snorts from the other side of the table, and Rin no longer bothers to hide his smile as it morphs into a wide grin. 

Out of all of them, Kurenai has had the most to drink. That isn’t to say that the rest of them haven’t had anything, except perhaps for Hayate, who had to leave a while back. Genma started to take a bit longer to respond to questions almost an hour ago. It’s nothing compared to the way Kakashi has started laughing at everything, a high-pitched giggle that defies all expectations. 

For once, Rin doesn’t feel so bad that his body burns off alcohol faster than he can drink it. His metabolism would probably be even better than it is now if it weren’t for Kurama being ripped out of him. He doesn’t know for certain, because he only ever had a couple sips of the drinks Jiraiya offered him before everything happened. That really isn’t comparable to right now, as he shares laughter and bad gossip with people who are practically his own age. 

Plus, he has every intention of using this as blackmail material later. 

“I don’t know. I can’t read your mind, you know.” Kurenai pauses, then scowls. “Why would I try to explain it to you anyways? That would just be answering my own question.” 

Rin holds back a laugh. “Can I try to explain it, Yuuhi-san?” 

“Rin-kun, please, call me Kurenai. But go for it, if you think you can.” 

“Well, your team at least gets along, right?” 

“Most of the time. It could be closer to half the time, actually. Kiba tends to… overshadow Hinata and Shino, and that only makes them more difficult to handle. Nevermind that they’re all clan heirs, because who has luck like that? Me, it seems,” Kurenai answers, half-mumbling. 

“Right. At least they know where they’re coming from then?” Kurenai nods, and Genma and Kakashi stare on, clearly interested. “Well, Naruto-kun’s team can’t.”

Kakashi blinks. “Ah, you’re right.” 

“You really got to learn that I’m always right, Kakashi-kun,” Rin says with a grin. 

Kurenai frowns. “I don’t get it.” 

“It’s simple. Sasuke’s got the weight of a dead clan hanging over his shoulders, Naruto’s never known his parents, meanwhile Sakura’s parents are civilians,” Genma cuts in. “Can’t get a much higher potential for misunderstandings than that.” 

“Oh.” 

Rin laughs, immediately looking over at Kakashi to share in the amusement. Just like every other time he’s looked at him, Kakashi is staring back, as if waiting for that brief moment when their eyes meet. 

There is no amused crinkle in the corner of Kakashi’s eye this time, simply silent contemplation. A lump forms in the back of Rin’s throat. His insight couldn’t have been too radical. Kakashi must have seen some of the problems with his own team, tried to see a bit of where each of them was coming from. For such complicated emotions, their positions are really quite easy to spot. 

Seeing Kakashi think about his team’s dynamics so carefully now is almost jarring in its own way. Of course, Rin had known that the Kakashi from his time cared about the three of them, in his own way. Things wouldn’t have happened as they did if that weren’t the case. His fingers tighten around his glass and he looks away as his thoughts are impossibly stuck on that look of consideration. 

“I can’t believe they let that demon brat leave the village.” 

The temperature around him must drop twenty degrees. 

His jaw clenches tightly and Rin focuses his gaze downwards. None of the others could have missed that comment, not in the sudden lapse of their own conversation, not when it was spoken with such arrogant loudness. 

“Why?” comes an easy response. For all of a moment, relief rushes through his veins. Then she keeps talking. “It meant we didn’t have to deal with the monster’s chakra for a while. Better to have the break than not.” 

A line of heat presses against his leg. It takes a long moment for Rin to realize it’s Kakashi’s leg, acting as both a steady weight and a warning. The anger isn’t just in his gut though, it’s worked its way throughout his entire body. 

“It was nice, at least while it lasted. It would have been better if he never came back,” the first man admits, wistfully. 

“I wish.” 

“Even since the brat became a genin, it’s been worse too. Its chakra just hangs over the village like an ominous cloud.”

Kurama’s chakra, tainted by anger, can be hard to deal with, if someone isn’t used to it. Rin had completely forgotten that other people weren’t used to it, that other people couldn’t understand the rise and fall as the anger of someone completely and utterly trapped. 

That still doesn’t curb his anger. 

Not by a long shot. 

“They’re nobody,” Kakashi says, quietly, and there is a resigned slump to his shoulders as he meets Rin’s eyes. 

“They’re insulting Naruto,” Rin throws back. 

“And Naruto-kun has heard worse.” 

He slowly lets go of his glass as he turns the words over and over, but it doesn’t make the situation any better. 

It isn’t fair. Naruto shouldn’t have to hear things like this, shouldn’t have to smile wider when someone tears him down. And this is only one of many things that Naruto shouldn’t have to face. 

Him coming back should be making things better. 

The woman speaks up, almost taunting him. “I don’t know why the Sandaime kept him around in the first place. Konoha would be safer without him.” 

Nobody stops him as he gets up on his feet. Anger rolls off of him in waves, no matter how much Rin tries to rein it back in. Kakashi and the others are watching him. It should matter to him what they think about him, what they think he’s capable of. But the Hokage could lock him away for the rest of his life if he could change this one thing. 

Rin moves with a purpose far more telling than his anger. Mentally, he is in the middle of a fight, mind working like clockwork to find weaknesses, to plan strategies. 

They can’t see him coming nor are they expecting him. This is a pub in their own village, a place where they’re supposed to be safe. Killing them is out of the question. That would work against changing things. Nobody would be convinced that Naruto is someone in their village that they should care about. 

But there is a seal he knows. It was once meant for Madara, until he realized just how long the process takes. A person’s chakra cannot convert entirely to nature chakra overnight, not even over the course of a month. He doesn’t know how long it would take, actually. He’s never seen it work with his own two eyes.

It’s still written down on an older scroll, just waiting to be transferred. 

Then Kakashi is standing there as well, a physical barrier between him and the two strangers. His head tilts to the side as he contemplates the two, but his shoulders are such a hard, straight line that Rin finds his feet rooted in place.

“How about a drink for my two kouhai?” Kakashi asks, the picture of innocence. 

The man startles, a scowl automatically written onto his already harsh-looking face. “Kouhai?” 

“Shut up,” the woman hisses, before her companion can say another word. “That’s Hatake Kakashi.” 

“You’ve heard of me!” Kakashi beams at them, the corner of his eye crinkling into a smile as he glances back at Rin. “Perhaps you’ve heard of my friend as well?” 

Neither of them react, not even to look at Rin. 

To them, Rin is clearly nothing more than another nameless shinobi. The real threat is the man whose name they’ve seen written in the back of a bingo book. 

“No? That’s too bad. Rin-chan, don’t you think that’s a shame?”

“No.” 

“Maa, you need to have a bit more self confidence, Uzumaki Rin-chan.” The other two tense, finally taking the time to really look at Rin. “You’ve already surpassed these two, after all.” 

“Uzumaki?” The man slowly stands, his gaze not moving from Rin’s face now that the connection had been made. “You mean he’s related to that monster you teach. Is that what you’re trying to say, Hatake?” 

“Aren’t you surprised, Rin-chan? He doesn’t look too smart.” 

The lazy tone sets the man off.

It must, because he lunges for Kakashi, his arm rearing back in preparation for a punch. Kakashi easily steps to the side and it hits thin air, causing the man to stumble forwards. Right in front of Rin.

Rin contemplates him closely as he regains his balance. Technically old enough to be a jounin, but lacking the form and chakra to make it past chūnin. He can’t be anything more than a bitter man using Naruto as his personal scapegoat. A bully. 

The man wobbles before straightening, hatred in his eyes as he stares at Rin. 

Then he spits on the ground in front of him. “You’re a freak too, aren’t you? Your chakra doesn’t feel right either!” 

Rin ignores the spit at his feet and steps forward, driving his fist into the man’s gut. “Probably, but I promise Naruto will be ten times better than I ever will be,” he says, a threat and a promise all wrapped up in one. 

The man coughs, far wetter than it should have been. His legs give out from beneath him and he crumples to the ground, leaving Kakashi standing behind him as he lazily peers down at the gasping body. 

That one hit takes Rin’s anger along with it. Only the heat and adrenalin is left behind, almost too thick to breath through. He shouldn’t have done that. Changing things should not come at the cost of others, otherwise he will only stoop down to Obito’s level. 

“It seems your friend had a bit too much to drink tonight,” Kakashi tells the woman still seated at the table, the blood drained from her cheeks. 

She rushes through a desperate apology, but Rin isn’t paying attention as she hauls the man’s arm over her shoulder and rushes towards the entrance. Hatred directed inwards is just as bad as hatred at the rest of the world. He knows this, but maybe he should be able to handle it better than other people. He knows nothing good will happen if he doesn’t.

A hand on his shoulder pulls him out of his thoughts. One grey eye meets his gaze as he looks up, and then Kakashi smiles at him, as steady as always. “The next round’s on you.” 

“But-”

“Friends help each other out, don’t they?”

Kakashi’s hand twitches slightly, but Rin breathes in, then nods. “Yeah, they do.”


	14. most unusual

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“People find meaning and redemption in the most unusual human connections.”_ -Khaled Hosseini

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter before the Chunin Exams start!

Rin is a horrible spy. 

Kakashi doesn’t doubt that Rin is perfectly capable of sneaking around and escaping notice, if he wanted to. There is just no subtlety to anything Rin does, it’s as if he doesn’t so much as notice what other people think about him. If such a concept hit Rin in the face, he still wouldn’t know what it is.

That isn’t necessarily bad. Subtlety is only one asset that shinobi have at their disposal, after all. But anyone can spot the hint of red hair in the tree branches above, paired with soft blue cloth. At least, Rin and Naruto aren’t more alike in that way. Orange would be more visible, even with Rin’s feet dangling a good distance above people’s heads, right where they wouldn’t think to look for him.

Hiashi’s patience is commendable, if he can spend the entire morning in his office with Rin keeping watch from the yard without saying a word.

What Kakashi can’t figure out is why Rin is out here. 

Hiashi hasn’t done anything more exciting than paperwork this entire time, likely all from his position on the village council. Close surveillance of a council member would normally end badly for Rin, but it’s also been three months since Rin arrived and nothing else of the sort has happened before now. Then again, there was that woman who apparently visited him last week. Naruto and Sakura wouldn’t stop talking about her until days after the fact. 

Rin wouldn’t betray Naruto though. The anger Kakashi saw at the pub last week was as real as could be. Which then leads to the possibility of Rin looking for an in with the Council to argue for better living conditions, if nothing else.

Except hovering outside of Hiashi’s office isn’t likely to lead to that. 

Besides, Rin is the sort of person who would charge into a meeting and expect his demands to be met. 

A spike in chakra warns him of Rin’s arrival moments before he flickers into existence. “Kakashi-kun, what are you doing here?” 

“I was walking through the area and decided to stop and admire Hiashi’s flowers,” Kakashi drawls. He shifts to the side to give Rin more room on the branch, before continuing, “They’re quite nice, aren’t they?” 

Rin stifles a laugh. “There aren’t any flowers here.”

Someone is still sitting in the tree on the other side of the path, bits of red and blue visible through the branches, seemingly oblivious to the Rin sitting beside him. Even their chakra signatures are identical. 

Kage Bunshin isn’t a jutsu Rin should know by any means, but there it is, right in front of him. The real question is which is the original. 

“Aren’t there? Maa, maybe it was his endurance then.” 

The corners of his eyes crinkle with his amusement as Hiashi’s chakra flares. The rough edge to it is almost exclusively saved for council meetings, but apparently something can be said to the two jounin outside of his home. Particularly the two jounin ignoring the open window and the breeze carrying their voices. 

“But what brought you to the Hyuuga compound today, Rin-chan?” he asks, casually. 

“I… enjoy the view?” 

And that is, perhaps, the real reason why Rin would make a horrible spy. 

His tells could never be mistaken for anything other than what they are. Rin briefly looks away from both Kakashi and the compound, his shoulders hunched to make him look smaller. His guilt is almost pouring off of him as he silently begs Kakashi not to push the subject. 

Kakashi nods, easily enough. “It is a nice view. I should start taking my afternoon naps out here.” 

Rin’s shoulder slump with his relief, but he stays stubbornly silent. That, in itself, is almost enough to cause concern. Kakashi has almost come to appreciate how willing Rin is to start a conversation, his grin almost as common to see as his voice is to hear. 

Neither of those things appear now, even though Kakashi just gave him a wide opening to tease. Maybe it’s their location. Rin doesn’t seem too concerned about Hiashi, but appearances could be deceiving.

If that is the case though, then Kakashi needs to rethink everything he knows about Rin. He had been caught off guard initially; of course he had been. That mixture of red hair and his name urged Kakashi towards the conclusion that Rin could be trusted. He still doesn’t regret that, but maybe he had been blinded by too many other things to truly think it over. 

“Tell me something about yourself,” he requests, when the silence continues to drag on. 

Rin startles, his hand shooting out to grab the branch to steady himself before he looks over at Kakashi with wide eyes. “What - why? I mean, why _now_?” 

“You’re so suspicious, Rin-chan. I simply want to get to know you better.” 

“Okay,” Rin answers, hesitant. “What exactly do you want to know?” 

Kakashi hums, thinking it over in insincere consideration. “Ah, I think I’m most interested in your deepest, darkest secrets.” 

“My deepest, darkest secrets?” Rin quickly regains his bearings as he starts to laugh warmly, shaking his head with a grin. “You should at least buy me food before you expect me to tell you things like that.” 

“I bought you drinks just last week.” 

“Those don’t count,” Rin fires back.

“How about if you tell me now, I’ll buy you dinner tonight?”

Rin hesitates, pretending to weigh his options, then snorts. “You always treat the team to dinner after a mission. I love Naruto and all, but do you really think eating ramen with the three of them is worth telling you my deepest, darkest secrets?” 

He says it so casually that Kakashi almost misses the sentiment. Rin settles into his fond amusement easily, the last of the tension draining from his shoulders as he smiles at Kakashi. Too genuine to be anything but an accident, too genuine to do anything other than wipe away the last of Kakashi’s inhibitions. 

“You love Naruto then?” Kakashi asks, carefully. 

All traces of emotion disappear from Rin’s face. 

It doesn’t sit right on him, that is the first thing Kakashi notices, almost as if he’s uncomfortable with the declaration. Only two types of people are uncomfortable with love. First are people who have never been shown what love is, have never let themselves enjoy the company of another person just for the sake of being with them. Second are those who have known that feeling, only to have it ripped out from under them. 

Out of the two, Kakashi clearly belongs to the latter. He knows this like he knows the back of his own hand. It’s just that he never considered that Rin might belong to one of those categories as well. 

“I do,” Rin says, warmth seeping back into him. “You know, I’d never really thought about it before, but I really do. He’s like the little brother I never had.” 

“It’s too bad he thinks of you as a bizarre uncle with no sense of how to act in public,” Kakashi counters, lightly. 

“No sense of-” Rin cuts himself off, his voice strangled. “If that’s what he thinks of me, then what exactly are you?” 

He beams, nothing held back. “His extremely talented sensei, of course.” 

There’s a beat of silence before Rin starts to laugh, a note of pure joy hanging in the cheerful sound. 

Then he leans over. 

It isn’t much, but it is enough for their shoulders to brush together, more automatic than purposeful. Both of them freeze, the casual contact catching them at the same time. 

A switch flips, just like that. Rin is the first to move, his back as straight as a metal pole. The reaction is immediate enough that Kakashi doesn’t know how to take it as anything other than a sign to keep his distance as Rin’s hands clutch onto the branch beneath their feet. Almost as if he were expecting some sort of attack, rather than friendly contact. 

The cheerful conversation of two teenagers reaches them from below, giving them both a moment to readjust. Something about hearing the woes of boring missions and paperwork lets him focus back on more important things. Things such as Rin’s near-laboured breathing from beside him. 

“Allowing others to stand beside you doesn’t make you weak,” he murmurs, once they pass. 

“I know that!” Rin’s gaze fixates somewhere off in the distance. “I know. I do.” 

“Hmm.” 

“What?” 

“I wonder.” 

Rin finally directs his glare at him, more hurt than anger in those blue eyes, daring him to make light of it. “Tell me.” 

“Not all injuries are physical. Carrying around skeletons will only ever set you up to falter beneath their weight. Every day you carry that weight alone, the heavier that weight gets,” he says, quietly. 

“And just how do you know that?” Rin retorts back. 

“Because I’ve lived through it myself.” Kakashi looks away, briefly overwhelmed by the weight of the confession. “I’m sure you’ll follow my advice better than I do myself though, Rin-chan!”

Rin slowly relaxes again, his grip on the branch loosening and his head hanging between his shoulders. The gears working in Rin’s mind are almost visible as he processes what Kakashi just said. It comes to a stop when the tension bleeds out of his shoulders, like a large weight has just been lifted off of him. 

If only facing those conclusions were as easy for him as they seemed to be for Rin. 

If only that accounted for the hand clasped around his wrist, warm and startling. Rin squeezes slightly to grab his attention, as if he doesn’t already have it, then jumps to the ground. 

Without years of training, Kakashi would have stumbled. Even with years of training, he only just lands on both feet, reeling as Rin continues to tug him down the path. Stopping him seems entirely out of the question, at least while that hand pulls Kakashi firmly out of his comfort zone. Not that he’s putting in any real effort to pull himself away. 

They must be a strange sight as Rin wordlessly drags him from the Hyuuga compound. Kakashi takes advantage of the opportunity once he regains his bearings, beaming at every stranger they come across. Their bewildered expressions are too amusing to resist, particularly once he figures out where they’re going. 

“Naruto-kun!” Rin shouts once they reach the bridge, his team’s bickering quickly reaching their ears. “I want to make a bet with you.” 

All three genin turn to face them at the same moment, their argument grinding to a halt. Not that it stops Naruto and Sasuke from nearly going for each other’s collars, their faces flushed. Sakura glances between her teammates, the dark red of her new skirt moving with her as she anticipates the outcome. 

Honestly, their fighting has been almost subdued for weeks now. 

Then they notice the hand still grasping Kakashi’s wrist, and Rin slowly unfurls his fingers to allow Kakashi to pull away again. His skin still tingles from the touch as he shoves his hands into his pockets, but that piece of information is neatly filed away somewhere he doesn’t have to think about it. 

“Why would you want to do that?” Naruto asks, immediately suspicious. 

It isn’t technically a no. 

Rin grins, his enthusiasm catching. “Because I want to bet that you’ll make chūnin by the end of next month. Think you can manage it?” 

Rin wants them to enter the Chūnin Exam. 

Kakashi carefully doesn’t allow his surprise to show in his posture. He had been considering entering them in the exam, but none of them would even make it to the third round at this point. There’s still too much they need to learn. He hasn’t gone over most of the basics himself, not even walking on water. 

But Naruto’s suspicion morphs into a wide grin right in front of his eyes at the prospect of a challenge. It doesn’t matter that winning the bet means losing the exam. Naruto would gladly lose the bet for the satisfaction of becoming a chūnin. Even the other two have already taken a sharp interest in the prospect, listening far more intently than they normally do. 

Maybe it won’t be too bad if they enter now, after all.

“I’ll reach chūnin by the end of the week, just you watch!” Naruto counters, grinning. 

Sakura sighs, “That’s not how it works, Naruto-kun.”

“What do you mean ‘that’s not how it works?’ I’m definitely going to make it!” 

She squares her shoulders and faces him directly. “Were you ever listening to Iruka-sensei? You have to take an exam to become a chūnin, and they only take place once every six months. Even if you did take part in the next exam, you might have to go to Suna or Iwa in order to do it.” 

“Wait-” 

“She’s trying to say it can’t happen, dobe,” Sasuke cuts in. 

“As if you don’t want to take this exam too, teme!” 

And that is his cue to step in, as unpleasant as it sounds. Kakashi glances out the corner of his eye, his exasperation clearly shining through by the way Rin gives him an apologetic shrug. “As it so happens, Konoha is hosting the Chūnin Exams in two weeks.” 

They stop, attention caught once more. 

“Kakashi-sensei, why didn’t you say anything?” Naruto whines. 

“Why? Ah, I figured you might have some difficulties with the requirements.” They wait with baited breath, making it clear that they want him to properly explain. Unfortunate, because he doesn’t have a proper explanation. “It seems you must enter as a three person team with your sensei’s permission.” 

Judging by the looks on their faces, one day soon, they’re going to attack him in his sleep. 

Kakashi might just be proud if they manage to do it. They’d have to come up with a strategy to avoid the various traps throughout his home, all while making sure he doesn’t wake up. There couldn’t be a better test of their skills if he tried to come up with one himself. 

“Naruto-kun, we still haven’t discussed the details of our bet,” Rin says, before one day can become today.

Naruto blinks, momentarily caught off guard before he grins once more, his arms folded behind his head. “Heh, so what exactly do you want when I reach chūnin?” 

“I want you to move in with me.” 

Kakashi smiles, never more relieved that no one can see the expression on his face. 

This can’t be what Naruto expected, not with the way he has all but frozen in place, entirely focused on Rin. Kakashi can’t speak to the amount of time Naruto has been spending with Rin, at least outside of Rin observing training or joining them for ramen. Naruto’s situation isn’t even one he can empathize with, not entirely. 

What Kakashi can speak to is the loneliness of coming home to an empty apartment, particularly as a child. He knows the rush of relief when Dai would invite him over for the night, generally after finding both him and Gai in their backyard with shuriken and kunai around them in every direction. He knew Kushina and how often she had an arm over someone’s shoulder or would bump their hips together, all constant physical contact. 

“Really?” Naruto asks, quietly. 

Rin closes the distance with a few strides and bends down, hesitating only briefly before placing his hands on Naruto’s shoulders. “Of course. We’re family, aren’t we?” 

Naruto all but launches himself into Rin’s arms. Laughter spills out of Naruto as Rin is forced to brace himself or else stumble backwards under Naruto’s weight. A hint of a wide grin is visible from over Rin’s shoulder, and never before has Naruto looked quite so overjoyed, not even when they go to Ichiraku’s for a post-mission meal. 

“If I win,” Naruto says, his voice hardly audible with his face crammed into Rin’s shoulder, “then I get the biggest room in the house. I won’t, but you better hand it over if I do!” 

Sasuke steps backwards. 

Everyone else is far too preoccupied with Rin and Naruto to notice the unreadable expression on his face, the way he clenches his fist. But Kakashi has been waiting for this ever since Rin made the offer to Naruto. 

The entire village is aware of the Uchiha massacre, but Kakashi kept track of Naruto and Sasuke for years before he became their sensei. It was never anything more than monitoring, due to the Hokage’s orders, but it gave him a clear understanding of the bond the two of them had formed. At least, up until a couple months before they graduated. 

Sasuke might have been the top shinobi of his year, but he still has a lot more to learn about emotions. 

Only, he might not be the right person to teach those things to Sasuke. 

His gaze lazily wanders up to the sky, half-heartedly marking the time. “Ah, it seems we’re late. Client-san wanted their dog walked half an hour ago.”

* * *

The subject isn’t fighting against his restraints. Which means this mixture of sedatives and dehydration is effective, and he can finally move onto the next round of tests. Trial and error isn’t so interesting a process when keeping a subject stationery is his only objective. 

Orochimaru is already well aware of the process that allows the Hozuki clan to separate their own molecules. Combatting it is the true question, but he must be making progress, because his original estimations said that he wouldn’t perfect this method of restraint for another month. On the other hand, that might make this subject a failure in the larger project. The harder to fight back against, the more useful. 

Alas, there are at least five other experiments he could use Hozuki’s particular skill set in, including curing Kimimaro. 

“Orochimaru-sama,” comes a low murmur from the door. 

Orochimaru pauses, his finger poised over a scalpel. “Kabuto-kun. Shouldn’t you be in Konoha?”

“A couple days won’t make a difference now,” Kabuto says, without wavering. “Besides, my grandmother fell ill unexpectedly.” 

“And this encouraged you to risk your position at this point in the game?” He takes the scalpel now, noting Hozuki’s condition. 

A steady heart rate means that the precautionary measures are continuing to hold, yet another improvement from previous tests. He will have to do more research later to see what exactly makes this mixture more effective than previous ones. Other factors will have to be taken into account as well, to prevent future mistakes. 

Silence echoes from the doorway, and his train of thought briefly changes tracks. Kabuto does not normally play the role of careful servant, not unless he thinks it will get him something. Something unexpected must have happened. Orochimaru had already guessed that much, however, due to his sudden appearance. Stories of sick family members only work for so long before someone gets suspicious, particularly when a bit of digging reveals Kabuto’s distinct lack of family. 

And yet, Hiruzen might come up with some ridiculous excuse, just to protect someone he sees as his own. 

The subject’s skin breaks easily under the weight of the scalpel. There is almost too much give, which might actually lead to more experimenting with levels of dehydration. Twelve hours without water might work better than the current eight. Or he might just have to accept this as the price to be paid for Hozuki being properly restrained. Whichever will lead him to the best results. 

“It’s Konan,” Kabuto says, his voice finally cutting through the air.

Orochimaru hums in acknowledgement, continuing with the pull of his scalpel from throat to navel. “I wasn’t aware she held any interest in you.” 

“I doubt she knows I’m in Konoha at all.” 

“Then, why exactly are you mentioning her to me at all?” he asks with only the slightest twinge of curiosity.

“She was in direct contact with someone in the village for approximately an hour last Wednesday morning.” Kabuto waits until Orochimaru looks up before continuing, “The rest of her day was spent wandering through the market, but she disappeared for a short while before leaving Konoha entirely in the late evening.” 

Trust the Akatsuki to be as annoying as possible. 

Orochimaru raises an unimpressed brow at the already sealed skin. Hardly a line stays behind as proof of the incision he made, despite the subject’s current dehydration. Something must have been missed in his research. Their location could theoretically allow the subject to pull in water from the air, but he had dismissed the thought at an earlier stage. If that is really the case, he might be forced to transfer Hozuki to a base with a warmer climate.

Not that such a hypothesis can be proven without significant testing. The scalpel buries deeper into the subject’s flesh with the second cut, and he pins the skin away from the incision. It will only be a temporary solution, at best.

“Who did she contact?” he muses, almost absentmindedly. Kabuto has a lot of explaining to do if he wants to convince him that this was worth risking his cover, Akatsuki or no Akatsuki. “I doubt she would have left Ame for nothing.” 

“Uzumaki Rin. She also seems to have taken an interest in the Uchiha boy’s teammate.” 

Orochimaru frowns at the unfamiliar name, before dismissing it. An Uzumaki spy is not outside of the realm of possibilities. “The jinchuuriki have always interested the Akatsuki.” 

The incision is closing again, nearly fighting against the measures he had put in place. Interesting, because it could have formed new skin, instead of attempting to force the pins out. Is there built-in knowledge about what the subject is meant to look like? Or perhaps the dehydration is having an effect on the subject’s ability to regenerate new tissue.

Rejection of foreign material will clearly be another route for him to look into. If nothing else, there will be more information to add to his notes tonight. 

“Not him,” Kabuto says, cautiously. “Haruno Sakura.” 

“And? She is insignificant, is she not?” 

“Yes. Her relationship with Sasuke is shaky at best and she displays no unusual traits herself. Uzumaki Naruto is much more interesting in that regard, but I believe she was the one to approach Konan. One of my sources says she wants periodic updates on the girl.” 

“And this… Uzumaki Rin?” Orochimaru places the bloody scalpel onto the tray, reaching instead for the still-sanitized scissors. Removal of tissue might very well force regeneration. “Has someone finally come forward to claim the name of Uzumaki?” 

Kabuto hums, soft and knowing. “He arrived in Konoha a couple months ago. I thought it practical to avoid him.”

“Due to ANBU supervision, yes. You’ve always been paranoid of data you haven’t gathered yourself.” 

“My apologies, Orochimaru-sama, but-” 

“I doubt he has been entirely isolated if Konan was able to visit him. It is such a shame that you continue to stumble over the basics after years of such loyal service.” 

He sets the scissors back down, just as pristine as they were moments ago, and turns to look at Kabuto. 

Kabuto only just manages to hide his gaze, head bowed in false submission. Long moments pass before he lifts his head again, inconsequential in the long term, but a clear show of false loyalty. How often has Orochimaru reprimanded subordinates for not recognizing their role? Certainly not as often as Kabuto seems to believe. 

Then their eyes meet, and the silent challenge is unmistakeable. That had not been there when Kabuto left for Konoha the first time, at least not directed towards him. Something about Konoha must have influenced him. Or it could have been lying in wait this entire time. More data is required for a satisfying conclusion, but Orochimaru can’t say he’s displeased by the development. 

Amused is more accurate.

“Do you have something to say, Kabuto-kun?” he asks. 

Kabuto stands taller, ever the fool. “Orochimaru-sama, I’m simply wondering if you should go ahead with the plan. Your hold on Oto is still new, and information from Ame has mysteriously dried up, presumably for everyone. Iwa and Kumo may not act as they normally do because of it.” 

Orochimaru hasn’t seen such prideful vanity in a while now. 

Grasping opportunities as they come doesn’t seem to even occur to Kabuto, not if he can’t see moving against Konoha as one such opportunity. 

His fingers tap against the metal tray once, twice, three times over. Watching that bit of backbone grow will be interesting in the future, but for now, he needs his shinobi loyal. If he allows his subordinates to question his plans so openly, that will be impossible. 

The snake in the corner of the room lifts her head in a silent question. As unfortunate as it is to wake her from the warmth beneath the table, his gaze flickers back to Kabuto. 

She moves with startling accuracy, the call to action a simple joy as her thick coils tighten around Kabuto’s legs. Captivating is always the word Orochimaru will use to describe her, and he doesn’t bother to hide a hint of a smile. This could be enough to show Kabuto where he stands, but a little bit of fun works so well for everyone. 

If the little spy wishes to become more powerful, he needs to learn that there are consequences to his actions.

“Who do you think Iwa and Kumo will support?” 

Kabuto swallows, his gaze pinned to the snake’s head as she slows around his hips. “No one.” 

“Correct.” A smirk tugs at the corners of his lips. “It would take a lot more than this to make supporting Konoha worth it for either of them. However, I’m curious why you thought they might.” 

“I-” 

“Hmm?” 

Kabuto’s breath falters as her iridescent coils squeeze tighter. Bruises will undoubtedly appear almost as soon as the pressure disappears. They won’t cause permanent damage, but they will linger well into the weeks ahead without medical ninjutsu. 

Orochimaru taps again, twice, once, and then twice again. 

Her coils loosen before she moves up over Kabuto’s shoulder, retreating back to her spot beneath the table. The impressive length of her body follows after her for several seconds, just as long as it takes for Kabuto’s legs to give out beneath him. A touch of green lingers on his fingertips, nearly unnoticeable. 

After a moment, Kabuto pushes himself back up to his feet, his legs shaking, but his back straight and tall. 

“I’m waiting, Kabuto-kun.” 

“Those considerations are irrelevant, Orochimaru-sama,” Kabuto murmurs as he pushes his glasses back up. “I shouldn’t have questioned your judgement.”


	15. a full world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It was a world full of feelings that I didn’t have words for yet.”_ -Ava Dellaira, _Love Letters to the Dead_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for the lovely feedback! You wouldn't believe how many times I re-wrote the middle scene, gah, it gave me so much trouble. Not entirely certain if I'm satisfied with it as it is now but I've fiddled with it too many times to write it again.

“I still don’t understand why we’re here,” Naruto comments, poking at his food. “We could have just eaten at your place.” 

Rin doesn’t hide his smile, and it only grows when Naruto automatically grins back. “I know, but a treat every now and then is good too.” 

“Ichiraku’s could have been a treat.” 

Rin just laughs. 

Apparently this place is healthier than Ichiraku’s. 

Iruka-sensei tried to bring him to other places too. Neither him or Rin understand that he goes to Ichiraku’s because it’s the best, not because other food isn’t good too. Other shops make his stomach growl when he walks past too, but not quite like it does around Ichiraku’s. Plus, ramen has everything he could possibly need already in it with the occasional vegetables added in on top of that. 

“Do you like this too, at least?” Rin asks. 

He doesn’t sound quite as eager as he has the handful of times he’s made food for Naruto himself, but he still waits patiently for an answer. 

Naruto is still getting used to that. 

“It’s alright,” he says with a shrug, pausing briefly to shovel more food into his mouth. “It still isn’t as good as ramen though.” 

Rin smiles at him, nearly beaming. “I’ll keep that in mind then. It’ll be your turn to pick next week, but after that, there’s this place down the street I’ve been eyeing up. Their miso soup apparently isn’t the best, but I’ve heard their tamagoyaki is great.” 

His breath catches. “My turn?” 

Taking turns sounds like something the kids in his class used to do before they graduated. It feels different from showing up at Rin’s most mornings to take advantage of delicious, home cooked food. 

Technically, Naruto hasn’t moved in yet. But a few days ago, he accidentally fell asleep on the couch and found himself in the spare bedroom come morning. Rin didn’t say anything when he came back from his training, just started making breakfast with only a cheerful good morning. It hasn’t happened again since then. Naruto hasn’t admitted just how amazing that felt, not to anyone. 

“Of course,” Rin says, easily. “I want to find out what all of your favourite foods are. They can’t all be ramen.” 

“What? Why would you want to know something like that?” 

“Because it’s a part of who you are.” 

Any arguments Naruto had quickly die in the back of his throat and he looks down at his bowl. 

Sasuke used to do things like that, sometimes, but never like this. Naruto would always come to school with nothing to eat, having only belatedly realized that everything in his fridge had expired, and then Sasuke would mention he had made too much for dinner the night before. 

Of course, all of that disappeared when him and Sasuke started fighting. He wasn’t about to eat dinner with some teme who thought he couldn’t even pass the graduation exam. Half of what Sasuke cooked was always burnt anyways, and the other half still raw. Being forced to eat it had been some weird form of torture that Sasuke refused to acknowledge as such.

“Where did you even learn how to cook?” Naruto asks, abruptly. 

Rin blinks, food halfway to his mouth. “Huh?” 

“Cooking!” Naruto waves his chopsticks in the air, emphasizing his point. “It’s really difficult! And the teme would never explain anything to me when I asked, so I figure it has to be some sort of secret technique. Only he’s really bad at it.” 

“Ah.” Rin is smiling again, holding back laughter, but Naruto doesn’t have the first idea what’s so funny. “I actually had this sensei when I was just a bit older than you are now.” 

“And he taught you how to cook?” 

Rin laughs for real this time, shaking his head. “No, we travelled together for nearly two years and I don’t think I saw him cook once. But he kept telling me to try cooking different things and use different spices until I started figuring it out for myself.” 

Naruto quickly deflates. “Oh.” 

“I could teach you though, if you wanted.”

“You mean I could make food like yours anytime I wanted?” he asks, excitement growing again. 

“Well, it’ll take a bit of work first, but yeah, you would.” 

A wide grin spreads across Naruto’s face at the thought. Only the table between them stops him from launching himself at Rin right this very moment. Learning how to cook will only be slightly better than eventually showing Sasuke what real food is meant to taste like. He can already picture the wowed look on his face. First, Naruto has to get him to actually accept, but that’s something to worry about later. 

Rin reaches across the table anyways, ignoring the mandatory noise of protest as he starts to mess up Naruto’s hair. Both of them are laughing though by the time he pulls away again, and Naruto will never get over just how amazing this all is. Nobody has ever touched him so freely before. They’ve always hesitated or just avoided it altogether, without exception. It’s difficult to remember that Rin hasn’t been in the village for long sometimes. That isn’t as weird as Rin being a former mercenary for hire, like Zabuza, but without the stuff about a former village. 

_All the more reason for you to rip his throat out. Even if the smell of him weren’t offensive, things without loyalties shouldn’t be trusted._

The furious grumble makes his laughter slowly fade away. 

Comments like that are the only things Naruto ever hears from the demon. Sasuke gets the brunt of it, most of the time, the anger contained to his own head, but it’s been getting more common lately. Before graduating from the Academy, Naruto had never heard it at all. Something about Rin keeps setting the Kyuubi off too, sometimes all-consuming. At least Sasuke deserves having someone point out how much of a bastard he is. 

But Naruto can deal with it. All he has to do is ignore it, pretend like nothing has changed since Iruka-sensei protected him that one time. 

Who knows what will happen if people figure out the Kyuubi isn’t quite as sealed away as they think it is. 

They hadn’t even liked him before. 

“Is something wrong, Naruto-kun?” 

Naruto almost falters at the genuine question, before he plasters a grin across his face. “I was just picturing the look on the teme’s face once he realizes I can cook and he can’t.” 

Rin stares for a few, long moments, but Naruto doesn’t let his smile falter. Not even the constant sound of dripping water distracting him from the back of his mind. The demon shifts, nearly rolling its eyes, then huffs. 

_Whatever, just don’t fucking cry when you end up dead._

The Kyuubi settles, like a cat searching for the best spot to lay before it falls back asleep. It sleeps a lot. Annoying comment and sleeping seems to be the only things giant monsters of mass destruction are good for. There will be a few hours of quiet before it decides to bother him again, at least. Not that it usually bothers him during training without Sasuke right there beside him. 

“That will be hilarious to see,” Rin says, with a laugh. “Anyways, have you thought up any strategies for the exam?” 

Naruto stops and stares across the table. “Strategies?”

“Yeah, strategies.You could probably pass without them, but the exam will include fighting and genin you graduated with might be there too. So, you want to know what to do if you have to fight them, don’t you?” 

“But-” 

He cuts himself off, frowning.

Fighting against them just feels wrong. Sparring is different, somehow. Using what he knows about them from years of working together to defeat them is betraying them. No, it isn’t just betraying them, it’s betraying the village and everyone else. They’re supposed to be on the same side, fighting for the same reasons.

Technically, Naruto knows that isn’t how it works, at least not during an exam. If he goes up against someone he knows, than he won’t hold anything back. They better not hold anything back against him either. 

That doesn’t make it any easier.

Rin reaches across the table to touch his wrist. “This way, you can show them just how much you’ve grown since graduation.” 

“I know,” he mutters, stiffly. “It just doesn’t feel right.” 

“It’s not as if you’re going to tell the first person you see what you know about your former classmates. If anything, they will respect you more for thinking of them as actual opponents.” 

“They’re still my teammates. Maybe not like Sasuke and Sakura-chan are, but if I really have to fight them, then I’ll think up something on the spot and not a moment before!”

“Alright.” 

Naruto blinks as Rin pulls his hand away. 

There wasn’t the slightest hint of hesitance in Rin’s reply. There still isn’t any disappointment in the way Rin is watching him, nothing that he’s used to seeing there. This isn’t even the response Naruto got before he left for Wave. 

Something about Rin has been different ever since that woman showed up, maybe even before then. He’s almost been more there, except that’s weird. Rin has been there this entire time, not counting the month Naruto spent in Wave, and that’s only because Naruto was on a mission. 

Maybe it’s something about the woman herself. Sakura-chan hasn’t exactly been the same as usual since then either, and he saw them talking before him and Rin came along. She hasn’t asked Sasuke out on a date since then, at least. Plus, she’s been wearing different clothes and pinning her hair back. Maybe that woman does something to people, something that changes them.

Maybe she stuck Naruto into a genjutsu where everything is the same, except slightly different.

“Huh, Naruto-kun? What’s with that look on your face?”

* * *

“You have to prepare for the chance that you’ll never unlock the Sharingan,” Kakashi says, almost mocking. “A strong base of taijutsu would even help you if you do unlock it. After the exam, we can work on extending your knowledge of ninjutsu and genjutsu.”

Sasuke ducks his head and scowls. “What do you even know about it?” 

“Not much, in your opinion. However, I am the closest you’ll get to a teacher in this regard,” Kakashi replies.

The truth of that statement hits a little too close to home. 

Itachi is the only other member of his clan left alive, and Sasuke would rather march himself right to the Raikage than look towards him for help. And by some strange turn of events, his sensei just happens to have a Sharingan himself. 

Not that Kakashi has bothered to explain where he got it from, no matter how often Sasuke demands an answer. There have been far more excuses than he can count, actually. Excuses and a startling habit of disappearing whenever Sasuke is in the area. His hands clench into fists, every last bit of his being wishing for someone else to be around to teach him. 

“If the Sharingan does manifest in you, there is a good chance that it will happen during the exam.” 

Kakashi must be staring at him now. Sasuke can’t bring himself to look up and check, to ask why, to give into even a moment’s consideration that an outside knows more about his own clan than he does. It would be that same too-steady gaze Kakashi always has. The same gaze that always makes him want to demand why Kakashi doesn’t see him for who he is. 

A frustrated shout from the other side of the training ground finally makes him look up. He doesn’t acknowledge Kakashi, just turns to look over his shoulder and snort at what he sees there. 

There has to be at least a dozen different scrolls surrounding Naruto, with ink splattered everywhere. Naruto likely has it all over his face as well, smeared from an absent rub of his cheek. It’s difficult to see with Naruto collapsed backwards onto the ground, his legs still folded in front of him. Maybe he’s finally accepted that learning how to make seals is a hopeless cause. 

Whatever made Rin think Naruto had the attention span for something like fuinjutsu is a mystery to Sasuke. But that’s probably why Rin is leaning against a tree, his eyes focused up at the sky, right where he’s been for the last two hours. 

“Unfortunately, Naruto-kun can’t give you the means to be prepared for the Sharingan,” Kakashi says, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

Sasuke scowls again. “He probably knows more about it than you do.” 

“You could ask him, if you want.” 

That sounds like an even stupider idea than continuing to listen to this stupid lecture. 

A high-pitched scream echoes through the training grounds, followed by the quick whip of branches, all one after another. His mouth twitches when he doesn’t hear the final crash to the ground. 

Speaking of stupid things, whatever Kakashi got Sakura to do is also worse than this lecture. The balloon she was forced to hold has almost certainly fallen to the ground again, for one. He doesn’t understand what walking from the ground to the top of a tree while holding a balloon is supposed to do, but Sakura had agreed to the training without a word of complaint. A thud, now far quieter, follows and Sasuke stares ahead. 

Sakura doesn’t need him to check to make sure she’s alright. Even if she did, he would prefer to get someone else to do it. 

“No?” Kakashi asks, amusement seeped into his voice. “And here I thought the two of you were good friends.” 

“Where did you get that idea-”

“Hey, teme!” 

Sasuke startles, automatically turning towards the source of the voice.

His mouth opens at the sight of Naruto sprinting towards him. Something is in Naruto’s hand, something thin and-

A seal. 

His mouth closes again and he ducks down, fully intending to charge forwards and deliver a solid punch to Naruto’s gut. But Naruto is already prepared for that possibility. He uses his free hand to launch himself over Sasuke’s shoulder, then pivots, his hand landing on Sasuke’s face with a loud smack. 

Sasuke pushes Naruto away at the last moment, but the damage is already done. The paper seal couldn’t get anymore stuck on his face if it tried. 

It tingles slightly, the telltale sign of an active seal, but not much more than that. If he didn’t know any better, he would say that Naruto just managed to produce a dud. 

Then he looks up. 

Naruto stares back at him, his lips gently parted. Sasuke scowls automatically, and steps to the side, but Naruto’s gaze follows a little too closely. 

Except Naruto isn’t the only one. Sasuke catches Rin’s gaze next, over on the other side of the clearing, and then he can’t quite manage to shake the other Uzumaki either. It’s almost like they can’t focus on anything else. A glance over his shoulder confirms that Kakashi is doing the same thing, unable to look away. His stomach plummets when he looks back at Naruto. None of the others have that clear cut amazement written across their faces that Naruto has. 

“What did you do to me?” he hisses, sharply. 

The amazement clears, but Naruto just scratches at his cheek. “I don’t… know?” 

What if he’s stuck like this forever, all because of some idiotic mistake Naruto made? Heat travels from his cheeks down the back of his neck and he reaches up to rub at the seal. There has to be some way to get it off, even if he has to pick it off himself. 

“Ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Sasuke-kun. If Naruto isn’t the one to release it, the effects may be permanent,” Kakashi muses from behind him. 

Sasuke freezes, his fingers still touching the seal. 

“Stop being such an asshole, Kakashi-kun.” Sasuke must have been too distracted to notice Rin approach, but now he fills Sasuke’s vision, leaning down to take a good look at the seal. “No seal is permanent, not without proper maintenance. You know that as well as I do.” 

“Ah, but should Sasuke-kun take your word for it, Rin-chan?” 

His scowl deepens, even as Rin shrugs. “Sasuke-kun is allowed to believe what he wants. The seal will still wear off in a couple hours if it isn’t released.” 

“It… can be released, right?” Naruto speaks up. 

“Of course.” Rin moves to the side and points at a spot on Sasuke’s cheek. “That’s where you went wrong, Naruto-kun. Even accidental strokes matter when it comes to seals. This one just changed the misdirection seal into a redirection seal, turning people’s attention towards him, rather than away from him.” 

Sasuke automatically pulls back as Rin jabs two fingers onto the seal. Rin pulls his hand away with a gin, and the seal falls harmlessly to the ground, at last. 

Immediately, everyone redirects their gaze elsewhere and the jumbled feeling of his gut finally eases. Having so many eyes on him at once is far more nerve-racking than he would have thought, all because of Naruto. Punching the dobe in the gut would probably make him feel a lot better, at least. He just can’t bring himself to do it when he looks up and sees the relief painted across Naruto’s face. 

That has certainly never stopped him before. He crosses his arms in front of him and continues to scowl as he waits for them to leave again. 

They don’t leave. 

Instead, Sakura walks over from the bushes and reaches down to grab the ink-stained seal from the ground. “If it’s that easy to mix up misdirection and redirection, what would the seal for invisibility look like?” 

Naruto turns towards her and beams. “I was wondering about that too! How cool would it be to turn invisible?” 

“It would definitely have a lot of advantages against enemies too, especially on a stealth mission.” 

“Oh! You could just sneak in and steal all of their top-secret scrolls!” 

“Or ambush someone before they even know you’re there.” 

“Actually, the seal for invisibility is completely different. I don’t really know why, but it also makes it really obvious that something should be there,” Rin cuts in. “The misdirection seal usually works better because of that, but I could show you the differences, if you want. Both of you.”

Sakura’s face immediately lights up. “Could you?” 

“Only if Naruto-kun is okay with it too.” 

“Of course I’m okay with it! C’mon, Sakura-chan, I’ll show you the misdirection seal too!” 

Sasuke’s stomach drops as Naruto all but drags Sakura back to the collection of scrolls spread out across the ground. Rin follows after a moment, leaving him standing there alone with Kakashi. 

Now he’s being the stupid one in all this. 

Kakashi drops a hand on his shoulder, and he immediately shrugs it off again. “Tell me how to activate the Sharingan.” 

“You should already know that it isn’t that simple,” Kakashi answers, his voice low. “There’s no ability in our world that just bursts into being. Not even the Sharingan.” 

“That isn’t what I was asking.” 

“My answer is still no.”

* * *

Rin leans back with a sigh, tucking his kunai back into his pouch for the first time in hours. The curve of the carving is difficult to see in the limited bits of moonlight shining through the thick terrain of branches above. Tonight will still be better than any other, because even the slightest bit of cloud would almost guarantee that he would end up stumbling into a bear’s den. 

His finger runs over the deep cuts in the base of the tree. They’re far from the delicate, artful strokes found in his scrolls. Instead, each twist and turn is purposeful and practical, the byproduct of hastily throwing seals together on the fly, rather than taking any time to understand what they mean.

Sakura understood. 

Half of the questions she came up with this afternoon had never occurred to him. Then Naruto’s attempts to come up with creative ways to use them only drove her mind to further depths, things he’d never even considered. Rin has never thought so deeply about what makes seals work in his life, even having used them for so long. 

More surprising is probably that he enjoyed it. They hadn’t gotten much further than misdirection seals, but even that much made him want to dive back into scrolls he hadn’t touched in years, just to answer some of their questions. 

If things hadn’t worked out the way they had, maybe he would have really enjoyed teaching. 

A soft thud from above grabs his attention and Rin stops, pulling his fingers away from his seal. The thick, twisting nature chakra here makes it nearly impossible to sense chakra. But had he gotten so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed other signs? There aren’t any more seals left to place, but a lot more would be at stake if he was caught making them. They might change the entire exam. 

“You’re just about the last person I thought I’d find skulking around here, Rin-kun!” 

Rin stands, searching the branches above. It turns out to be for nothing, because a woman jumps down a moment later, her face shrouded in dark shadows. All he can see is her wide grin, far wider than it should be. 

He shifts back. 

She steps forwards.

“Kurenai-senpai didn’t mention you were afraid of me, Rin-kun,” she says, needlessly drawing out his name. “Unless it’s something about this place?” 

“Do we know each other?” 

Her grin falters, and she stops. “You mean Kurenai-senpai didn’t tell you all about her most adorable kouhai? Oh, she’s going to hear it when we go out for drinks tomorrow. Or I could tell you all the stories about how much of a clingy drunk she is.” She sticks out her hand purposely, clearly not as oblivious to their circumstances as her words imply. “Mitarashi Anko! Maybe you recognize me now?” 

Her tan trench coat falls further open, revealing the well-filled fishnet of her shirt underneath. The thick ropes of muscle in her shoulders is almost as eye-catching as her chest, and her easy posture suggests nothing but pride in both. 

Rin takes her hand. “Uzumaki Rin, but, heh, I guess you already know that. What are you doing out here?” 

“If I remember correctly, I asked you that first.” She peers at him carefully, before letting go of his hand. “But if you’re really so curious, than the Hokage wanted this area patrolled until the exam.” 

“He did?” 

Anko snorts. “No. This place is strictly off limits, even for you.” 

“Then what-” 

“Don’t throw stones now, Rin-kun,” she murmurs. The light catches a hard edge to the curve of her smile as she tilts her head to the side. His following surprise gives her the perfect opportunity to slip around him and kneel in front of the tree. “This is some impressive work. Did you know it only affects animals?” 

“And summons,” he adds. 

“Ah, my mistake. They’d have to have a keen sense of smell to begin with though, wouldn’t they?” 

“Uh-huh.” 

“It almost looks like its creator had a particular summon in mind when they made it.” 

Rin laughs awkwardly as Anko takes a closer look at the seal. The chances that she didn’t see him carving it are a lot slimmer than they should be, and she seems to be taking advantage of that as much as she can. Everything Kurenai said about her last week certainly makes a lot more sense. 

“You know,” Anko starts again. “I hear there’s been a lot of fighting in the Warring States. More than usual, even.” 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

She barks a laugh, then shakes her head. “I took a look at the registration list this afternoon and there’s a whole hidden village participating that I’ve never heard of before. That’s got to throw somethings off-balance, don’t you think?” 

He does.

But Anko must be taking quite the leap of faith by going from a new village participating in the exam to wandering through the Forest of Death. Only the most extensive network throughout both Oto and Suna would connect those dots, and Rin is almost certain that such a network doesn’t exist. She stands abruptly, making eye contact before Rin can glance away. 

“I knew it.” Her smile falters, but it comes back so quickly that Rin almost thinks he imagined it. “Or rather someone. Someone who would be more than interested in building a village on the strength of orphan children and then running it.” 

“Why didn’t you talk to the Hokage about it then?” Rin asks, hesitant.

“Why didn’t you?” 

Rin falls silent. 

Her gusto fades after a moment, and she sighs. “I tried, okay? But the old man doesn’t think my ‘unfounded concerns’ are enough of a reason to be cautious around this new village.” 

The last bit of caution fades away, as the pieces fall into place. 

If the person leading Oto is who Anko thinks it is, then it isn’t much of a stretch to think they would sabotage the exam. If the Hokage wasn’t going to prepare for that possibility, she would make sure nothing happened herself. She might even go so far as to bypass sleep in order to patrol the Forest of Death, without permission. 

The only difference between them is that Rin knows Orochimaru is preparing for an attack, while Anko is just acting on guesswork.

“Are you going to tell the Hokage about this?” he asks.

Anko huffs, tilting her chin upwards. “Just who do you think I am? Tattle-tailing is for rats. Besides, then all this fun would be ruined and Kurenai-senpai would never let it go if she thought I was trying to help her snot-nosed brats.” 

“A deal, then. You keep quiet about this, and…” 

“And you tell me when that bastard shows up,” she finishes. Her gaze flickers back to the seal, and she frowns. “You do have some sort of alarm built into those fancy seals of yours, don’t you?” 

“Ah, it’s a two-part seal. First, it tells me if someone above chūnin level summons something in this general area. Then it cuts off their sense of smell, as a precaution.” 

Anko whistles lowly. “Kurenai-senpai really wasn’t lying when she said you were hiding something between all of that red hair.” 

The compliment makes him grin.


	16. great things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I just love the thought that great things are coming. No matter what you’re currently going through, there’s so much to look forward to.”_ -Anonymous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnnnnd... the fight with Orochimaru! Did you think things were going to be easy? I hope you didn't think things were going to be easy.

Sakura smiles at herself in the mirror. 

She lets it drop again after a few moments, replaced by a grim line of determination. Smiling doesn’t quite feel right, so she just has to hope that punching someone’s face in will feel better.

The image of her punching Naruto does give her a brief satisfaction. Out of the three of them, he’s the one she needs to worry about. Even their final exam in the Academy didn’t require her to rely on someone else’s skills, but maybe that’s part of the point. She isn’t the same person she was a few months ago. 

With two hours left before she needs to meet up with Naruto and Sasuke, there isn’t much point in speculating. Regardless of some possible secret purpose, she is going to do it. Who knows what Naruto and Sasuke will get into without her around. 

There isn’t much more Sakura can do to prepare for the exam in these next couple hours. All three of the scrolls she prepared for herself sit beneath her kunai pouch, tied just tight enough that she doesn’t have to think about them. Her sleeveless top is still a bit loose around the shoulders, no matter what she does. Not that Sasuke even noticed when she first wore this outfit to training, not in the way she wanted him to. Having her hair tied back into a bun is her own little revenge at that. 

If Sasuke isn’t going to notice her anyways, then she isn’t going let her hair get into her way. Then he can see just how strong she really is and weep over what he missed out on.

Sakura pinches her bicep and frowns at the distinct lack of muscle there. At least she isn’t quite as thin as she was before Wave. Dropping weight has always been easier for her than gaining muscle. She used to be alright with that. Not being able to run as fast as the boys always seemed like something inevitable, rather than something she could change. 

Without muscle though, these clothes will never fit her properly. Something in her chest hurts when she think about bringing the clothes in to get tailored though. Sakura might never know what Angel was thinking when she left the outfit outside her bedroom window, but they feel like something to strive towards. They’re higher quality than anything she can afford, less likely to make her stand out than her other clothes. Ino wouldn’t question why Angel would spend money on her instead of someone from her own village. 

Maybe Ino has some pointers on training, so long as she doesn’t think she can surpass her. Just that Sakura knows Kakashi-sensei’s training is more than a bit odd, and there’s a slight chance Ino’s sensei doesn’t make her walk up trees while holding a balloon. 

There are worse things to be than strong. 

Heavy footsteps fall on the stairs and Sakura smooths out the wrinkles in her skirt, turning once they reach her bedroom. 

Her father leans against the doorframe and offers a wide, lazy grin. “You all ready, sweetie?” 

“No,” Sakura says, quickly. 

“You sure?” He looks her up and down, his gaze lingering on her scrolls. “It sure looks like you’re ready.” 

“I still need another six months to train, at least. And I don’t know how long the exams lasts, so I can’t decide whether or not to pack an extra pair of clothes.” Sakura groans as she turns the dilemma over in her head. If only something about this could be simple. “The problem is that if I do bring more clothes, I’ll need a backpack and nobody else is going to have a backpack!” 

“Right. And what’s in the scrolls?” he asks, amused.

“They’re not storage scrolls!” 

Her father snorts, his grin still perfectly in place. “Well, how about you come downstairs and join your mother and I for one last meal before you leave? That way you can think it over a bit more before you decide.”

* * *

Whoever thought to put half of the families belonging to the Council in one room must have been either sadistic or delusional. That would certainly explain the couches. Chairs might not be as comfortable, but at least people can properly split into groups that way. 

From the doorway, Iruka can only see a handful of free spots. Each of them is at the edge of a couch, part of one of the bigger shinobi families filling the rest. 

Nobody else would have so many problems picking a place to sit. But if Iruka sits with the Nara, then one of the Hyuuga will approach him by the end of the week and ask how he continues to hold his position when he shows preferential treatment. Only if he sits with the Hyuuga, then one of the new Yamanaka boys will put frogs in his desk drawer first thing tomorrow morning. 

_This is definitely revenge_ was what Kotetsu’s smile said when Iruka went to the jounin lounge. _This is what happens when you nearly tell Izumo about my feelings_ was what his awkward laughter suggested. Iruka had little choice except to retreat and prepare for his counterattack. That would come later though. 

“C’mon, Iruka, you can do this,” he mutters to himself. “There has to be someone you can sit with.” 

“You could always sit with me, Iruka-sensei.” 

Iruka straightens and his jaw automatically clenches. Of all the foolish things he expected out of Naruto, this ranks just about last, but a bit of luck might-

Naruto doesn’t normally come up to his eyes.

Nor does Naruto have red hair, he realizes, swallowing back the lump in the back of his throat. No one has red hair like that anymore, like the sunset spilled out over the horizon, like autumn leaves, like freshly spilled blood. The last person who did was Uzumaki Kushina, and she was always more of an icon than an actual person. 

Uzumaki Rin’s grin falters. “I got that right, didn’t I? Naruto-kun has talked about you a lot, so-” 

“Yeah, you - you got it right. Uzumaki Rin, right?” he says, faintly. 

“Heh, I should have guessed that Naruto-kun’s sensei was smart enough to put that together so quickly.” 

The way Rin beams at him is so similar to what Naruto looks like after Iruka buys him dinner that it’s uncanny. Everything about him is so similar to Naruto that his knees nearly feel weak, desperate for him to sit down. 

His eyes rake over Rin’s features, trying to find something different. There has to be some differences between Rin and Naruto, something other than the way Rin’s jaw is a bit slimmer, his eyes narrower. Those things could very well come with age. Those hopeful blue eyes are still all but identical to the eyes Iruka had focused on him for years.

Uncanny isn’t something that happens often in his line of work. 

What Iruka needs is an explanation, one that makes more sense than genetics and a mix of good luck. Naruto can’t be in on it, first of all, whatever it is. He’s seen Naruto more than once or twice since Uzumaki Rin first arrived in the village, and Naruto isn’t great at keeping secrets. But any explanations Iruka is going to come up with by himself are going to be far more outlandish than they should be. 

Rin’s smile starts to fade again, and Iruka rushes to fix that. “You were saying something about us sitting together? That would probably be my best bet right about now.” 

“Of course! I actually saved myself a seat earlier, but maybe the spot next to it is still free?” Rin asks himself. 

Iruka opens his mouth just as Rin steps past him, as simple as that. No one spares him a second glance when he follows behind. 

It all seems a bit too simple now. Too simple even for him to absentmindedly mention to Kotetsu that sitting with the parents wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be. Kotetsu would never believe it, anyways. They’ve both complained about having to deal with stubborn jounin too much. 

His gaze stays focused on Rin the entire walk to the other side of the room, anyways, searching for similarities. There are differences in the way Rin and Naruto walk, and he tries not to contribute that to age and training. Naruto will get over his moments of clumsiness. But would that explain the smooth way Rin moves around the couches, each step soft and indistinct from the next? 

Iruka can’t know for certain. The image of Naruto standing behind him can’t be shaken from his mind though, regardless of how much he tries. 

“I’m actually surprised you recognized me so easily, Rin-san,” he says quietly, as they sit. “Naruto-kun isn’t normally so skilled at describing people.” 

Rin glances over at him, settling back into the seat, and shares a small smile. “He really isn’t, is he?” 

Still nothing to prove his theory one way or another. 

He might just have to settle for not knowing. Making a scene about something potentially so far off-base here would only result in raising the tensions even more than they already are. 

Someone should have stopped so many potential clan heirs from taking part in the same Chūnin Exam. 

“Actually,” Rin says, soft enough to sound like he’s sharing a secret, “I probably recognized you because you remind me of someone I used to know. The two of you give off the same feeling, you know?” 

Iruka blinks, taken aback. “Feeling?” 

“Yeah, feeling. Like you care so much, but then it frustrates you, because you feel like you aren’t doing enough to help.” 

Rin ducks his head, just as Iruka’s mouth goes dry. “They must have been quite important to you.” 

“He really was.” 

Thick strands of red hair fall into Rin’s face, momentarily hiding his expression from Iruka. Sad is the word that immediately comes to mind, and that makes him want to push and prod and ask, just to dislodge the emotion from Rin entirely. 

If Rin is Naruto, if Iruka’s hunch is correct against all logic, then there must be a reason. A reason beyond Naruto wanting to watch himself take his exam. Something that, in this moment, only feels big and weighty enough that Iruka knows he can’t take the weight of it off of Rin’s shoulders. He can’t even picture what he would do to help. It’s better to shove his suspicions back, at least until something changes, for better or for worse. 

“Sounds like he was family, then.” His heart skips a beat when Rin turns and gives him a faltering smile, and he purposely keeps his hands loose at his sides. Pulling Rin into a hug now would only make things more complicated. “I hope that doesn’t make you worry about Naruto-kun too much.” 

“Worry?” 

“Of course. I know that you’ve never taken the Chūnin Exam before, but it’s a lot more difficult than you might think.” 

The faltering fades to just a smile, one that has Iruka rethinking his life choices as Rin shakes his head. “Trust me, there’s no need to worry about them.”

Them, as in not just Naruto. 

Them, as in the entirety of Team Seven. 

More confidence couldn’t be pushed into that sentiment if Rin had tried. It almost reminds Iruka of a few of the pushier parents that come around the Academy, especially after their children has just done something even vaguely impressive. 

Those parents are always the worst to deal with. Iruka just didn’t expect the same sentiment to come out of Rin. It’s a good thing, really. Naruto needs someone like that, needs someone who isn’t afraid of showing how much they care. That person certainly hasn’t been him recently, and it was never going to be Kakashi. 

“Just because you don’t believe it,” Rin continues, oblivious to the bitter quirk of Iruka’s mouth, “doesn’t mean that Team Seven isn’t going to blow away the competition.” 

“Team Seven? That’s Sakura’s team, is it not?” a new voice asks. 

At least this is someone that Iruka does recognize. Haruno Mebuki turns just as a shout echoes from the other side of the room, one of the Yamanaka boys slipping inside. They are not his problem to deal with, Iruka reminds himself, desperate. They are someone else’s problem, regardless of what trouble they get into. 

There is an expectant lift of her eyebrows when she turns back towards them, and Iruka lets his smile grow purposely. The Yamanaka boys will get into trouble, even if he chases after them. “It’s nice to see you here, Haruno-san. I’m sure Team Seven will welcome the support.” 

“More like complain about me embarrassing her,” Mebuki says swiftly, her gaze flickering over to Rin. “Uzumaki-san, isn’t it? Do you mind if I sit here?” 

“Oh, uh, no, of course not!” 

Iruka holds back a laugh as Rin hesitates for a good, long moment before shuffling towards the middle of the couch. Tsume is perched on the other end, deep in conversation with Hana. The sudden lack of space from four people doesn’t seem to phase her, at any rate, but he shouldn’t be surprised about that now. 

“Sakura’s mentioned you a few times, Uzumaki-san.” Mebuki’s words are blunt, but it’s nothing compared to the sight of Rin spluttering. Iruka didn’t think someone could look so caught off guard. “You helped her prepare for this, if I remember correctly. She might not have known what to think of you at first, but I have a feeling you’re the reason she’s been taking being a kunoichi more seriously lately. And for her recent questions.” 

That makes Iruka pay a bit more attention, pulling himself up taller. “She has questions?” 

“It’s perfectly natural, Iruka-sensei.”

“Er, yes, I know that.” 

“I think he’s more wondering what sort of questions Sakura-chan has been having?” Rin jumps in, much to his relief.

Mebuki watches them both carefully, her lips pulled into a thin line, before she elaborates, “Mostly things like what it means to be a shinobi or whether or not Kizashi and I approve of her being a kunoichi. I certainly don’t have any answers for her.” 

Iruka certainly doesn’t have any answers either. 

It’s odd to think of Sakura as someone particularly concerned with deep subjects like that. The only reason she ever seemed to work hard for her grades was because of Sasuke. Sometimes things like that change when you’re actually put on the same team as someone though. 

A lot of perceptions change when it comes to teammates, he remembers, with a faint smile. “You don’t need to worry, Haruno-san. A lot of shinobi end up asking those questions, she’s just a bit earlier than most.” 

“Yes, but-” Mebuki cuts herself off as the genin start to file into the examination room on the screen. “Do you mind if I pick your brain about this later, Umino-san? There has to be something I can do.” 

“Of course, anytime.” 

She nods, absentmindedly, as she focuses on the screen, and Iruka follows her example. 

By the time Ibiki begins explaining the rules of the first portion of the exam, the entire room has gone silent. It isn’t difficult. Write the test within an hour and don’t get caught cheating, with a side note of being disqualified in teams. 

Yet, Iruka’s heart pounds in his chest as the genin flip over their tests and start scribbling down answers. He isn’t the only one staring at the screens, but it certainly feels like it as he leans forward, seeking out Naruto. 

Picking out the full head of blond hair is actually quite simple, and Iruka isn’t surprised to find him beside Hinata. Both of them have always been the type to end up in the middle of the group, not really interacting with anyone else. But there’s no immediate pen to paper reaction for Naruto, not like there are for most of the others. Instead, Naruto stares at the paper, like the answers might magically burst out of it, his pen rocking back and forth between his fingers. 

It takes five minutes for someone to be disqualified. 

They startle when one of the proctors calls them out, their face turning a splotchy red when they’re led out with their teammates. For all that it must increase the tension in the room, it releases around him now like hot air from a balloon. 

Naruto continues glaring down at his paper. It can’t be much longer before he realizes that he doesn’t know any of the answers. Written tests have never been Naruto’s strong point, and this one has jounin-level questions on it. Or so Anko told Iruka last week, when she tried to bribe him into buying her lunch. 

More surprising is the way Rin tenses beside Iruka, hands clenched into the loose fabric of his pants. Iruka knew he couldn’t be as nonchalant about this entire thing as he appeared. 

“Relax, would you?” he mutters. “You’re making me nervous. Naruto probably won’t even think of cheating.” 

“Cheating?” Mebuki asks, her attention briefly wavering from the screen. “I’d hope none of them think something like that is acceptable. This is a very important exam from Sakura has told me. They need to pass on their own merits.”

“I’m sure they will.” 

She relaxes again, and Iruka rolls his eyes. Leave it to a civilian to not recognize the merits of cheating in a high-stress situation. 

Rin stifles a laugh, which makes Mebuki scowl at him this time around. “I don’t think Naruto-kun knows any of the answers either way around. They’re being tested on strategy, right?” 

“Field tactics and various forms of taijutsu,” Iruka automatically corrects. “At least according to Anko. Naruto doesn’t have a head for either of them. Charging straight in and taking on enemies with the flashiest jutsu he can manage, however…” 

“Well, Naruto-kun seems to be writing _something_ down.” 

Iruka slowly looks back at the screen, Mebuki’s comment making him stop.

Sure enough, Naruto is writing something down onto his paper. The tension between his shoulders is gone entirely, replaced with concentration. Even Hinata seemed to have stopped fretting from beside him. 

Iruka blinks. The image of Naruto answering questions doesn’t disappear. Maybe Anko had been wrong this entire time, and the questions weren’t actually that difficult. 

Only that Anko had no reason to lie to him about something like that, not when it wouldn’t personally affect him. The entire test is setup to not just encourage cheating, but to encourage thoughtful cheating. Information is the one thing above all others that can make or break a mission. Besides, there’s no denying that Naruto couldn’t answer those questions just a few minutes ago.

The three of them fall silent as they move into the second half of the test. Another three teams are disqualified in quick succession, each one more distressed than the last with the forty-five minute mark so close. 

Some people left the room as their family members were disqualified from the exam, but the numbers were limited. The compulsion to see who exactly passes must be strong for everyone, Iruka supposes. Even moreso to find out what Ibiki is planning. That’s what makes the whispering start, hushed speculations about who is going to make it to the final round. 

Nobody notices Team Seven, not until Naruto abruptly stands in the middle of the examination room and starts to shout. Iruka glances over at Rin as Naruto does it, and a proud grin is reflected back at him. 

Then Anko crashes through the window.

“That’s… probably my cue to leave, actually,” Iruka says, faintly. 

Anko continues shouting on screen, entirely oblivious to Iruka’s sudden desire to bury his head in his hands and groan. Even Ibiki looks exasperated with her. 

Why had he agreed to help her with her portion of the exam? 

Mebuki tears herself away from the screen first. “So soon?” 

“There’s actually something I need to do. I just wanted to watch Naruto-kun and the others get through to the second round.” He grins at her, faltering only when Anko begins laughing on screen. “Sakura-chan will be fine, I promise.” 

“I’m sure she would appreciate the sentiment, thank you.” 

“You should join me and Naruto-kun for breakfast sometime after the exam,” Rin offers as Iruka stands. 

The surge of warmth is too much for Iruka to ignore. “I’d love that.”

* * *

It seems today was always meant to be an eventful day. Most Chūnin Exams are like that, the result of bringing together shinobi from so many different villages. Back-alley negotiations and small clashes between jounin are just about as common as fighting during the exam itself. 

That isn’t quite what this is. 

Kakashi leans down to take a better look at the spear. Had it just been an ordinary spear stashed behind some bushes, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it. Konoha is a shinobi village, after all. People are always stashing weapons somewhere. 

But the strong, well-worn wood is more familiar than it should be. The few grooves in the shaft tickle his memory. The red silk ribbon tied around the end without a blade makes him frown. Spears like this couldn’t be found in Konoha if someone went purposely looking for them, the style too foreign to be anything other than Kumo or perhaps Kiri. It is also the same spear Rin carries around with him in the mornings, on his way to and from the training grounds.

It is also not something Rin should be leaving stashed in an alleyway on a day like this. 

Speak of the devil. 

Kakashi straightens at the chakra heading in his direction, hardly a block away. The next portion of the exam isn’t for another hour, but the location of the spear and Rin’s sudden appearance is too much to be a coincidence. 

Curiosity, more than anything else, is what makes Kakashi use a Body-Flicker jutsu to move back to a rooftop. Perhaps he should be more concerned about what Rin is planning on doing, on why Rin thinks he needs to carry a weapon through the village after finally settling in. But it seems too out of character for Kakashi to do anything but watch at this point. 

Rin comes into sight after a few moments, bee-lining for the spear. Reckless is the way he spares only a cursory glance to make certain no one is around, and certainly not a glance up to where Kakashi is perched on the edge of the rooftop. Instead, he just slips his spear into the strap across his shoulder. 

Kakashi would have to keep that in mind for the future. If nothing else, it would make for perfectly fine teasing material. 

Rin walks differently with his spear on his back. It makes him seem taller, somehow, and certainly more dangerous. Each step he takes brings him closer to the outskirts of the village, closer to the Forest of Death, and it speaks to Kakashi like its own personal challenge. He has never been particularly good at turning down a challenge. 

Keeping some distance between them is made simple by their straightforward route, though Kakashi quickly has to switch from rooftops to the ground. Secrecy isn’t an issue when most everyone is already headed for the Forest.

If it weren’t for the oddity of the situation, Kakashi likely would have simply walked beside him. 

They reach the Forest of Death a fair amount of time before the second portion of the exam is set to start. Anko seems to be terrorizing the genin, her smirk visible even from a distance. Kakashi can even see Team Seven, seemingly facing the brunt of Anko’s teasing, much to his lack of surprise.

Only Rin doesn’t join the small crowd of people, doesn’t move to wish them good luck before the second part of the exam. Which means Kakashi also stays tucked away in the trees, an even further distance away from everything than Rin is. 

Eventually, scrolls are handed out to each of the teams and they file away to their assigned entrances. Kakashi has seen this particular setup play out a few times before. The mix of strategy and brute strength needed to pass will make it an intense match, particularly for Team Seven. Despite the training him and Rin have been putting them through, their only real combat situation they’ve been in is the run-in with Zabuza. 

Naruto and Sasuke were quick on their feet in that situation, but there’s no telling what skills genin from other villages will have. And Sakura’s own combat experience is far more limited than theirs. 

Then the gates open, and there’s nothing more that Kakashi can do. 

“I didn’t think you’d pick up random passerbys along the way, Rin-kun.” 

Kakashi freezes in place. 

Ignoring Anko walking towards them would be a mistake. Ignoring Anko is usually a mistake, but especially when her grin is just shy of ‘let me see if I can swallow you whole.’ 

Rin shrugs and glances over his shoulder to look at Kakashi. “He’s been quiet, so I figured he wouldn’t make too much of a fuss.” 

Anko’s resulting laughter is far louder than Kakashi feels the situation calls for. 

There goes his opportunity for teasing material then. Kakashi steps forward and beams at them with artificial pride. The situation can’t be as suspicious as he previously thought, if Anko is involved. “I thought I’d try it just this once for you, Rin-chan.”

“Flatterer.” 

Kakashi hums, pausing purposely before, “Does that mean you’re flattered enough to tell me what you’re doing?” 

Rin and Anko exchange a glance, the momentary humour draining out of the situation. Not suspicious may have been too early of an assessment to make. The two of them getting along like a house on fire seems to have been an accurate prediction, however. 

“There’s a snake in the Forest,” Anko admits, trying for casual and landing somewhere around morbid, instead. “A big one. We thought we’d try flushing it out before any kids get swallowed. You in?” 

“It seems I am.”

Rin offers up a smile, growing with each moment. “Thank you.”


	17. my silhouette

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I go through phases. Some days I feel like the person I’m supposed to be, and then some days I turn into no one at all. There is both me and my silhouette. I hope that on the days you find me and all I am are darkened lines, you are still willing to be near me.”_ -Mary Kate Teske

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this chapter took me forever to write out. Or it could just be because the editing did a lot of the heavy lifting for it. Either way, I think I'm finally satisfied with the way it turned out, so I hope you enjoy this bit of a break before the next 2-3 action heavy chapters! And thank you for your wonderful support!

“Sakura-chan, did you see how awesome I was? It was so great!” 

Sasuke rolls his eyes. “Were you even capable of answering a single question on that exam?” 

Naruto’s attention focuses in on him, his eyes bright with righteous anger. “Take that back, teme!” 

“Why would I take back the truth?” 

“Because it’s a lie! I answered every single question on that test,” Naruto insists.

The only way Naruto answered those questions was if he somehow managed to find the answer key beforehand. Sasuke had a difficult enough time answering any of the questions himself. Cheating seemed like the way to go, but everything he could do seemed too obvious, too likely to be picked up by the proctors keeping watch. 

Sasuke doesn’t regret attempting to answer the questions himself, even if he only answered a few of them. That didn’t make it any less of a relief when the whole thing turned out to be a bluff. But Naruto couldn’t become a genius overnight anymore than Sasuke could kill Itachi tomorrow. Strategy has never been his strongest subject, no matter how much Sasuke used to try and drill the basics into his head. 

“Actually,” Sakura suddenly speaks up, “how did you answer any of the questions, Naruto-kun? Some of them were really difficult.” 

Sasuke nearly trips over his own two feet. 

Naruto grins over at both of them, not a trace of guilt visible beneath it. Sasuke should recognize that much, he’s seen that expression more than enough times. “Heh, I just studied really hard.” 

If Sasuke didn’t know any better, he’s say Naruto really believes that. That he expects both of them to believe that.

Sakura frowns, suspicious. “But we didn’t know there would be a written portion to the exam.”

“All of the exams at the Academy had a written portion, though.” 

“I can count on one hand the amount of times you actually showed up for one of those,” Sasuke cuts in. 

Sakura glances over at him, then promptly adds, “And the ones you did show up for, you failed.” 

“Yeah, so? That was back in the Academy. Now, I have to prepare for everything, otherwise I’m never going to become the Hokage.” 

“Meaning you… studied?” 

“Of course!” 

The look Sasuke exchanges with Sakura is heavy with meaning. Neither of them bothered to prepare for a written exam. Sasuke can’t even think of a time where Naruto thought to study for a written exam. Besides, the last couple weeks have been so filled with training, sparring, and learning new techniques that having yesterday to rest had made him itchy all day. Something else has to be going on. 

They would have to pry the truth out of Naruto’s hands alter. His eyes flicker from shadow to shadow, wishing desperately for the Sharingan his heritage promised him. Being on the move helps discourage competitors from eavesdropping, but without the Sharingan, he doesn’t know for certain. 

That aside, they don’t know the abilities of anyone outside of their class. Sakura groans, half desperate behind him, the mud making a loud sucking noise as she pulls her foot out of it. Tension fills him for a brief moment, but he continues going when none of the shadows seem to move. Almost all of the foreign genin in the waiting room looked like they could put up a good fight when it came down to it. Sabaku no Gaara, on the other hand, radiates danger. 

All of this would come down to him, it seemed, one way or another. 

Just how long will it take for the other teams to get their scrolls and then make their way to the tower is the question surrounding all of this. If they get there too early, then they miss seeing what the others’ skills are. If they get there too late, they’ll be exhausted going into the next portion of the exam. 

Sasuke isn’t certain which option would be better, out of the two. Every instinct of his is screaming to charge ahead, to get their scroll and get moving, but that won’t make the next portion of the exam come any faster. 

Besides, doing the opposite of what those instincts say has worked out for him well so far. If they say run, then he needs to run right into the fray. If they say stop, then he needs to keep on moving, so on and so forth.

They hear the explosion first. 

It sounds like corn popping at first, only louder, only with more force behind it. Then the ground shifts beneath their feet, making Sasuke take a step back in order to brace himself. Naruto nearly follows, his hand shooting out to grab hold of a branch at the last possible moment.

Nothing else follows, nothing except for the loud cry of dozens of birds flying overhead. There’s nothing to see either, not with the branches so thick above their heads. In that regard, it might as well be the middle of the night. 

“We should go this way,” Sasuke says, when no further tremors follow. He motions to the direction opposite the explosion, when they look at him. “If we get too close, we’ll just be drawn into the fight.” 

“No.” 

Sasuke and Naruto turn towards Sakura simultaneously. Her cheeks are flushed as she stares back at them, but she doesn’t back down.

“Huh, why not, Sakura-chan?” Naruto asks. 

Her gaze flickers between them and the direction of the explosion, while she worries her bottom lip between her teeth. There must be a reason. Sasuke knows there has to be a reason, because Sakura isn’t like him or Naruto, isn’t someone who can jump into things without a plan. 

He sighs and turns towards her properly. “If you have a plan, then come out and say it. We might as well do that instead.” 

“W-what?”

“You’re the one who plans things.” His lips thin when both Sakura and Naruto stare at him. “Are you both idiots or something? Out of the three of us, she always comes the closest to beating Kakashi.” 

Naruto hardly takes a moment to get on board, not that Sasuke had expected much else. He might have been horrible at coming up with his own ideas, but he knew a good one when he heard it. “Heh, the teme is actually right about something, Sakura-chan! So, maybe you should listen to him this time.”

“I guess,” Sakura says, hesitantly. Her confidence is quick to come back though, as they both wait for her to explain the plan. “Well, I was just wondering if there was a point in waiting. One or both of those teams might have the scroll we need. If we wait until they’ve worn each other out, then we can come in ourselves and secure an easy win.” 

“Then what? We head right for the meeting point?” 

“There’s nothing in the rules that says we need to head right there if we don’t want to. Then we can watch some of the other fights, to see where everyone else is at.” 

Sasuke stares at her for a few long moments. 

When Sakura puts it like that, the entire dilemma sounds so much easier. Put themselves into a position of power, and then do as much information gathering as they can. He wouldn’t have thought of it, not until it was too late. Maybe having a team around isn’t as bad of a thing as he used to think it would be. 

Sakura is still staring when he nods and turns back around, taking off in the direction of the explosion. Time is of the essence, if they want to go through with this.

“Even the teme knows a good plan when he sees one,” Naruto whispers loudly, from behind him.

“I can hear you, dobe.” 

“Good, you were supposed to!”

* * *

“I thought you said this was him,” Anko hisses at him. 

Rin scowls. “It _is_ him.” 

“No, it’s not! Nobody forgets a face like his, not even after a decade. Not even after two decades!” 

“I’m telling you, that’s him. Unless you thought Orochimaru would be stupid enough not to use a disguise? Everyone would have noticed him immediately!” 

“You better not be wrong about this, Rin-kun! I don’t want to be involved if it turns out we attacked another country’s genin. And I definitely don’t want to be involved if we attacked one of our own!”

“He was wearing a Kusa hitai-ate,” Kakashi calmly points out. 

Anko turns her ire on him, her eyes narrowed. “That doesn’t exactly comfort me, Hatake.” 

“Have you always had such little faith in your allies, Anko-chan?” 

The scratchy voice forcibly freezes them in place, their attention re-directed towards what was once a clearing between the trees. That isn’t the case anymore. The explosive seals had gone off, just as planned. 

Anyone would have difficulties calling the forty foot hole in the ground a clearing, even moreso when the smoke is still dissipating. Rin might have put too much power into those scrolls, if the shards of wood embedded into the remaining trees are anything to go off of. Or not enough power, if he considers the man standing in the epicenter of it all. He thought that an explosion with that much force behind would at least send Orochimaru to his knees. 

After everything Orochimaru did to Sasuke, he deserved that much. 

But there’s no doubting that this is Orochimaru any longer. The explosion may not have done much serious damage, but his disguise is already starting to degrade. Bits of skin along the lower half of his face hang loose, revealing the flawless white underneath. A horror movie would not be so effective at making his stomach sink, helped along by Orochimaru’s wide, nearly feral smile. Killing intent radiates off of him in waves, but Rin doesn’t falter. 

He’s been prepared for this moment since he was thirteen years old. His own determination allows him to stand tall, his own seals alerted him to Orochimaru’s appearance. 

Injuring him will be the truly difficult part.

Especially with Anko is frozen at his side, her breathing shallow as Orochimaru starts to laugh. 

“Remember the plan,” Rin warns, even with his attention focused elsewhere. 

Anko lets out a shaky breath, then turns to grin at him, her sadistic pleasure shining through with the sharp gleam of her teeth. “How could I forget, Rin-kun? This is pretty much a dream come true.”

Then she jumps to the ground, her trench coat billowing around her as she moves through the last of the smoke. Sunlight reflects off of her kunai when she lunges towards him, no words to prelude the fight. 

Orochimaru flips backwards, dodging with ease. His laughter is almost breathy with pleasure, as if he couldn’t have taken her out at the first blow, if he really wanted to. All of the Sannin are powerhouses in their own rights, but Rin is counting on that. Just like he’s counting on Anko being able to hold Orochimaru’s interest for a while longer, regardless of his reasons behind toying with his former apprentice. 

A glance to his other side confirms Kakashi’s sudden disappearance, and Rin forces his eyes shut. The nature chakra he’s been gathering since they entered the Forest won’t be enough, not yet. He would be able to activate Sage Mode like this, sure. Holding it for more than fifteen or twenty minutes is where he’s going to run into problems, and there’s no telling how long the fight will last for. Maybe up to two or three hours, if things take a sharp turn for the worse. 

The world fades away, emotion-filled shouts and taunting remarks becoming nothing more than background noise to everything else. Rin breathes in deeply and focuses on the wind moving through the trees, on the leaves falling, shaken from the explosion. Bugs squirm beneath his feet, drawing on the same natural energy he is. 

Pulling that energy into him is second nature, equalizing and stabilizing all at once, until the world starts to become a bit clearer and-

Someone shouts.

Rin’s eyes fly open. 

That isn’t quite enough, not yet, but that wasn’t a shout of anger. 

That was pain, accompanied by blood. 

Red fills his vision, contrasted with the tan of Anko’s trench coat, with the silver of a kunai, with a pained grimace and manic eyes. The wound is deep and ugly. That much is clear, even from the other side of the crater as Orochimaru pins her against a tree. All wounds that go from shoulder to breast, jagged and burning, are ugly. 

There are no more extra minutes. 

Sage Mode activates before Rin touches the ground, his features shifting. An itch starts along his scalp as feathers seamlessly weave through his hair in bright shades of red and orange. Next comes the ache in his fingertips, where his nails morph into talons. And those are only the changes he can feel. 

Rin doesn’t need a mirror to know his irises have turned a deep orange, his pupils widening and allowing him to take in more details. Red lines curl up his cheeks and around his eyes. The two main lines break off into smaller and smaller offshoots until they reach his hairline, strangely akin to the weaving of thin branches. 

A strong gust of wind follows the upwards flick of his spear. It works only because it catches Orochimaru off-guard, throwing him backwards. He collides with the remaining foliage, his hands digging into the ground before he can regain his balance and spring back to his feet. 

Anko slowly lowers herself to the ground, before snapping. “Don’t just stand there! Attack him!” 

There’s no hesitation as Rin shoots forward a second time, dodging the bushes and branches. But now Orochimaru is waiting for him. He slips past Rin’s spear with ease and blocks the kick to side. 

Rin uses the rest of the momentum to push himself off the ground, a third hit connecting with Orochimaru’s head. Then he pushes himself back and lands a few feet away, his spear in one hand and the other on the ground. They watch each other like that, carefully calculating their options. 

Sage Mode settles in more fully with the brief moment of reprieve and shows him the faint breeze moving through the trees, letting him attach his awareness to it. Anko is hastily wrapping field bandages around her torso, a kunai between her teeth. Kakashi lurks a good distance behind Orochimaru and waits for the signal. A pack of dogs linger even further away, attempting to warn away the incoming gening. 

With a bit of luck, they would actually listen. 

Rin narrows down the incoming information and focuses it on Orochimaru. Every breath the Sannin takes gives him a bit more information, a clearer image beyond the sense of not right that is nearly being shouted at him. This is where his focus needs to be. 

He needs to rip out Orochimaru’s throat. 

“Interesting,” Orochimaru muses, yellow eyes bright with adrenaline and interest. He reaches up almost absentmindedly to pull away the last few pieces of dead skin clinging to his face. “It’s a shame we’ve never met before, Uzumaki. I’ve never seen someone who wields Sage Mode with as much ease as you do. Tell me what holds you to Konoha.” 

“Does it matter? You’re never going to have me under your thumb,” Rin shouts. 

“You’ll find that everything matters.” 

Rin snarls. “Family, then. Family and everyone important to me!” 

The air shifts, just to his left.

Orochimaru lunges for Rin’s neck. Only Rin is augmented by the careful balance of chakra rushing through him. Dodging becomes child’s play like this, the tips of his fingers burning with the excess chakra. 

But Orochimaru intended something else, or snakes wouldn’t be crawling out of his sleeves, moving with the intent to restrain, rather than kill. They squirm uselessly along the ground, their senses failing them. By the time the failed attack is realized, Rin is already moving past them. The tip of his spear is heated by the chakra in his hands, hissing as it slices through cloth and flesh. 

The smell of burnt flesh fills the air, but it isn’t enough. 

Orochimaru’s foot connects with his gut, throwing him up into the air. Countless branches snap under his weight and Rin fails to grasp even one before he crashes into a tree trunk. 

A loud crack echoes through the forest and the tree belatedly starts to fall to his right as he pushes himself back up to his feet. There are small tears throughout his robe. His back wouldn’t be stinging like he’d just gone through a wire trap if there weren’t. Actually, Rin notes with a bark of dark laughter as the breeze delivers more information, he did go through a wire trap. The wires were just a bit too old to catch his weight. 

Shaking off the pain is all too easy. Rin charges ahead as he spots Orochimaru sprinting towards him. They meet in the middle, blow for blow, then spiral backwards from the force of their respective attacks. 

“A shame,” Orochimaru says, as he catches his breath. “But it would be even more of a shame if they didn’t return the sentiment.” 

A low growl builds in the back of Rin’s throat and he throws himself into his next attack. The tip of his spear glows red with heat. But his anger had already gotten the best of him, and Orochimaru shifts to the side, avoiding the attack like he’s made of water. 

Rin snarls, anger continuing to build. “They don’t have to!” 

Orochimaru grimaces as his hip catches a blow, then his shoulder, his cheek. Small cuts, cauterized as soon as they’re made, start to litter his body. Angry isn’t the full extent of Rin’s emotions. Furious doesn’t begin to cover it, the fire running through his veins almost more literal than figurative. 

If Rin were any less in control, smoke would be leaving his mouth with each exhale. 

If he were any less in control, his spear would be halfway across the Forest and fire would be dancing along his fingertips. Just a touch of wind chakra would make burning everything in sight as simple as breathing.

His spear hits something solid at long last, the smell of burning flesh surrounding both of them. Rin stares at Orochimaru, his set set with furious determination. The small distance between them closes as Rin pushes his weight onto the spear, a steady chant of more, more, more echoing through the back of his mind.

Then Orochimaru dissolves into small, squirming serpents around his spear, tumbling down to the ground. They experience a moment of disorientation as they adjust to a lack of smell, but Orochimaru’s consciousness is still inside each and every one of them. Adjusting isn’t as difficult as it should be for them. But they also shouldn’t be swarming towards him, his spear still stuck in the main bulk. 

Rin finally abandons his spear and calls forth a surge of chakra. If a weapon isn’t going to help them, then he just needed to let Orochimaru be devoured in a storm of flames. 

Sharp fangs brush against his neck. “It seems as if my little snake was correct in bringing you to my attention. Admittedly, it’s been a long time since someone has posed such a challenge for me. But think about how much more powerful you could become with a guiding hand.” 

“Ah, despite appearances, Rin-chan is quite disinterested in power.” 

Kakashi.

Rin halts, every last molecule of his body doing the same. 

This isn’t part of the plan. 

“Such a pleasant surprise, Hatake. I was curious as to why you attacked me outright, Uzumaki, but the picture is much clearer now.”

Kakashi isn’t meant to be here, not yet. Not until Rin gives the signal to switch out, in order to gather more nature chakra. Rinse and repeat until someone from the village notices the S-Rank fight taking place right beneath their noses. That’s why his clone is on its way to the Hokage’s office now, to report Orochimaru’s presence, now that the proper proof has presented itself. 

His heart starts thumping in his ears, a frantic, uneven beat that makes him all too aware of things normally beyond his perception. The cool touch of the fangs grazing his neck. A body standing behind him that is far more snake than man. A kunai in Kakashi’s grasp, pressed against Orochimaru’s throat. The trail of destruction they’d left behind them. 

And-

And three too-familiar people that he’d overlooked, just right over in the bushes. The tremble of Sakura’s fingers. Sasuke’s shallow, nearly non-existent breaths. The worried hitch of Naruto’s voice as he leans forward, clearly wide-eyed, even if Rin can’t tell those kinds of details like this.

There aren’t three worse people who could have gotten past Kakashi’s summons. 

Rin had missed them entirely, even though they must have been headed this way for a while now. He’d _missed them standing there_. All because of the misdirection seals they’re using, Rin realizes with growing horror. They’re same misdirection seals that he taught Naruto and Sakura, seals that are quickly degrading because they’ve only known how to make them for a week. If that. 

“Kakashi-kun,” Rin says, an edge to his voice, perhaps darker than it should be. “Move.”

Kakashi jumps backwards. 

Orochimaru lunges.

Neither are fast enough for the chakra Rin sends spiralling into his hands. Wind-based chakra mixes with the fire from his Sage Mode, the flames growing at an exponential rate. Orochimaru’s fangs nick his neck as he drops to the ground and spins, planting his burning hand into what should be Orochimaru’s torso.

If the creature Orochimaru turned himself into has a torso, that is.

Orochimaru doesn’t scream as the fire burns into his flesh. Maybe he can’t. The pain shines through his eyes anyways, mixed with a good dose of fury, his gaze locked with Rin’s. But it’s all momentary, as Orochimaru twists out of the way, putting him directly in front of Team Seven.

Rin follows, Kakashi a silent shadow at his side. He can see Naruto kneeling in the bushes now, wide, blue eyes staring up at him. 

“Go!” 

A heartbeat passes, then the three of them scramble away, and - and Rin can’t keep track of them while he still has to deal with the snake-like monster that is Orochimaru. Fleeing is the only thing on Orochimaru’s mind as he twists and turns, desperate to slip past both of them. Without Sage Mode, without Kakashi’s hitai-ate pushed up to reveal his Sharingan, his ability to flee would not have even been in question. 

As it is, Rin’s talons dig into scaly flesh at the same moment Kakashi connects with his kunai. 

Orochimaru twists, the damage shedding off of him in the form of snakes, and lunges for Kakashi’s throat. 

Kakashi attempts to dodge, but his collarbone still bears the brunt of the attack. Then Rin starts to move again, not towards Orochimaru or the escape route Orochimaru had chosen in the opposite direction of Team Seven. Instead, he lunges towards Kakashi as the other man stumbles back. 

Rin follows Kakashi as he slowly sinks to the ground. His clothes are in pieces, hardly staying on his body, but Rin shakes off the realization. Instead, Sage Mode melts away and he forces healing chakra to cover his hands. 

Not that it does much good for Kakashi. 

Healing jutsu has never come easily to him. Too much control is necessary to do much with it, and only seldom does desperation work in place of that. Right now, Rin has plenty of desperation in him. But it hardly stops the bleeding, his hands shaking as Kakashi stares up at him. 

If Rin didn’t know any better, he would say that Kakashi is smiling beneath his mask. 

“It seems like we’ve missed out on all the fun,” comes a familiar, drawling voice. 

Rin swallows and lets himself pull away. “You should have shown up sooner then.” 

“I’m not sure it would have made much of a difference, honestly. But that won’t stop you from receiving proper medical treatment, then reporting back to the Hokage.” Genma rolls his eyes as they both look up at him. “Don’t give me that. We’ve got people handling things here.”

Kakashi sighs and lets himself fall entirely to the ground, his eyes falling shut. “I think I still need some of Rin-chan’s attentive care.” 

“Hey! Would you have liked it if I didn’t try and heal you, asshole?”

* * *

“Gaara,” Temari says, as gently as she can manage. 

Gaara ignores her. 

Someone is close by. Which means someone else must have ignored the mutt’s warnings about this part of the Forest, drawn in by the lure of a fight. Mother is interested in them, must be if she keeps whispering at him to kill them, crush them into pieces until nothing else remains. 

Most people get that reaction out of Mother, but most people don’t encourage such a sense of urgency. She never cares much, so long as he can offer her a sacrifice of blood. 

But this one feels different. 

Gaara wants to know why. 

_Bah, isn’t it obvious?_

His eyes narrow, but he doesn’t say a word.

_Crush him, crush him into the dirt until there’s nothing left. Monsters like you and him deserve that sorta thing, don’t you? Fight, fight, fight, until there’s nothing left. Fight until his bones turn into dust, then maybe you’ll see all the ways in which the two of you are the same!_

A hint of orange moves through the trees ahead, and Gaara follows after it. One of his siblings makes a panicked whimper from behind him, but he dismisses it automatically. They will either follow him or they won’t, it doesn’t matter one way or another. But they keep following, just like they always do. Follow and stare at him like he’ll kill them both if they give him half an opportunity. 

He’s had countless opportunities over the course of a lifetime. 

But this is far more interesting than his so-called siblings. According to Mother, the one in orange is like him. Gaara has never considered that there might be others like him. But now that he’s been confronted with it, it only seems natural that he hunt them down, engage in a game of cat and mouse. He would show them that he is the cat, then find out how deep their similarities go. 

Before he kills them, anyways. 

He can’t disappoint Mother.


	18. with open eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake up in the day to find it was vanity, but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.”_ -T. E. Lawrence, _Seven Pillars of Wisdom_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this, an update less than two weeks after my last one? Almost a miracle. Hope you enjoy and thank you for all the wonderful kudos and comments! <3

His body hasn’t ached like this for a long time. 

Pain radiates from his side in the distinct shape of a handprint. Orochimaru hasn’t taken the time to properly look at it, not yet. There are too many things left to do before he can provide himself with medical treatment. Time will not stay still for things like that. 

The other wounds are manageable. Infection won’t be a problem, not with the nature of the wounds, and he won’t have to worry about scars in a few month’s time anyways. Overexertion might become a problem later on, but nighttime will come before he can do everything he wishes to, and then he can sleep. 

Regardless, pain is not a disadvantage in this situation. Pain makes most people hesitate, but for Orochimaru, it is a simple reminder that caution needs to be implemented. Right now, and when he next comes across Uzumaki Rin.

And there will be a next time. Orochimaru refuses to let such an interesting individual get away from him, not for a second time. There are few people who have managed to master Sage Mode, and Uzumaki used the technique with ease and with a summon he failed to recognize. Feathers are not enough to properly identify summons, though they do allow him to narrow down the list. Maybe with access to one of those feather, Orochimaru could make such deductions, but everything available to him now is guesswork. 

Yet, there is more about Uzumaki that captured his interest. His name is one such thing, but also his spear and the flames that formed at the tips of his fingers. 

Everything about Uzumaki suggests that Orochimaru should have first heard about him years ago, rather than a couple weeks. A man with such abilities could not have gone entirely without notice, not in the world they live in. Perhaps if Uzumaki were a few years younger, Orochimaru would understand. However, the chances of him having survived the last war without so much as stumbling into a fight seems unlikely. 

And somehow, inexplicably, Uzumaki knew he was going to be in that Forest. 

It should be simple to dismiss. Hiruzen is enough of a trusting fool that he might believe other villages wouldn’t take advantage of Konoha, but his shinobi might be of a different mind. But Uzumaki was prepared for him, right down to knowing which disguise Orochimaru would use. There had even been some sort of preparation for his summons. 

Anko being there should have been his first red flag, but Uzumaki had thrown him off guard. 

Orochimaru has long been of the opinion that the easiest answers are the most likely answers. And the easiest answer to this predicament is a leak in his information. 

Out of everyone involved, only one of them is in the position to betray him so easily. 

The window opens silently and he slips inside. The apartment is truly bleak, a better fit for a storage unit than a home, temporary or otherwise. There aren’t any books on the shelves, not even a picture or two lying around. A bit of poking around reveals a plate and a bowl in the cupboard, but that is the extent of it. The closet is even devoid of clothes, the fridge lacking food, as if Kabuto never expected to return here. 

Such a dire outlook on life he has. 

Orochimaru does find a book in the nightstand. The binding is unbroken and the price tag still stuck on the back cover, but a book nonetheless. A pen lies beside it, and he opens up the book, underlining words and phrases almost at random. 

Kabuto will understand. Orochimaru was the one to teach him the code in the first place, had drilled it into his head on so many occasions that Kabuto could likely crack it in his sleep. So long as Kabuto comes back here, as long as he knows what’s best for him, they will meet. But not until this situation has been properly resolved. 

The insubordination was amusing at first. People like Kabuto always need a bit of room to grow, to push their boundaries, so that one day they would be ready for new responsibilities. Attempted coups are just the risk that goes along with that, the outcome of them not knowing where the boundaries truly lie. 

Loyalty to Oto is one such boundary Orochimaru hoped to instill in his people. They might not be a physical village, at least not yet, but once that day comes, devotion can be their strongest tool. A betrayal like this one means Kabuto has gone against that loyalty, has decided to pick Konoha over Oto. One last mistake that Hiruzen can hold over his head when the right day comes. 

More than anything else, the investment lost is disappointing. 

So many years of his life have been poured into Kabuto. 

But perhaps there are other avenues to consider now. Sasuke is still unmarked, due to Uzumaki and Anko, but Orochimaru never does anything in halves. And there are still another two days left of this portion of the exam.

* * *

“What I fail to understand is why you decided not to trust me,” the Hokage says, exhaustion dripping from his voice. 

Kakashi pushes back the desire to apologize to the Hokage’s back. Even if he’d asked himself the same question, the comment isn’t meant for him. 

Not that he asked himself that prior to about fifteen minutes ago. 

Rin and Anko don’t look any more willing to give up than they did when the Hokage first entered the hospital room. Or that might be the pain. Actually, it is almost definitely the pain. Both of them were incapable of stopping themselves from bragging the entire way here.

Good thing Kakashi started tuning them out almost immediately. But his shoulders still feel warm from the weight of Rin’s arm over them, and if he thinks hard enough, he can remember Rin’s breath against his ear. The words may be lost to him, but the general sentiment is not. They stopped Orochimaru from going after the genin, regardless of whether he’s still out there or not.

Rin shifts awkwardly in his chair, and Kakashi eyes the deep cuts along his back with a twinge of sympathy. Nothing can be done about them until the medic-nin comes back with the results. Running into old traps always runs the risk of poisons, some tainted by years exposed to the elements. Still, Rin focuses on the Hokage, who stares out the window. 

If they weren’t in the middle of a lecture, Kakashi would ask a question or two about the expansive tattoos beneath his bandages. 

“And you, Kakashi.” The Hokage glances over his shoulder, their gazes locked together. Anyone else would have flinched at the chilly tone of his voice. “I understand that Rin and Anko can be… determined, but you should have still seen the need to send for help.”

“Or perhaps you underestimate my own determination, Hokage-sama,” Kakashi says with false cheer. 

“Didn’t my clone come and find you?” 

Kakashi slowly closes his mouth and turns towards Rin. He’s still sitting with the back of the chair between his legs, but now he’s leaning forward, his arms flexing every so slightly as they balance on the back of the chair. 

Whatever snarky comment Kakashi intended to make promptly dies in the back of his throat. 

“Your clone?” the Hokage echoes, oblivious. 

“Yeah, I sent a clone to warn you about Orochimaru before the fight.” Rin rubs the back of his neck and Kakashi closes his eyes, bracing himself for something truly ridiculous. “Nevermind, it still hasn’t been dismissed, actually. I just thought it had been. I don’t usually notice the extra memories while I’m in the middle of a fight.” 

And there it is.

The thing Kakashi should have prepared himself for. 

People can’t just maintain a clone without noticing a strain on their chakra. Especially not while fighting one of the Sannin, regardless of it they have insanely large chakra reserves or could activate Sage Mode. 

Of course, unless that person just happens to be Rin.

Anko’s jaw drops, looking as if she’s moments away from lunging forward and attacking Rin outright. She likely would, if she weren’t constrained to a hospital bed. “Are you fucking kidding me, Uzumaki? Did you seriously go head to head with that snake bastard while a clone ran around with half your chakra? I knew you were ten shades of crazy when I signed on, but you didn’t mention you could do that!” 

“Anko, language,” the Hokage says, half-heartedly. 

“But-” 

“That would make sense.” Anko turns her eyes on Kakashi, bright and incredulous. “If Rin-chan thought his skills were anything special.” 

“You - ah!” 

Anko lets her head fall back down and scowls up at the ceiling. 

It’s a feeling Kakashi can empathize with. He will never be able to forget what Rin looked like during that fight. The fire from his hands had lit up his face, his hair appearing all the thicker because of the feathers intertwined through. But in the end, Rin was wind personified, light on his feet and nearly unaffected by Orochimaru’s attacks. Captivating is perhaps the most accurate word for it.

Kakashi is certainly captivated. Not just by the strength or lack of hesitation going up against someone like Orochimaru either. Those few moments of fighting side by side had made something shift into place. The same something that is now itching for him to get up and go to the Memorial Stone, regardless of his current obligations to both the village and Team Seven.

The Hokage sighs, the line between his eyebrows twitching as he turns to face them properly. Kakashi can’t count the number of times he’s seen that expression, almost always after a training ground was curiously destroyed. “Can you dismiss it now?”

Rin hesitates. “Ah, yes? But it probably disobeyed order for a reason, don’t you think?” 

“Do your clones often disobey orders?” the Hokage asks, forcing out the words. 

Kakashi doesn’t bother to hide his smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling. The last thing the Hokage wants is the true answer to that. 

“Yours don’t?” Rin asks, anyways. 

“They don’t.” 

Rin laughs awkwardly, his hands twitching as he clearly resists the urge to reach for the back of his head. “Well, mine do, but only up to a certain point, I guess? They, well, they hate housework almost as much as I do. When it comes to missions though, they usually listen.” 

The Hokage opens his mouth to respond, then promptly closes it again. His heads tips back, hitting the window with a dull thud. Only Gai and Genma’s training sessions usually make him react this badly. 

A week ago, Kakashi wouldn’t have believed this either. Part of creating clones, even the shadow clones that Rin shouldn’t know how to create, means that they bend to the original’s will. The theory is as basic as any other. 

When Rin creates clones, it’s much closer to him creating a whole new version of himself. That was what Kakashi gathered last week at least. Rin had summoned a clone to help with part of training, only to have to argue with it for nearly five minutes before it agreed to do what Rin wanted. Out of all of them, only Naruto had been unphased by the interaction. Seeing that experience forced onto others is perhaps more satisfying than it should be. 

But Kakashi also remembers the clone from before the fight, and it hadn’t objected. It just gave a brief nod before taking off to do what was asked of it. In this situation, inform the Hokage that an S-Class missing was wandering around with nearly a hundred genin from various countries.

Its disappearance now raises more flags than Kakashi wants to acknowledge.

The Hokage sighs. “Very well. Please contact me if it has relevant information. It won’t affect the changes we’ve made to the exam, but considering we don’t know why Orochimaru is here, the extra information can’t hurt.” 

“We don’t know why Orochimaru is here?” Rin asks abruptly, his voice low. 

“Of course not. Nobody bothered to clarify his intent-” 

“He’s here because he wants Sasuke!” 

The declaration echoes through the room, stopping everyone in their tracks. Rin crumples almost immediately after the words leave him and he buries his head in his hands, fingers intertwined in red strands of hair. 

“C’mon, Rin-kun,” Anko tries, with a faltering grin, “we don’t know that for sure. The bastard could always be-” 

Rin shakes his head. “He’s going after Sasuke. I know it.” 

Kakashi racks his brain for any hint or clue that Orochimaru is, in fact, planning on going after Sasuke and comes up short. Neither of them had gone off about their intentions. There had been no reason to. And yet, Rin’s belief in this goes past desperation and right into blind faith. 

If Rin is right about this, then it means nothing good for Sasuke. Kakashi doesn’t need to spend time thinking about the various crimes that got Orochimaru exiled from the village. Half of ANBU had been down in those labs, searching for any last piece of evidence to present to the village. All of that evidence had been damning. All of that evidence pointed towards things that still make his stomach twist to this very day. 

Looking for a motive isn’t much more difficult. Sharingan or no Sharingan, Sasuke is one of the last members of the Uchiha clan and thus a potential holder of one of the most dangerous kekkai genkai in existence. If Orochimaru were interested in Sharingan, Sasuke would be the easiest target. 

Realistically, not believing Rin is a risk Kakashi can’t take. 

He steps forward, breaking the tentative silence that had formed, and puts his hand on Rin’s shoulder. “We’ll make sure Orochimaru doesn’t get to him then. I wouldn’t be a very good sensei, otherwise.” 

The relief reflected back at him is nearly physical in its force, capable of stopping anyone in their tracks. Kakashi swallows. What is he supposed to do with that emotion? 

The Hokage gives him a pointed look and he lets his hand fall away again. “Regardless, that assumption still cannot be made. At least a dozen other children could have potentially caught his eye, if we consider unique abilities, and Sasuke has yet to even manifest the Sharingan. Which is why we’re moving all participants to a series of underground holdings once they finish this portion of the exam.” 

“But-”

“No need for concern, Rin-san. You will be one of the jounin guarding them.” Some of the tension fades from the Hokage, leaving an old, tired man in its wake. “I am not enough of a fool to try and keep you away.”

* * *

Something doesn’t quite feel right. 

The biggest problem is that Naruto doesn’t know what to make of it. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Rin. Or at least, he sees some strange version of Rin, a Rin who almost looked wild, demanding desperation as he shouts at them to run. Next to that thing, Rin had seemed human, but now Naruto isn’t quite so certain. Something about his eyes didn’t quite seem right, not that he can remember why. 

Everything other than that one painstakingly clear moment is a bit hazy. Like, they talked to Pakkun at one point on their way back, but whatever they talked about is a complete mystery. 

Naruto still can’t believe they just continued with the exam after that. 

The recently defeated team is limp in their restraints, blissfully unconscious, and a new scroll sits in his kunai pouch. All that’s left now is making it towards the tower, and then they’ll be able to warn people. They even debated doing this much, really. Just what is the point of getting some stupid scroll when they found Rin and Kakashi-sensei being attacked by some monster in the middle of the forest. Even that is too much for an exam. 

Sakura slowly sits down beside him and pulls her knees into her chest. “Are you alright, Naruto-kun?” 

His jaw twitches at the sound of Sasuke snorting from where he’s keeping a look-out. Punching the teme in the face would be really satisfying right about now. Or maybe it wouldn’t be. 

Even Sasuke isn’t enough of an emotionless bastard to hide the nervous way he keeps scanning the bushes. 

“I’m fine,” Naruto mutters. 

Sakura hesitates, then looks over at the unconscious team. “You were the one who suggested we do it this way. If they saw us coming, they would have been too prepared.” 

Just like with the pranks he used to pull back in the Academy. But going up against those guys had been more like sparring than the fight with Zabuza. Maybe because they weren’t commanding to be feared like Zabuza had. Or maybe because they weren’t all that different from Team Seven.

Naruto forces a smile and stomps down the urge to tell her that isn’t the problem, that something else is. “I know, Sakura-chan.” 

They finally make eye contact, a silent understanding passing between them. 

Before swarming another team with clones or moving onto the next part of the exam, they should have done the one thing they didn’t do. They should have stayed to help Rin and Kakashi-sensei, regardless of anything Rin shouted at them.

That sort of thing just makes sense, exam or no exam. Not abandoning their teammates was one of the first things Kakashi-sensei tried to teach them, and leaving back there, that feels like abandoning the people who are important to him. 

Worrying is how people show they care was how that pretty boy put it, back in Wave. Naruto frowns down at the ground. Worrying doesn’t feel like it’s enough, not in this situation. Maybe Sakura understands, maybe she doesn’t, but Rin and Kakashi-sensei aren’t going to know he cares if he just leaves them to fight some monster by themselves. Even if he understands what it feels like to be on the other side of that sort of worry, it just doesn’t feel right.

“If the two of you are finished restraining them, we need to leave,” Sasuke says, dryly. None of them acknowledge that they’ve clearly been finished with that for a long while now. “The sun sets soon, and we need to get to the meeting point before then.” 

Sakura takes in a deep breath and stands back up again. “Alright, let’s do this then. Naruto-kun?” 

“Yeah, I’m ready.” 

All three of them stand there in awkward silence, no one willing to be the first person to leave. Heading to the meeting point probably means leaving the Forest, and leaving the Forest means ignoring everything they saw before. 

It shouldn’t be this difficult to follow orders.

“Ah! What are we even doing?” Naruto finally shouts, digging both of his hands into his hair. Both Sakura and Sasuke turn to look at him, taken aback, and it only drives him on. “We need to go back! You guys saw it - that thing was beating them! Why did we even leave in the first place?” 

“I know!” 

Sasuke turns on his heel, anger physically written into his face, his shoulders, his hands. Whatever else Naruto wanted to say leaves him entirely at the sight of red eyes. 

They aren’t reddened, like when Naruto cries, then accidentally looks at himself in the mirror afterwards. No, Sasuke’s eyes are red in the same way Kakashi-sensei’s covered eye is red. Tears are there too, but Naruto doesn’t need to think twice about why they’re there. 

Years of friendship flood back. Years of sneaking into Sasuke’s huge, empty house in the middle of the night, driven first by loneliness and then by the one time Naruto found Sasuke in bed, his shoulders shaking beneath the covers. This last year of silently hating each other had made him forget how much Sasuke is willing to take the blame for, how much moments like these make Sasuke hate himself. 

Naruto steels himself for the inevitable pushback. He isn’t the one who refused to make up after a few weeks of fighting. He isn’t the one who forbid Sasuke from coming over to his apartment. 

Their whole fight has been stupid since the beginning. 

“But what else could we have done? If we stuck around, we probably would have gotten ourselves killed,” Sasuke continues, his hands curling into fists. 

“We could have won. Together, we _would_ have won.”

Sasuke lunges forwards and digs his fists into Naruto’s collar. The snarl on his face isn’t anywhere close to dying, but Naruto doesn’t falter, not even when his heels involuntarily leave the ground. 

“Don’t back down on me now, teme,” Naruto says, as close to begging as he dares to get. 

Red eyes stare back at him, steady if not for the spinning tomoe around Sasuke’s pupils. But the grip on his collar is wavering, even as Sasuke’s knuckles start to turn white from the force behind it. Anything else would be more effective at getting Naruto to back down now. Sasuke must know that, and yet there they stay, unmoving. 

“It wanted Sasuke-kun.” 

Sakura’s words make Sasuke abruptly let go. 

She doesn’t stop. “You - you guys saw it too, right? For just a moment, it saw us and - it looked like it wanted to eat him.” 

“Shut up,” Sasuke hisses. 

“No! That thing almost came after us, and Kakashi-sensei and Rin-san are the only reasons it didn’t.” 

“Oi, Billboard Brow!” 

Sasuke immediately looks away, stalking off before Naruto can even register Ino climbing out of the bushes. 

In no way does that stop Ino, but nor does it explain the leaves stuck in her hair or the self-satisfied smirk on her face. Naruto stares, his mouth slowly opening, then closing again when Ino stalks towards Sakura with her head held high, entirely oblivious to what she just interrupted.   
A groan follows behind her, and to Naruto’s relief, it’s Shikamaru who climbs out of the bushes next. He’d completely forgotten they were teammates, but if it anyone can deal with Ino, it’s probably Shikamaru. Deal might be a bit of an overstatement, Naruto realizes, snickering at the steadily growing tick in Shikamaru’s eyebrow. 

“Couldn’t you have just shut up like I told you to?” Shikamaru grumbles. 

“As if we were going to get any information like that!” Ino doesn’t bother looking back at Shikamaru, instead taking the time to walk in a slow circle around Sakura, not so subtly assessing her. “Ha, I knew it!” 

“Ino-chan…?” 

“That totally means I’m stronger than you now!” 

Naruto spots Sakura’s sudden switch to annoyance and starts slowly backing away before he can get caught in the crossfire. 

With Sasuke brooding on one side of the clearing, and Shikamaru and Chōji on the other, it’s an easy decision of where to escape to. They really could have chosen a better time to interrupt, but the break from that conversation is a relief anyways. 

Any longer and Naruto isn’t certain what would have happened there. He shivers at the thought. Another few bruises along his rib cage really isn’t something to scoff at, not when Sakura’s elbows are so pointy. She might have sounded scared at the time, but he’s the first one to know that all it would have taken is one comment and all that fear would be pointed towards him in the form of pure anger. 

“So,” Chōji starts as he picks a stray leaf off of his shirt, “what did happen, anyways?” 

Shikamaru groans, his head tilting back. “Chōji, he’s not going to just-” 

“There was this… snake monster thing.” Naruto offers up a forced smile when they both turn towards him, their attention captured. “Actually, I don’t know if it was a snake. But Rin and Kakashi-sensei were fighting it when we found them. And then Rin ordered us to leave.” 

“This was the thing that made that explosion, right?” Shikamaru asks, carefully.

“You guys felt it too?” 

Chōji nods. “Of course. I think everyone in the village felt that explosion.” 

“Somebody else must have noticed it, at any-”

A smack echoes through the forest, putting a sudden halt on their conversation. “Don’t you dare call me a shallow fangirl ever again!” 

Naruto’s stomach bottoms out and he spares a cautious glance towards Sakura and Ino, just in time to see Sakura slowly lifting her fingers to her smartening cheek. She blinks, clearly attempting to figure out what just happened. 

Normally, this would be the point in time where Naruto chooses to flee the scene before it can get any worse. As it is, he takes a couple cautious steps backwards, hoping with everything he has that they won’t notice him. Their fights back in the Academy were legendary, and even if there was a point in time where he wished he could be in the middle of such a fight, it’s now long passed. 

Long, precious moments pass before Sakura begins to scowl, her arm pulling back in telltale preparation. Naruto winces before it even connects, the impact enough to send Ino stumbling to the ground. 

Ino grins, her mouth covered in blood, then spits it out on the ground. 

Things really have changed since they were in the Academy. 

“Just what was that for, Ino-pig?” Sakura snaps. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t call you a fangirl either,” Ino says, resolutely. “But you need to pull yourself out of that big head of yours, Billboard Brow, otherwise you won’t be able to protect Sasuke-kun.” 

“I don’t need-”

“Oh, shut your mouth, Uchiha. I’m not talking to you right now, I’m talking to Sakura-chan.”

Naruto has to cover his mouth to hold back his laughter. The total look of miscomprehension on Sasuke’s face couldn’t get any better if Ino had outright tried to reject him. 

“Alright then,” Sakura says, finally pulling herself back together. She holds out a hand in the small distance that separate her from Ino. “Truce?”

Ino grasps it, without a moment’s hesitation. “Truce.” 

“Ino,” Shikamaru groans, “didn’t I tell you to at least discuss it with me and Chōji before you go deciding things like this?”


	19. find nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me.”_ -Albert Einstein

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, quite a few things to update you guys on. First, you should probably go back and re-read the chapter before this because I shifted a couple things around and added a bit here and there. 
> 
> Second, fanart. Oh my god, there is fanart and it is gorgeous and even nearly two months later, I am freaking out about how amazing it is. They were all done by [Sumeri](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Sumeri/pseuds/Sumeri) and are [here](https://s8.postimg.org/nreauc405/from_the_ashes_it_rises.jpg), [here,](https://s8.postimg.org/3lasvg8cl/search_destroy.jpg) [here,](https://s9.postimg.org/clffwy9yn/rinn.jpg) [here,](https://s9.postimg.org/tagvsv6jz/rinn2.jpg) and [here.](https://s9.postimg.org/xh1q8765r/rin_sketch.jpg) So amazing, so lovely, still freaking out. 
> 
> And lastly, which I don't really know what can top that, but I've been semi-active on tumblr lately. So, feel free to come chat with me over [here](http://serendipitousdescent.tumblr.com/) as I need more reasons to procrastinate on the 20+ things I need to do.

Rin fiddles with the corner of the page, inwardly debating whether or not to turn it. 

If he turns the page too often, then it will become obvious that he’s not actually reading the book. But if he doesn’t turn it often enough, he’ll forget that he’s supposed to pretend to read it. 

That’s the biggest issue with spying, he supposes. There are too many moments of just sitting there, pretending not to notice what the other person is doing. He’s never been good at sitting still either, not in the last few hours of his existence or the last lifetime of technically being another person. 

His original self likely won’t consider sitting still in the back of a tea shop the biggest problem, though. The orders he’d given are still important, nothing like some of the orders he’s given in the past. His worst habit is definitely ordering his clones to clean the bathroom or do paperwork or cook dinner. No, these are orders he hadn’t planned on disobeying. 

Rin absentmindedly lets his attention stray back to the Forest of Death. It’s been hours since the last wave of malicious chakra washed over the village. Hoping for the best is the only option now. 

At least his original self can’t be dead, otherwise he wouldn’t exist either. Someone disappearing in the back of a tea shop would almost be more suspicious than the timing of it all. If he’s really lost a fight against Orochimaru, then he’ll really regret not informing the Hokage about the S-Rank missing nin roaming Konoha. Then he’ll take the time to kick his own ass. 

He slumps forward, finally flipping the page. Icha Icha Paradise hasn’t gotten any better since the last time he read it, unfortunately. There were so many other books at the store. Picking any one of them would have been better than choosing this one as his cover for being in the tea shop. 

But as long as Danzō sits by the front door, instead of monitoring the exam like he should be, there’s nothing he can do about it. Better to be thought a pervert than let Danzō do whatever he wants. 

Except perhaps Orochimaru and Madara, nobody else is as dangerous to Konoha’s future, after all. 

Not that Rin can do anything about that with such a distinct lack of chakra. The clone scowls into the book, frustrated. If he were able to summon another clone, then the Hokage would have known about Orochimaru hours ago. If he used a henge, then Danzō wouldn’t be able to recognize him later on. But no, his original self decided to keep almost all of his chakra to himself, in order to properly go up against Orochimaru. 

Perhaps when he finally dismisses himself, his original self will remember to prepare for things inevitably going wrong. Which might be sooner than later, if things keep going in this direction. Danzō hasn’t done anything more exciting than sit there and drink his tea. It’s still suspicious, because most people don’t spend their entire day in a tea shop unless they’re up to something. Even more so when said people technically have other things to do. But with the way things are going now, he’ll never find out what that is.

Or maybe that isn’t the case after all. 

Someone just sat down across from Danzō. 

Rin focuses back on his book, watching the corner of his eye. Whoever it is isn’t someone he knows. Not that he would be able to tell anyways, not with that hood pulled up over their head. He straightens in his seat. From this angle, their face is almost visible, or it would be if not for the white cloth obscuring half of their face from view. 

Nobody in Konoha dresses like that, not even to protect their identity. No, he’s only ever seen that style in Suna.

Long minutes pass before the server comes by their table. Danzō refuses to acknowledge the other person until she does, their conversation starting in a low whisper. The clone curses under his breath. Not even the person next to them could hear their conversation over the constant murmur of the shop.

Getting closer isn’t an option. Avoiding attention is key to making this work, chakra or no chakra. 

If only the Hokage had given him a bit more leeway with this. For all intents and purposes, Danzō is off limits, not so long as he’s part of the Council’s inner circle. Making his own judgement calls this early on just might upset his tentative agreement with the Hokage. 

Careful has to be the name of the game, now.

A better question is why didn’t he think this through properly before now? He can’t see anything from this angle, not without giving everything away. 

They might be talking about the exam. 

Or they could be talking about flower arrangements. 

Rin groans in frustration, ignoring the odd look from the table beside him. Maybe the best plan is crawling under the tables like he’s twelve again. He’s almost desperate enough to try it. 

Danzō leans back, and the clone’s attention quickly turns back to him. Someone must have said something, but he can’t imagine it being anything good. Hopefully it’s something that’s useful to him, something big enough to make this all worthwhile. 

“Would you like some more tea, sir?” 

The server can’t take her eyes off of Icha Icha Paradise, her indignation barely contained on her face. 

The clone beams up at her. Acting like Kakashi is a better cover than he ever would have guessed. “That would be great, thanks!”

* * *

“Sasuke!” 

Sasuke clenches his jaw at the shout, his feet nearly giving way beneath him. 

All Naruto likely wants is to assure him that he’s worried, as if Sasuke wants anyone to be worried about him. Whatever has gotten into Naruto these last few hours, he has no idea, but he’d prefer not to have any part in it. 

Jumping to the next branch is his only option. Naruto can shout all he wants, but they still need to make it to the meeting point by sunset. Any later than that and someone will ambush them, even Sakura had agreed on that much. If only she hadn’t also agreed to babysit Team Ten while she was at it. 

If Sasuke so much as looks back now, all of them will see the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. Then he’ll have to explain. 

Now that his Sharingan has finally activated, the last thing he wants to do is explain the pain blossoming behind his eyes. Being a Uchiha means that using the Sharingan comes as naturally to him as everything else does. But after everything that’s happened, that would be too easy to deal with. To think this is what drove Itachi to do what he did. 

His stomach twists, but he keeps moving. All his Sharingan has helped him with thus far is seeing some concentration of chakra off in the distance, likely nothing more than the forest itself. Deactivating it would almost be more useful at this point. Not that he’s figured out how to do that either. 

“Teme, stop!” 

Naruto’s desperation is what makes him slow, in the end. 

That’s all it takes to let Naruto catch up to him, his face set into a frown. Not a second glance is spared to the tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. 

“You need to stop!” Naruto shouts, instead. 

Sasuke scowls and picks up speed again. “It’s not my fault if you can’t keep up.” 

“Can’t you see it?” 

He keeps going. 

There’s nothing else he can do. 

Then Sasuke falters, his feet nearly slipping off the next tree branch as he comes to an abrupt stop. 

Concentrated chakra from the forest might have been too early of a judgement to make. His hands clench, nails digging into the palms of his hands. Now that Naruto has gone and pointed it out, Sasuke can’t ignore it. How could he have missed it in the first place? 

Naruto finally stops beside him, taking a brief moment to catch his breath again. No matter how long Sasuke stares for, the bits of triangles and rectangles just beyond that all-consuming chakra don’t stop growing. Like a wall of beige, nearly brown slowly approaching them. Sasuke follows it from left to right, that heavy weight in his gut only growing when he realizes that it doesn’t end. 

A hand clutches his arm and refuses to be shrugged away. “Do you see it now, teme?” Naruto snarls at him. 

“What is it?” 

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out, if you would just stop and listen to us! What’s even your problem?” 

Sasuke turns towards Naruto, nearly vibrating. “I’m not the one with a problem!” 

“Yes, you are!” 

“No-” 

“I really don’t want to be the one to break this up,” a new voice interjects. “But all of us have a problem right now. And that problem has nothing to do with the two of you.” 

Sasuke can nearly hear Naruto holding back his scream of frustration as he abruptly looks away again. 

Not that Shikamaru bothers to hold back his exasperated sigh. 

It makes his lips thin, but Shikamaru did say something right. “Whatever it is, it’s getting closer.”

Shikamaru nods. “We think it’s sand, but someone must have been tracking us for quite a while to set up a jutsu of this scale. Which means they’re probably more dangerous than we are.” 

“No shit, Shika,” Ino says, as she catches up to them. 

Sasuke pushes his concerns away as he looks at the concentrated chakra. Now that they’ve gone and pointed it out, it does look like a wall of sand. 

Whatever’s wrong with his Sharingan must be affecting the rest of his sight, though. Not to a point where he feels the need to point it out to the others, but it’s still there. Even a few moments of staring at it sends small prickles of pain through his head, and he doesn’t have the first idea how to make them stop. 

Then a tree gets swallowed by the sand, a echoing crash following only seconds behind. 

“Any chance one of you guys could break through that?” Chouji asks, hesitantly. 

There isn’t even a slight one.

Sasuke doesn’t bother to say that though, not now that everyone else has caught up. His time is better spent on looking at this thing, while they figure out what their next step is themselves. 

“I can’t,” Sakura speaks up after a moment, glancing over at him with an apologetic grimace. “Kakashi-sensei taught Sasuke-kun a couple fire jutsu, but that won’t help now.” 

“That would only make things worse. Why do things like that always happen to us?” Shikamaru asks. 

Chouji laughs, hesitantly. “Maybe I can break through?” 

Shikamaru starts shaking his head before Chouji can even finish. “You’re strong, but not that strong. Those trees are being demolished. It would do the same thing to you.” 

“I can do it.” 

Sasuke turns and stares. 

He isn’t the only one staring at Naruto, but the rest of them fade away as Naruto meets his eyes. But that isn’t the over-confident smirk Naruto always has when he wants to show off, not like Sasuke expected. 

No, all he can see in Naruto’s face is a determined grimace, and it makes him want to shout and scream. This isn’t the sort of thing Naruto should be able to do. Even their fight with Zabuza had to be pushing the upper levels of what Naruto is capable of. No other possibility makes sense.

The determination crumbles. “Or I can at least, heh, try?” 

“Do you think we’re stupid or something?” 

Naruto slowly shakes his head. “Just trust me for a few moments.” 

His eyes are closed before Sasuke can retort, leaving them with no choice but to wait. Something stops him from looking away quite yet, though, even as the others quietly go back to contemplating the slowly approaching wall. 

The last bit of emotion fades from Naruto’s face. A lump forms in the back of Sasuke’s throat at the sight, all from the wrongness of that expression. He’s seen Naruto try and fail to wipe all emotion from his face. Even when Naruto sleeps, there’s something there, his dreams following him back into reality. Just one of those things Sasuke accepted years ago. 

Then it starts. Maybe no one else notices the vague clenching and unclenching of Naruto’s jaw, or even the way his lips slightly move, but Sasuke does. 

And more than that, he can see the chakra. 

It hovers around Naruto in dark red, angry clouds. The Sharingan is nothing like the Bakugan, but the Sharingan wouldn’t be a problem for him if he couldn’t see chakra at all. This chakra certainly isn’t Naruto’s, not the bright blues Sasuke had already begun to associate with him. His heart jumps up to his throat as chakra abruptly increases in intensity, closer to red balls of lightning than anything else. 

“Your few moments are up, dobe,” Sasuke snaps. “Unless your plan is to stand around with your eyes closed this entire time.” 

The other conversation halts, just as Naruto opens his eyes. 

Eerie is about as far as Naruto could get. Sasuke doesn’t know what he just did, how he’s capable of grinning like it’s some sort of accomplishment. Those are still orange eyes staring back at him. 

There are other changes as well, ones that Sasuke almost has no choice but to notice. It starts with the hair, now nearly hanging into his eyes, but the obvious change is clearly the markings along Naruto’s cheeks. Sasuke had always assumed that they were some sort of clan markings. Except that clan markings don’t get thicker or wider after someone closes their eyes for all of a minute. 

“You guys are seeing this too, right?” 

“Ino-chan, this really isn’t the time.” 

Naruto grins like he can’t hear a word of the exchange between Ino and Sakura. “We’re not going to just stand here, are we?” 

Sasuke continues to stare without a word, even as the others argue to continue on. But none of them can see those electric balls of chakra shift around Naruto like some sort of shroud. 

If the wall of sand were any further away, Sasuke might question it, might demand answers from him. They only have minutes left now. 

His feet stay cemented in place when Naruto jumps to the ground without hesitation. Sakura is right behind him, acting like they’ve been moving in tandem for years instead of days. For the briefest moment, Sasuke can’t blame them for leaving him. But the only option he has now is to follow behind, follow and hope he can catch up before sand swallows him whole from behind. 

Light disappears as Sasuke finally jumps to the ground. 

There isn’t enough time to look up, to look up and see the wall closing overhead. 

What he does do is follow. Not follow by his regular sight, but by the pangs of pain echoing through his head, getting worse with each passing second. Naruto is enshrouded by red. 

That is where Sasuke needs to be.

Then the light appears again, light and the bright blond of Naruto’s hair. Team Ten surrounds him, no one quite ahead or behind. No one quite as close to Naruto as Sakura is, and Sasuke pushes more chakra into his legs, reaches out for the light as the sand swarms back into view. 

His hand collides with something solid, the light gone, before he has a chance of reaching them.

* * *

Hiruzen needs to get these tiles sorted out. Jiraiya winces as they squeak beneath his weight for what has to be the twelfth time just in the last hour. Nobody is oblivious enough to miss something like that. 

Any hopes he had of spending a nice afternoon moping outside of his sensei’s office are quickly dashed. Though, if he’s being honest with himself, the chances of that weren’t particularly high in the first place. The last thing he likes to be is honest with himself though. 

There’s an audible sigh from inside the building right before the window slides open. “Is there a reason why you’re haunting my rooftop?” 

“Ha!” Jiraiya plasters a wide grin across his face. “As if you haven’t noticed the gorgeous woman getting undressed in front of her window just a block over, you closet pervert.”

Hiruzen automatically glances out towards the street before turning back towards him, thoroughly unimpressed. “Being discreet is better than any fate you’ve faced at Tsunade’s hands. Now tell me why you’re really here.” 

“Does it matter?”

“You are still my student, Jiraiya, even if time has changed the nature of that relationship,” Hiruzen says, softly. 

His head tips back to lean against the side of the building. 

If Jiraiya isn’t careful, something will slip out of place, and tumbling back into that same jarring hurt will be his only option. Inevitable, it may be, but remarks like that always have a habit of bringing it back up to the surface. 

Caring isn’t the part Jiraiya’s worried about. He doesn’t need it spelled out for him to know that Hiruzen cares for all three of them, even now. But Tsunade cared too, once upon a time, and Orochimaru at least did a good job of pretending. What he’s worried about is where that caring will lead him, when Hiruzen’s caring ended the way it did. Their team can’t be much more fractured than they are now. Even his own actions added to the problem, rather than the solution. 

And there’s the very hurt he’s been trying to avoid. 

Hiruzen leans against the window sill, his voice dropping as he changes the subject. “You showed up early.”

“My lifestyle invites a certain amount of flexibility,” Jiraiya replies. “All sorts of flexibility, one could even say.”

“And yet, getting you to show up on time was nearly impossible when your lifestyle encouraged such things. I don’t want to assume it has anything to Orochimaru’s sudden appearance today.”

“Well, that wouldn’t make it any less true.” 

Hiruzen sighs and steps to the side, allowing Jiraiya to climb inside the window. It closes behind them, a necessity of the conversation they need to have. The roles of Hokage and shinobi will continue to guide their actions long after they’re both in the grave. 

Considering who they’re discussing, that might be even more the case. Jiraiya hasn’t even allowed himself to think about who is taking part in this exam. 

Chūnin Exams are always fraught with problems, regardless of who hosts the damn thing or who participates in it. The simple fact is that it invites in too many shinobi from different villages. If everyone decided not to ignore most of the minor infractions that occur during the exam, they would be in the middle of a war forever.

This isn’t the same. As soon as Jiraiya found out who would be participating, he knew things would change. This group has the troubles of a jinchuuriki, the sole survivor of the Uchiha massacre, and more clan heirs than he can reasonably count. A recipe for disaster is what it is. 

If Iwa finds out about Naruto being Minato’s kid - but, no, Hiruzen has dealt with that possibility already. This is just the first time Jiraiya has even remotely approved of it. The first time he’s felt anything other than a vague sense of guilt and curiosity about the kid. 

Sensing Orochimaru’s chakra from the Forest of Death so soon into the second part of the exam was still almost inevitable. 

Hiruzen is being weighed down by the situation too, Jiraiya notes as he sits across from him. This might be more than a good cup of tea can handle. And for Hiruzen, a good cup of tea is the best way to secure a miracle. He stays silent as Hiruzen pulls a pipe from his bottom desk draws and easily balances it between his fingers, lighting it. A couple bad habits are better than none at all. 

“What exactly do you know?” Hiruzen asks, slumping back into his chair. 

Jiraiya hums, not quite ready to give anything up just yet. But both of them know what type of answer that is. “The word is out already, then?”

“It is.” Rather than the exasperation at the obvious answer Jiraiya expected, Hiruzen’s exhaustion only seems to grow. One would almost think he had been reminded of an impending apocalypse, rather than an information leak. “I have urged the visiting jounin sensei to keep information about Orochimaru to themselves for the time being, but I have no doubt I’ll be hearing from the other Kage by morning.”

“Whether or not you’ll be incriminated is the real question.” 

Hiruzen sighs. 

The question hanging beneath Jiraiya’s comment is too obvious to ignore, in the end. His information network here is just as well-knit as it is in any other village, if not more so. And yet, everything he’s heard today has been scattered, no real thread of truth behind any of it. 

What really happened in that forest is still a question. Spinning the answer to that question might be possible, and entirely reasonable, if it means preventing tensions from worsening. But the moment people start assuming the worst, that won’t work anymore. 

“They know there was a fight. They know that our shinobi are nervous about something,” Hiruzen finally admits. “It won’t be much of a stretch for them to assume something else is going on. Orochimaru would have gone entirely unnoticed by the other villages if he had tried it at any other point.” 

“If Orochimaru picked another time to stop by for a visit, his presence wouldn’t have the same dramatic flair. He’s always been a sneaky bastard like that,” Jiraiya says, with a laugh. 

Hiruzen winces, the joke hitting a bit too close to home. “Yes, I am… aware of that.”

“Any idea why he chose now to come back?” 

“No. Three jounin found him on the exam grounds before he was able to do too much damage. However, we’ve lost him for the time being.” 

As if that weren’t already clear enough. 

Jiraiya rests his chin in his hand. Security around the village wouldn’t be quite so intense if they’d already found Orochimaru. There’s a fifty-fifty chance all shinobi in the village have been put on guard duty until the situation is resolved. And he’s willing to bet on that being the case. 

“And Naruto?” he asks, lightly. 

“Fine, as far as I’m aware. However, his cousin was the one to engage, along with Kakashi and Anko.” 

He feels himself rearing backwards before the words truly hit. “His cousin? You let someone come in here and tell you they were a Uzumaki? I would have known if Kushina had any siblings!” 

“A second cousin, then.” Hiruzen’s eyes turn to ice, begging Jiraiya to press further. “Regardless, Uzumaki Rin has done nothing but positively contribute to the village since he arrived. I expect you have some information to give me, yourself?” 

“Jeez, sensei. You can’t just drop that on someone, then expect them to spill everything they know!” 

Hiruzen lifts his eyebrows, unimpressed and making Jiraiya feel like he’s a genin all over again. How many times has he been on the receiving end of a look like that? More times than he got caught sneaking into the hot springs by Tsunade, that much is certain. All he’ll get if he continues pressing now is a good, long lecture. 

Like conversations could resemble anything other than a minefield these days. 

At least he has a name. All Jiraiya has to do now, if Hiruzen really isn’t going to spill the details, is put out his feelers and see if anything interesting comes back. Well, anything more interesting than a Uzumaki wandering about without a care. Every other Uzumaki he’s met has chosen to cast off their name for their own safety. 

Then again, Jiraiya always thought there was a chance that Nagato was- 

No, he put that behind him a long time ago.

Jiraiya groans. “Fine, fine. Most of it is probably outdated now, but there were some solid leads about the snake bastard moving up from the south. That’s why I stopped by in the first place. Hoped it would be a dead end, but you know how he manages to stay ten steps ahead.”

“Ten steps might be an understatement. Did you hear anything about his activities in the south?” 

Tonight is going to be a long night.


	20. a curious way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“But in some curious way - I wonder will you understand me?”_ -Oscar Wilde, _The Picture of Dorian Gray_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for all the wonderful comments and kudos <3

Sakura struggles to catch her breath. Her legs are trembling, but it’s so far away from everything else. The ground beneath her could very well be shaking instead, an earthquake that only she is privy to. 

Even a moment later and she wouldn’t have made it. The wall had been so desperate to reform after Naruto broke through, scrambling to get back into place. She backs up, half expecting Sasuke or Ino to be right behind her. But if she could feel the tendrils of sand nearly clamp around her leg and drag her back inside, there’s no way either of them made it through. 

“Let them go.” 

Her head shoots up, her vision filled by the orange of Naruto’s jacket. 

Danger, it seems to say. Bursting out of that prison of sand did nothing to secure their safety, not even for a moment. Sakura takes in a deep, shaky breath, and pulls herself back up to her full height. 

They aren’t alone here, now that she can see things a bit more clearly. If only, because the way the red haired genin standing across from them commands their attention reminds her of Zabuza, of standing aside while others fight for her. She can’t let that happen to her again. She won’t back down, no matter how intensely this genin is staring at Naruto. 

Who is seemingly radiating the colour red, Sakura notes with no lack of confusion. 

“Why?” 

The genin’s voice is dull, no desire for the answer behind it. Both of his companions recoil at the tone, and Sakura centers herself. One of the first things she learned, back before she even realized she was learning, is that a divided force is always easier to face than a united one. 

Easy will get her in trouble, though. Even if all three of them are necessary for that sand jutsu to work, it’s still more power than her, Naruto, and Sasuke combined. 

“They’re my friends,” Naruto says, nearly booming. “That means I’ll do whatever it takes to save them!” 

The genin blinks, a frown slowly being etched into his face. “They mean something to you.” 

But right now, what Sakura needs to do is trust Naruto. 

That comment may not have been meant for her, but something about Naruto is still different. At the very least, he seems to be stronger than he used to be. On some level, he must be able to make that work for him. 

Whatever interest the other genin is showing in this line of conversation will fade sooner rather than later. Sakura needs to find a weakness, any weakness in the meantime. No technique is infallible. No partnership is without its problems. 

And for whatever reason, the red haired genin’s teammates are keeping a very purposeful distance from him. Almost exactly a meter, if she’s judging the distance properly. That might be a coincidence, but more likely it isn’t, not when the teammates don’t seem to be preparing for combat at all. The amount of sand being controlled probably has a limit as well. It must be a limit beyond their abilities, but still a limit. 

Naruto nods. “Of course they do.” 

“Why? Monsters don’t need things like that.” The genin tilts his head to the side, like he’s trying to comprehend and failing. “We don’t need flimsy connections like that.” 

Monster.

Sakura glances at Naruto, despite herself. How many times has she heard someone call him that? How many times has she laughed, not bothering to consider why they thought of him as a monster? 

More times than she will willingly admit, most likely. To think that Naruto would still trust her after all of that. He’s trusting her now. 

Sakura steels herself and goes back to looking for weaknesses in earnest. She has to be onto something between the limits of his ability and the distance from his teammates. They don’t seem to be nearly as dangerous, at any rate. If only she had the opportunity to see him attack before getting thrown right into a fight. 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want friends!” Naruto declares. 

The words echo across the forest, almost cleared away by the sand in its entirety. Sakura’s heart sinks. No amount of regret will make up for those times she turned her back on Naruto. But if that’s how he really feels, she needs to try and make it up. 

“Only a fool would think people like us are capable of creating friendships.”

Sakura breathes in. “If you really think that, then you don’t know Naruto-kun!”

“S-sakura-chan…” 

“I don’t really know what the two of you mean by monsters,” she admits, quietly. “But he’s definitely capable of being friends with people. It’s just that the rest of us have been a bit slow to catch up.” 

Naruto is staring back at her now. 

Sakura can’t make herself look back at him though. There’s too much truth lingering behind her words to acknowledge them. Almost like something she would say to Ino, right before making a comment about her crush on Sasuke. 

“Leave.” 

The genin’s teammates startle. 

Neither of them look particularly surprised though, which rules out the sand being a joint technique. 

“Of course, Gaara. We’ll be waiting at the meeting point,” the girl murmurs, before the boy with the facepaint can say anything. 

Just like that, they turn around and leave. They don’t hesitate or question him, not a moment’s loyalty in the gesture. That can’t be right. 

Things may be different in other villages, but that is no excuse for leaving a teammate with two teams of enemy shinobi. Even the thought goes against Sakura’s very instincts. She can’t imagine doing the same thing to Naruto, no matter how bad things were between them at the time. That isn’t just turning against a teammate, that’s turning against their village. 

“Hey, just where do they think they’re going?” Naruto shouts, as if that will make the two of them turn around. 

They don’t.

“You will reveal your true nature now,” Gaara continues, monotone. “This facade may have treated you well here, but there is a better path.” 

“Don’t they care what happens to you?” 

Gaara looks over at her for the first time. It freezes her into place, every last inch of her body convinced that it can’t move. “No one cares what happens to a monster. Rather, my brother and sister welcome my death, just as your… friends do yours.” 

Her anger is a firestorm inside of her, and for the first time in her life, Sakura has someone she can direct the full force of it at. 

“Naruto-kun,” Sakura says quietly. “When I give the go-ahead, attack him.” 

Naruto doesn’t respond, not his usual grin, not a subtle nod of his head. Sakura isn’t worried about it though. Out of everyone she knows, Naruto is the one person who has never ignored her, regardless of the reason. 

Him ignoring her now would be just as likely as her punching Sasuke in the face.

Gaara turns back to Naruto. “Give me your name. I wish to remember you as someone who shared in my torment, before I kill you.” 

“Uzumaki Naruto,” Naruto says, simply. 

For the briefest moment, Gaara looks away and nods.

“Now.” 

“Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” 

Sakura braces herself for the sudden influx of bodies, unsurprised by his choice. Her trust may have paid off, but now she needs this to work. 

It won’t work if she stays where she is. There are too many clones surrounding her for her to see properly, too easy to get caught in the crowd. 

She does get caught in the crowd. They carry her along, nothing more or less than each of them. And each of them are insistent on throwing themselves at Gaara, not a second’s reprieve between attacks. Ten of them charge as she hangs back, and then all of them tossed into the air, disappearing in a cloud of smoke.

The same thing happens with the next round, then the next. Thirty or forty clones are gone, just like that. Naruto may have a hundred left, but Sakura knows a dead end where she sees one. With so many bodies between her and Gaara, it’s impossible to tell how he’s attacking. Impossible to see anything other than the periodic wave of sand, washing them away. Impossible to tell if the rhythm of the attacks is because of Naruto or him, if there’s any hesitation in the way the sand moves. 

Her feet start to move before she thinks about what to do next. Sakura already knows what she needs to do. The shuriken between her fingers are nearly brand new, unused except during last week’s training. 

Two clones are at her side before Sakura realizes it, offering the support she needs. They charge first, but this time she can see Gaara recoil before the sand comes up to block. It’s about the same distance that his teammates had been standing from him. That’s one point towards her theory. 

Her shuriken slice through the air.

The distance is the same. 

Sakura follows after them, chakra carefully balanced in her feet. Compared to Naruto and Sasuke, the amount of jutsu she knows is painfully little. Both of them are built for combat in a way she wasn’t. 

Now isn’t the time to let that stop her. 

Chakra rushes to her fist, nearly as an afterthought. The sand is too thick otherwise, and the theory can’t be too different from sending chakra to her feet to make herself run faster. 

Pain radiates from her wrist when she collides with Gaara’s sand. Sakura grits her teeth and bears it, the only thing she can do. Then the sand wraps around her fist, quickly climbing up her arm. 

Before Sakura can panic, it throws her away. Only her fingertips briefly touching the ground prevents her from crashing somewhere off in the distance, giving her the chance to slow herself down. She gasps for breath once her feet finally touch the ground. Gaara is staring at her again, but it’s different this time. His eyes are wider, desperate for something she can’t explain.

The distance is still the same.

Naruto runs towards her. His back is technically to the enemy, but Sakura can’t berate him for it when there’s another thirty clones with their eyes focused on Gaara. 

“If you get within half a meter of him, you might be able to land a hit,” she says, quickly. 

Naruto slows to a stop in front of her. “Huh?” 

“His sand automatically attacks anything within half a meter.” Sakura looks back towards Gaara, her conviction growing. “I don’t think he can control it. So, he might not be able to defend anything closer than that either.” 

“Really? Ah, I knew you’d figure something out!” Naruto proclaims. 

A wide grin spreads across his face and Sakura smiles back at him. There’s no stopping the seed of pride from forming in her chest. Her limbs ache, but her mind is speeding through every possibility. She knows she can do this. 

“If you use that attack from before, the one that broke through the wall in the first place, you might be able to reach him,” she continues. 

“I can do it.”

Sakura doesn’t doubt him. There’s an odd tinge of red to his eyes, despite him being entirely in control. Whatever makes him different, it can also help them now. 

Something changes then. 

Something in the way Gaara looks at them as Naruto turns to face him. The rest of his clones disappear and he charges. Sakura can’t understand the complexities there, but she sees the inattention. He doesn’t think they’re real threats. 

Naruto keeps moving. 

The sand falls. 

Gaara’s teal eyes widen as he stumbles backwards, leaving himself open for another blow. Sakura isn’t quite fast enough, but Naruto is. 

He’s fast enough and more. Sakura watches him turn on his heel in slow motion, recognizes the roundhouse kick as one of Kakashi-sensei’s move. It connects, just like that. Gaara’s back nearly curves with the force and he moves through the air like a ragdoll, headed straight for her. 

“No.” 

The ground shifts beneath her feet. A scream wells up in the back of her throat just as she realizes it isn’t just her, that everything from the dome with the others to the edge of the forest is moving. 

“No!” Gaara repeats, burying his head in his hands. 

Sand crawls up her ankles, no amount of running stopping it from hoisting Sakura up into the air. She only gets a glimpse of Naruto before she can merely hang there. Blood rushes to her head, any attempts to get away useless. 

But all they do is hang there. Gaara’s laboured breathing fills the otherwise empty clearing, his fingers tangled in his hair. Desperation shines in his eyes once he straightens himself up. Desperation and a hint of something Sakura can’t place, all over a smartening mark on his cheek. His hands shake as he stands there, staring at both of them with that terrifying expression and touching his wound. 

Another weakness of his occurs to Sakura, unwanted and unbidden. 

His pain tolerance must be much lower than most other people’s. Everyone Sakura knows has gone home with a wound like that at one point or another. But his defense means he doesn’t know what that feels like. It means he can’t keep going like shinobi are meant to. 

Gaara shakes off the last of his emotional display, his hand slowly lowering back to his side. “Pathetic.” 

“W-what?” she asks, despite herself. 

“I should kill you now,” Gaara states, as if she hadn’t said a word. His head tilts to the side, his breath nearly laughter. “I want to kill you. I want to kill everyone in this village. Maybe then you would face me properly. Why - why won’t you fight me properly?” 

Horror replaces the last bits of rage in Sakura’s chest. Nothing she can recall can be compared to the edge in his voice, as sharp as a weapon. 

“Yes, yes, then you must reveal your true nature. If there are no other people, then they won’t do the work for you. But later - later, I will make you reveal who you, then tear you apart,” Gaara mutters.

He turns and starts to walk away, just like that. 

Then Sakura is falling to the ground, just barely managing to stop herself from landing head-first.

* * *

Ino stares blankly ahead into the pitch black of their prison. There’s hardly enough room for all four of them to breath in here, their shoulders pressed together. Logically, she knows they should be looking for any structural weaknesses.

But Shikamaru is almost certainly thinking it over already, and she can hardly focus on things like that when somewhere on the other side of this dome, Sakura is fighting some over-powered jackass. Or who knows what, really. Some genin is about the least dangerous thing she can imagine, after Sakura told her about what happened earlier. 

Her hand reaches out to touch the wall in front of her. No grains of sand fall away with her touch, leaving nothing to suggest that this wall isn’t made of cement. A genin can’t be capable of this sort of destruction. No amount of training could have prepared any of them for someone like this. 

This is a bit much, just to become a chūnin.

“Ino, are you alright?” 

She automatically turns towards Chōji, despite the fact that she can’t see him. “I’m fine.” 

“Right.” Chōji pauses purposely, his doubt shining through. “It’s just that you’re a bit… quiet? I thought you’d be trying to talk the sand into disappearing by now.” 

“I’m _fine_.” 

“Because that was so believable,” Shikamaru mutters.

“I am! But do you know who isn’t fine? Sakura and Naruto-kun. I don’t know how Naruto-kun broke through this thing, but what if it was a one shot thing?” 

“There’s no point in worrying about them. They won’t last long anyways.”

All of the thoughts going through Ino’s mind halt. 

Anything else she wanted to say is stuck in the back of her throat. She wishes she were mistaken, but she’s idolized Sasuke for too long to mistake his voice for Shikamaru or Chōji. 

He’s said things like this before. It just never mattered much to her. Even when it was about Naruto, who was supposedly Sasuke’s friend, she could brush it off once he came first in an exam or didn’t quite brush her off. That wasn’t the same as this. Ino wants nothing more than to believe Sakura and Naruto can win out there, even if the desperation to know for certain is nearly impossible to calm. 

“What was that, Sasuke-kun?” she asks, hardly aware of how high her voice goes. 

There are more important things to worry about. 

Shikamaru catches it, perhaps before the others. “Ino.” 

“No, no, I want to know what he means by that.” 

“I mean that they’re going to get themselves killed out there.” Sasuke almost sounds exasperated like this, now that she can’t see his face. “Even a fool could see that much.” 

The pain of her nails digging into the palms of her hands isn’t nearly enough to break her out of her anger. Images keep popping into her head. Not images of Sakura bloody on the ground, but of Sakura proud of every test she got back, of nearly having the highest accuracy in the class. 

Out of everyone in their class, Sakura tried the hardest. Sasuke might have been at the top of the class, might have spent every moment he could training, but Sakura was different. From the moment Ino met her, she’s known that Sakura would succeed, regardless of how far behind she started out. It isn’t the same as being born into a clan where you’re told who and what you’ll be, right from the start. 

Ino would never want to be born into a different family, but she’s always been amazed at Sakura doing so much when she hasn’t had to. 

That alone puts her far above Sasuke and herself. 

“We won’t get out of here if we wait for them to win,” Sasuke continues, oblivious. 

Ino acts without thinking. Her arm rears back, her fist landing with a satisfying snap that makes her take in a shaky breath. 

Silence fills their prison. For the briefest moment, Ino wishes she could see the looks on everyone’s faces. 

Then the sand starts slipping away around them. 

It’s difficult to notice at first. All it feels like is more sand pooling around their feet, a half-moment of panic at the possibility of being buried alive. Then light starts to shine from above them, and Ino gets her wish much sooner than she thought. 

Sasuke stands there with one hand clutched over his nose. Red spills through his fingers, and it takes a moment for Ino to realize it’s blood. That snap, just as satisfying as landing a good hit while sparring with Asuma-sensei, must have been Sasuke’s nose breaking. She starts to laugh, light and hysterical. Her feet peddle backwards, nearly faltering when the sand doesn’t stop her. 

Ino just punched the boy she has a crush on, after years and years of pining after him. 

“I’m not saying he didn’t deserve that,” Chōji tells her, “but maybe you should have waited until later?” 

“W-what?” 

“Really, don’t get me wrong. This is great. But we’re in the middle of an exam.” 

Ino quickly shakes her head. “I just punched _Sasuke-kun_.” 

“I’m sure Shikamaru is proud too, if that makes you feel any better.” 

A laugh bursts out of Ino, unwanted. 

It still makes Chōji grin at her, even when she slaps a hand over her mouth at her own audacity. He doesn’t even look too surprised that she did it. Ino had known before that Shikamaru and Chōji aren’t Sasuke’s biggest fans, but she’d always thought it was because they were jealous or something like that. 

Maybe they weren’t so jealous, after all. She slowly starts to relax, finally smiling back at him as she lowers her hands back down to her sides. 

A quick glance back at Sasuke calms the rest of her nerves. Sakura is searching through her kunai pouch, undoubtedly looking for some sort of bandage to help stop the bleeding. She looks a bit worse for wear, exhaustion carried in the corners of her eyes, but no obvious wounds in sight. There can’t be a better satisfaction in the world. 

Then Naruto breaks out into laughter, as Shikamaru finishes his explanation, and her cheeks start to burn. He claps Sasuke’s shoulder, all his mocking saved for his teammate. 

Ino stops.

Sakura is staring at her now, jaw dropped open. The flush quickly travels down the back of Ino’s neck, and she ducks her head down before Sakura can see any of it. 

“Maybe we should go our separate ways after this,” Ino suggests, hesitantly. “We don’t really need help getting a scroll.”

Chōji snorts. “Don’t worry. I think Shikamaru is just about to suggest the same thing to them.”

* * *

“Do you really have to read that thing right now?” 

“Of course, Rin-chan,” Kakashi says, with ease. “I need to know what happens to Mizuki-san. The anticipation is lethal.” 

Rin eyes him suspiciously. “You already know what happens to Mizuki-san.” 

“Impossible.” 

“I’ve seen you read that book front to back at least three times. There’s no way you haven’t memorized it word for word.” 

Kakashi purposely doesn’t meet the pointed stare. “But the way Jiraiya-sensei weaves the words together is a true mark of mastery. Each time I start reading it is like the first, as it immediately captures me in its tale and thus I forget what happened.”

Nor does he acknowledge the strangled groan from the other side of the room, as one of the other guards finally reacts. Having new victims to confront with his personal habits is always a joy. Kakashi is simply impressed that it took the Iwa jounin an entire hour to react in any obvious way. Twitching eyes don’t count. 

He’s still holding out on the Taki nin, though. His face has been so painfully still that Kakashi isn’t entirely convinced that he’s a real person, instead of just a shell of one. Suna nin are the ones who specialize with puppetry, but that doesn’t always mean anything. 

Being put on guard duty had been inevitable. Kakashi should have expected being put on the first shift as well, given their moment of insubordination this morning. Trust the Hokage to reach for a punishment like this. The only way it could have been more predictable is if he had come out and said it.

He glances up at the door, disappointed when it stays firmly shut. Only one of the teams has made its way here thus far, and being stuck in here means that he doesn’t know what’s happening with Team Seven. Here being the underground bunker standing in as a safe house. Other than being underground, its features include two front doors and an ever-rotating shift of guards. Even before him and Rin arrived, someone decided that there would be at least one non-Konoha jounin on each shift to ease tensions. 

Still, he would feel so much better if the Taki jounin showed some emotion. 

The half-step forward Rin abruptly takes is nearly unnoticeable. 

Kakashi lowers his book and frowns. “Rin-chan?” 

Rin blinks slowly. “What is it?” 

Both of the other guards are paying attention now, their gazes digging into Kakashi. One wrong move and they will report back to their superiors, the Hokage had informed them. Anything can be constructed as suspicious in this situation. 

The pale shade of Rin’s cheeks becomes a trick get the other guards out of the room. The hazy glaze in Rin’s eyes lets them plan a way to prevent teams from coming inside the bunker. Their conversation stops them from properly protecting their precious next generation of shinobi. And truthfully, Kakashi would think the same thing if he were in their position. 

“Nothing,” he finally says. “I just had a thought about Sasuke.” 

Rin tries for a smile. “Don’t worry. I don’t think Naruto will kill him just yet.” 

“Ah, I was actually more worried about it going the other way around.”


	21. stare blankly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”_ -F. Scott Fitzgerald, _The Great Gatsby_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for the wonderful comments and kudos! <3

“Only if Sakura doesn’t get to them first,” Rin jokes, lightly. 

Judging by the steady expression on Kakashi’s face, the joke falls flat. 

The weight of Kakashi’s gaze becomes too much after a short moment and Rin looks back at the stairs leading up to the outside. The door still doesn’t budge. He doesn’t expect it too, not really. But that is something easier to focus on than Kakashi or the other two guards in the room with them. 

His hands clench in his pockets as another wave of lightheadedness overtakes him. The world blurs in front of him, the stairs indistinguishable from the grey rock walls or the wooden beams stopping dirt ceiling from toppling down on top of them. Pain follows closely behind it, just like last time. 

Only the feeling isn’t so much pain as it is something else. His heart is nearly being pulled out of his chest, a tugging that he has no idea what to do with. It almost reminds Rin of the headaches he got when he first came back to Konoha. Those were different only in that they slowly got better, his brain less likely to feel like it was about to burst from his skull the longer he spent here. Each wave of lightheadedness is worse than the last.

When this wave doesn’t stop, Rin squeezes his eyes shut in one last desperate attempt to calm his racing heart. 

Then, just like that, it fades again. 

Kakashi is still staring at him when he opens his eyes. The only way he hasn’t noticed that something is going on is if he took a blow to the head while they were fighting Orochimaru and the nurse failed to mention it. 

Soon enough, no amount of silent begging will stop him from doing something. 

Nature chakra starts to filter in before Rin comprehends what he’s doing, then he lets out a shaky breath. Just the faintest trace of chakra feels like it wants to choke him to death, dark and angry and so obviously Kurama that Rin nearly goes to comfort the bijuu. Only it’s been the better part of a decade since Kurama last resided inside of him. 

Another wave overtakes him before he can parse the meaning behind it. This one sends him stumbling backwards, his back leaning against the wall before he can get any further. 

It isn’t just his heart this time. Every vein and artery throughout his body must be lurching forwards, closer to something else. The feeling starts in his chest, then quickly spreads further and further outwards with each beat of his heart. Methods to stop it flit in and out of his head before he can grasp any single one of them. 

“Rin-chan.”

Rin forces his eyes open at the sound of his name, Kakashi’s face swimming in front of him. Nobody should look quite that panicked. 

“Rin,” Kakashi repeats, and something about the sound of his own name makes Rin pay attention. “Look at me.” 

His mouth opens to assure Kakashi that he is, just as another wave hits him. 

This time it pulls him under, everything else fading away.

* * *

“I think this will be easier if both of you just meet me at the meeting point on the last day.”

“No.”

Yoroi’s face is impossible to see behind his mask, but Kabuto doesn’t need something so obvious to know what he thinks about his suggestion. People show other tells in their shoulders, the way they hold themselves. 

Had things gone more according to plan, Kabuto likely would have received a reluctant agreement, rather than this. But none of them can pretend they didn’t feel Orochimaru’s chakra earlier, even with the Forest of Death disorientating their senses. Kabuto is fairly certain he recognized the other chakra as well, not that he has shared that information. Determining the victor, as well as completing their orders, is impossible.

The Uchiha boy is in the wind, with no concrete clues of where he disappeared to. If they don’t find him soon, then they will have no choice but to move on to Plan B. News of whether or not Orochimaru has been killed or captured will determine what they do from there, but their cover needs to be maintained in the meantime. Without that much, their hopes of leaving Konoha at all diminish to nothing.

Not that Kabuto is particularly worried. Something happening to Orochimaru only shows him that Oto doesn’t offer enough room for him to grow into his skillset. There are other options available to him.

“Our objectives have been different since the beginning,” Kabuto says instead, and he counters the dull stares of his teammates with a smile. “This way, it will be easier for me to fulfill my orders properly. And vice versa, I’m certain.”

“Why should we just believe this? The best thing we can do right now is protecting the village by waiting for further orders,” Misumi interjects.

Yoroi doesn’t waver, not even briefly, as he stays focused on Kabuto. “And your method includes leaving Uchiha Sasuke alone.”

“Do you not have any faith in Orochimaru-sama, then?” 

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Ah, I see. Neither of you have any faith in Orochimaru-sama.” Kabuto tilts his head, his words filled with conviction. “Even the combined force of Konoha’s jounin would have difficulties defeating him. If you suggest we undertake our backup plan now, then you’re assuming that Orochimaru-sama could not manage to confront a single genin team.”

His little lie should be easily accepted, when mixed with an insult to their pride. 

It certainly is enough to make Misumi’s jaw set stubbornly. “Didn’t you think it was necessary to leave Konoha and warn Orochimaru-sama about some newcomer a couple weeks ago? That almost seems to suggest that you have no faith in him.” 

“Would Orochimaru-sama feel the same way? I mean, he has already forgiven me for my transgression.” 

“He would.”

“His patience only goes so far.” 

Yoroi and Misumi look at each other, then back at Kabuto. 

Fear is not what shines through them, which is a true shame. Moving forwards would have been easier with the help of a team. Or at least Kabuto could have put off deciding what to do next until he confirmed Orochimaru’s victory. 

Temporary allies are always like this, though. They have their own goals to chase after, meaning their intentions hardly ever line up with Kabuto’s own. It very nearly reminds him of that girl back in Iwa. I don’t really care who you are, she had whispered to him under the cover of night, so long as you can get me out of here. 

That was the last time they’d spoke.

His head tips back to consider the canvas of trees above. The sun stopped filtering through the branches several hours ago, leaving them in near total darkness. Even if someone is listening in on them right now, all they’ll be able to see is the vague outline of their bodies. The symbol on his hitai-ate, the colour of his clothes, the people he’s talking to would be a mystery to that potential person. These conditions couldn’t be any more perfect.

“I hope you know that I wanted to avoid this,” Kabuto tells them, calmly. 

They tense, but Kabuto has always had the upper hand with them. The first secret is to always have immediate access to a weapon. 

The second secret is that faith and loyalty really aren’t concepts he lives his life by.

* * *

Running through the forest now feels a bit surreal. The tingly feeling from the exam grounds is gone, but that isn’t the half of it. Naruto keeps expecting Gaara to pop up out of nowhere, or maybe that snake monster from earlier to start charging at them.

Neither of those things happen. They don’t happen when he jumps to the ground or when he glances back to check on Sakura and Sasuke. They don’t even happen when the three of them take a brief break to eat something and go to the bathroom. As far as Naruto knows, everyone from the exam has forgotten about them. 

Sakura winces to his left. 

Naruto doesn’t say anything about it, only because he already knows she won’t answer. That’s what happened the last three times he tried to ask if she’s okay. Most of the time, he would be overjoyed at the wide smiles she’s been giving him, if not falling over his own feet. But most of the time isn’t right now. 

Sakura isn’t the only one affected by their fight with Gaara. Although, every time Naruto glances at Sasuke, he can’t help but snicker at the awkward angle of his nose, at the black circles beneath his still-red eyes. When the exam is finished, he needs to treat Ino to a nice, big bowl of ramen. All they have left is this last portion too, whatever it is.

And that would be entrance to the place they’re supposed to go.

Getting around the boulder is as simple as stepping around it. Naruto still has to blink at the door behind it though, more out of place than Kakashi-sensei’s copy of Icha Icha in a restaurant.

But Iruka-sensei had told them to knock three times before entering, so he does that, however hesitantly. Then immediately opens the door. 

Naruto stares down the creepy stairs, wooden and rickety-looking even from the top. “Uh, are you guys sure we want to go down there?” 

“What are you even waiting for, dobe?” 

“What are _you_ waiting for, teme?”

“You.” 

A retort catches in Naruto’s mouth as he turns back to the staircase. Turning back now isn’t an option, even if he wanted it to be. 

The stairs creak beneath his feet, right from the first step he takes. Sasuke huffs from behind him, but that does nothing to take away from the way light flickers at the bottom of the stairs. Something is going to come out and kill you, is what that dim light seems to tell him. 

A chill runs down his back when he takes the next step. Someone must be walking over his grave right about now, because that’s the only explanation he can think of, and-

Naruto nearly runs down the rest of the stairs before he can think about it any further. There’s a shout from somewhere behind him, but he just can’t take it anymore. Everything about this place feels creepy to begin with. The last thing he needs to think about is ghosts and how they could be haunting this place and how he can do nothing about it if that’s the case. 

Four jounin stare at him as he takes in his new surroundings. None of them are familiar, even though two of them are wearing Konoha hitai-ate. 

That doesn’t make them anything less than Konoha shinobi.

“Village and team,” one of the Konoha jounin asks once Sakura and Sasuke join him, his voice monotone.

Naruto offers a hesitant smile. “And, uh, who are you guys?”

“What Naruto-kun means is that we’re Team Kakashi from Konoha,” Sakura cuts in, shooting him a strange look. 

The jounin raises one of his eyebrows, but doesn’t question her. Naruto is only mostly relieved that the decision is taken out of his hands as he ignores Sasuke’s odd look. At least they’ll know they aren’t in the right place if this guy turns out to be some sort of ghost. They might also be dead, but that’s another problem.

“You’ll be staying in Room 109 until this portion of the exam is over,” a non-Konoha jounin informs them, reading off of a piece of paper. “However, there’s also a note here, saying that you need to visit Room 58 first.”

Sakura smiles at him, politely. “Thank you!” 

The jounin nods and lets them through the door. Naruto gives the four guards a suspicious look before he continues into the bunker. 

If they are ghosts, then Naruto can continue to ignore it after he’s slept for an entire twenty-four hours. Although, it could be some sort of trap. They go to this secret room in an underground bunker in the middle of nowhere, then someone finds their bodies four years from now, nothing more than dusty skeletons along the side of a creek. Sakura rolls her eyes and continues on through the door, oblivious to Naruto’s train of thought.

Sasuke stays right where he is, his feet rooted in place. “Why do we have to go to Room 58?”

Naruto stops, as does Sakura a few steps in front of him. 

The guard’s words from before catch up to him right then and there. He slowly turns around and stares at the guard who told them where to go, suspiciously. Nothing is revealed in his face. Forget ghosts, this could very well be some secret plot to take their team out of the exam. 

“Does it look like I know?” the jounin asks, exasperated.

Naruto draws himself up taller. “Yes!” 

One of the Konoha shinobi snorts, drawing their attention back to the other people in the room. “Relax, you guys. I’m fairly certain one of the jounin-sensei just wants to talk to you about an incident that happened earlier. It shouldn’t be anything other than quick and painless.”

The three of them exchange a heavy look. 

Out of everything that’s happened in the last twenty-four hours, there’s only one thing that someone else would want to talk to them about. Those few moments in the line of fire with Kakashi-sensei and Rin. With any luck, it’s even Kakashi-sensei waiting for them in that room, moments away from telling them that they worry too much. 

Or, Naruto realizes, a heavy weight forming in his gut, someone could have found out about the Kyuubi. No one has ever told him anything about this whole jinchūriki thing, but he’s fairly certain making a deal with the Kyuubi isn’t supposed to be a part of that. They have to understand that he didn’t have a choice though. If he hadn’t broken free of Gaara’s sand, all six of them might be dead right now.

_Screw what they think_ , the Kyuubi growls from the back of his mind. 

“Thanks for the information, jounin-san,” Sakura quickly cuts in. “We’ll head there now then.”

The Konoha jounin snorts as Sakura starts tugging Naruto and Sasuke through the door, not giving either of them an opportunity to refuse. Indignation quickly wells up in Naruto’s throat once the door closes behind him. 

“Sakura-chan,” he says, drawing out her name, as she lets them go, “why did you do that? We could have definitely gotten more information out of them!” 

“More like they would have just gotten annoyed at you,” Sasuke mutters. 

Naruto’s mouth falls open and he stares at Sasuke’s quickly retreating back. “Hey!”

“Sasuke-kun’s right about this,” Sakura interjects. “We’ll find out what this is about once we get there, anyways.”

Naruto falls silent, mere seconds away from stuffing his hands in his pockets, as he starts following Sakura and Sasuke down the hall. 

The inside of the bunker is not any less creepy than the rickety stairs leading down to it. Every time Naruto glances down a hall in their search for one of the room they’re supposed to go to, he half-expects someone to be standing there, staring at them. Maybe someone with tired-looking eyes like Gaara’s. Or worse, someone with a body like the snake monster’s, just waiting for the right opportunity to charge after them and suck the blood from their bones. 

No one shows up, and for some reason, that’s almost worse than actually seeing someone or something. They can’t be the first ones to get through the second portion of the exam. At the very least, one of guards from earlier would have mentioned it. Iruka-sensei definitely would have mentioned it when they opened the scrolls. 

And yet, the only thing in sight is seemingly endless hallways full of closed doors. Each door has a number, nothing else around to tell them apart from one another. They keep on walking despite that, the same unsettling vibe from before only getting stronger and stronger the further they get.

They hear the laughter before they see the door. 

It echoes down the hall, the only sign of life they’ve seen since leaving the entrance. Naruto freezes automatically, making Sasuke nearly walk right into him while he’s too distracted checking the numbers on the doors.

“Did… you guys hear that?” Naruto asks, softly. 

“What are you-” Sakura cuts herself off as another wave of laughter starts, clearly from ahead and then around the corner. “Maybe we should turn back. And check the rooms behind us. Again.” 

Naruto nods, firmly. “We probably just passed our room.” 

“Meaning it’ll be there when we turn back.” 

“Uh-huh. No need to go that way.”

“I’m going.” 

Naruto slowly turns his head to stare at Sasuke as the words slowly compute. 

A long moment passes, but Sasuke stays rooted in place beside him, even the stubborn line of his mouth stuck in place, despite his words. The laughter fades again, but that doesn’t make Naruto feel anymore at ease. That doesn’t do anything but make his stomach rapidly sink.

Then the sound of a door opening echoes through the hall. 

Voices follow after it, none of the words distinguishable from one another, but still louder than it feels they should be. Someone else laughs, and the blood quickly starts to drain from Naruto’s face as they break out into a thick cough in the middle of it, rough and sickly-sounding.

Even looking away from the hall feels too risky. Something might come out of the hall in the few moments he’d spending checking if Sakura and Sasuke are in the same position as him. 

Footsteps start up, slowly getting closer and closer. A scream builds in the back of his throat as he waits for that moment when whoever, whatever it is turns around the corner. There’s no telling what they will do to them.

The scream dies at the sight of blinding green spandex, though the horror grows when Naruto sees who it’s attached to. Time must have blurred the memory of just how eye-grabbing that green spandex is, because Naruto certainly doesn’t remember it being that difficult to look away. If he had to choose between Maito Gai and confronting that snake monster from earlier, he isn’t certain which he would choose. 

“Ah, if it isn’t my rival’s youthful team!” Gai booms. 

Sakura groans, nearly verging on a sob. 

At least that grin isn’t as creepy as watching him cry with Lee had been. 

“I did not imagine that I would see you here so soon. Or that I would see anyone standing there, I must confess. The three of you nearly gave me quite the fright!” Gai grins at the three of them, the full force of it difficult to look at. “You should come with me now. I had intended on grabbing food for myself and a few others, but it seems there is a conversation we need to have first.” 

Naruto opens his mouth, then promptly closes it as Gai starts to walk back down the hall, clearly expecting them to follow. 

His feet start moving more by instinct than anything else. It isn’t until Sakura makes a loud, nervous exhale does Naruto notice the pointed glances Sasuke keeps giving him and realizes what he’s doing. 

“Hey, wait a minute!” he shouts, stopping in his tracks. “Why are we talking to you and not Kakashi-sensei?” 

Gai pauses and turns back to look at them. His grin fades away, revealing something far sadder than what Naruto even slightly expected. “I understand your confusion, Naruto-san, however, it’s for the best if we have this conversation away from prying ears. I promise everything will make sense then.”

His heart plummets, the despair quickly overcoming him as they stand there in the otherwise silent hallway. 

Words like that never spell anything other than disaster. 

Naruto doesn’t notice Gai until a hand drops down on his shoulder and he looks up, immediately meeting a comforting gaze. “I have no reason to lie. Not to you, and not to your teammates. That’s why I urge you to believe when I say everything is going to be fine.”

“Yeah, of course,” he says, frustration seeping into his voice.

Sasuke sighs. “Well, we’re never going to find out what’s going on if we stay here, dobe.” 

His head snaps up to look at Sasuke, but he won’t meet his eyes, regardless of how long Naruto stares for. Gai chuckles, not saying another word as he straightens up and leads them into the room, the door closing behind all three of them with a soft click. 

The room itself isn’t nearly as creepy as Naruto had been expecting. Any relief he might have gotten from that, though, is pushed to the side by the pressing stares of the other people in the room. 

A few of them seem familiar, but it takes a few moments for him to place them as other Konoha shinobi. Two of the sensei for their year are here, sitting across from each other at a table along the right wall. Kiba’s and Shikamaru’s, Naruto thinks, although he doesn’t remember anything about them being close to each other. But that is certainly Kiba’s older sister on one of the couches, about as far from consciousness as she could be. 

“Please sit down,” Gai requests, motioning towards the second, empty couch. 

None of them protest, sitting almost in unison. Sakura’s elbow awkwardly digs into his side as he gets squished between her and the armrest, but he keeps his mouth shut. This isn’t the time to complain. Not that it would stop him if it were Sasuke, instead of Sakura. 

Gai nods and settles in on the floor in front of them, watching. 

A few long seconds pass, before one of the other jounin snorts and speaks up. “Is there a reason why you’ve let a genin team take over the couch?” 

“Hayate, my friend, you know as well as I do that this is Kakashi’s team. Time is necessary to formulate a proper explanation as to what has happened,” Gai says, calmly. 

Hayate eyes them briefly, “I see.” 

“Yes, Kakashi left me with this important duty. I fully intend on completing it as well as I possibly can.” Gai takes in a deep breath, before continuing, “Very well then! First order of business is that Kakashi is perfectly fine. He may be carrying a few bruises, but I have every faith in the healing capabilities of my destined rival.”

The tension drains out of them like air from a balloon. Naruto falls back into the couch and stares up at the ceiling with a breathy laugh, his legs stretching out in front of him. Out of everything he expected to hear, this ranks just about last. Now, he just needs to start planning his revenge for this with Sakura and Sasuke. It’s bad enough that Kakashi-sensei didn’t stick around to congratulate them, but he went and stuck them with someone else’s sensei too.

A huff in the back of his head makes him sit up a bit taller. _Listen, brat. The green one isn’t finished yammering yet, and whatever he has to say, it isn’t going to be good._

“Since when do you even care?” Naruto mutters underneath his breath.

_Since your ability to function makes a difference to what I want._

“And now for the second order of business.” Gai looks down, his smile bitter. “I presumed that telling you the good news would be the easiest option.”

“That isn’t an explanation, Gai-sensei,” Sakura softly points out.

“No. No, it is not. My rival actually meant to congratulate your youthful success in person. However, the fates have brought him elsewhere. Hana was… uncertain as to what was wrong with a mutual friend of ours, so she rightfully directed Kakashi to bring him to the hospital, where he could receive proper treatment.”

A loud snore from the kunoichi in question answers, then Hana rolls over onto her side, so that her back is facing them. Naruto stares at her, frowning. Her breathing is calm and steady, but it’s hard to tell whether or not she’s actually sleeping. Iruka has always been able to pretend to sleep, even to the point where he can’t tell the difference between that and him actually sleeping.

Naruto turns his frown back on Gai and pushes himself up. “Why did Kakashi-sensei have to be the one to take this guy to the hospital? Plenty of other people could have done it!” 

“You are not wrong! However, Kakashi was insistent that he be the one to take Rin-san.’

The last argument dies in the back of Naruto’s throat. 

Naruto quickly glances to his side, but neither Sakura or Sasuke will meet his eye. Neither of them tell him that Gai has to be wrong about this, that this must be some sort of mistake. No one else meets his eye when he looks around the rest of the room either, not a single one of the jounin gathered here. 

Some of them must know Rin. Even if Rin hasn’t been here for long, some of them must know that Rin is far healthier than any one of them are. Healthy people don’t just need to be taken to the hospital. 

He stumbles up to his feet, outrage lodging itself inside his chest. “Liar! There’s no way-”

“Dobe, shut it,” Sasuke interjects. 

“Hey!”

A touch at his elbow tugs him back down to the couch, his knees giving way beneath him before he can stop it. Sakura sighs when he does, then starts calmly speaking, “We don’t know what happened to Rin, Naruto-kun. Not unless Gai-sensei knows anything else?”

“Unfortunately, no.” Gai abruptly ducks his head, his shoulders a straight line behind him. “I must apologize! The youthful bond between your team and Rin-san has always been something to treasure. To make up for the error I have made, I will complete seven hundred laps around the village. On my hands.”

Kurenai sighs and stands up from the table, slowly walking over to them. “Gai, maybe this isn’t the time to make such promises. What they need to know is that Rin will be fine. And you guys, he will be. Just go to your room for now, and try to unwind. Hana will patch you up as soon as she finishes her nap.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that,” Naruto mutters, yelping at the immediate elbow he gets to the side. 

“Also,” Kurenai continues, clearly ignoring him, “Congratulations on getting this far.”


	22. burning brightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made.”_ -Tyler Kent White

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, this took me a lot longer than expected. There probably won't be any more updates until January though, just a head's up. I'm at my mother's house for the winter holidays and Yuri!!! On Ice has kinda taken over my life. Hope you enjoy!

“There isn’t much more I can do about your wrist. Stress fractures are a finicky business, meaning there’s a higher chance of something going wrong than me actually helping.” 

“Right,” Sakura says, quietly. 

“You’ll be fine, really. You just need rest. And I mean actual rest, not just going a few days without diving headfirst into a fight.” Hana pauses meaningfully, then looks over at Sasuke, her frown growing. “Actually, both of you can listen to that advice.”

Sasuke scowls and ignores the urge to gently touch his nose. It still aches, even after Hana popped it back into place and healed it, but that did nothing to combat the indignation of having it broken in the first place. 

He’s still trying to figure out which of the two bother him more: Ino landing a punch on him in the dark or Naruto and Sakura breaking them out. Both make his stomach churn uncomfortably, both make it difficult for him to even look at Naruto or Sakura. They keep talking to him like nothing has changed these last twenty-four hours. 

This portion of the exam won’t end for another three and a half days either. Which means three whole days of sitting around and waiting for other teams to show up, either through getting their scrolls or being disqualified. There isn’t even enough room to train around here, everything carefully laid out so that no one can gain a sudden advantage over someone else.

“And you.” 

Sasuke starts to glare, stopping only once he realizes Hana is focused in on Naruto and not him. 

“Me?” Naruto laughs, nervously. “No need to worry about me!” 

Hana slowly lifts one of her eyebrows. “Really? Because Sakura-chan mentioned that both of you took quite the tumble. People don’t just walk away from that without so much as a bruise.”

“If not worse,” Sasuke mutters.

Naruto swivels around to scowl at him and Sasuke avoids his gaze, even as a smirk plays along his lips. 

Trust Naruto to conveniently forget that he got himself injured, all the while dragging them to see the medic. Also trust him to make a complete stranger look at him like she’s some sort of furious mother dog, moments away from guarding her puppies. 

“Uzumaki Naruto, get over here,” Hana demands, her voice low.

Naruto takes a definite step backwards. “I’m fine, I promise!” 

“If you don’t let me heal you of your own free will, I have every intention of pinning you to the ground and healing you anyways. Don’t think I won’t. Kiba can certainly contest to it.”

The similarities between her and Kiba are more than obvious, that much is for certain. Sasuke is nearly tempted to shuffle over to the side himself, just to get as far away from her as he physically can. 

Naruto holds out only for a brief moment before all but throwing himself to the futon Hana had commandeered for tending to injured teams. Hana’s face immediately morphs back into the wide grin she’d worn while treating him and Sakura. Sasuke eyes her carefully. If he didn’t know any better, he wouldn’t have guessed that she had been angry only minutes ago.

All of them except Naruto can see the green chakra coat Hana’s hands. But Sasuke stays focused on Naruto’s face, at the tense lines around his closed eyes and the awkward way he keeps opening and closing his hands. Never before has Sasuke seen Naruto be healed. Even he’s needed healing once or twice, although he prefers not to think about the time he stumbled during a tree running exercise and broke his leg.

The entire week it took for the medic nin to heal it properly, Naruto kept showing up at his house and bothering him. It started out as a determination to keep Sasuke fed, but the excuses were quickly dropped.

Hana pulls her hands away, with a frown. “You’re… fine.”

“Ha!” Naruto beams at the three of them, oblivious to the tension. “I told you guys! Heh, it actually hurt a bit back when I first fell, but it couldn’t have been that bad, because it only lasted a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?” Hana asks, faintly. “And you’re certain you fell from the same height that Sakura-chan did?”

“Of course! But that’s what always happens. I mean, that was my first time falling like that, but for most things, I usually just need to take a nap before it goes away. Isn’t it like that for you guys too?”

All three of them stare.

Sasuke sees Sakura reach for her shoulder from the corner of his eye, and frowns in sympathy. The bruise she received from the same thing had gone from the base of her neck to halfway done her back. Hana had been able to heal it easily, but it must have hurt. 

Had Sakura landed any other way, she might have lost the ability to walk. 

He could imagine how lucky she must feel right now. A bit like how relieved he’d felt this morning when he woke up to find his Sharingan deactivated once more, the stinging faded away to a dull nothing. 

“No, it’s not,” Sasuke finally answers. 

Naruto stares at him, silently challenging his response, before slumping back onto the futon. It makes Sasuke see him in a new light now, one that might explain at least a bit of why he acts the way he does.

“You’re joking, right, Naruto-kun?” Sakura speaks up. “I mean, you have to at least know what it’s like to be sick. You stayed home whenever a cold went around.” 

Naruto freezes. 

Then he reaches up to rub the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “Of course, but that’s-”

“You just skipped out, because that’s what everyone else was doing,” Sasuke cuts in, his eyes narrowed. “That’s what you always used to tell me.”

“Uh.” 

Sakura scowls. “Naruto-kun!”

“Ok, so maybe I just stayed home, but that wasn’t the reason why!” Sasuke keeps his eyes on Naruto, until he sheepishly adds, “It was because everyone’s coughing got really annoying to listen to all the time.”

“You thought our coughing was… annoying?” Sakura repeats back to him, exasperated.

“Yes?”

Sasuke snorts. “I told you it was stupid-”

“Hey! It isn’t stupid-”

Naruto’s words die as Hana drops her hand onto his head, pushing it down as she mercilessly ruffles his hair. “Don’t worry, kid,” she says, her smirk bleeding into her voice. “Have pride in not getting sick, rather than worry about it. You know what I’d do to get an immunity like that?”

Naruto immediately quiets as he looks over at her. “A lot?”

“Exactly. And if anyone tells you they wouldn’t do the same, they’re lying. Especially if it’s Kiba. Actually, if Kiba ever tells you something like that, feel free to kick his ass. His head needs a serious readjustment every now and then.”

A surprised laugh echoes through the room, causing Sasuke’s mouth to go dry. 

How many times has Sasuke heard that sound and been so proud of himself that everything else faded away? His gaze drops, so that he can’t see the matching smile. More times than he can reasonably count, in all honesty. 

Things are better this way. Sasuke pulls that truth back into him, despite everything screaming at him otherwise, and takes in a deep breath. Naruto may not be as weak as he had originally thought, but there’s no denying that he won’t be able to stand up against Itachi, when it comes down to it. Bringing him into that will only end in his death, regardless of any thoughts Sasuke might have had as a child. 

Itachi managed to massacre dozens of jounin without difficulty. 

Naruto has only been able to create a proper clone for a few months now. Sasuke has to keep that in mind when he thinks about everything else, when memories of fighting against Zabuza come up to the surface. Things are better this way.

“Alright, alright, time for you guys to get going. Same thing as usual, come find me if you experience anything unusual over the next few days, but otherwise everything should be fine.” Hana narrows her eyes and the blood drains from Sasuke’s face as she focuses her attention on him. “Unusual includes anything with your eyes, Sasuke-kun. Don’t think I didn’t notice the strain there.” 

“What-” 

Hana abandons them right then and there, before either Sakura or Naruto have the opportunity to voice their questions. They turn to him the moment she’s gone, their mouths open with the questions they clearly have. 

Questions Sasuke has no intention of answering. 

“It’s just a side effect of the Sharingan,” Sasuke answers and quickly starts walking away as well. 

“But-” 

“It’s fine.” 

Naruto groans loudly, but doesn’t press the issue and the sound of footsteps quickly follow behind him. Sasuke slowly relaxes again, even as he stays firmly focused ahead. To have them worry now will just throw off their chances for this exam. Learning how to properly use the Sharingan can’t be that difficult if everyone else from his clan managed to do it.

And if worst comes to worst, then he can figure out how to de-activate it later. After he’s successfully defeated whoever he’s up against. 

The last of the noise from the medical room dies away as they start down the hall. This place seems a lot livelier now than it did last night, much to Sasuke’s relief. Even now, there are a couple open doors along the hallway, signs of life that make the impending sense of doom ease away, just a bit.

“Wait!” 

Sasuke instinctively turns back around, and stops once he sees Naruto standing in the middle of the hall, his shoulders hunched around his ears. 

Deep breathing fills the hall around them, slow, but certainly not steady. Sasuke’s feet stay rooted in place. He can see Sakura looking towards him, questioning, before she looks back towards Naruto, but he can’t manage to turn away. He can’t focus on anything other than the loud heartbeat echoing in his own ears, the way Naruto clenches and unclenches his fists. 

“I’m not… I’m not like you guys,” Naruto confesses, the words echoing through the hall.

Sasuke tenses. “What are you talking about, dobe?” 

“I’m not! There’s this demon called the Kyuubi and it’s sealed inside of me and that’s why everyone hates me! And they’re going to hate me even more once they found out that I made a promise with it.” 

“A demon? Is that why-” Sakura cuts herself off with a small frown. 

“Why I’m a monster? I guess so. I mean, no one ever tells me outright, but…” Naruto slowly trails off with a grimace, letting the silence speak for itself.

But it didn’t take much for him to figure it out by himself, is what it seems to say. But being turned away at the door of most shops and restaurants had already made him feel lesser, is what Sasuke already knows. 

The little things start to piece together for the first time. People have always stood by and whispered about Naruto, but Sasuke has never thought twice about it when they did the same to him. Only sometimes, when he was younger, adults would come up to him and ask in quiet, concerned voices why he bothered hanging around Naruto, and wouldn’t their grandchildren be better? Wouldn’t someone who didn’t hold the monster that destroyed their village be better than Naruto?

And then there was that moment of red from before the fight with Gaara, the way the foreign chakra had settled around him with ease. Why Naruto agreed to such a deal after that is not so much of a question.

“What did you promise it?” Sasuke asks, with an air of frigid tenseness.

Naruto pauses, hesitating, then steels himself. “I promised I would free him. And I have every intention of doing it.”

* * *

Rin breathes in and out, his eyes flickering back and forth beneath his eyelids. 

He also hasn’t moved for over sixteen hours at this point. Kakashi stares at him from across the room, searching his memory for any sign that something had been off between them leaving the hospital and Rin collapsing. So far, he’s come up with nothing. 

Not that the medics have been any more useful in that regard. His questions may have been answered, but he can spot a platitude a mile out, and the careful stepping around giving a real answer had been clear to see. The “we’ll see”s and “we’re just going to try this for now”s all amount to the same thing, anyways. They don’t know anything more about what’s going on than he does. 

His stomach twists and churns. Every second that he spends here adds to the need to get up and move, to hit something until it gives way beneath him. Rin and Obito would not want him to do this. 

Kakashi isn’t certain whether the this in question is him forming a bond with someone who isn’t them or being alone anymore. Perhaps hours or days or weeks spent in front of the Memorial Stone in quiet regard for them would give him that answer. More likely, it wouldn’t. Regardless, his feet are rooted into place, preventing him from doing anything about the slowly increasing pressure on his chest. 

No amount of waiting here will make Rin wake up. But Kakashi can already hear the steady mantra of guilt start, consuming his mind, his eyes dry from staring for too long. The real question might be why he’s gotten himself so attached, so quickly. If he listens to the silence long enough, he might just be able to hear Rin - his Rin, the one forever stuck at fourteen, her voice telling him, “This isn’t like you, Kakashi-kun! It’s almost like you care or something.”

Caring implies so much more than he wants it to. Caring implies that he’s gotten himself in too deep, that he’s opened himself up to everything he said he wouldn’t. 

The pressure on his chest increases and Kakashi finally drops his gaze, finding a sudden interest in the floor while his head rests in his hands. 

This clearly isn’t working. 

Maybe it never was.

“Why?” he mutters, chock full of self-hatred. 

“And here I hoped that you’d have some insight on that, Kakashi.”

The voice registers before the words do, and Kakashi slowly lifts his head, too proud to react with anything other than a steady gaze. “Jiraiya. What are you doing here?”

Jiraiya offers a smile that turns out to be more of a grimace as he steps into the room, easily situating himself on the other side of the hospital bed. “I suppose a warm welcome is too much to ask for after staying away for so long.”

Kakashi stares, blankly. 

Neither of them needs to say that a long time is an understatement.

But he hadn’t thought Jiraiya would acknowledge that without a joking note to his voice, downplaying the sentiment before he can even admit it. This situation must be changing more than Kakashi thought. The last time Orochimaru caused trouble for the village though, Jiraiya hadn’t even bothered to stop by. 

Most of the time, it is simple to forget that Jiraiya was Minato’s sensei. Moreso to brush off the silence between them after the awkward tension of Minato and Kushina’s funeral. That silence is nothing in a world of Rin and Obito, and Obito and Rin, never quite moving forward. 

Jiraiya technically owed him nothing after Minato’s death. Even though only years had passed since the war and everything it brought with it. Even though Kakashi struggled to find his place in a world with his former teammates to guide him. Even though he knows now that he would do next to anything for a student Naruto or Sakura or Sasuke left behind, if that is what it came down to. The Sannin have every right to do as they wish without so much as a word to anyone.

None of that takes away from him feeling like someone just punched him in the gut.

“Welcome back,” he says, derisively.

Jiraiya stops peering suspiciously down at Rin to look up, surprise flittering across his face. “Thanks. What can you tell me about Konoha’s mysterious Uzumaki, anyways?”

“Ah, mysterious really isn’t the word I would use to describe Rin-chan.” False cheer seeps into his voice, and brings the pressure in his chest back to his attention. “Clumsily evase would be much more accurate.”

“Look, I get it. Hiruzen trusts him, you trust him. With a name like that, I can’t say I’m all that surprised.”

“I can’t say it seems that way.”

“It is! Some guy comes strolling into the village, carrying the names of two people you cared about, and you don’t think he was trying to get your attention? Especially looking like he’s a born and raised Uzumaki. I just didn’t think you were naive enough to accept him at his word like that.”

The last bits of emotion fade away, leaving nothing but the instinct to flee. Had Jiraiya kept his mouth shut, Kakashi likely would have been gone by now, his feet taking him on the slowest, most complicated path to the Memorial Stone.

Except now Jiraiya is standing there, without even the slightest idea as to what he’s saying. 

“Rin-chan is,” Kakashi says, with just enough conviction to convince himself as well. 

Jiraiya hesitates, clearly caught off guard. “What is Uzumaki exactly?”

Ah, it seems like the time for faltering has come and gone.

“Rin-chan is that naive,” Kakashi continues, finally allowing himself to look at Rin once more, Jiraiya nearly forgotten. “I thought it was odd at first, actually. On paper, someone like him shouldn’t trust others easily.” _Someone like him shouldn’t trust me,_ is what waits on his tongue, but he pushes it back down. “But he does. He is every bit a Konoha shinobi as I am, and you will find an entire generation of jounin agreeing with that sentiment.”

Jiraiya watches him carefully, but Kakashi doesn’t dare back down.

Once, Minato had complained to them about Jiraiya. They hadn’t been much more than twelve or thirteen at the time, a deep need to follow the rules already well-instilled in him. The problem with Jiraiya isn’t that he’s disloyal to the village, Minato said as he hid a fond, exasperated smile, it’s that he wants to believe the best in people, and the world has shown him over and over again that such a thing is impossible. 

Kakashi had scoffed and said something along the lines of it being more practical to assume the worst, at the time. Standing here now almost feels like a reversal of that conversation. 

“You really don’t think he wants to pull the wool over your eyes, do you?” Jiraiya scoffs and turns back to Rin. “We still don’t know how Orochimaru got into the village. For all you know, this ‘Rin-chan’ of yours could have let him through the gates. The timing couldn’t fit better.”

“And sometimes coincidence is simply coincidence. Rin-chan has nothing to prove to you, certainly not when Orochimaru is your former teammate.”

The fight drains out of Jiraiya as he stands there, his head slowly dropping. “You’re in no position to judge me.”

Kakashi stands there, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. 

His piece has already been said. The only reason he’s still here, instead of on the other side of the village is because he doesn’t want to leave Jiraiya here with Rin, not after that conversation. Naruto will actually start planning his murder if he finds out Kakashi left an unconscious Rin with someone like Jiraiya, Kakashi tells himself. This matter is purely practical.

After a long moment, Jiraiya tears himself away from the side of the bed. His gaze is heavy on Kakashi’s face, his expression unreadable, before he turns and leaves the room. Likely to report back to the Hokage about whatever theory he’s come up with. Meaning Kakashi won’t be able to hide his time in Rin’s hospital room for even a few minutes. The sound of the door closing still has him relaxing slightly. 

“Maa, I hope you weren’t planning on getting out of that conversation, Rin-chan,” Kakashi says, falsely casual. “Just don’t think I won’t be asking you questions myself, once you regain consciousness.” 

Rin doesn’t still answer, just as expected. 

There are still a long few hours before he has to report back to the bunker, however. And Kakashi is fairly certain he knows exactly how to spend those hours, just as he knows there’s only one place in the world that can alleviate this feeling. 

Hopefully Team Seven will be back once he gets to the bunker. There are only so many hours of the day that he’s willing to wait around for them.

* * *

Orochimaru carefully considers the cliffside, easily perched on a branch high above the ground. 

A genin team has been wandering through the area for the better part of an hour now, looking for the very same entrance Orochimaru noticed nearly immediately. Not that he knows the exact location of the bunker, but his attention just slides off of this one point. A genjutsu would be a rather obvious choice for Hiruzen, though.

“Hey! You guys, I think it’s over here!” one of the genin shouts. 

He’s an Inuzuka, by the looks of things. No one else would carry around a dog like that, nor carry those clan markings. 

His teammates seem to be a Hyūga and an Aburame, as well. Konoha’s most recent Team Ten, if his information is correct, and sure enough, a Hyūga girl and an Aburame boy join him after a few moments. Two out of three are clan heirs, according to Kabuto, but ultimately useless to him.

All Orochimaru needs to do if he wants to study any of their techniques is look outside of the village. There are always those born and raised outside of the clan, often born to non-shinobi in the neighbouring villages during long missions. It happened enough to his peers during his time in Konoha. But clan politics never quite stand up to the threat of outsiders, and willful ignorance has always been the most effective tactic.

They disappear from his perception after a moment, confirming his suspicions. 

Hiruzen is using a genjutsu to protect them.

More interesting is that they lacked any sort of guard to ensure they arrived at the safe house. Such a tactic can only mean that Konoha does not have the resources for these smaller duties, while still protecting the village to the best of their abilities. It would be fascinating to know just how many are dedicated to finding him.

A better idea would have been to use some sort of protective seal on the bunker, and focus their efforts to these smaller duties. Orochimaru has always been interested in seals, particularly how Kushina used them to suit her fancies, but perhaps Uzumaki Rin would have a similar adeptness with them. 

Of course, that requires time they would not have had. 

Either way, his approach stays the same. In just a matter of minutes, his summon will be in position and he will charge right for that blind spot. His side still aches from the wound Rin left on him the day before, but he has gone into battle with worse wounds and will do so again in the future.

Delaying any further will defeat the purpose of invading Konoha. The genin will be secured in a different location with better guards, and getting to Sasuke-kun will be nearly impossible without calling on Suna’s forces. And that trump card is best kept a secret for now. 

Orochimaru simply needs to get to Sasuke. Then he won’t need to have a conversation with Hiruzen to prove that the world isn’t cut into black and white, like he’s always tried to teach him.


	23. pain disguised

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.”_ -Lao Tzu

“So, where’s the rest of your team?”

Kabuto grimaces and drops his gaze. “There was… an accident. I didn’t want to leave them, but there was nothing I could have done. This whole shinobi thing might not be for me, actually.”

“I’m sorry,” Inuzuka Hana tells him, chock full of sympathy. 

She lets the subject drop when he doesn’t respond, just as Kabuto hoped. Losing one’s teammates during the Chūnin Exams is not terribly uncommon, only unfortunate. Being the one to kill them, on the other hand, he supposes that doesn’t happen as often. If only because his chances of moving forward in the exam have disappeared.

As a medic, Hana would not expect him to react in a specific way either. A collected answer would not set him too apart from others in this scenario, especially if he gives her enough reason to believe he’ll deal with his grief in less obvious ways. Otherwise, he would not have bothered to mention their deaths.

Orochimaru can be blamed for theirs deaths this way as well.

“Your injuries are minor. Just a couple scrapes and bruises that I’ve already patched up for you,” she continues, with expected gentleness. “Did someone mention the rules to you?” 

“Rules?”

She grimaces this time, before launching into the same lecture on safety procedures he heard half an hour ago. The two versions are similar, but that was expected. Being able to spot a time when security might be weaker is key though, and repetition will help him remember those times.

Confronting Sasuke during Naruto’s little confession earlier would have been simple. But then his cover would have been blown in an area filled with jounin. At least Kabuto confirmed that Orochimaru had been unsuccessful. 

Which is not quite surprising. With or without the cursed seal, Sasuke has a set potential. That same potential determines Orochimaru’s strength once he takes over Sasuke’s body. Perhaps if Sasuke were a few years older, things would be fine, but a twelve year old’s body is only so useful. And then Orochimaru’s usefulness to him is limited.

Sticking with that plan always would have ended badly for him. Kabuto won’t need to be taught in three or four years from now, not if he wants to survive in his current precarious position. Another teacher will be necessary as well, if Orochimaru cannot stand up to the Akatsuki or the daimyo. Kabuto soaks silently in his satisfaction at how little a Konoha shinobi would understand his reasoning, one of the few things getting him through this assignment. 

“Anything else?” Hana asks, casually.

“I don’t believe so.” Kabuto tries a smile this time, small and hurting. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, though.”

She barks out a laugh. “Survived, most likely. Now, if you don’t mind, you were my last patient for the moment, and I need to eat something before I’m swamped again.”

“Of course.” 

Kabuto trails behind her for a while, before turning down a random hallway. His room is technically in the other direction, but for the time being, he has no intention of using it. There are too many other things to do. Even simply gauging the abilities of the various countries present could take up most of his time, given that opportunities like this are few and far between. 

Information gathering is the only reason he’s survived for as long as he has. Without it, he would not have decided that Orochimaru was the best mentor for him, even if that’s no longer the case. 

Staying with Sasori would have guaranteed his eventual death.

It’s impossible to know for certain, of course. Regardless of him gathering as much information as possible, there are always variables beyond his understanding. And the seal suppressing his memories was only removed a few month ago.

His thoughts halt at the abrupt spike of chakra. A surge of disgust twists his face into a scowl, his surprise brief.

This should be impossible, but denying the malicious edge to the chakra would be stupid when it was directed at him only a couple weeks ago. Orochimaru is sacrificing Konoha’s disorganized fumblings for a direct assault. It’s a pathetic move. This bunker holds jounin from nearly every country, along with their genin. This is exactly where they would expect him to attack.

To think Kabuto admired this man up until recently.

But even the mention of Konoha undoes that. It isn’t the first time Kabuto has noticed it. Noticing the deep anger Orochimaru displays whenever his home village is brought up is his job as a spy. 

This hall is still empty. Most teams would have someone adept at sensing, meaning this area of the bunker is abandoned or they haven’t noticed yet. This might just be his opportunity, actually. His research never revealed this particular bunker, but records of other bunkers all had a back entrance, in case of an attack. None of the bunkers seemed to be connected, although outside might even be better right now. The Shodaime had been practical, as well as brutally optimistic. All he has to do is find it.

Staying would be the equivalent of declaring loyalty to Orochimaru, given that he has no intentions of defecting to Konoha. Fighting Orochimaru isn’t an option either, not if he wants to live.

If Kabuto manages to get out of here, Orochimaru might even assume he died with Yoroi and Misumi.

* * *

Rin’s knees sink to the ground as he stares into nothing. A piece of himself is gone, ripped away at the most inopportune moment and shredded into pieces while all he could do was watch.

Nothingness shifts into something. The ground softens into mud, coating his hands and knees. A haze off on the horizon indicates either an incoming storm or a lightning jutsu, neither a good sign. 

Rin tenses as blond hair falls into his face. 

For a moment, he’d been certain that his hair was red. But when he reaches up to touch it, running his fingers through the short strands, it’s definitely blond. There’s no reason for him to think it would be red, not when he’s always had blond hair. 

“Naruto, are you alright?” 

Someone touches his shoulder, reminding him to react. 

He looks up, only to be met by green eyes. There are tired lines in the corners of Sakura’s eyes, far more tired than they should be. She doesn’t attempt to smile at him. She doesn’t make a point of showing off her short hair. 

Wrong, Rin thinks. 

This is wrong. 

“You’re not real,” he says.

Sakura frowns at him. “What?”

“You’re not real.”

“Naruto-” 

“Don’t call me that.”

She falls silent, and the reality of his situation finally sinks in. The sky isn’t hazy because of an incoming storm or Kakashi using his Chidori. The sky is hazy because none of this is real. This is exactly what it felt like when he talked to his mother that one time, both of them stuck within his own mind. 

When Rin looks a bit more closely, it all comes together. Why the pain in his chest is so strong, why he’s here of all places.

This is where he lost Kurama.

It probably happened just moments ago. The reality of it all forms a lump in the back of his throat, his eyes starting to water almost by instinct. 

This is the point of no return. 

This is their second fight against Madara and Obito. The first had ended with a retreat, the opposing forces too strong and the chances of him losing Kurama too high. The Shinobi Alliance had failed, only to come together a second time, after they had regained some of their strength. Only this fight was worse than the first, from the bits and pieces Rin can remember. Most of it, he spent unconscious.

Rin can see them now, their vague silhouettes fighting around him. More than that, he can hear the clash of metal and fire burning and rock shifting. It won’t be enough, but who exactly died in this fight and who survived is too difficult to remember. All of it has been a muddled memory for years now.

Recalling it properly is beyond him. 

“Then what should I call you?” Sakura asks, kneeling down to his level. 

“Huh?”

She huffs, and he only now notices her hand alit with healing chakra. “I still need something to call you, if you don’t want to be called Naruto. Then again, I could always use Sasuke’s name for you.” 

Sakura doesn’t stumble over Sasuke’s name. 

That catches Rin more than anything else. Sasuke would have already been dead by now, nearly a mercy, but Sakura never quite managed to say his name afterwards. Not without struggling through each syllable.

“Rin,” he says, quietly.

“Like-”

“Yeah.” 

“Why?” 

That answer comes easily. “Obito did all of this because of her, right? So, maybe he needs a reminder that she wouldn’t have stood aside while he did all this. Plus, she means something to-” 

To Kakashi, is what Rin doesn’t say. Sakura would assume something else if he did, she would think of the man who had taught both of them. While that isn’t wrong, it doesn’t quite feel right either. 

Sakura nods and opens her mouth, only to fade away like sand caught on the wind. Rin can only watch, the mud turning to water beneath him, soaking his pants as his knees press against a hard floor. The sounds of war fade as well, the nauseating scent of blood and guts with it.

Now, there’s only the thick scent of something burning.

Rin knows where he is as instinctively as he knows the back of his own hand, even if it looks different now than it ever had before. 

The cage doors in front of him are wide open, its seal long since torn off. All of its insides have been scorched to black, a slight breeze the only thing necessary to make this place fall into ashes, swallowed up by the water that has always defined this part of his mind. Here there are no red, glowing eyes to stare him down, no familiar shape of another being. Kurama is long gone, now.

“What are you doing, kit?” 

Rin startles, pulling himself up to his feet.

He had expected silence. This place has only ever been for him and Kurama. Perhaps it could have become a place for Sasuke, but that had only happened the once. Then Sasuke died like the heroic asshole he never was.

But Kurama is here anyways, sprawled out on the floor behind him and flickering in and out of existence. Words catch in the back of Rin’s throat as he stands there, his clothes half soaked and covered in mud, and a deep wound bleeding through his shirt. Everything he knows speaks to the impossibility of this moment. 

Of course, Rin knew that Kurama left a hole inside him in more than just the figurative sense. That would be difficult to miss. But this isn’t Naruto’s Kurama in front of him, not with a stare like that.

“Trying?” Rin guesses, unsurprised when his voice comes out hoarse. “At least, I was trying.”

Kurama chuckles, the warm air blowing against Rin’s cheeks. “Looks like giving up to me. Are you really going to let a bastard like Orochimaru kick your ass?”

“That’s not why I passed out!” 

Rin scowls as he tries not to flail at Kurama. Orochimaru hadn’t been what did him in, had he? Embarrassing wouldn’t even begin to cover that. Even more embarrassing than half the things Kurama has seen him do over the years. 

But the amused way Kurama is watching him suggests otherwise. 

“I don’t know why I passed out, but it wasn’t because of that snake-bastard!” Rin reiterates, pointing at Kurama. “You’re just trying to screw with me!” 

Laughter rings out, echoing against the walls. Maybe another person would find it too rough or too similar to a growl, but to Rin, it sounds like everything wrong with the world disappearing.

He’s missed this. 

He’s missed Kurama.

“What even is this, anyways?” he asks, wavering.

Kurama’s laughter dies. “Complicated.”

“I’m not a kid.” Rin looks down to hide his frown. “I probably know more about sealing theory than anyone else alive now.”

Kurama pushes off his interest with a shake of his head. “Like hell you do. But we don’t have the time. Long story short, that Uchiha fucker couldn’t extract all the bits and pieces of me. I’m too intertwined with your chakra core, after all that time pushing my influence on you, but you must have brought it all together somehow.”

“That isn’t much of an explanation,” Rin grumbles. 

“Shut it.” 

“And I didn’t do anything. I was just minding my own business, worrying over the kids, then next thing I know, I’m here.” 

“Something happened. The last time I-” Kurama looks away, breaking eye contact. “I didn’t think anything would be left.” 

“Neither did I,” Rin says, quietly.

The past decade without so much as a word exchanged between them still aches. Kurama doesn’t even know any of it, his own being despite being trapped inside Rin. Even before they were torn apart, Kurama didn’t know everything that happened to him on a day to day basis.

All at once, the urge not to tell Kurama hits him. Some of it would be simple to hide, with his currently blond hair and the way his muscles don’t ache like they usually do. Kurama shouldn’t have to deal with the burden. And someone should continue to remember him as the person he used to be, even if that someone is just a few scraps of chakra pulled together by something Rin doesn’t understand. 

Things are better this way.

Kurama rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to get a word out of you like this.”

“Is it that obvious?” Rin smiles slightly, strengthened by how easily Kurama gave in. “Heh, I thought you’d complain about it though.”

“You want me to complain, I’ll complain. Just tell me how long it’s been first.”

“Ten years, more or less.”

Ten years is next to nothing to a bijuu, but Rin can still see the exact moment the number hits Kurama. He draws back, his tails sending small whirlwinds through Rin’s hair. Even Rin’s small smile doesn’t take away from the fact that Kurama has missed out on nearly a third of his life.

There should be more questions. Even Kurama isn’t oblivious enough to the way humans work to miss Rin looking a decade younger than he should. If nothing else, there should be more weight in his shoulders, a couple more scars. Kurama has lived in human bodies for long enough to pick up on those things, even if he doesn’t comprehend them. Instead, Kurama huffs, lowering his head to his paws, and closes his eyes.

When Kurama opens them again, Rin is a bit more recognizable. He doesn’t blink at the difference as his hair brushes against his shoulder or the other differences, the ones caused by age. 

“You look like your mother.”

Rin slowly allows a wobbly grin to spread across his face. “Heh, I do, don’t I? I never really thought about it like that.”

“You’re also shit at lying,” Kurama retorts. “I bet you could figure out the reason for all this if you just thought about it for a moment.” 

“If I do that, then I won’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t be here, anyways.”

Rin breathes in deeply in a desperate attempt to centre himself. 

Kurama is right. He really shouldn’t be here. This place should have been closed off to him to begin with, even if he didn’t have a say in it. This place belongs to Naruto, and that’s no longer a part of his identity he can claim.

And people are probably worried about him, people like Kakashi and Naruto.

Some might be thrilled if he never pulls himself out of this, with Orochimaru right at the top of that list, even if he has no idea where Rin is or the state he’s in. Nagato is another, followed closely by Obito. There are so many people he’s failed to save, whether because of chance or his own mistakes.

“I don’t know how to leave,” Rin admits.

“You’re still a shit liar.”

* * *

Sakura sighs, ignoring the chatter around her. Naruto’s meal consists almost entirely of rice, regardless of how many times she told him to add vegetables. She almost regrets giving up when Sasuke rolled his eyes now.

An odd feeling creeps up the back of her neck, and she pulls herself up, her back straightening. 

“Uh, you guys,” Naruto says, before she can point it out. “That thing from yesterday is here.”

Sasuke freezes across from her, food halfway to his mouth.

She swallows back the lump in her throat. Naruto can only be talking about one thing. None of them have mentioned it since they got here, at least partially because they didn’t want to be overhead. All of them have been thinking about it though. Thinking about anything other than Rin in the hospital has been difficult.

Trying to relax during this rest period has been worse. Sakura still feels the tension in her shoulders when she leans forward, and her wrist aches, even with bandages to support it. And that monster isn’t held to the same rules as Gaara is either. 

“Naruto-kun, what do you mean?” Sakura asks, cautious. 

His gaze snaps over to her from wherever he’d been looking off in the distance. “You don’t remember? Heh, that thing Rin and Kakashi-sensei went up against gave me nightmares last night.” 

“I remember. But how do you know it’s…?”

Sasuke snorts, derisively. “What she means to say is that you can’t sense chakra.” 

“That isn’t what I said,” she snaps.

“It’s fine, Sakura-chan! I just don’t think that’s what this is?” 

Sakura opens her mouth to question Naruto further, only to slowly close it again as one of the jounin stationed at the door stands up taller. Her fingers twitch with a signal Sakura doesn’t recognize, a clear sign that something is going on. 

The Kyuubi is probably what allows Naruto to know that, anyways. Her jaw tightens at the thought, but this isn’t the time to think about the demon sealed in Naruto’s stomach. A monster, a voice in the back of her head reminds her, this makes Naruto a monster and the rest of the village thinks so too. 

The shaking starts first, just a shifting beneath their feet. 

Everyone reacts, even those who hadn’t noticed the malicious chakra, either reaching for something to hold onto or something to defend themselves. The contrast marks the real difference between the genin. Sakura reaches for her kunai herself, tucked into the folds of her skirt, regardless of the so-called show of faith. 

“Weapons?” Sasuke asks, abruptly. 

She nods and braces herself in her seat at the shaking starts to grow, her knuckles starting to whiten. 

“Uh.” Her stomach drops and she slowly turns to look at Naruto. His hand is in his kunai pouch, but the blood is draining from his face with each passing second. “I only have a couple?”

“What?” Sakura hisses, in unison with Sasuke.

“I threw most of them at Gaara! How was I supposed to know his weird sand absorbs them?” 

“When?”

“The whole time?” 

“You could have stopped when you saw it didn’t work,” Sasuke cuts in. 

Sakura swallows back her growing anger with a silent assurance that now isn’t the time. Later will be the time, but for now she fishes out another kunai and thrusts it towards Naruto. “Take it. You can buy me a new set later. The top shelf ones they just got in too.” 

“S-sakura-chan?” 

“I mean it,” she says, as she shifts her attention. 

They need to survive a confrontation with that thing. If Kakashi-sensei and Rin can’t defeat it together, then cautious is the only route they can take. Which means stopping Sasuke and Naruto from charging in head first. 

For now, too many people are focused on the door itself. Any shinobi worth their weight would remember the rooms to either side of them with rock walls separating them. Whatever caused that explosion could break though. They would even has the element of surprise that way.

Silence presses in around them as the shaking stops. Silence and that chakra, thick and oppressive and bloodthirsty, stop the air from going to her lungs. 

Then the floor shifts, and Sakura nearly falls back. 

They’re getting closer. Sasuke scrambles to his feet as the sound of metal against metal reaches their ears. Comforting in that it reminds Sakura of the Academy, but that is where the similarities stop. Even fighting Gaara didn’t make her legs shake like this. But she survived that, so she can certainly survive this.

The shaking grows, and Sakura forces herself to stand as the walls start to vibrate around them. Something crashes to the ground, from the opposite direction of the fight, almost off in the distance. Then it happens again. And again. Almost like something is knocking down-” 

Sakura inhales sharply. “Get to the back wall!” 

“Sakura-chan?” 

But Naruto is already moving, just one step behind her. 

Sasuke is too, without the slightest hesitation. “Could you stop being an idiot for once in your life?” he snaps. 

Something’s missing from his tone. That note of frustration has always characterized Sakura’s conversation with him, even on a good day. But her legs are already moving too fast to dwell on it.

Their backs press against the wall as another crash reaches their ears. They keep getting louder, getting closer. Others start to sprint for the front and back walls as well, likely following their lead. But not everyone had the warning she had. They’re like rabbits, doing their best to avoid being eaten. 

Sasuke’s jaw clenches. “Sakura, that seal-” 

The side wall topples, their time run out. All Sakura can see is a stark white, the details slow to come. But they do, even if she wishes they hadn’t.

Its head tilts to the side as it looks around the room, a snake, but larger. It must be double Sakura’s height, its length trailing behind it in the ruins of the bunker. Its scales are only feet from her face, close enough that Sakura can see the pink of its tongue when it tastes the air. 

Then its head turns sharply to the right.

Her mouth dries at its long, thin pupils, focused in directly on Sasuke. 

“Why is it so big?” Naruto mutters.

Neither her or Sasuke dare reply. 

But the snake doesn’t move. 

Who knows how many are dead throughout the bunker, crushed by its weight and its cloudy red eyes their last glimpse of the world. A desperate laugh builds in Sakura’s chest. Maybe they only saw white before they died, like some twisted light at the end of the tunnel. 

The jounin from the door shouts for them to move, the words lost as her hands flicker through the familiar seals for a Katon jutsu. 

Not moving is their worst option. They need to leave, even if they don’t have a destination in mind, even if this snake attempts to hunt them down. Sakura isn’t stupid enough to think they’ll win against a creature like this. Their kunai won’t pierce through scales. And its size can only mean a summon. 

Flames warm their cheeks, even as the snake catches the brunt of the jutsu. Its eyes sparkle in the heat and it turns back, lunging towards the jounin. 

The three of them and a couple others have just enough time to slip past. They bee-line for the door, as the snake swallows back the jounin in a single bite. 

Sakura pushes down the nauseous shock that nearly overtakes her. 

The snake struggles with the grown kunoichi stuck in its throat, but Sakura purposely turns away. A calm comes over as they reach the hallway and she looks in both directions. It’s the rubble that draws her attention, preventing her from thinking up other strategies. 

“We need to go this way.” Naruto makes a doubtful noise, but Sakura doesn’t dare look back at them. “It’s after Sasuke,” she continues, breathing life into the fear they’ve all carried. “But if… if it’s really that big, it will need a few minutes to turn around.” 

Then they can use those few minutes to get outside of its range. If she can just come up with a way to use its strength against it, they might get through this. Surviving will beat the thick shame of running away any day.

“Fine,” Sasuke says, firmly.

Sakura feels rather than sees the wall behind them crash to the ground. Arguing is impossible. Doing anything but run down the hall is impossible, chakra pouring to their feet as the snake re-orientates itself. 

A summon is the only option. Any other snake would lack the intelligence to stop chasing them, to prevent its size from being used against it. But Naruto said that the creature from before is here. That only makes sense if the creature Kakashi and Rin fought wasn’t actually a creature at all, but a shinobi. It hadn’t looked human, but many shinobi have used jutsu that physically alter them.

The snake lunges towards them, ceiling tiles clattering to the floor. A whole length of wall crumbles as it turns, and they just manage to swerve down another hall before a crack rings through their ears. It reminds Sakura of cracking ice at first, only louder. Louder in a way that suggests more damage than a few broken walls. 

“Where are we going?” Naruto shouts from behind her. 

Sakura forces herself to keep looking ahead. To look back is to lose time, and she doesn’t need a confirmation of how fast the snake is gaining on them.

Her heart nearly stop at the sight of people ahead. They must be running towards the entrance, but her sense of direction has warped. It’s too late to turn back, not without being eaten alive. They need something, anything to slow the snake down. 

Naruto turns on his heel, as if he heard Sakura’s thoughts. “Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” 

The hallway fills with clones, what has to be over a hundred of them, and gives Sakura the opportunity to steel herself. Her and Naruto fighting together is what let them survive their fight against Gaara. 

Now, it just has to work again. 

A couple dozen genin stop to stare as the end of the hall gets closer and closer. Only they aren’t alone, a jounin in the lead, directing them towards the entrance.

“You guys, over here!” the jounin shouts, one they get close enough. It takes Sakura a moment to place Hana, her appearance here becoming as startlingly clear as it is jarring. “We need to get out before this place comes down on top of us!” 

Sasuke glances over at her.

Leaving isn’t an option. 

They might be just genin, even with the loud pops of Naruto’s clones disappearing from existence. They’re nowhere near as experienced as most are. But this is far more than just taking on a challenge Hana doesn’t think they’re ready for. This is personal. Even if it wasn’t, Sakura doesn’t know if they could make themselves leave.

“Sorry, Hana-chan!” Sakura says, quickly. “We can’t do that.” 

“Stop joking around. I can hold it off until all of you get out of here, but you need to leave now,” Hana snaps. 

Sasuke stands at Sakura’s side, and snorts. “Just who do you take us for?” 

“Kids. You’re _kids_.” 

“Then we’re the kids who will deal with this.” Her face feels like stone, even with a tight smile stretched across from her lips. “Besides, we’re not strangers to danger. Just make sure everyone gets out alright, okay?”

The popping slowly comes to a stop, followed by a low chant of swear words. 

Hana grits her teeth, before she sighs and looks towards the entrance. “If I find out you died, I’m going to bring you back and kill you again. If your sensei doesn’t get to me first, that is. Either of them.” 

The other genin, likely ones who already failed the exam, look at each other before following Hana down the hall. Sakura really won’t be surprised if they end up joining the fight as well. Kids or not, genin or not, they’re all still shinobi at heart. 

Another shout fills the excess space with more clones, ineffectively holding the snake back. One breaks free from the group with a wide grin, and Sakura can’t find it within herself to feel exasperated. This is their time to shine. 

“We can’t beat it head-on.” Sakura stares at the clones filling the hall from ceiling to floor, hardly able to speak above their shouts. “But if we can get it to destroy enough of the supports, the bunker will collapse on top of it.” 

Sasuke grows silent, then asks, “How are we getting out?” 

“With any hope, Naruto-kun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, yes, another chapter without Rin. It has only been about 12-16 hours since he lost consciousness, although it definitely feels like longer because of infrequently-posted chapters and how much stuff has happened. Don't worry, he'll be back next chapter though! With a bit of an explanation, as well. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed!


	24. obsesses utterly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I look for you everywhere; small gestures made by all kinds of people in the street remind me of you, by their similarity as much as by their differences, but I cannot say what is obsessing me; it obsesses me utterly and leaves no strength to express it.”_ -Franz Kafka, _Letters to Felice_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ THIS: Ey, just so you know, this entire fic has been edited as of October 13th, 2017. Which means if this is your first time reading this, welcome, welcome, hope you've enjoyed it thus far. 
> 
> If you have read this fic prior to the above date, I recommend you go through it again? I have changed a lot of things during the last nine months of editing, although most of the plot is the same. At the very least, you'll want to re-read the last chapter, as there's a new scene in there. You'll probably also notice that this chapter doesn't contain any new material from before, but that's because everything had to be spread out more in the re-write.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3 <3 <3

His arms and legs are starting to ache. 

Naruto almost doesn’t realize it at first. Normally, when he uses a jutsu, a never-ending fountain of energy wells up just beneath his skin, a grin spreading across his face as he uses it without thinking twice. Limiting that energy is where he runs into problems, like when he tried making clones back in the Academy or learnt how to climb trees.

Never-ending isn’t actually the case, apparently, not that Naruto can complain about it right now. Sakura and Sasuke need him to keep doing what he’s doing, even if it means being chased around by a giant snake. 

Worse than that, his clones keep getting eaten by the giant snake. Then Naruto gets this image in his head of what that feels like, and it beats out any ghost for most terrifying thing in existence. The inside of its mouth is a bit slimy, almost warm but not really, and that’s nothing compared to the white flash of its fangs coming down on his head.

If Naruto never has to look at another snake again, it will be too soon. 

The soles of his feet burn as he skids to a stop. At some point, the bottoms of his shoes have worn thin, almost into nothing at all. Naruto can almost hear Rin telling him he should have bought new shoes in the back of his mind, after he sheepishly admitted that he’d bought this pair nearly six months ago. 

Thinking about Rin and shoes is only slightly better than thinking about the snake a couple dozen feet behind him. His lungs quickly pull in as much oxygen as they can, now that Naruto has stopped. Light glints off of its fangs, but Naruto forces himself to stay put. Sakura said they need it to destroy as many walls as possible or all of this running around will be for nothing. 

But she doesn’t have to watch herself get eaten over and over again. Her and Sasuke are just weakening the supports in the walls, whatever that means. 

At least they have some sort of plan. 

That part can be completely left up to them.

Naruto turns and sprints down the hall to his left at the last second, the rush of adrenaline pushing down everything but the need to move. A couple clones disappear, just as the tremble in the floor catches up at him. 

It must have been the debris. An image of chunks of stone flying towards his head flickers by, and Naruto nearly stumbles over his own feet. He rights himself, getting a slight glimpse of the snake pulling itself out of the wall, before he picks up the speed again. 

His hands move through the motions to summon more clones, the ache in his bones intensifying. Only a dozen or so appear behind him, nothing compared to before. But the Kyuubi stays suspiciously silent in the back of his mind, seemingly oblivious to Naruto’s troubles. Any other time, he would be grateful. 

Grateful is just about the last thing Naruto would consider himself right now. Not with the soft sound of something crumbling away that he can hardly hear over his own breathing. Tiny cracks appear in the walls around him, spreading past him for the first time. 

Sakura pales from the other end of the hallway and turns to stare at the walls, looking like they might just explode in front of her eyes. A quick snap follows the crumbling noise. 

Thick lines run from one end of the ceiling to the other, when Naruto finally looks back. The snake finally pulls itself from the wall, just as it thickens. He sees the dirt falling from the ceiling before he hears the deafening crack, followed closely by large pieces of rubble pouring down on top of the snake. 

A whoop of laughter bursts from his chest. “Ha! Take that, you-”

Naruto cuts himself off as the snake pulls itself from the large hunks of stone. It shakes its head, its tongue sticking out insistently, but its eyes don’t focus back in on Naruto like they had been before. 

One last stone falls on the top of its head.

It isn’t larger than the size of his fist and it falls uselessly to the ground, but the snake wavers all the same. It stares up at the ceiling for a good, long moment, like it can’t comprehend the falling pieces of bunker.

Sakura’s plan certainly makes a lot more sense to Naruto now. Just how much dirt is between them and the surface, anyways? It must be a lot to hide them from anything capable of sensing chakra, but that must also be more than enough to bury some giant snake alive. Burying something alive won’t be quite as satisfying as driving a kunai through its heart, though. Then again, a front attack hadn’t worked in the first place, not even when Naruto aimed for its eyes.

Most things have vulnerable eyes.

The snake starts to move again, this time without even a fraction of its earlier speed. Naruto grimaces anyways, and starts sprinting once more. The handful of clones he summoned earlier can distract it for now. 

Sasuke turns to face him, his hands moving out of a seal, just as Naruto reaches the end of the hall. The slow rumble of the snake moving towards them isn’t nearly as loud as it was before though, which means they have at least a few seconds before they need to move on. 

This place can’t stay standing for much longer either. It won’t, if Naruto has anything to say about it.

“It - the ceiling came down on top of it,” Naruto says, his hands leaning on his knees as he struggles to catch his breath. “But it isn’t dead. Not yet.” 

Sakura opens her mouth to say something.

Then promptly closes it again. 

Naruto’s stomach sinks. That can’t mean anything good. “How much longer do you guys think-” 

Sasuke grimaces, his jaw clenched. “No clue.” 

“Only a small portion of the ceiling just came down.” Sakura tries for an apologetic smile, and falls short. “With the amount of damage Sasuke and I have done, all of it should have already collapsed. It’s probably reinforced with something. Seals, maybe.”

“Uh.” 

Sakura rolls her eyes at him, before refocusing her attention behind him. Naruto can almost feel the snake getting closer, even turned away from it like this, almost especially because of that. 

Naruto looks over his shoulder. All of his clones are standing between it and him, but that almost doesn’t matter with the way it drunkenly sways from side to side. Blood spills down a deep gash above its left eye and stains its scales as it slithers closer, its left eye closed entirely. It must have gotten more injured than Naruto noticed before he went running to catch up with Sakura and Sasuke. 

Then it stills, before lunging towards the clones. The first is swallowed in a single bite, another two or three gone from the force of its snout. 

A shiver runs down his back at the sudden perception of being much closer to it than he is, of being pushed down something’s throat. That will never stop being the weirdest thing he’s ever experienced.

But even with the snake moving at this miniscule speed, they can’t just stay here and wait for it to reach them. 

“Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!” Naruto shouts.

A measly two clones appear in front of him.

They exchange a long, awkward look as Naruto gapes at them, just as surprised as he is. Maybe if he tries to summon more, this will work properly. But no, the ache of exhaustion slams into him, the complete lack of chakra obvious and even worse than it was back in Wave, when he fell asleep in that meadow. If only there were enough time now to take a quick nap and restore his chakra.

After his deal with the Kyuubi yesterday, things like this really shouldn’t be happening. The clone on the left scowls, as if he can tell exactly what Naruto is thinking right now. Having access to more chakra is almost definitely part of the deal, just like how the Kyuubi is supposed to help him in these situations. Preferably before he gets eaten by a giant snake too. If the Kyuubi is sleeping through all of this, Naruto swears he’s going to find him and kick his humongous ass all the way into next week, made of chakra or not.

_Like anyone could sleep through your noise,_ comes an annoyed snap from that closed off space in the back of Naruto’s mind. _But my paws are tied here._

“What are you talking about?” Naruto shouts, as he watches another clone get thrown into the wall.

An awkward silence carries from behind him, broken only by Sasuke’s quiet snort. Naruto can’t help thinking that telling them about the Kyuubi before all of this happened was one of his better decisions, really. 

Awkward wouldn’t begin to describe him shouting into thin air otherwise.

_Your tiny, human body can only handle so much of my chakra at once._

The word ‘human’ is spat out like some obscure curse word. 

Naruto scowls. “Like that matters right now!” 

_It matters if you want to keep that tiny, human form. Our deal won’t mean a thing if one of the humans you call sensei decides to deal with you, and I want my payment in full._

A growl touches the Kyuubi’s words, making him sound every inch the bijuu he truly is. Naruto backs down, despite himself. The terrifying monster inside of him really can’t be all that terrifying if he cares about things like that, but this isn’t the time to argue. 

Considering that payment and the consequences that will come with it have to wait for another day. Rin and the others might worry about him, when it does happen though, but that will be satisfying enough in itself. 

“We need to run,” he says, as calmly as he can manage. 

“What-” 

Naruto turns on his heel and sprints towards the end of the hall once more. Within moments, two people appear in the corners of his eyes, Sakura and Sasuke steady presences beside him. 

Without so much as an order, his last two clones barrel towards the snake in a last ditch effort to slow it down. It’s too close now, his brief argument with the Kyuubi taking precious time. It’s close enough that its breath is warm on the back of his neck. Close enough that the floor shifts beneath his feet from its weight, the snaps of the growing cracks in the walls getting louder and louder. 

There isn’t the time to deal with the supports now, the scorch marks along the floor rapidly disappearing. Not that they need to do it now. 

Naruto nearly slides into Sasuke as they turn the corner, Sakura mere inches in front of them, but the snake isn’t so lucky. It collides with the edge of the wall, just barely brushing off the damage as their scent on its tongue drives it forward. His two clones are gone within a blink of an eye, their fates only flickering through Naruto’s mind.

Then it starts.

The cracks in walls and ceiling deepen, splintering past his line of sight like lightning. 

His legs burn with the need to move faster, to get out of danger. Naruto can see the end of this hall, already so close, only one direction left to go.

The sound of dirt dropping into a flowerpot breaks through his concentration, innocent enough that he can’t help but focus on it. Then it happens again and again, until small rocks fall from the ceiling around him and the pieces come together. 

The snake slows right before it lunges towards them. A bigger piece of stone follows, and Naruto only just manages to dodge it, the dust making his eyes water and-

Naruto slams into the wall face first, remembering it only in time to tense for the collision. His knees slide to the ground and he waits there for long, thin fangs to come down around his head.

They don’t.

His chest heaves with each gasping breath, and his face burns. Liquid pours from his nose, but he doesn’t notice until he tastes the iron on his tongue. 

Each passing second does nothing to alleviate the sudden silence, his inability to take in everything around him. Naruto eventually turns around, letting go a huge sigh of relief as he sits on the ground. 

The snake is dead. 

Its open mouth is close enough that Naruto can smell its putrid breath, but it’s still dead, crushed beneath the heavy weight of dirt. Even the stone ceiling is buried beneath the dirt. Bits of light shine through the rubble above, just tiny little flickers that are a jarring reminder that it can’t be later than early afternoon. Dead, Naruto reminds himself and lets his head fall back against the wall. 

“That was anti-climatic,” Sakura says, mostly to herself. “Whatever reinforcements the Shodaime made must have stopped the rest of the ceiling from caving in. I thought we-” 

“Yeah,” Sasuke agrees. 

Naruto dismisses them as a low laugh starts to build deep in his stomach before slipping out, loud and bright and just a bit hysterical. Not once had he doubted that they would make it. 

But he puts an arm over their shoulders and pulls Sakura and Sasuke inwards anyways, their head awkwardly clunking together. Sakura gives in first, her laughter light and breathy as she leans her head against his shoulder. Sasuke is right behind, his shoulders dropping as he finally relaxes. Things are supposed to be like this between them, after the fighting and the arguing. 

This is how their Team Seven is meant to be.

* * *

Kakashi picks up his pace with an edge of cynicism. 

For the first time in days, if not weeks, he allows himself to go to the Memorial Stone, assuming that a couple dozen jounin could protect the bunker for a couple hours. And instead, he feels Orochimaru’s chakra spike from that direction before he’s been there even half an hour. 

The trees grow larger, the closer Kakashi gets to the edge of the village, to the bunker. In a moment, the genjutsu should kick in to slightly redirect him. 

His landing falters as he jumps to the ground.

Damage was both expected and inevitable, but it doesn’t lessen the impact. The door to the stairs has been ripped entirely off of its hinges. Rather, the only thing left of the door is its pieces, little shards of wood scattered across the ground. 

The stairs creak beneath his weight as Kakashi forces himself forwards. They were noisy before, but now they could give at any point in time. There is no tell-tale fizzle of an explosive tag, almost to his surprise. Orochimaru must have known that backup would come, sooner instead of later. 

“Ah, it seems you have won this round, rival of mine.”

Kakashi stops. 

Of course Gai would think charging Orochimaru was a good idea. There is no sign of the other three jounin meant to be guarding this post, which could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Bad is what Kakashi is inclined to assume.

“Have I?” 

Gai gives him a wobbly grin and tries to push himself up. The effort is brief, given the wall is the only thing keeping him upright at all. “Of course. As if I could have defeated your youthful appearance as soon as things began to seem dire.” 

“A draw, then,” Kakashi suggests, as he gets to the bottom of the stairs. 

He immediately starts cataloging the damage, his training winning out despite how much he wants to ignore it. Chakra exhaustion is only the most obvious thing wrong. Cuts cover Gai from head to toe, blood soaking through his jumpsuit in one notable spot on his arm. His jaw is already smartening as well, a faint purple as it bulges out. 

A few days of bed rest and Konoha’s Green Beast will be back on his feet, Kakashi tells himself, even as Gai drops his head back against the wall. 

“How so, my friend? There is no shame in winning here, so long as you win for all of us,” Gai asks. 

His voice is quieter than before. 

Kakashi kneels down beside him. “The guard who defends the castle until the bitter end is no worse than the prince who comes in at the last second.” 

“As amusing as it is to hear you refer to yourself as a prince, I’m afraid that we will have to agree to disagree on this topic.” Gai winces, his gaze flickering towards the door leading into the bunker. “If for no other reason than the seriousness of our situation. Orochimaru has not been subdued, and it will be my win if you leave your genin team to their own devices in there.” 

Kakashi closes his eyes, and resists the urge to sigh in exasperation. Of all the times they could have defied his expectations. “I hope you know that Genma will murder you when he sees you like this.” 

“I am, in fact, looking forward to the youthfulness of his worry, yes.”

* * *

Orochimaru stills at the silence. His summon should still be dealing with any internal threats, splitting his effort of tracking down the Uchiha boy into two. Most jounin should have difficulties getting past it, but perhaps not has many as he originally thought. 

Backup won’t be here for a good, long while, so long as his estimations are correct. When it does, they will be preoccupied dealing with the dead and incapacitated near the front door. Most of them are dead, of course, but there had been one group of genin who thought themselves strong enough to take him on, now unconscious. 

Maybe one of them will prove to be his downfall. Maybe they’ll sneak into one of his compounds in five or six years from now, outraged by the loss of a loved one or the destruction of Konoha, but determined to kill him all the same. It might even work for a while. 

But now, the bunker is almost entirely empty. A few managed go for reinforcements, but his goal was never to launch a full attack. He would bring in a lot more firepower for an attack of that scale. 

This is nothing more than a raid.

Laughter echoes through the hall, making him pause momentarily. That is the sound of a child’s laughter, rather than an adult’s. The handprint burned into his side twitches at the dull dulse of chakra, but Orochimaru knows this chakra well enough to recognize it as the Kyuubi’s. Even if he had not been the one to check Naruto’s seal while he was an infant, he has spent more than enough time in this village to recognize it for what it is. 

“Sasuke-kun?”

The voice is faint and clearly feminine. She must be the kunoichi of this generation’s Team Seven, then. 

Even with the weight of low chakra and the throb of his wounds, three genin will be simple to take down. That their ability is high enough to take down one of his summons is surprising, however that fight must have drained them.

“Something’s wrong,” comes a low voice. 

A third person groans. “Already?” 

That whine is jarringly similar to Kushina’s. The number of times he’s heard it is countless, particularly after Orochimaru would go to her with a question on sealing. If it turns out that Uzumaki Naruto takes after his mother, instead of his father, Orochimaru might just have to keep an eye on him after all, even after he takes Sasuke away from this place. Strength can be found in unexpected places. 

Given Naruto’s status a jinchūriki and his heritage, it would not be unexpected, so much as easier to deal with than previously thought. One Namikaze Minato was too much for him to deal with. 

“Yes, already,” Sasuke snaps. “Did you forget that this was only a summon?” 

“Uh.”

All three of them fall silent. 

His own chakra radiates out from him, once described to him like a boa constrictor lazily winding up one’s body, growing tighter until they can no longer breathe. Perhaps them noticing is to his disadvantage. However, Orochimaru has always preferred to look at the benefits of something. And this means all of them have some level of chakra sensing, even at this young of an age. 

There isn’t enough chakra left in him to use more than one jutsu, however. But Orochimaru only needs the one. His taijutsu will work just fine after he administers the Heaven Seal, anyways. 

The whole process won’t take more than five minutes. 

Orochimaru turns the corner, satisfaction curling in the pit of his stomach. 

This is the Team Seven of this generation, on the ground and both literally and metaphorically in ruins. Two of them are destined to be powerhouses on the battlefield, monsters in everything but name. Perhaps the girl is intended to be a calming influence, to remind her teammates of their humanity. Maybe with this, Hiruzen will see everything wrong with this particular tradition.

Naruto pulls himself up to his feet. For all that his voice reminds Orochimaru of Kushina, his colouring comes entirely from his father. 

His legs shake as he stands there, before giving out on him entirely.

“Naruto-kun,” Haruno Sakura whispers, with a thorough touch of horror.

Naruto’s answering scowl is a sight to behold, one that Orochimaru feels no guilt in carefully considering. Once more, determination like that, that refusal to back down is Kushina through and through. Seeing the contrast between his parents is interesting, if nothing else.

“You have such weak teammates, Sasuke-kun.” Mocking fills him with each careful step forward, the rubble carefully avoided. “It makes me wonder how different you are.” 

Sasuke reacts immediately.

Not in an obvious way, as expected, but his features harden nonetheless, his eyes two pieces of steel. It is impossible to tell where that anger is direction, but Orochimaru can certainly imagine a constant stream of Itachi, Itachi, Itachi. Strength is often the only thing that matters to those obsessed with revenge.

Such urges are simple to manipulate, so long as Orochimaru pretends to understand. 

Orochimaru smirks. Everything is finally coming together, despite the setbacks he’s had. “This village does breed weakness, you realize. Staying here will only allow that weakness to continue festering.”

Sasuke’s hand slowly inches towards his kunai pouch.

Orochimaru lets out a slow, satisfied breath. This wouldn’t be so enjoyable if Sasuke refused to fight back. Despite his words, the seeds of strength are already there in Naruto and Sasuke, if they can move under the weight of his killing intent at this age. 

But the girl moves first, drawing his attention. A steady strength shines through her eyes as she charges towards him with a mere kunai in hand. Orochimaru steps around her. But the blade nearly catches the corner of his sleeve before he brings his elbow down in the middle of her back. 

A strangled liquid-filled gasp escapes her as she falls to the ground.

“Ah, aren’t you a-” 

“We aren’t weak!” 

“Dobe, shut up,” Sasuke snaps.

“But we aren’t! Neither is the village, and you know that, teme!” Naruto brings himself back up his feet, his legs wavering beneath him, but holding his weight. “Zabuza, Gaara - do you think we would have lasted against them if we weren’t strong?”

Sasuke falls silent, his gaze focused down on the ground. 

Perhaps Orochimaru has underestimated two thirds of Team Seven, in the end. In his own iteration of the tradition, Tsunade was always the one to point him in the right direction, as disastrous as that ended. 

With the right guidance, these children might even surpass the three of them one day.

To have that strength in his arsenal is alluring, but Orochimaru only has enough chakra for one seal. But he can see the potential in all three of them now. In the way Sakura’s already attempting to pull herself back up. In Sasuke’s inherent potential with the Sharingan. In Naruto’s steadfast stubbornness. Even with pure logistics, they might be strong enough to tear down any enemy put in front of them in a matter of years. 

It’s almost enough to delay taking control of Sasuke’s body, particularly with the impact it would have with Hiruzen. 

If only he had enough chakra.

Orochimaru lunges forward, his neck extending as chakra gathers in his mouth. 

And he connects. Naruto’s shock sends him backwards once more, giving Orochimaru the opportunity to latch onto Sasuke’s neck. Metal lodges into his thigh, but the seal transfers regardless. Sasuke rears back, his kunai abandoned. 

Then the world blurs with a low growl. 

Insidious chakra flares to life, the telltale sign of a Uzumaki under attack. Orochimaru gathers himself once more, limbs aching as his neck snaps back into place. 

But it is already too late. The back exit will be blocked by rubble and his summon alike, and the heavy weight of lightning fills the air around him as a hand comes down on his shoulder. 

“Maa, Naruto-kun, there’s no need for that,” comes Hatake’s low drawl. 

Just like that, the Kyuubi’s chakra fades into the background.

“Kakashi-sensei! We have to-” 

“I know.” 

Orochimaru keeps his head held high, despite his over-awareness of Hatake’s presence. His goal here had been to mark Sasuke, and that much he has managed to complete. The rest he can still work with, turn to his advantage before the tension of his appearance in Konoha fades.


	25. the fool in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.”_ -Theodore Isaac Rubin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Thanks for the support thus far <3

Rin wakes to a weight on his chest. It shifts after a moment to his gut and he keeps his eyes squeezed shut, in the vague hope that the two four-pronged weights will disappear and stop forcing the air out of his lungs. 

The faint heat radiating onto his cheeks tells him more than enough about that state of affairs though. What should be more surprising is that they didn’t come sooner. And even more surprising than that is the lack of beaks trying to poke his eyes out in a sadistic attempt to wake him up, now that they are here.

It honestly wouldn’t be the first time. 

“You were telling me about Rin-chan’s time in your humble abode, Asa-san?” 

His breath hitches at the hearty chortle that follows, horror slowly filling him. “Right, where was I? It was right around the time he first attempted going into Sage Mode-” 

“I really don’t think you have to tell that story,” Rin blurts out. 

“You sure? You could always pretend to go back to sleep,” Asa says. 

Rin finally opens his eyes to scowl at the bird perched on his chest. Asa simply preens at the attention, her fiery wings carefully rearranging themselves to look as attractive as possible. Which would be a lot more effective if Rin were also a phoenix or at all capable of telling her feathers apart from each other. 

Given that he is neither of those things, her preening quickly comes to a halt and she takes a flap of her wings to fly over to the open window. At the very least, no one seems to have come with her to poke fun at the dramatic way she holds herself. 

“Welcome back to the land of the living, Rin-chan.” 

Rin turns his head to look at Kakashi and his mouth goes dry. 

The little he can remember before losing consciousness makes him being in a hospital none too surprising, but the rest of it not so much. The bed next to him is occupied, not by one body, but three. 

One Uchiha Sasuke, his face flushed with fever and a bandage around his neck, takes up most of the room. But only because he managed to get the pillow, while Sakura and Naruto are relegated to the foot and side of the bed respectively. Other than Sasuke’s fever and bandages, none of them look particularly hurt, but that doesn’t seem to mean much of anything right now. 

“What happened?” he asks, quietly. 

Kakashi hums, his gaze calm and steady. “Ah, it just so happens that I was hoping you could tell me that.” 

“Me? I didn’t-” 

“Tell me why you lost consciousness and I’ll tell you what happened to them.” 

Rin breathes in deeply and slowly pushes himself up. His lungs ache with each breath he takes, the pain radiating throughout his body, but at least he’s conscious now. 

Part of Rin wishes he weren’t. Part of him wishes he were back in that corner of his own mind, where his Sakura and his Kurama and everyone else he cares about still exists. The memories were slow to come back, for whatever reason, but he remembers now. Sakura talking to him on the battlefield, Kurama standing in front of him, Rin remembers all of it. 

Explaining any of that to Kakashi will change everything. The bits and pieces of Kurama’s chakra embedded in him, now gone, couldn’t have appeared out of nowhere, and Kakashi will notice if Rin attempts to lie. 

That must be why they’ve come to this point now. 

“Hey!” 

Rin startles, his head swiveling back to stare at Asa. She isn’t focused on him though, whatever playful preening she’d been engaging in before now replaced by the powerful puff of her wings. 

“Asa-” 

“You’re going to just let this guy push you around like that?” Asa shifts her weight from foot to foot, moments from swooping back into the room. “After how much you’ve gone on and on about your chicks?” 

Rin scowls at her. “They’re his chicks too!”

“And?” 

“And when you approach Tsuyu’s chicks with food, doesn’t she make you tell her what you’re bringing them first? Neither of us wants our head on a platter.” 

Asa quiets, but her gaze remains focused in on Kakashi, like he may just get up and attack them at any moment. Something might have happened between them while Rin was unconscious, but he doubts it. If he weren’t at least close to regaining consciousness, Asa would have attempted to heal him. Her healing skills may not be at the level of the rest of her clan, but she still would have been concerned when it didn’t work. 

Then Asa wouldn’t be the only one of his summons waiting for him to wake up. Then Rin would have had half of the clan humming and hawing over him, with one Daiko cackling in the background. 

“Maa, maa, no one is putting anyone else’s head on a platter today,” Kakashi cuts in, the moment of seriousness apparently gone. “I just thought Rin-chan might finally be honest with me after a near-death experience.” 

“Hey! When haven’t I been honest with you?” 

“When have you been honest?” Kakashi counters. 

Rin deflates, his gaze briefly flickering towards Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke passed out on the bed. “Do we have to have this conversation right now?”

“Rin-chan.” 

“I know! And I want to tell you. I was planning on telling you when I first came to Konoha, but then the Sandaime didn’t want to hear and-!” 

A soft sigh from the other bed cuts Rin off, and both he and Kakashi watch as Sakura rolls over, pink strands of hair falling into her face now that she’s facing them. He closes his mouth, a silent understanding passing between him and Kakashi. 

They only have a couple minutes before Sakura, at the very least, wakes. It’s impossible to tell how close behind Naruto and Sasuke will be, but Kakashi’s threat doesn’t stand when they both know that the story will come spilling out regardless. And in all honesty, Rin doesn’t want Team Seven to know who he really is or why he came to Konoha. They deserve a life without that hanging over their heads. 

“I’ll tell you,” Rin quietly promises. “Just not right now.”

“Alright. But I’ll be waiting, Rin-chan,” Kakashi agrees. 

Rin nods, still watching the three genin piled on the bed. Sakura’s breathing is no longer as shallow as it were when he woke up, but they look so peaceful like this. No one would ever guess that, at least in one reality, they were once capable of tearing apart actual countries.

“Orochimaru attacked the bunker the morning after you lost consciousness.” Kakashi doesn’t falter as Rin jerkily turns back towards him. “Twenty-four people are dead, including four Iwa, three Suna and two Oto shinobi, mostly all genin. Or, at least, those are the initial reports. Team Seven arrived a few hours before the attack, and were able to contain the damage of one of Orochimaru’s summons themselves.”

“Orochimaru isn’t still out there, is he?” Rin asks, swallowing back his shock. 

Kakashi slowly shakes his head. “He had already drained all of his chakra by the time I got there. With the backup that arrived shortly after I did, apprehending him was simple.” 

“And Sasuke?” 

“Orochimaru managed to place a seal on him, but it’s contained for now.”

Rin slumps back down onto the bed with that final comment. It echoes through his head, over and over again, despite the silence coming from Kakashi. 

Orochimaru put the Heaven Seal on Sasuke. After everything, Rin failed at even that, all because he lost consciousness out of nowhere. His research on that particular seal is already as extensive as it could be, a morbid curiosity having driven him to read through Orochimaru’s notes, before something caused the building to burst into flames. Getting to this reality’s conception of them would be next to impossible in other ways.

That is one point for Orochimaru, loathe Rin to admit it. Hopefully, it won’t amount to much with him in Konoha’s custody. 

And there might still be something Rin can do about that seal, now that he thinks about it. Morbid curiosity might have driven him to find those notes at all, but that was almost an entire year before he made the journey to Uzushiogakure, and even that was eight or so years ago. His knowledge of seals can only have increased. This time, he has other people beside him as well. 

But. 

But there is no denying that this is one of the things he set out to do after accepting what Obito had done to him. 

“Kakashi-sensei?” 

“Yes, Sakura-chan?” Kakashi answers. 

“Is no one awake yet?” 

“Ah.” 

Rin sighs and sits back up, letting his legs dangle over the edge of the bed. Sakura watches him the entire time, tension slowly draining from her body. “Good morning, Sakura-chan. I just heard about your accomplishments yesterday.” 

Her face goes an interesting shade of red. “That was - all of us worked together!” 

Rin pauses. 

“I think we already knew that, Sakura-chan,” Kakashi says, with a thick undercurrent of amusement. 

Sakura groans and falls back onto the bed with her arms spread wide. Her hand manages to hit the side of Naruto’s head, and Rin holds back a laugh at the way he twitches at the contact. Their moment of peace and quiet is almost over then. But he can’t bring himself to feel too upset over that. 

His gaze catches Kakashi’s eye after a moment, and Rin refuses to let his smile falter. Whatever conversation the two of them are apparently going to have, his contentedness at being here is partially because Kakashi is here as well. And even if he doesn’t understand what exactly is going through his head, that isn’t going to change. Kakashi will always be a precious person to him. 

That is the moment Asa decides to swoop back into the room, the heat of her wings warming the back of his neck. She doesn’t stop at his shoulder though. Neither does she stop anywhere on his side of the room. 

Instead, she perches right on the end of Team Seven’s bed and leans forward to get a better look at them. 

“H-huh?” 

“Asa, you can’t just-” 

“Woah!” 

“If I had to come all this way to check on your sorry ass, you better believe that I’m going to introduce myself to your chicks!” Asa declares, her voice drowning out everyone else’s. 

Naruto scrambles up into a perching position, the expression on his face about as far from tired as it could possibly get. There are only a few inches between him and Asa, even as his jaw slowly drops as he continues to stare at her.

Neither of them look away. Not in the first few seconds of staring at one another, and certainly not in the minute or so that follows after that. Sakura holds back tiny giggles from the other side of the bed, even though she looks just as amazed as Naruto does. Objectively, Rin doesn’t blame either of them for their amazement. It’s only after someone gets to know Asa that she stops coming across like an ancient being of myth and legend, and more like the nuisance she actually is. 

“Asa, this is Naruto,” Rin speaks up, fondly. “Naruto, this is one of my summons, Asa.” 

Asa puffs up immediately and turns towards him. “You know I hate it when you call me your summon!” 

“Ha, I won!” 

A laugh forces its way out of Rin at Asa’s offended squawk and Naruto grins at him, looking impossibly proud at his accomplishment.

That is all it takes for Naruto to scramble over Sasuke’s legs. Rin hardly has a moment to think before he finds himself with an armful of genin, excitedly chattering away about giant snakes and boys with the ability to control sand.

* * *

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?” 

Sakura startles and glances away from the closed curtains separating them from the other half of the room. A frustrated groan fills in the silence for her, along with a half-hearted explanation from Rin. It’s been difficult to put that image together with the unconscious, lifeless man they saw the night before when they arrived. 

“I… think he’ll be fine,” she says, hesitantly. 

“What?” Naruto stares at her, his confusion only lasting a moment before he rolls his eyes. “No, not Rin. Sasuke!”

“Oh.” 

She swallows and forces herself to take in Sasuke. Her gaze keeps getting dragged in his direction whenever she doesn’t think about it, but she’s been trying to stop herself. 

Looking at Sasuke will do nothing for the flush on his cheeks or the sweat dripping down his forehead. His collapse had happened only minutes after Kakashi-sensei had arrived to help at the bunker, as she laid on the ground, incapable of pulling herself up. 

The bruise on her back still twitches whenever she moves, but talking about it seems a bit heartless when Sasuke is in such obviously worse condition. Nothing she can remember from the Academy explains what’s wrong with him either, but she isn’t about to tell Naruto that. Not so long as the look on his face when they entered the hospital room to see Rin unconscious is imprinted along the backs of her eyes. 

“Probably,” Sakura says, after a moment. “If you look closely, you can see his eyes moving. At the very least, that means he’s dreaming about something.” 

Naruto lets the words sink in, before frowning at Sasuke’s unconscious body. “I wonder what he’s dreaming about.” 

“If I know anything about Sasuke, it’s training.” 

“No way!” Naruto’s vehement tone catches Sakura off guard. “That teme is probably dreaming about something stupid. Like tomatoes or getting a bad mark on a test, even though we graduated _months_ ago.”

Sakura looks between Naruto and Sasuke, and holds back a laugh. Even just thinking about Sasuke worrying about things like that seems so out of character, that she doesn’t know what to do with it. But if there’s anything she’s learned recently, it’s that the amount she does know about Sasuke is next to nothing. 

“Or his brother,” Naruto adds, his voice dropping. 

Her mouth dries. 

Not once in her life has Sakura heard Sasuke talk about his brother. If it weren’t for some of the comments their teachers at the Academy have made, she wouldn’t even know his brother existed. But there’s something about the way Naruto spits out the word brother that makes her pause.

It takes her a moment to realize why. Sakura swallows at the awkward revelation that she’s never heard Naruto refer to anyone with such hatred in his voice, not even at Sasuke in the middle of a fight. He didn’t even use a tone like that with Orochimaru, before they knew the monster they’d seen was Orochimaru. For him to use it against someone like Sasuke’s brother tells her more than she almost wants to know. 

Except that Sakura desperately wants to know. First and foremost, Sasuke is her teammate, meaning she should know if they accidentally run into his brother and things aren’t quite like she expected.

Especially if Naruto is going to talk about him like that.

They just went up against a _Sannin_.

They just went up against a Sannin and were able to act against him, even if they’d already been exhausted. Orochimaru’s chakra may have almost paralyzed them and she’ll be in pain for a long time to come, but they still fought. Somehow, that seems even more astounding than anything else they’ve done since becoming genin, including their fight with Gaara. 

“Why his brother?” she asks, quietly. 

Naruto freezes, then awkwardly reaches back to rub the back of his neck. “Can you forget I said anything?” 

“Not even for a moment.” 

The other half of the room seems to quiet at the same time, before Kakashi-sensei says something in that low drawl of his and the nurse starts shouting at both of them. Sakura can almost see Rin rubbing the back of his neck in the same way Naruto is right now, despite the curtain between them. 

Naruto sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Fine, fine.” 

“Look, if it’s that big of a deal, then I won’t push it,” Sakura says, even as her voice goes firm. “But I’m not going to forget.” 

“I’ll tell you. It’s just something that should probably come from the teme and not me, you know? Like - I don’t know, like how you want to tell people that you and Ino-chan are rivals, because you like calling her your rival instead.” 

Her face darkens, a flush spreading all the way down her neck. “Even if that were true, I think we’re past that now, Naruto-kun.” 

“Right, well, uh, you know how Sasuke’s clan are all dead.” Naruto waits for Sakura to nod, even if neither of them really need to confirm that much. “His brother’s the one who killed them. And he’s also the same guy Sasuke wants to kill.” 

Sakura swallows. 

Words are stuck in the back of her throat, but she has no idea what they are. For that matter, she has no idea how she’s meant to react to something like that. 

She pulls her gaze away from Naruto and stares at Sasuke. Even trying to picture what it would be like to have a sibling is difficult, nevermind if that sibling were to then kill the rest of her family. The closest she can picture is Ino going on a rampage, and even that doesn’t quite feel right. Ino isn’t her sister, and her family just consists of her mother and father. 

No matter how Sakura tries to imagine it, her family is still alive and safe, thinking about them not being either of those things makes tears well up in her eyes. She ducks her head, incapable of looking at either Naruto or Sasuke right now. 

It’s bad enough that she still doesn’t know what happened to Ino. Nobody has told them anything about the genin in the Forest of Death, not even with the five days so close to being over. And Sakura has tried not to think about that. Before the exam started, she had every faith that Ino would meet her in the finale, but that was before. Gaara might be wandering through the Forest still. Orochimaru may be in custody, but even a Sannin wouldn’t attack a village by themselves. 

An arm wraps around her shoulders and Sakura automatically turns into Naruto, clutching at his shirt even as her hands shake. He pulls her closer into a proper hug, despite the armrest awkwardly separating them. Neither of them say a word for a long time, not even to acknowledge the shaky laugh Sakura gives at Asa’s voice rising above Rin’s on the other side of the room.

* * *

The dead weight in Jiraiya’s gut hasn’t gone away for a long time now. It gets better from time to time, particularly after a few too many drinks and a nameless woman curled into his side, as different from Orochimaru or Tsunade as she could physically be, but it never disappears. 

Right now, it grows heavier as the guard leads him further into T&I’s holding cells. This moment is a long time coming, though, and he’s been anticipating the answers Orochimaru will give him. 

The guard must know better than to say anything, because he is all but mute the entire way. Jiraiya has never been quite so grateful for silence, even if he would usually prefer to fill it with bad jokes or anything else of the sort. Seriousness isn’t something he’s particularly inclined towards. 

All concerns like that fade away as the guard stops in front of a cell and starts to unlock it. 

Bracing himself doesn’t prepare him for what he sees inside the cell. Nothing would prepare him for the sight of Orochimaru chained to the wall like a common animal, not even the slightest hint of chakra radiating out of the room. Thick, black hair falls in front of his face, preventing Jiraiya from seeing the pale skin and sharp eyes that would otherwise greet him. 

“You’re not worried about him attempting to escape?” Jiraiya asks, as soon as he’s able to find words again. 

The guards shakes his head. “Those cuffs are an invention of the Nidaime. The more he fights them, the more chakra they’ll drain.” 

“Ah, that would do it.” 

Orochimaru’s shoulder jerks at the words, but his head stubbornly stays down. Almost like he can tell that this moment of confrontation is something Jiraiya has been looking forward to. 

“You can leave us here. I promise nothing will happen,” he says, calmly. 

“I’m sorry, Jiraiya-sama, but the Hokage-”

“Is expecting this, regardless of whatever orders he gave you.” The guard doesn’t relax, and Jiraiya sighs. “Look. Honestly? It doesn’t matter if you’re here or not. He’s not going to get any more secure in that cell of his.” 

“That’s not why the Hokage ordered me to stay with you,” the guard insists. 

“And I’m a big boy. I can handle myself.” 

The guard hesitates for a second longer, only turning back once Jiraiya meaningfully nods towards the end of the hall. His footsteps echo against the floor, before disappearing entirely and leaving Jiraiya with Orochimaru. 

Jiraiya lets his eyes close briefly at the wave of uncertainty that almost overtakes him. But Orochimaru always does this to him, regardless of how long it’s been since the last time they spoke. And reality is still waiting for him when he does open his eyes again, all in the form of a broken man trapped in a box. 

The chain clank again as Orochimaru surges against them, but his shoulders shake as well, almost moreso when Jiraiya steps into the cell. And still Orochimaru won’t look up and meet his gaze. Jiraiya holds back the urge to sigh again and kneels down so that the two of them are at eye-level. 

Stubborn has always been a good word to describe all three of them, but Orochimaru always took it much farther than him or Tsunade did. No one outside of their triad would realize such a thing, of course. That would be like other people noticing that the three of them were human, fallible in the same ways everyone else is, and they spent a good decade making the opposite seem true. 

Bits of Orochimaru’s pale cheeks can be spotted through his hair at this angle, just tempting Jiraiya to reach over and push the dark strands from his eyes. His hands stay perfectly folded in his lap despite the urge, overly aware of what would happen if he tried it. 

Tied up and drained of chakra isn’t the same as defenseless, not unless Jiraiya intends on making a fool of himself. 

“What do you want with Uchiha Sasuke?” he finally asks. 

Orochimaru huffs, the roll of his eyes indetectable, but there nonetheless. 

This time, Jiraiya does sigh. “C’mon, you gotta work with me here.”

“Without so much as a hello? Certainly not.” His voice is just as smooth as Jiraiya remembers it. “Even if I am a captive at the moment, you shouldn’t forget your manners.” 

“My manners are the last thing you should be worrying about right now,” Jiraiya snaps. 

The sharp tone all but rolls off of Orochimaru as he tilts his head to the side, the yellow of his eyes finally visible through the thick curtain of hair. Defiance is what shines through though, and the weight in his gut grows at the realization that he won’t be getting another word out of Orochimaru.

It’s a good thing that Jiraiya can be stubborn as well then. 

“What do you want with Uchiha Sasuke?”


	26. how to ask

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Sometimes people hurt more than they can handle… And sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help. They’re so caught up in their own pain, they end up hurting everyone around them.”_ -Rebeccas Donovan, _Barely Breathing_

Baki slowly closes the door behind him and ignores the pang of irritation when his three students do not so much as glance up to make sure it’s him. But there is little point in mentioning it to them. Hardly anything he says changes their actions. To try now, and over such a small point, would be a waste of his time, if not the cause of his early death. 

At the very least, Temari watches him move into the room from the corner of her eye as she continues with the careful maintenance of her fan. The same cannot be said for either Kankurō or Gaara, however. Kankurō is far too enraptured with applying poison to the various components of his puppets to notice anyone else, while Gaara stares out the window, oblivious. This moment of rest will end quickly enough. They’re lucky that the sudden increase in security around the border of Konoha has left the four of them more or less unattended, otherwise they wouldn’t have this information at all. 

A grimace passes across his face as he considers the potential consequences that could have come from not having this information. Dumping Gaara in the middle of a large-scale fight without warning could only end disastrously. He might end up releasing the bijuu close to Konoha forces, but it’s just as likely that he would be in the middle of Suna or Oto’s forces instead.

An honour was how the Kazekage described this position to Baki when he offered it. Even back then, Baki had known how much of a lie it was.

He clears his throat, pushing those thoughts away.

Only Temari looks up at him, pausing her attempt to rub out a scuff on her face. 

Gaara doesn’t acknowledge him, but that much was expected. Sometimes though, Baki wonders if Kankurō simply has so much wax built up in his ears that it turns hearing into a foreign concept. No amount of intense staring in his direction ever solves that either. 

“Is something wrong, sensei?” Temari asks, after a long moment.

He inclines his head, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. Wrong is something they can decide for themselves. “There’s been a change in plans.”

“Great. That means I can finally kick some Konoha ass, right? Like, we don’t have to sit around and wait for some hypothetical date or time or whatever anymore,” Kankurō abruptly speaks up. 

The puppet could not be any more abandoned on the living room table than it currently is, as if Kankurō had just been waiting for this exact moment. Baki desperately wishes for the umpteenth time that anyone else had been qualified to fill the position of jounin sensei to the Kazekage’s children. Even the so-called honour of the position is not enough to put up with this.

All Baki really wanted to do with his life was become the top jounin in Suna, and maybe the right-hand to the Kazekage after he had proved his worth. None of that included teaching. None of that included dealing with a jinchūriki.

“Not yet,” he says, sharply. “Our plans have changed, but that does not mean any of you have the authorization to go out and attack anyone.” 

Kankurō slumps forward, his interest clearly waning once more. “But-”

“Suna will mobilize as soon as all of the genin have left the testing area for the Chūnin Exam tomorrow morning. It is only the date that has changed, not your role in the larger plan.” 

“Soon.”

All three of them freeze at the reminder of the fourth person in the room. Gaara does not look back at them, does not even acknowledge anything other than the view outside the small apartment they’ve been temporarily placed in. Still, the word rings down to his very bones. Baki grimaces and looks away, uncertain of what to do next. So long as that sentiment is directed towards Konoha and not him, there is little he cares to do about it.

* * *

“Who came up with this idea again?” Kakashi asks under his breath.

He doesn’t get a reply, but the empty hallway shouldn’t have been able to give him one in the first place. 

His lack of company does nothing to stop him from hearing something, however. But that something is the ultimatum he gave Rin, echoing back at him through his own mind, rather than being spoken by someone else. The last night spent in the hospital did nothing to erase the tension born of that demand, even if neither of them acknowledged it. Not that they had that opportunity to acknowledge anything with Sakura and Naruto helping them keep watch over Sasuke. 

Kakashi couldn’t take that ultimatum back now though, not even if Rin were right here beside him. Taking it back would require a lot more than a half-hearted apology for putting Team Seven in the middle of things. And then the whispers of doubt from his conversation with Jiraiya would still be there. It doesn’t matter how thoroughly he defended Rin in the moment. The itch for answers is there now, and Kakashi is unaccustomed to holding back his curiosity, especially not for the months he’s been ignoring his questions regarding Rin now. 

If it doesn’t work out, then regret is a familiar enough emotion. One emotion he can live with, at least more so than his curiosity.

Kakashi follows the signs to the classroom Kurenai mentioned to him earlier, then stops in the doorway. Maybe if he takes a step back and pretends he conveniently forgot about this entire thing, someone will believe him. It won’t be the first time he’s done something along those lines. 

A simple warning like the one he was given would never be enough to prepare him for the sight of a room filled with jounin, local and foreign alike. Asuma and Kurenai are standing near the front of the room, but that is not as much of a comfort as it could have been. Namely because he can also list off half a dozen other jounin from their bingo book entries as well, not to mention the half dozen jounin he doesn’t recognize at all. 

Six months ago, Kakashi would have been surprised at just how many jounin showed up to a gathering like this. 

But six months ago, Kakashi didn’t have experience of training adorable snot-nosed brats of his own under his belt. Keeping his information and abilities to himself would have always been a priority over measuring other people, because his own well-being was the only thing he had to worry about.

Asuma spots him after a moment, his eyebrows raising like he can just tell that Kakashi is about to take a step back. For a moment, Kakashi almost lets himself think Asuma is going to let him get away with it. It would be the first time, but Kurenai is saying something or another, and that could prove to be enough of a distraction. 

Then Asuma turns towards him, leaving just enough room between him and Kurenai for another person, and Kakashi’s heart sinks. Leaving now would mean Gai finding out, and Gai finding out would mean Genma finding out, which could only end poorly for Kakashi. Poorly meaning an entire night at the pub being stared at without so much as a mention of how important information gathering really is. 

To prevent that alone, Kakashi would do just about anything. 

And whether he likes it or not, Orochimaru could not have been working alone. Even if he is in charge of Oto, as Rin hinted at this morning, a newly formed village would not be enough to challenge them. Not that Kakashi is convinced that Suna is their ally, given the treaties in place to secure peace between them and Konoha. 

Kumo would be the more likely culprit, Kakashi thinks as he looks away from Asuma to meet the dead stare of a Kumo shinobi. She refuses to turn away, silently promising someone’s murder. Kakashi starts walking ahead. It may be taken as him backing down, but he knows perfectly well who she is. He also knows from this morning’s report on the excavation of the bunker that her genin were crushed beneath some of the initial debris. Revenge is what she’ll be after. 

“Oh, you’re alone.” 

Kakashi meets Kurenai’s gaze and tilts his head. “Alone? And here I thought I was surrounded by your radiant presence.” 

“That’s not what I meant,” she says, rolling her eyes. “I just figured that Rin-kun would be with you.” 

“I see. I’m not enough for you then.” 

“I’d hope not.” 

“Asuma!” Kurenai snaps as her cheeks start to flush. 

Asuma awkwardly laughs. “What?” 

“You can’t just - that’s not-” 

“It’s alright, Kurenai,” Kakashi cuts in. “I don’t think Asuma or I ever believed that Rin-chan and I would be the right fit for you either. Though, if you were ever inclined to find out, I’m sure I could-” 

He tries not to falter as his foot is crushed, but only manages it for a moment as Asuma twists his heel. Paired with the glare Kurenai is currently giving him, Kakashi will have to remember to stay on his guard for the next while. A wrong step might end with his food poisoned or him wandering through a genjutsu for a few hours without noticing. 

It wouldn’t be the first time. 

Asuma starts to lean onto his foot and Kakashi folds forwards, taking in a deep breath when the pressure is finally relieved. 

“That would be a rather boring experience for me, don’t you think, Kakashi?” Kurenai asks dryly, not an ounce of pity in her voice. 

“Do all Konoha shinobi joke in the middle of a crisis?” 

Kakashi glances towards the unfamiliar Ame nin and straightens up. “Ah, it sounded like I was joking then?” 

Asuma glowers at him, only moments away from attempting to crush his foot once more. But the Ame shinobi just continues to stare at them, nearly uncomprehending Kakashi’s sarcastic tone. 

Any other time, and Kakashi would let the subject drop. “You knew I wasn’t joking, Asuma. All of us want Rin to be here, instead of in the hospital.” 

“Don’t pretend that you were-” 

Asuma cuts himself off as he stares at Kakashi, his eyebrows furrowed. News of Rin’s abrupt recovery must have travelled throughout the entirety of Konoha’s jounin by now, if Kurenai hadn’t bothered to mention it to him before Kakashi arrived. And even then, he would be quite disappointed in his observation skills if Asuma hadn’t picked up on it.

Kurenai sighs, her bored tone covering up the sharp look in her eyes. “If that’s what you were talking about, then you should have made it clear from the beginning.” 

“But where’s the enjoyment in that?” Kakashi asks, lightly. 

The look she gives him tells him exactly what enjoyment he should have taken from that. More accurately, the enjoyment of not being an asshole. At any other point, she would have told him just that, but she keeps silent now, once more aware of everyone else around them. 

A room full of jounin is the last place any of them should drop their guards, and especially not when they are not on friendly terms with each and every one of those jounin. Better not to reveal anything else about themselves. Kurenai can be trusted to spot suspicious behaviour, however, perhaps to an even higher degree than himself or any other Konoha shinobi could have, save Ibiki. 

The Ame shinobi continues to watch them, neither stepping forward to join their conversation properly nor stepping back to give them the illusion of privacy. Nothing about his blank stare reveals who he is or what he wants either, the rest of his face hidden by the traditional Ame attire. It puts Kakashi on edge.

Only people who don’t understand social conventions or just don’t care do things like that. A hypocritical observation, coming from himself, but he falls on the uncaring side of that dichotomy more often than not. 

Those who don’t understand tend to be far more unpredictable than most.

“Welcome, my youthful friends!” 

The shout echoes through the room at a much louder volume than necessary. Kakashi automatically winces, but it doesn’t stop Gai from beaming at everyone from in front of the chalkboard. 

If someone hadn’t seen him just twenty-four hours ago, they wouldn’t be able to guess how injured Gai had been by Orochimaru. Partially because they wouldn’t manage to get past his enthusiasm. That, at least, stayed perfectly intact. And most everything else as well, though it hadn’t seemed that way back in the bunker. 

Then again, the same thing had happened with Rin, and Kakashi has yet to find out what exactly the problem was. 

Even Naruto’s quick demands for information after he finished arguing with Asa just came back with awkward laughter and half-answers. Kakashi just about demanded Rin explain things right after the nurse accepted the evasion with a sigh and an air of exasperation. And that had almost sounded believable. But then Rin had hesitated as soon as she turned away, just like he always does when he lies. 

“It would be much appreciated if everyone sat for the time being,” Gai continues, entirely oblivious to Kakashi’s train of thought. “Being on equal footing will help this meeting continue forwards, as tense as the subject matter may be.” 

There’s a beat of silence.

A glance over his shoulder confirms that the seats ascend upwards the further back they go. 

Not pointing that out is difficult, but Kakashi manages to keep his mouth shut through pure willpower as he goes to sit down. Gai has stopped beaming at them by the time everyone has sat down, including the group of foreign shinobi who had gathered at the back. Glancing back without being noticed is almost impossible, but that’s likely the point. 

Trust is always an important factor in situations like these. Both in bringing together shinobi from different villages and in recovering village-wide crises. Kakashi has lived through enough of both to draw on the similarities, but he’s also known Gai for long enough to know that he probably didn’t intend that side effect. 

“As I am certain that any of you know, this is the first statement that Konoha will make on the events of the last few days. All of you have been touched in one way or another by the loss that has occurred, and I commend your strength in continuing to stand here now,” Gai says, his voice dropping. 

Hurt flashes across his face, visible to all. 

Kakashi knows better than to think it’s a show, as anyone who doesn’t know Gai must believe. But that same hurt was there when Kakashi stopped by his hospital room last night, just as thick and uncontained as it appears now. 

For anyone else, that much visible grief would be worthy of a loved one’s death. For Gai, blinking back tears could be a response to nearly anything. His voice shook last night when he explained how Lee had gotten trapped beneath a wayward piece of ceiling while attempting to help a couple other genin, narrowly avoiding a broken leg. 

Gai swallows back his emotions and steadies himself. “One of Konoha’s missing nin and Sannin, Orochimaru, attacked the genin partaking in the Chūnin Exam on two separate occasions. We failed to apprehend him after the first attack, but he was weakened considerably, allowing a group of our finest jounin to capture him later.” 

“Because that wasn’t obvious already,” someone mutters from the back of the room. 

“What?” The Kumo shinobi who had been staring at Kakashi earlier abruptly stands, her chair screeching against the floor. “You’re letting that bastard live?” 

That rules out Kumo then.

Kakashi sighs, ignoring the exasperated look Kurenai gives him from his right. But Asuma’s fingers are twitching for a cigarette on her other side, revealing far more of his own tense disposition. 

“I applaud your motivation in this unfortunate situation,” Gai says, not so much as flinching at her anger. “However, the decision of whether or not Orochimaru will be executed has yet to be made.”

“The damage he’s done should be more than enough to make that decision!”

Gai nods, perpetually understanding. “That does not so much rely on the damage he’s done as it does the potential damage that could be done if the village executes him without knowing all the information.” 

Just like that, the atmosphere in the room shifts.

Kakashi looks over his shoulder just in time to see the realization dawn across her face. And she can’t be the only one to have that realization. Almost all of the foreign shinobi must be recalculating their situation right about now. The Konoha shinobi as well, but they’ll appear unbothered by the concept of a threat waiting for them on the horizon, because they won’t be under suspicion. 

This is why Gai has the job of speaking to everyone. Out of all of the Konoha shinobi, he was the most likely to think the best of the other villages, until they had been proven to be the threat.

Gai waits for things to settle, before continuing, “Until this is resolved, the Chūnin Exam has been put on hold, however I must also request that everyone stay in the village.” 

“Don’t worry,” the Kumo jounin says, slowly sitting back down. “I have no intentions of leaving until I see that man dead.” 

“I commend your conviction, friend! Perhaps you should keep the sentiment to yourself when the Hokage’s representatives come to formally tell you this information, however.” He hesitates, then steels himself, looking forwards. “But first there is something else I must ask of you. Of everyone in this room.” 

Kakashi lazily puts up his hand. 

Gai frowns. “Kakashi?” 

“Is this where you ask us to join together in the name of friendship?” 

His question draws a couple of stifled chuckles from the rest of the room, but Gai brightens. “Your youthful way of thinking is always a treat, rival of mine! That is, in fact, exactly what I intend to ask. Perhaps not in the name of friendship, but certainly in the name of protecting our genin.” 

Any laughter in the room slowly fades and Kakashi lowers his hand, his point already made. 

That Kumo kunoichi isn’t the only one in the room to have lost students these past couple days. Everyone must be reeling from the loss of even one genin outside of the accepted parameters of the exam. The loss of about twenty-five genin is something that will way on all of them for a while to come. 

Turning to see their expressions now would be all but useless, so Kakashi keeps his gaze focused on Gai. The other jounin, foreign and otherwise, need to come to a decision themselves. They need to decide whether they’re willing to put their students before any agendas they may have, before the diplomacy and secrecy that dictates their lives. 

If Gai hadn’t wanted them to put everything they possibly could into this, he would have told the Hokage before taking over this temporarily abandoned classroom and giving them information that had not been officially released. But Gai has always been the type of person to put his students before everything else. That sort of fierce loyalty draws people in, as soon as they get past the shock of the green jumpsuit and the enthusiasm. 

“Before you make a decision,” Gai says, breaking the tense silence that had settled across the room, “I should explain how this will work.” 

“I think that would be appreciated, yeah,” someone snipes from the back corner.

“The immediate situation has been resolved for the time being, with Orochimaru’s capture. But none of us can know if our most precious students will be in danger if Orochimaru’s allies attack again. What I am suggesting is a youthful union of the jounin gathered here with the purpose of providing constant security for all of our genin.” 

“Is this some half-hatched plan of your Hokage’s or something?” the Kumo kunoichi asks, holding back none of her suspicion. 

“Ah, no. He is actually unaware of our presence here,” Gai announces. “I thought it would be better to keep this to ourselves for the time being.” 

“Then I want in.” 

And just like that, the tide of the room changes once more. 

Kakashi can only lean back and watch as the details are hashed out, more and more people jumping on board with each agreement made. As if any of them could have declined conditions like these, not unless they had more important orders to follow. 

Almost an hour in, a Suna jounin slips past where the main bulk of the group has gathered in the middle of the room and out the door. Kakashi’s stomach sinks at the movement in the corner of his eye, at the sign he hoped he wouldn’t see. It seems Rin was right about that fact as well, then.

* * *

“When do you think he’ll wake up?” 

“No idea. Maybe he won’t?” 

“Naruto!” 

“What? I’m just saying that maybe life without the teme won’t be so bad!”

“Uh-huh, and you whining about him not being awake earlier was just my imagination. Stop being such a jerk.” 

“But Sakura-chan-”

“The two of you used to be friends, right? I remember how close you were back at the Academy. Always going over to each other’s houses and talking during lunch. No one could figure out what happened, but now I know that the two of you were just assholes.” 

“That… wasn’t it.” The touch of sincerity in Naruto’s voice almost makes Sasuke open his eyes, but he forces himself to wait it out. Knowing Naruto’s take on this will be well worth it. “I mean, yeah. Sasuke’s always been a bit of a dick, but I’m used to it, you know?” 

“Then what was it?” Sakura asks, softly. 

“He told me I wouldn’t pass the graduation exam.” 

His mouth goes dry. 

Of course, Sasuke had already known where their falling out had started. But he had thought that Naruto forgot, because that’s what it seemed like after a while, the beginning lost in the animosity they shared. 

That guilt sits oddly in his stomach as he lays there, almost like it feels the need to compete with the fire burning right beneath his skin. Orochimaru is his first instinct. Whatever had been done to him brought all those emotions right up to the surface again. Itachi had filled his mind as soon as Orochimaru detached from him, but that wasn’t really something new as it was something back to life. A reminder of why he had told Naruto that in the first place. 

Naruto laughs awkwardly, and Sasuke can almost see him rub the back of his neck, even with his eyes still closed. “Seems stupid now, doesn’t it? I only passed because of what went down with Mizuki-sensei anyways, so it wasn’t like he was wrong.” 

“It wasn’t stupid,” Sasuke says, his voice hoarse. 

“Sasuke!” 

He slowly forces his eyes open and looks over at the two of them. There is no mistaking the bright lights and the heavy scent of antiseptic as anything other than the hospital, but something has certainly changed about them. 

It’s difficult to place just what though, other than a vague sense of them judging him. But Sasuke is already well aware that they aren’t, not if his memories of just how far they went to try and protect him from Orochimaru are right. Those memories couldn’t get any more vivid, at least, and Sakura is still hunched forward a bit, silent evidence of the injury she got.

“It wasn’t stupid,” Sasuke repeats, shaking off the feeling as he sits up. “I didn’t even mean it, anyways.” 

Naruto straightens, his mouth falling open. “What?” 

“Do you need me to repeat everything, dobe?” 

“I do when you’re mumbling like that!” 

“Fine! I thought you would pass the graduation exam, is that good enough for you? Or maybe I should add that I was scared of losing you too?” Sasuke snaps.

Naruto leans forward from his seat on the other bed and scowls. “Why the hell would you be scared of losing me? I have no intentions of letting you shake me off now!” 

“Because that’s what happens with everyone!” 

“Well, I’m not everyone!” Naruto stands before Sasuke can scramble to come up with an answer and grabs the collar of his hospital gown, tugging him forwards. “I. Am. Not. Everyone. Else. And for that matter, neither is Sakura!” 

Sasuke breathes in deeply, incapable of seeing anything beyond Naruto’s eyes. “You say that now, but what happens the next time we come across someone like Orochimaru? What happens when Itachi starts targeting you?” 

“As if I’m going to let some lowlife like Itachi take me away from you!” 

“But-” 

“No, not happening!” 

There is no lie in Naruto’s stare, no way to deny that Naruto will do everything in his power to stay at Sasuke’s side. Doubts still fill his head, just like they always do, but there’s something about being forced to look directly at Naruto that makes them just a bit easier to ignore. It makes the inevitable seem a bit more distant, if nothing else. 

“And you, Sakura?” he asks, as he swallows back those doubts. 

A few weeks ago, Sakura almost certainly would have gone red at being called out and fumbled through a hasty agreement. 

But the Sakura from a few weeks ago hadn’t gone up against Gaara or Orochimaru. She didn’t have the experience of fighting a real opponent in hand to hand combat, and while none of them had really had that much experience before the Chūnin Exam, it could still change her response now. She has just as much of a right to being a part of this time as him and Naruto do.

“Do you really think I can leave you two dumbasses alone now?” she asks, lightly. “I only just figured out how useless you would be without me.” 

His shoulders slump and Naruto’s grip on his hospital gown slackens before he lets go entirely. Sasuke lets his eyes fall closed, exhausted even at just this short conversation. 

Whatever Orochimaru did to him is making all of his body ache. 

“Ah, right! We got to go,” Naruto declares, suddenly panicked. 

His eyes shoot open again. “What?” 

“Remember that whole promise I made with the Kyuubi?” Naruto asks. “Well, it wants me to pay up now.” 

Sakura splutters. “Now?” 

“Now!”


	27. forever and a blink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“It’s funny how when you were a kid, a day could last forever. Then you grow up, and all these years just seemed like a blink.”_ -Stephen King, _Hearts in Atlantis_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the wonderful comments and kudos! <3

“I… think this should work?” Naruto says, hesitantly. 

Sasuke snorts. “They’re going to figure it out in about two seconds.” 

“Probably. But at least then we’ll have those two seconds?” 

“Not if you two waste them arguing,” Sakura hisses from the window. 

Naruto takes one last look at the bed. The pillows stuffed beneath the blanket are admittedly as obvious as they possibly could be, but nothing else he’s tried has looked any better. And this might fool the nurse for a few moments. “Ah, wait a moment!” 

“What are you doing now?” Sasuke demands. 

“Writing a note for Rin and Kakashi-sensei.” 

The following beat of silence is all the vindication Naruto needs as he scrambles through his kunai pouch for a spare piece of paper, a brush, and an ink well. Sakura mutters something about those things not belonging in his kunai pouch, but Naruto is already halfway through a message by then and wholeheartedly not paying attention. 

He shoves the brush and ink back into his kunai pouch before placing the note between the uppermost pillow and the blanket. With a bit of hope, Rin and Kakashi-sensei will notice it waiting there whenever they come back. Then they won’t think Naruto and the others have been kidnapped by Orochimaru. Well, Orochimaru was captured right after Kakashi-sensei found them in the bunker, but maybe someone like Gaara could have come along and tried to fight them again. 

It already happened once, so there’s every possibility that it could happen again. 

Sakura and Sasuke are staring at him, exasperated, when Naruto turns back around. They only sigh when he plasters a grin onto his face though, their complaints disappearing when he heads for the window. None of them need to say another word as they climb out, using chakra to steady themselves on the outside wall. From there, the walk down is just as easy as breathing. 

“So, where exactly are we going?” Sakura asks, once they reach the ground. 

Naruto hesitates, glancing away. “Uh, the graveyard?” 

“The _graveyard_?”

“Yeah, the Kyuubi needs us to go to the Yondaime’s grave. I mean, I didn’t really ask what he wanted with the grave, but that’s what we’re doing,” he says, shrugging. 

Honestly, thinking about going to a graveyard is a bit too much for him to handle, but he has no intentions of telling them that. 

The heavy look Sakura and Sasuke exchange only confirms that urge. No need for either of them to know that he thinks the graveyard is the most terrifying place in the village. But that’s where the Kyuubi told him they needed to go, and he has no intentions of turning back on his promise now. 

He leads the way to the graveyard without complaint, trusting them to catch up once he takes off in a sprint. There aren’t too many people around, which isn’t surprising. Even the nurses at the hospital seemed a bit spooked about something, and none of them knew exactly what happened with Orochimaru. Or at least, Kakashi-sensei had asked them not to say anything about Orochimaru before he left. 

This would have been a lot better if they could stop at Ichiraku’s for dinner first. But Naruto doesn’t have any money on him, and he doubts the others do either. Money wasn’t exactly the first thing he thought he’d need when he packed for the exam. 

“Uh, Naruto, I think we’re being followed,” Sakura speaks up as she looks over her shoulder, abruptly cutting off that train of thought. “Actually, nevermind. We’re definitely being followed.” 

Naruto nearly trips over his own feet as he attempts to look back. “Wait, what?” 

_You didn’t even notice that much?_ the Kyuubi asks from the back of his head, about ten shades of exasperated, _I can’t believe I’m trusting an idiot like you._

“As if you have a choice,” Naruto mutters. 

_There’s always a choice._

The Kyuubi falls silent then, as Naruto keeps looking around for whatever is following them. At least Sasuke looks just as confused as he does, both of them slowly turning around in an attempt to catch a glimpse of whatever Sakura was talking about. 

Just when Naruto is about to call Sakura out for lying, he sees a flash of light right above their heads. Only it isn’t so much a flash of light as it is a flame travelling across the sky. A flame that looks almost suspiciously familiar, even from this distance. His stomach drops as he realizes what - or rather, who - is flying above their heads, following them right to the graveyard.

“Hey!” Naruto immediately shouts at the sight of her, pointing up at Asa. “Just what do you think you’re doing up there?” 

Asa falters high in the sky, veering off to the left somewhere. His finger follows her right until she disappears entirely from sight. Sakura and Sasuke stumble as they try to turn on their heels, Sasuke nearly falling right on his face. At least Sakura manages to catch herself. Naruto would laugh at both of them if he weren’t a bit preoccupied staring up towards the sky. 

After a few moments, Asa appears once again. She is clearly attempting to stay hidden as she peaks her head over the edge of the roof, but it doesn’t work for a moment. Even if Naruto weren’t paying attention, it would be difficult to hide the flames covering her from head to toe. Her head disappears from sight as soon as she spots them, and Sasuke breathes out sharply in what’s almost a laugh. 

It does absolutely nothing to dim the light radiating from the rooftop. The only way she could be more obvious is if she flew directly in front of them and still acted like they couldn’t see her. 

“Should we do something?” Sakura hesitantly asks, when Asa doesn’t answer. 

Sasuke frowns. “We need to keep moving. It’s not like a bird is going to do anything to us, even if it’s-” 

“Her, actually. And she might? She’s one of Rin’s summons.” 

“That guy’s summon? That doesn’t mean he knows what we’re doing, does it?” 

“I don’t think so. Asa would have to go back to Rin and tell him what’s going on first.” 

“Oi, Asa-chan!” Naruto shouts again, before Sasuke can respond. “We know you’re hiding up there!” 

Her head cautiously peaks out from the edge of the roof. “How? You lot certainly can’t see me!” 

“Yes, we can!” 

Asa ruffles her feathers, creeping a bit closer to edge as she tilts her head to the side. “Even if that’s true, so what? Can’t a bird go for a nice, evening flight without getting harassed by some random humans every now and then? 

“If you’re just going for an evening flight, then why are you hiding from us, huh?” Naruto retorts. 

Her squawk echoes down the street, just in time for someone to open up their window and lean outside. “Would you shut up already? Some of us are trying to eat dinner!” 

The window slams closed again, before any of them can react. But no amount of gaping at it from any of them makes the last thirty seconds disappear. 

There’s a beat of silence before Asa swoops down from her perch on the rooftop and lands perfectly on Naruto’s head. Her claws dig uncomfortably into his scalp, but she doesn’t move even when Naruto flails his arms in the air. It seems a dull victory that she’s stopped denying that she’s been following them. 

_Oi_ , the Kyuubi grumbles, lifting his head from his paws, _Invite the bird along, would you? Its presence is only going to make this easier._

Naruto rolls his eyes, not bothering to respond. The chances of him having a choice in whether or not Asa comes with them are next to nothing, not that he plans on admitting it. She seems pretty firmly perched on his head at the moment, and he doesn’t have any idea how to dislodge her. And trying to chase off a giant bird made almost entirely of flames seems like a bad idea.

“Rin only asked me to stay with you guys,” she informs them, matter of factly. “He didn’t say a word about telling him if you got yourselves into trouble. Or about stopping you from doing anything too stupid.” 

“You just want to know what we’re doing,” Naruto accuses her. 

She pauses awkwardly. “My own intentions have nothing to do with this!” 

“They have everything to do with this!” 

Sakura sighs, joining their conversation before either of them can continue. “Can we keep moving? I don’t want to be stuck there all night.” 

Their argument comes to an abrupt end as Naruto glances between Sakura and Sasuke. Neither of them actually look all that great. He had thought that they would have recovered from the fight with Orochimaru already, but apparently they haven’t. 

Asa pushes herself back into the air when Naruto starts walking again. This time around, Naruto can see her flying just overhead. It would probably be optimistic to think that she’s keeping watch for them, but that’s almost what it feels like. 

The rest of their walk to the graveyard still passes by almost entirely without incident though. Almost, because Naruto launches into another argument with Asa once they get close to the graveyard and she starts demanding to know what they’re doing there. He definitely doesn’t let himself notice the way Sasuke’s eyes are drawn towards the direction of the monument from the Uchiha massacre once they get to the graveyard. Just like he doesn’t steer them in the opposite direction of said monument. 

It works out well because they need to go further back into the graveyard. Everyone has been to see the Hokages’ graves at one point or another, usually as a result of class field trips. But this is the first time Naruto has been here of his own free will. There’s something about graveyards that makes him want to stay as far away from them as possible. 

Naruto can still easily pick out the Yondaime’s grave. 

His gaze is almost automatically drawn towards it, his feet carrying him towards the large stone and mostly familiar portrait in front of it. Namikaze Minato is the name etched into the stone, but it doesn’t mean much to him. 

It does mean something to the Kyuubi. It has to mean something with the way the Kyuubi seems to pull himself up, standing at his full height for the first time in Naruto’s memory. Sakura and Sasuke wait a few feet back with Asa, but Naruto hardly pays them any attention. Whatever happens next is probably going to be really weird. 

“Ready?” he asks, not looking back.

* * *

A weary weight rests on Iruka’s shoulders as he makes his way back to his apartment. The emptiness of his home usually makes that feeling worse, but this time, Iruka plans on welcoming it.

Any quiet will be welcomed after the last forty-eight hours. First, there was the commotion of being stuck in limbo with a bunch of other chūnin as they waited for their assigned teams to pass the second part of the exam. Then came the attack. Or rather, in Iruka’s case, then came attempting to find secure locations for each of the remaining genin. Allowing Konoha genin to go back to their families could very well end horribly if there’s another attack waiting for them. 

Iruka doesn’t know if he believes that there will be another attack. There might be an attempt from Oto to get Orochimaru out of Konoha, but even that feels like a stretch. But being prepared is still better than being caught unaware, he supposes. 

Then some people have been whispering about Sasuke being the focus on the attack, and that realization was a bit like getting caught in the middle of a bad storm. Someone like Orochimaru should have no business targeting genin. Even if the genin in question is the last of his clan, and has one of the strongest kekkai genkai Iruka has ever heard of, nevermind seen. 

Maybe a bit of company would be a good idea tonight, after all. 

Iruka turns on his heel. The trek across the village to Genma’s house will be entirely worth it, now that he thinks about it. The place might be empty, given the workload the jounin have to handle at the moment, but anything would actually be better than sitting alone in his apartment, turning all of this over in his head. 

He makes it down all of one street before his attention is caught by the sound of gasping breaths. It’s quiet. The fact that he noticed it at all is impressive, but there’s no denying its existence once he does. 

Continuing onwards would probably be the smartest decision. The sun is just about to set, and almost the entire village has been asked to stay inside unless absolutely necessary. But smart decisions like that are a bit beyond him, even when he’s working on a proper amount of food and sleep. And he doesn’t think he can ignore another person’s distress after everything else he’s put up with these past couple days.

A shock of red hair is the first thing Iruka sees, and it makes him stop in the entrance of an alleyway. Naruto - Rin, Iruka gently reminds himself - is slumped against a wall, one hand buried in his own hair. Even from here, Iruka can spot his shoulders shaking. Distress might be an understatement, now that he can see this.

Each step towards Rin is as careful as Iruka can manage it, but by the time he gets there, he realizes it doesn’t really matter. Rin isn’t paying attention to much of anything, not even a chūnin attempting to sneak up on him.

“Rin-kun?” Iruka says softly, kneeling down so he’s at eye-level with Rin. 

Rin falls silent, the small gasps coming to an abrupt halt. 

Other than that, Rin still doesn’t seem to be aware of his presence. That is what makes Iruka reach out to touch his wrist, gently easing it away from his face. Rin avoids his gaze, but that does nothing to hide the red tinge to his eyes. 

The problem is that Iruka doesn’t really know how to deal with any of this. He hardly knows how to talk to Naruto most of the time, nevermind an older version of his former student who he’s had all of one conversation with prior to right here and now. But he steels himself regardless. How many times has he spotted the Naruto he’s taught for years trying to wipe tears away before anyone notices, then done nothing about it? 

More times than he can count, probably. Iruka has always been a bit ashamed at how often he walked past without letting himself think twice about it.

“Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong, Naruto-kun?” Iruka asks, only partially on purpose. 

Rin doesn’t respond for a long moment, and Iruka waits for the words to sink in with baited breath. And they do, just as Rin tugs his wrist away and finally stares at Iruka with those wide, blue eyes of his. 

“Were you trying to be subtle or something?” he chides. “I would think you knew better than to underestimate me like that.” 

“But-” 

Iruka cuts him off with a roll of his eyes. “If you really thought I wouldn’t be able to recognize that laughter of yours from the other side of the village, you should rethink a couple things.” 

“You didn’t say anything,” Rin says, his voice hoarse. 

“Should I have? Recognizing you isn’t the same as having any idea of what’s going on, you know. And if it’s causing you this much distress, I’d like to know.” 

Rin manages a shaky laugh, his hands hesitantly dropping down to his lap. “I’m older than you now, Iruka-sensei, I think I can handle it by myself.” 

Iruka stares at him for a long moment, then reaches out to flick his nose. 

“Hey! What was that for?” 

“Handle it by yourself?” Iruka snaps, scowling. “No one can handle everything by themselves. Even trying is stupid, not to mention incredibly dangerous!” 

“But-” 

“No! Naruto, trust me when I say that everyone needs help every now and again, even if you’re somehow older than me now. You’ve clearly gotten yourself into some mess or another, so it’s about time that you let someone else pull you out of this situation,” he continues on, his eyes narrowing. 

Rin starts to laugh in earnest, his head falling back against the wall. 

“And just what do you think you’re laughing about?” 

“Iruka-sensei, I’m from the future.” Rin keeps laughing as Iruka recoils, immediately flailing at the declaration. “I was - well, I was trying to find a way to prove it to Kakashi. Like, I thought I had to have some sort of physical proof to show him, but you’ve just solved that for me, like always.” 

“Ah.”

Any retort Iruka might have made in response to that disappears into smoke at the small smile on Rin’s face. He knows it isn’t meant for him. The smile is far too fond for that. Iruka can believe that him and Naruto became close in whatever future Rin comes from - and that is more than enough to try and wrap his mind around - but Naruto will always be a younger brother to him. Rin wouldn’t be worrying so much about proving this if it were anyone other than Kakashi he were telling. 

Besides, if Rin is really _from the future_ \- not that Iruka has any reason to doubt it, because someone would only seriously use that explanation if they meant it - then he can’t really be the support Rin needs. He can be a shoulder to lean on, maybe. Time travel is a bit beyond his expertise though. It’s probably outside of most people’s expertise. 

But every mistake he’s made in regards to Naruto is still too close to the forefront of his mind to provide that support for Rin. Even buying Naruto dinner every now and again makes him feel like he’s swimming in deep water sometimes. 

“Thanks, Iruka-sensei!” Rin says, brightly.

Iruka blinks as Rin abruptly pulls him into a hug. It ends just as quickly as it begins, but it’s impossible to tell if that’s because Rin is unused to the contact or because he’s excited to get on with his explanation to Kakashi. And Iruka certainly doesn’t have the time to ask which it is. He hardly has the opportunity to watch Rin disappear from the alleyway altogether.

* * *

Rin loses his nerve just as he arrives back at the hospital room. 

The words waiting on the tip of his tongue disappear the moment he finds Kakashi already lounging against the wall, waiting for him. Only Iruka’s easy declaration from a few minutes ago forces him to step inside, his heart stuck in the back of his throat as he does. 

Then Rin carefully glances around the rest of the room and his discussion with Kakashi is the last thing on his mind. Other than the two of them, it’s empty. The hospital room has been entirely abandoned, unless Rin wants to fool himself into thinking that the handful of pillows shoved beneath a blanket are actually Team Seven. Given that they would have already started arguing, he doesn’t really think he can. 

No amount of looking around makes Team Seven appear out of thin air. Just like how no amount of asking Asa to watch over them will actually convince her to do as he asked. 

“They left a note,” Kakashi offers. 

Rin gapes at him. “A… note?” 

Kakashi inclines his head, pulling out a small piece of paper from his pocket. It disappears back into said pocket before Rin can lunge for it. “Naruto-kun was considerate enough to tell us that they have business to take care of. Business in the form of some sort of promise,” he says, mocking. “Better let them do it. Short of stumbling into Orochimaru’s cell, there isn’t much trouble they could be getting into.” 

“I’m going to kill them,” Rin declares. 

“Well, there would be that trouble.” Kakashi pushes himself off of the wall, walking towards Rin with a purpose in his steps. “But how about we leave that until they come back?” 

Rin blinks in surprise as he has to step to the side to let Kakashi pass. “Where are you going?” 

“Your place. There are things you need to explain.” 

“But, what about the kids?” 

“Maa, maa, you’re so picky, Rin-chan.” The familiar honorific is just enough to throw him off guard before Kakashi glances back over his shoulder. “Don’t worry so much, though. I’m sure they’re smart enough to find the note I left them, at the very least.” 

The urge to go search for the note himself almost overtakes Rin, but he rushes to fall into step beside Kakashi instead. Spotting the novel in Kakashi’s hands nearly makes him trip over his own feet. The older volume of Icha Icha makes it impossible to tell whether Kakashi is snickering at the book or Rin himself or maybe even both. 

It feels a bit like Rin has been transported to a time before the Chūnin Exam, before Kakashi started doubting him. That isn’t actually the case, otherwise Kakashi would meet his eyes as he holds open the front door of the hospital, but that’s just about the only thing that feels off. The problem is that it’s impossible to tell what Kakashi is thinking like this. With any hope, this will be temporary and things between them will go back to normal. 

Then again, the revelation that Rin is one of his students, plus nearly a decade and a half, probably won’t make things easier. 

Or maybe it could. 

Rin just doesn’t know if he wants it to be easier in that way. His conversation with Iruka and briefly speaking to Kurama aside, it’s been a long time since he was last Naruto. And then there’s still the whole time travelling thing to think about too. 

Actually, now that Rin is thinking about it properly, admitting that Obito is still alive and under Madara’s control will probably be the most difficult part of this conversation. Kakashi might not even listen to that part, nevermind believe him. 

The walk back to Rin’s house is mostly silent. Rin desperately tries to come up with a plan of action the entire way, his thoughts only broken up by the occasional giggles from Kakashi. There aren’t enough people on the streets to distract him, outside of a few civilians nearly running from lamp post to lamp post. Any other time, Rin would be suspicious, but right now, he’s grateful. 

At the same time, Rin can’t decide whether Kakashi’s giggling at Icha Icha is better or worse than complete silence would be. It is definitely a relief when Kakashi tucks it away as the house comes into view. But that does nothing else for the butterflies swarming his stomach. 

“Tea?” Rin offers as he unlocks the front door. 

Kakashi looks at him for a long moment. “How about we save that for afterwards?” 

“I - right.” 

It almost feels as if Rin is fumbling while he goes inside and walks up the stairs, like he can’t quite decide on what to do or how to do it. That doesn’t stop Kakashi from following him upstairs and sitting on his couch, even as Rin tries to decide what to do with his hands. 

He reaches for the blanket rumpled over the couch arm, meaning to fold it and drape it over the back of the couch arm, then abandons it for another time. Kakashi is watching him, Rin tells himself, which means he needs to start talking. But now that he’s here, he doesn’t know what to say. Or rather, he doesn’t know which detail to start with. There are so many explanations to make, Iruka’s unknowing advice or not.

“I have no intentions of attacking you if you sit down, Rin-chan,” Kakashi says, lightly. 

Rin sits, some of the nerves slowly fading away. “So, what exactly do you want to know?” 

“I mentioned something about your deepest, darkest secrets once, didn’t I?” Kakashi sighs as Rin swallows and finally turns serious for the first time all evening. “Everything. But I’d prefer it if you started with why you collapsed.” 

There is no way to ask for Kakashi’s help with that, Rin realizes with a growing sense of horror. And a question like that requires so much more explanation than just a simple why he’s in Konoha or even who he is. Starting at a point like that will only make this so much more complicated, whether he means to make it so or not.

It isn’t a simple question, but maybe it’s the answer he should have expected. 

Kakashi must see his hesitation, because he continues, his gaze unwavering. “At least tell me if it’ll happen again.” 

“It won’t,” Rin says, immediately. “I… there were some traces of the Kyuubi’s chakra in me. Naruto-kun must have let his control on the Kyuubi slip, so when the chakra in me kind of reacted to that? Either way, it burned the last of the Kyuubi’s chakra I had.” 

“You had the Kyuubi’s chakra in you?” Kakashi asks, somewhere between exasperated and awed. “What sort of person carries a bijuu’s chakra and isn’t a jinchūriki?” 

“The kind who was once a jinchūriki?” 

“Rin,” he says, warningly. 

Rin slouches back into the couch and sighs, the words finally coming together in his head. “I was. A jinchūriki, I mean. The Kyuubi’s jinchūriki, except his name isn’t actually the Kyuubi, because that would be stupid. He calls himself Kurama.” 

“Kurama?” 

“Uh-huh. He was really surprised when I asked him what his name was, the idiot. If he really wanted people to know his name, he should have just told them.” Rin hesitates, because that is only a small portion of the circumstances and he understands Kurama’s decision whether that was the intention or not. “Heh, that probably doesn’t explain anything, does it?” 

“I don’t think I’m following you,” Kakashi admits, his eye narrowing. 

Rin laughs awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “That’s fair! I mean, you’ve already met the Kyuubi’s jinchūriki now, and the one before Naruto-kun. And someone would have noticed if there were another Kurama wandering around.” 

“But?” 

“But telling people I’m from the future will probably never get easier?” 

“The… future,” Kakashi says, hesitantly. 

Rin nods. “The future.” 

“The future as in?” 

“Uh, I think it’s about six years from now? I came back a while ago now, though.” 

Kakashi gapes at him. “And… how old are you, again?” 

“I’m not sure? I lost track of time there for a while, but that’s what tends to happen when you have to entertain yourself for nearly half a decade! And things weren’t exactly going great, so I didn’t really bother keeping track either.” 

Silence echoes through the room, a bitter taste filling his mouth. There isn’t much Rin can do about it. This is one topic that he tries to stay far away from, even in the confines of his own mind. 

“People died,” Kakashi says, simply. 

Rin nods again, this time more haltingly. “Everyone. Not all at once, but yeah. Then there wasn’t really much left to do, you know? I didn’t want…” 

He falls silent, unwilling to continue. 

Sometimes, the feeling of sitting on that cliffside and waiting for Madara to come and kill him still rests over his skin, like Rin will open his eyes one day and find himself back there. That’s what it feels like right now. It feels like the house around him will fall to shambles when he blinks, a figment of his imagination.

Kakashi stares at him for a long moment, then reaches up to hook a finger into his mask. The distance between them closes as Rin is still attempting to figure out what he plans on doing. But then it doesn’t matter much anymore. 

Nothing other than the warm mouth sealed over his own matters. Confusion floods him at first, but all Rin needs to do is lean forward to feel the warmth, the want, the need filling him. That Kakashi is on the other side of this kiss matters, though not in the way Rin might have thought. It’s important in the way that Naruto wants the sun to be shining when he wakes up, instead of it being overcast with rain. 

Then there’s nothing. 

Nothing but his eyes slowly opening to an empty room, no Kakashi in sight. It isn’t destroyed or withered, but to Rin, it might as well be as his shoulders heave and he folds in on himself in the silence of his own living room.


	28. dripping with stars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Sometimes at night I would sleep open-eyed underneath a sky dripping with stars. I was alive then.”_ -Albert Camus, _Return to Tipasa_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all of the comments last chapter! <3 Also, uh, sorry not sorry?

Kakashi reaches up to check his mask without thinking. It rests perfectly over his nose and cheekbones, not even a touch out of place, just like it has been every other time he’s checked it since he arrived. Fiddling with it more will only do exactly what he’s been trying to avoid. Not that it’s stopped him yet. 

His hand drops down to his lap and he goes back to staring at the trees. No matter how much he craves the ability to go over there and stare at the names carved into the Memorial Stone, his feet just won’t take him there. Kakashi can’t even get a glimpse of the Stone from here. 

Coward, it seems to call him, hidden from sight. 

That is one of the tamer things Kakashi has called himself since he fled from Rin’s living room. 

As if he deserves anything kind after that. After the nervous way Rin started his explanation with time travel, the way his voice wavered when he admitted to the number of people dead, Kakashi doesn’t deserve much. But emotion had built up so tightly inside of him, looking for any way out. And the empathy over dead loved ones, the need to make that reality stop, the warmth buried in his chest that has only grown recently, ended with him surging forward.

The world could probably end - again, if the beginning of Rin’s explanation is true - and Kakashi wouldn’t be able to forget the feeling of Rin’s lips pressing back against his own. Even now, it is so much, too much to deal with. 

His fingers itch for the familiar weight of Icha Icha Paradise, but Kakashi can’t bring himself to reach for it. That isn’t so surprising when he can hardly manage to keep himself here, his back slumped against a tree trunk. And there’s nowhere else he could go from here. Maybe he could leave the village, perhaps, if Konoha weren’t in the middle of a crisis.

But the Hokage wouldn’t approve a request for him to go on a three month border patrol even if they weren’t in the middle of a crisis. Kakashi could offer to bring Team Seven with him and it still wouldn’t work. After those patrols he went on in ANBU, there’s little chance of the Hokage ever agreeing to let him do that. 

Leaving without permission would almost be worth not seeing Rin after what he just did. It would be worth putting those emotions off for whatever number of weeks or months he could escape responsibility for. If Kakashi thought he would actually manage to escape his emotions during that time. Having Rin turn from being rash and cheerful and just a touch mysterious, despite his inability to lie, to being all of those things plus so incredibly brave is still overwhelming enough that he can’t block it out entirely. 

Just what would Rin and Obito think of him now? Would they scold him for running away from someone during a moment of vulnerability? Obito would have likely gotten angry at him for running away so blatantly or maybe he would have laughed at how emotionally constipated he is or- 

“Kakashi?” 

His head jerks towards the sound of his name, the thought cutting itself off before it can go any further than that. 

“I guess I don’t have to ask what brings you out here, do I?” Genma asks from where he’s standing off to the side. 

“You could,” Kakashi offers, his voice hoarse despite him just sitting here for who knows how long. “That way we can both ignore the obvious.” 

“Sounds like fun.” 

“Doesn’t it?” 

Genma hums, neither agreeing or disagreeing with the sentiment visibly. “So, what brings you here? My guess is that it has absolutely nothing to do with the Memorial Stone about a dozen metres away.” 

Kakashi stares at him for a long moment, then lets out something that almost resembles a laugh, dragging his hand over his face. “I could be here to look at the Memorial Stone. You and I both know that it wouldn’t be the first time.” 

“Hard to tell when you’re so far away from it.” 

He falls silence once more, glancing towards the trees. The Memorial Stone is still somewhere on the other side, about as close as it could be while still carefully hidden from sight. 

“Why are you out here, Kakashi?” Genma asks, a touch more seriously this time around. 

“Hiding, it seems.” There’s a beat of silence in which Kakashi doesn’t elaborate, then he quickly changes the subject. “Maa, maa, none of this explains why you’re out here. I thought you wouldn’t let Gai out of your sight for at least a few more hours.” 

Genma doesn’t so much as blink at the obvious deflection. “Gai is fine.” Which you know perfectly well, Genma carefully doesn’t say. “A bit exhausted, perhaps, but nobody would have noticed after his team showed up. They should be still fawning over him now, actually.” 

“Ah.” 

“I was on my way back there now, if you wanted to join them,” Genma offers. 

Kakashi stares at the trees for a long moment, the weight of the Memorial Stone heavy on his shoulders, then carefully pushes himself up. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out Genma’s intent. But letting that particular group of rowdiness distract him seems less like an actual offer and more like a command when Genma is involved. 

The firm set of his mouth is too similar to the look he used to wear when him and Gai had to break into Kakashi’s apartment after particularly difficult ANBU missions. As much of it as Kakashi could take in before his stomach would lurch and he had to run for the toilet. There are more than a handful of reasons why he left ANBU, but they are, perhaps, the biggest ones of them all. After the last one, the Hokage hardly needed any prompting before removing him from the roster. 

Genma doesn’t say a word when Kakashi falls in line beside him. Rather, he just starts in the direction of his house, his hands shoved into his pockets. 

“Ah, so, why did you come all the way out here?” Kakashi asks, as they put the clearing behind them. 

There is a beat of silence before Genma inhales loudly. “Just… thought I saw something. We’ve all been on the paranoid side lately.” 

“Scared by a rabbit?” 

“Something like that.” 

Kakashi rolls his eyes and lets the topic drop. 

But they only make it so far before a dense wave of chakra stops them in their tracks.

* * *

“Are you sure this is it?” Sakura hesitantly asks. 

Naruto’s head shoots up, an offended look etched into his face when he looks at her. “Of course I’m sure! The Kyuubi definitely said we had to come to this grave. I can hear him grumbling about it right now!” 

Sakura looks back at the gravestone. 

Nothing Naruto has said in the last twenty minutes or so of apparent preparations has turned it into someone else’s grave. Anyone else’s grave would be better. Sakura may have been the top kunoichi in her class, but she can’t be the only member of Team Seven who recognizes the Yondaime’s grave. Or his face, for that matter, because there’s a helpful picture of him right in front of the grave. Everyone in Konoha has seen the Hokage’s Monument. 

But right now, neither of her teammates seem particularly concerned with the fact that the chakra monster who destroyed the village twelve years ago wanted them to come here of all places. To the grave of the Hokage who was killed in the attack. Even Asa appears perfectly content perched on top of the gravestone itself. Well, as content as a bird can look, Sakura supposes. 

When someone eventually finds them there, they’re going to be in so much trouble. This goes far beyond the problem of sneaking out of the hospital before they’ve been released, and right into the problem of getting kicked out of the Chūnin Exam for desecrating a Hokage’s grave. Sakura won’t even be able to shift all of the blame onto Naruto. If she really wanted to, she could have stayed behind. 

“Oi, Sasuke, get over here!” Naruto shouts over his shoulder. 

Sasuke narrows his eyes but doesn’t say a word, and he marches over to help with the preparations. 

Honestly, it’s a lot more than Sakura expected out of him. Ever since Sasuke woke up, he’s seemed a bit off somehow. Not enough that she can put the feeling into proper words, but if anything, she would say he seems a bit more tense than usual. Only that doesn’t sound quite right either. 

He kneels down beside Naruto in front of the grave, hesitantly putting his hands on the ground, then leaning his weight onto them. Naruto looks like he’s stumbling his way through giving instructions, but Sakura hangs back. Maybe if she keeps away from this all, she can at least most of the blame on them. 

“Sakura, it’s your turn!” 

She startles, blinking at Naruto’s wide grin. “Me?” 

“Of course!” She’s oddly touched by the way he doesn’t waver as he motions her over, like this is just another day. “All three of us should do this. Besides, the Kyuubi says that you’re our best bet for controlling the chakra. Whatever that means.” 

Her cheeks burn at the compliment. The last thing Sakura should be doing is feeling pleased that a bijuu noticed her above-average chakra control. If anything, she should be concerned that it knows anything about her at all. But knowing that does nothing to stop her back from straightening as she walks over there, kneeling between them and the gravestone as Naruto motions her to. 

Then Naruto grabs her hand and places it on Sasuke’s shoulder, her cheeks darkening further. “That should-” He hesitates, looking at the two of them suspiciously. “Uh, apparently you need to put both hands on his shoulders?” 

“Apparently?” Sakura asks, her voice awkwardly high. 

“According to the Kyuubi?” 

“Why are we even listening to some overgrown fox, anyways?” 

Sasuke huffs, breaking the building argument as he rolls his eyes at them. “It’s fine. The sooner we get this done and over with, the better.” 

“See?” Naruto says under his breath. 

Sakura hesitates for just a touch longer before she places her other hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. With any hope, no one will walk by and see them like this. And no longer just because they’re probably breaking a half dozen rules with whatever they’re doing here. 

Kneeling here, facing Sasuke with both of her hands on his shoulders has to look at least half as awkward as it feels. Sakura tenses as Naruto abruptly joins them, one hand on her shoulder and the other on top of her hand. If someone sees them like this, it will definitely get back to Ino one way or another. And she doesn’t have the slightest idea how she would even begin to explain any of this. 

She grits her teeth as an odd tension builds around them. Asa must fly off of the gravestone, because there’s a streak of red in the corner of her eye. If it weren’t for the warmth radiating around them from her flames, it would be impossible to tell if she decided to stick around or not. 

“Sasuke, you need to start pulling it!” Naruto shouts, almost right in her ear. 

In her ear, but something about the shout is distant. Like Naruto is standing on the other side of a large room, instead of right beside her. 

Bewilderment is written on Sasuke’s face across from her. “What?” 

Then comes the chakra. 

It takes her breath away as it surges up through Sasuke, up and up until it reaches the palms of her hands. There are no similarities between this chakra and her own, not by a long shot. 

There is a limit to her own chakra. Sakura is always aware of it, even when she’s half-asleep in her bed each morning. And sometimes it takes a bit of urging to pull it out exactly how she wants it, like coaxing along an injured animal. Maybe more than that, it usually feels smooth and gentle, except for the occasional jagged edge. Ino once explained her own chakra as being like a waterfall. All she had to do was divert its direction, and sometimes that took a bit of effort and control to get it to do exactly what she wanted, but not too much.

That would be the middle ground between Sakura’s chakra and this. Only not actually when even the concept of a middle ground doesn’t exist here. 

Because the Kyuubi’s chakra can only be an ocean, lapping at the palms of her hands as she struggles to slow it down. The problem is that it’s an ocean in the middle of a storm, an ocean that wants to fight against her at every opportunity. Sakura doesn’t know how to deal with this much chakra at once, how to do anything but try to shove it towards Naruto rather than let it gather inside her. 

Someone might be screaming. She doesn’t think it’s her, it sounds too far away for that, but it very well could be in this odd place between awareness and not. 

She doesn’t even notice that her eyes are closed until she opens them to red. Red in front of her, red to her left and to right. Red in its overwhelming consistency as it throws the pink strands of her hair into disarray. Sasuke stays firm beneath her grip, but it takes a few moments for her to pick out even the faint outline of his body and red pinwheels directed right at her. He might be the one screaming, she realizes. It almost looks as if his mouth is open. 

Her arms begin to feel like they have pins and needles as the chakra climbs its way up to her elbows. Picking out the sensation from everything else is difficult, but Sakura notices it almost absentmindedly. Her chakra points are thrown wide open, more receptive to the world than they’ve ever been, and she feels rather than hears herself gasp as her awareness of the chakra around them increases tenfold. 

A raging storm was the wrong way to try and understand the Kyuubi’s chakra. Sakura takes in a shaky breath at the realization, her forehead awkward bumping against Sasuke’s as she slouches forward. A storm on the ocean is a force unto itself, but it isn’t a war between two separate forces. Thinking of it as two storms colliding with each other doesn’t quite ring true either, not when they can be so entirely consumed by one another. 

These two forces are never going to consume each other, never going to be so powerful as to allow one to beat out the other. 

But neither will they calm. 

Each centimetre the chakra climbs up her arms increases her awareness. There are different parts of it, from the little she can pick out of it. Of course, there is the red chakra surrounding them with its two different parts. Only Sakura can also sense less substantial chakras within that as well. Something that burns constantly, like a steady torch in a cavern, and another that feels much more like the wind and the sun on a late spring afternoon. 

Then it reaches her shoulders, reaches the spot where Naruto continues to touch her, and flickers of images appear in front of her, drowning out everything else. 

They start with a red-haired woman. 

She stands with her back straight and her face set with a grim determination. The woman reaches towards her, impossibly small, but the rest of the world feels small as well. Then come the chains and the seals, reaching up around Sakura, stopping her from moving even a centimetre until-

Another woman appears. No, not a woman, but a girl even younger than Sakura is herself. This girl doesn’t have quite the same stoic disposition as the woman before her, almost seems to waver a little while she stares at Sakura. Then she glances over her shoulder at someone in the background and her determination sinks in. This time, only chains burst out of the ground and wrap themselves-

Sakura almost doesn’t recognize the girl this time around. So many years have gone past between this image and the last, years that have made the chubbiness melt off of her cheeks, have calmed her nervous energy. But that isn’t a fair assessment to make, not when she has blood spilling from her mouth and a distant look in her eyes. She mouths something, the words not quite brought to life, then a cage comes down between them, cutting her off-

It switches now to an infant. But this time around, there are still bars separating Sakura from the infant, even as it cries and cries and-

There’s nothing. 

Not the stoic woman or the woman the girl turned into or even the infant. Just the red in front of her eyes, and so much more of everything else just beyond it. 

Sakura has to fight to keep the chakra flowing towards Naruto. She has to focus all of her energy on the last bits of chakra, a touch more before her hands can stop tingling. Relief starts there, then travels up her wrists, all the way up to her elbows. 

By the time the chakra drains from her shoulders, she can hear herself gasping for air again. She can hear Naruto and Sasuke doing the same thing in front of her and to her side. The world still feels a bit distant, like her fingers would move through things instead of touch them, but she’s alright with that right now. Distant is better than something immediate and pressing. 

She falls onto her back as soon as she can pull her hands from Sasuke’s shoulders. Staring up at the night sky reminds her a bit of being Wave, and of training with Kakashi-sensei and Rin before the Chūnin Exam. Which is a bit odd, admittedly, because - because Rin is at his home, more than a bit panicked, and nowhere close to where they are. And Kakashi-sensei is running towards them with another shinobi, also panicked, but his panic is almost calmer.

“Hey! Just what was that?” Sakura places the high-pitched tone as Asa before she recognizes the chakra, far more similar to the Kyuubi’s than it is to either Kakashi-sensei or Rin’s. “I - I know I told you guys that this could stay between us, but I need to get Rin. He can-”

“It’s alright,” she says, faintly. 

“ _Alright_?” Asa screeches. 

Sakura reconsiders for a moment. Personally, she doesn’t think she could even stand right now, but if she focuses just a little, she can feel Rin’s intent to come find them. Plus, the Kyuubi doesn’t seem to be rampaging through the village. 

All in all, this has gone a lot better than Sakura thought it would. 

“Yeah,” she settles on. “You’d just meet him on his way here, anyways.” 

“I know for a fact that I’ve never heard you say something as weird as that before,” Sasuke mutters from somewhere past her feet. “I’ve never heard Naruto say something that weird before.” 

“Well, you’d agree with me if you could-” 

The realization sinks in, just like that. 

This isn’t just some odd awareness of Rin and Kakashi-sensei that Sakura’s feeling right now. She can pick them out more easily than she can anyone else, but if she focuses just a bit on what Ino has always vaguely felt like to her-

There’s Ino, just like Sakura guessed. A bit on the exhausted side, but she’s on her way to the Nara compound with Shikamaru and Chōji. There’s actually almost something worried to that feeling. Which must be less a feeling and more Ino’s chakra. Or it could be entirely Ino’s chakra, even though Sakura is so very far away and has never had a talent for sensing chakra. Most people don’t, not until they reach jounin-level. 

“Oh,” she exhales. 

“He didn’t leave.” 

Her shock is immediately derailed as she turns her head to look at Naruto. It doesn’t really work too well. She can see far more of Asa flittering around them than she can of Naruto himself. 

But she doesn’t need to see him anymore to know how amazed he is. Amazed and awed and just a little bit heartbroken, if that quick sniffle is anything to go by. Sakura can’t claim to understand what he’s feeling, and for once in her life, she’s alright with that. She doesn’t think she wants to know what it would be like to have a monster locked inside her. 

Especially not if it’s anything like having those people in the vague images she saw reject her, confine her over and over again. 

“What are you talking about?” Sasuke asks, tense. 

Naruto sniffles again. “The Kyuubi. I - I promised that I would free him. And that asshole just _stayed_.” 

“But-” 

“I don’t get it! Why would he want to stay inside me of all people? He could have - I don’t know, left the village and gone to live in the forest or something. It isn’t as if he likes anyone!” 

There’s a beat of silence as her and Sasuke take that information in. 

Sakura stares back up at the night sky. All of this couldn’t have been for nothing. Even if the Kyuubi decided not to leave Naruto like it originally wanted to, this wasn’t for nothing. She has no idea what they just did, but it was something. They managed to change something. 

“Can you talk to him now?” Sakura asks, carefully. “Then you could at least find out why he decided to stay.” 

Naruto hesitates. “No? I mean, I could probably try, but he was… fighting with himself? And he isn’t fighting now, but it kind of feels like he’s sleeping.” 

“It kind of feels like he’s sleeping?” Sasuke mocks. 

“It isn’t really an exact thing, teme!” 

“Of course you’d think that, dobe.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“It’s supposed to mean that-” 

Sakura holds back a laugh as she lies there, listening to their bickering. If they can stand through the entirety of the Kyuubi’s chakra and still keep fighting, then everything will turn out alright. She would be far more worried if they couldn’t manage at least this much.

* * *

Hiruzen stares out the window, watching the red chakra start to fade from the sky. 

Trust Naruto to get himself into the most explosive trouble he could find in the middle of a crisis. The entire village must have felt that display, including each and every foreign shinobi currently staying within their walls. Perhaps even a few from outside of the village, if they have any sort of sensing abilities. 

With any hope, the foreign shinobi will consider the burst of the Kyuubi’s chakra to be a show of power or at least a weak attempt at proving their strength after being so obviously sabotaged. That would be the best outcome. Unless someone then decides to call a Kage Summit to deal with a seemingly rampant jinchūriki, because he doesn’t know how effective he would be at curbing the restrictions they would place on Naruto. 

A knock at the door pulls his attention from the window, and he frowns. There should already be half a dozen shinobi on their way to wherever Naruto is at, even without his direct command. 

No one has any reason to be here right now. 

His visitor doesn’t wait for him to answer the door himself, instead welcoming themselves inside. Hiruzen relaxes slightly at the sight of Danzō, but that only lasts a moment before he spots the katana. It looks out of place when compared to Danzō’s usual, casual outfit, a striking difference between the two. All of them have been a bit paranoid these past few days, however this is, perhaps, taking that a bit too far. 

“Danzō,” Hiruzen says, cautiously. “I take it you’re here because of Naruto-kun.” 

Danzō looks at him, his stare unwavering. “Someone needs to deal with that child.” 

“That someone is not going to be you.” He pauses, glancing back at the dissipating red in the sky. “Besides, Naruto-kun is a genin now. There is little that can be done to restrain him on the basis of rank, as you insisted we should have done before his graduation.” 

The door quietly closes behind Danzō as he approaches the desk with care. “Then surely there’s something that can be done on the basis of his status as jinchūriki. The other villages wasted no time in placing restrictions on their own jinchūriki.” 

“Danzō-”

“Certainly after this display, you will take it under consideration, at the very least.” 

“Minato and Kushina would have never limited Naruto in such a way,” Hiruzen counters, his eyes narrowing. 

“Minato and Kushina are long since dead.” 

The statement echoes between them, its truth inescapable, and Hiruzen finally turns to face his old friend head on. He hasn’t put much thought into what Danzō has been doing in recent days. There have been too many other things to take into consideration, things that he thought would be beyond Danzō’s care, now that their age has come to an end. It seems that was a mistake. 

Or perhaps Hiruzen simply let himself believe that Danzō would keep quiet while tensions in the village were high. Perhaps it just did not occur to him after all this time, after the decades of having to curb Danzō’s tendency towards strict militarism. His old age hangs on him at the best of times, nevermind when stress and lack of sleep come together to make things more difficult. Shinobi are not meant to live as long as he has. But that is as much of an excuse as anything else would be. 

“No one will forgive you for this,” Danzō says, quietly. 

Hiruzen snorts at the odd statement coming from Danzō. It sounds far too much like himself and nothing like Danzō. “There are plenty of people who would forgive me. Everyone who has ever interacted with Naruto-kun, for one.” 

“That isn’t-” 

“Danzō, we need to move forward. Jiraiya will be sending messages to each major shinobi village first thing in the morning,” he retorts. “Those messages will formally explain the situation and ask what we, as a village, can do to make reparations for what’s happened. Too many genin have died here to do anything else.” 

Danzō sighs. 

Just like that, he looks nearly twenty years younger. It must be something about his eyes, Hiruzen notes as his mouth goes dry. But no, he knows that look. It’s the same one Danzō has always worn before going into combat. 

“I hoped it wouldn’t come to this. Your endless optimism has brought us this far, but you know as well as I do that the rest of the world hasn’t responded in kind,” Danzō tells him, matter-of-factly. 

“It has!” Hiruzen snaps, slamming his hands down on his desk. “Konoha would have never achieved this peace if it weren’t for all of the negotiations I’ve made. If nothing else, surely you can understand that kind of argument.” 

“Your measures will never be enough, at least beyond the surface. I could have told you that when we were still children, but this is no longer in your hands.” 

“What are you-” 

Danzō reaches for his katana and his sleeve falls off his shoulder in the process. A lump forms in Hiruzen’s throat as he stares at Danzō’s bare arm for the first time in what must be over a decade. Eye after eye after eye has been implanted into his arm. Far too many to explain anything Hiruzen knows about his time as Hokage. 

“I know you’ve always wanted a fighter’s death,” Danzō says, a strange calmness in his words. “That much, I am prepared to give you.”


	29. the worst thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent wondering if something could have materialized - and never knowing."_ -David Viscott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Just wanted to let you guys know that the next chapter won't be coming out in two weeks from now, as I've been doing for the past few months, but in three weeks from now. The holidays haven't been giving me too much time for writing and that's not about to change anytime soon. 
> 
> As always, thanks for the kudos and comments! Hope you enjoy the new chapter <3

Rin is still sitting in his living room when he feels the spike of chakra from the other side of the village, reeling from shock and hurt alike. 

Even then, he doesn’t recognize it right away. 

Not because Kurama’s chakra is anything other than distinctive, but because his thoughts are moving at a snail’s pace. They have been for who knows how long now, except that the room has gotten significantly darker since he opened his eyes to an empty living room. And continued to sit here, his hands clenching and unclenching. 

Pain is what Rin expects once he recognizes the chakra. This Kurama has done nothing but use the traces of his Kurama to pull himself out of Naruto. By the time Rin realizes that can’t happen anymore, he’s on his feet and moving more by instinct than anything else. If Kurama isn’t using that to make himself more powerful, than he needs to be there to figure out what he is doing. He doesn’t even know if there’s enough of his Kurama’s chakra left to make that work. 

Only once Rin gets to the door does he remember to run back upstairs for his spear and kunai pouch, both left abandoned on the kitchen counter at some point. Chakra surges to his feet as he rushes to get them, to get extra first aid supplies from the bathroom, to nearly fall face-first on his way back down the stairs. 

It takes him nearly three tries to get his sandals on properly. 

Normally, Rin would give the defence of simultaneously attempting to tie his hair back, but there there isn’t time. With each passing moment, another wave of Kurama’s chakra washes over him, stronger than the one before it. Growing beyond comprehension, beyond the amount of chakra Naruto should have packed into his body. 

The chakra all but disappears once Rin finally gets himself through the door. His stomach drops, a sick feeling growing in the back of his throat. It takes him a few moments to regain his composure, to gently close the door behind him, to stop himself from assuming the worst. Then he starts to run, no hesitation in his strides. 

Even someone naturally sensitive to chakra would find it difficult to pick out three genin on what must be the other side of the village. And Rin was never naturally sensitive to chakra, so much as forced into being sensitive to it. But neither could he forget the general direction Kurama’s chakra was initially coming from. Piecing things together from there is relatively simple. The graveyard is the only thing in that area, the only place they could possibly be. 

Rin nearly falls to his knees when he reaches Minato’s grave and finds all three genin collapsed in front of it. 

They’re breathing. 

They look exhausted, but they’re breathing. 

And Asa is there, fluttering from genin to genin, as if keeping a constant watch over them will stop anything else from happening. She spots him first, her wings drooping in relief. It’s similar enough to what she does when she gets off chick-watching duty that it almost makes him laugh. Instead, he exhales sharply, unable to tear his eyes away. 

“See?” Sakura speaks up, her eyes still closed. “I told you guys he was on his way.” 

His heart sinks. 

Naruto startles, then quickly pushes himself up, grinning when him and Rin make eye contact. “I never doubted you, Sakura.” 

“You did too!” 

“I doubted that you could feel him, not that you knew he was coming,” he corrects, easily. 

Sakura rolls her eyes and scowls up at the sky. “That’s still doubting me! As soon as I can move again, I have every intention of punching you. Maybe then you’ll believe me.” 

Rin does laugh this time around, comforted by the familiar bickering, at the very least. His legs waver with each step he takes, but he can hardly believe they survived, nevermind that they’re conscious. Nature chakra is dangerous, and Kurama has a lot of it. Even a summon would have a difficult time going up against it. Which means Team Seven should be nothing more than three stone statues right about now. 

And yet, other than a handful of bruises and some obvious chakra exhaustion, they don’t look too worse for the wear. They all turn to stare at him when he drops to the ground beside them, moments away from hugging them despite that. Instead, Rin settles for reaching over and tightly squeezing Naruto’s hand. 

Naruto squeezes back, beaming even as he drops back to the ground. “Did you see how awesome that was?”

“Not seeing it didn’t stop me from feeling it,” Rin counters, relieved amusement seeping into his voice. 

“Right? It was so cool!” 

Rin breathes out a laugh. “What even was that?” 

“Eh? You couldn’t tell?” There’s a grin on Naruto’s face as he says that though, and he quickly rushes to explain. “Well, you see, I promised the Kyuubi that I would free him. He… just really wanted to be free, you know? And he said he would help us with Gaara and Orochimaru if I did, so it seemed like a good idea. Then he told us to come here, and we followed his instructions, but… he didn’t leave.” 

Naruto’s gaze moves up to the ring of clear sky above them, just a flicker of confusing passing across his face. 

Oh. 

Sasuke groans, lifting his hand to press it against his forehead. “You weren’t supposed to tell him any of that, dobe.” 

“Huh?” 

“He doesn’t know about the Kyuubi!” 

Naruto stops. 

Then he turns his head back towards Rin, his eyes wide. “You didn’t hear any of that! We definitely didn’t come out here to help a bijuu. And I definitely didn’t make any sort of promise with one either, for that matter!” 

Rin snorts. 

“Rin-” 

“It’s a bit too late to try and hide that, Naruto.” 

“But-” 

“Not that it matters, anyways. I already knew about the big guy,” Rin says, casually. “Besides, I’m more interested in why you thought it was a good idea not to let anyone know what you were trying to do.” 

Naruto’s protests die off, replaced by awkward laughter. 

“You’re not the only one.” 

Rin looks over his shoulder and lets his hand slip from Naruto’s grasp, his stomach slowly sinking. 

Kakashi is standing there. Standing there and very carefully not looking back at Rin, like everything about today never happened. Rin hasn’t seen him look so business-like in his life, 

Logically, Rin knows that’s understandable. His genin team can’t even manage to sit up quite yet, not with the level of chakra exhaustion they have. If chakra exhaustion is even the right word for how Kurama’s chakra tore through Sakura and Sasuke, before situating itself into Naruto. Their safety is more important than any situation him and Rin have gotten themselves into, at least at the moment. 

But how Kakashi can just stand there and pretend that he didn’t kiss him then flee is beyond Rin. Or even just ignore the fact that Rin exists, for that matter. 

This isn’t the time. 

Sasuke sighs, the roll of his eyes almost audible. “Naruto thought you would get angry at him for wanting to help the Kyuubi. Doesn’t look like he was wrong either.” 

“Hey!” 

“It’s true,” Sasuke hisses. 

Rin forces his attention back over to them, but the clamp around his chest only seems to tighten at the frustration on their faces. If they could glare at each other right now, they would be. This verbal warfare seems to be the next best thing. 

If this is what they’re like as friends, Rin should only feel grateful. Seeing Sasuke banter with someone without the usual thread of anger in his voice is a relief, one he could never put into words. This is already better than his own reality in that one regard. But right now, all Rin feels is a bittersweet nostalgia towards that bickering. He’ll take what he can get and support anything good in their relationship, of course. Like it or not, they need each other more than they need the rest of the world. 

Except perhaps Sakura, in order to stop them from destroying themselves from the inside out. 

“Look,” Genma cuts in, drawing Rin’s attention to the man standing a half step behind Kakashi for the first time. “I don’t really understand what’s going on here, but it seems like it’s been handled. Rin, Kakashi, you two should take Team Seven somewhere safe, and I’ll go tell the Hokage that the situation has been dealt with.” 

“Alright,” Rin says, then pauses. “Did you guys come as soon as you felt the chakra too?” 

Genma lets his gaze slide over to Kakashi, before he sighs and rolls his eyes. “We did. But it helped that I was taking this idiot back to my place for the night when we felt it.” 

His face falls. 

There’s nothing wrong with Kakashi spending the night at Genma’s. It would be better than Kakashi sitting alone in his own apartment, like Rin had unconsciously assumed he would. But something about the way Genma says that makes his stomach twist uncomfortably. 

Not that it matters how uncomfortable Rin feels at that implication. Kakashi still left earlier, still cut off his opportunity to explain things properly for the first time. Didn’t even stick around to explain that kiss, why soft lips had pressed against Rin’s like it meant everything in the world. They still have to get Team Seven out of here now, and to a place where they can sleep off whatever they just did. 

Rin turns back to the genin still collapsed in an awkward pile of arms and legs, and grins. “So, who’s ready for a sleepover at my house?”

* * *

Sasuke groans and rolls over. Or he tries to roll over, but something holds him in place, just like the last three times he’s half-heartedly tried breaking away from whatever has such a strong grip on his arm. 

His head is pounding. All he really wants is to go to the bathroom, then crawl back into bed and shove his head under a pillow. That would be the fastest route to pretending that the rest of the world doesn’t exist. Everyone else will just have to make do when he doesn’t come out for another five years. 

A quiet snore fills the room, and his nose scrunches up. 

Last he checked, no one he knew snored. 

At least, no one other than Naruto, but Naruto seems to be in the clingy stage of his sleep. Otherwise, nothing would feel quite so warm and soft around them. That is a completely different feeling from when Naruto sprawls out on his back in the middle of the night, prone to kicking anything close to him and snoring so loudly that his neighbours complain about it. His neighbours have complained about a lot of things though, so Sasuke tends not to bring it up. 

Sasuke pulls his arm again, the grasp Naruto has on it only tightening. Another snore follows after it, just a bit quieter this time around. 

“Would you let go, dobe?” he mutters, sounding a touch less annoyed than he really feels. “I don’t think you want to deal with the mess if I can’t get to the bathroom sooner, rather than later.” 

Naruto just mumbles something unintelligible, which makes Sasuke roll his eyes. 

But for once in his life, the urge to blame Naruto for not letting go doesn’t well up inside him. After everything that happened last night, all three of them need at least two solid days of sleep, if not more. Too bad that isn’t about to happen, not after the quiet account of the village Sakura gave them as they were falling asleep. 

Orochimaru isn’t even the main problem anymore. Sakura couldn’t manage to pick him out, even though she could everyone else they knew in the village. That was odd in itself, but Sasuke also remembers her muttered warning of chakra coming from the southwest. More chakra than there should be, really. 

All of which can wait until after he’s gone to the bathroom. 

“I mean it,” Sasuke says, with a touch of warning. 

The hold on his arm finally loosens as Naruto grumbles and rolls over. There’s no way to tell if he was actually conscious enough to understand or if the sound of a threat was enough to make him move. Sasuke has long since learned to take what he can get in these situations. 

His eyes flutter open and he pushes himself up, just in time to see the perpetrator of the loud noises snore a third time, her mouth wide open. Sasuke snorts. He wouldn’t have guessed that Sakura snored. It seems to so contrary to those arguments her and Ino get into about which one of them is more beautiful or graceful or whatever. 

Then he hesitates. All of those arguments happened before these past couple weeks, even before they became genin. It feels like forever ago now with just how much has changed. Beauty and grace weren’t exactly the first things on Sakura’s mind when she lunged at Orochimaru in his defense. 

Sasuke braces himself for the backlash of rage that always comes when he thinks about things like that. Rage at Sakura for thinking he needed to be saved. Rage at himself for not actually being able to save himself in that moment. Then rage because he couldn’t have done anything to help back then, because he shouldn’t be angry at Sakura for supporting him. And lastly, rage at the world for putting him in a situation like that in the first place. 

It never comes. 

His hands shake as Sasuke climbs out from beneath the covers and over the bed, not giving himself the opportunity to be thrown off guard. If he focuses, he can hear someone moving around the kitchen, the quiet noises loud against the background of the otherwise silent house. 

Sasuke ignores that in favour of bee-lining towards the bathroom. The mirror on the wall taunts him, but he refuses to look at it until he’s finished washing his hands. Then he glances up and has to stop for a long moment. 

The person staring back at him doesn’t look like the person Sasuke always sees in the mirror. No one else would probably notice the differences in his face, up to and including Naruto, but there they are anyways. 

It starts with the bags under his eyes. Or rather, the lack of bags under his eyes, and it nearly makes him reel backwards when he realizes he probably slept more last night than he has since the massacre. Smaller things come after that. Like how Sasuke no longer looks like he’s scowling, even he tries scowling at the mirror. There’s no line between his eyebrows either, not the taunting look that always makes him want to shatter the mirror into a thousand pieces. 

His gaze drops after a moment, stuck on the mark Orochimaru left on his shoulder. Sasuke has only really seen it once, the day he regained consciousness. Not that he’d needed to see the mark to know it was doing something to him, consuming him with the need to scream and shout at every person he came across. 

The curse mark is still there. 

Sasuke blinks, his eyes narrowing. The mark is still there, but it certainly doesn’t look the same as it had the last time he saw it. That mark had been three tomoe in a careful circle. 

This… is much closer to scattered flames covering almost his entire shoulder. Flames that don’t throb with pain every time he so much as thinks about the mark. Sasuke hesitantly touches it, but it doesn’t change, neither receding or spreading further. If anything, this is what a tattoo probably feels like, any power it had just gone entirely. 

Last Sasuke checked, curse marks aren’t supposed to work this way. 

The bedroom door is slightly ajar when Sasuke steps out of the bathroom, but his mind is still preoccupied with the curse mark. His urge to climb back into bed, awkwardly sandwiched between Naruto and Sakura, continues to diminish with each passing second. Just laying there would be impossible with this anxious energy resting right beneath his skin. 

Sasuke turns instead, heading towards the kitchen. He hears rather than sees Rin first, but it is a comfort when he turns around the corner and spots Rin in front of the stove as he hums along to some song or another. 

“Where’s Kakashi-sensei?” Sasuke asks, stopping near the top of the stairs. 

Rin glances over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised. “Good morning to you too, Sasuke-kun.” 

He tenses and his gaze flickers to the side. 

Rin continues to watch him. 

Sasuke slowly lets out a breath. “Good morning.” 

“Kakashi went home. Almost as soon as we got back here last night,” Rin admits, turning back towards the stove. There’s an awkward edge to his voice, but the only way Sasuke is touching that with a ten foot pole is if someone else forces him into it. “Feel free to sit down, if you want. Or don’t. It’s completely up to you.” 

“Right,” Sasuke says, lowly. 

He looks around the room. Between the couches and the dining room table, there are more than enough places to sit, but just being here feels odd. Sitting in the same room as Rin and having an actual conversation with him feels odd.

Not once in these past few months has he come to this house or had a conversation with Rin, at least not one without Naruto leading the way through it. Even Sakura has talked with Rin before, according to that weird story she told them of Rin suggesting she look into becoming a medic nin. It isn’t like Sasuke cares. He came to terms with Naruto having other family at some point, he guesses, but it was never quite obvious. 

Rin turns back around, the spoon for the miso soup in hand, and pauses. “Have you noticed anything strange about the cursed seal?” 

His back straightens automatically. “No.” 

“No?” They stare at each other for a long moment, then Rin snorts, breaking the odd tension. “Sorry, sorry. I just - the look on your face. You made it seem like I was going to dump your body somewhere in the Forest of Death and let it rot there.”

It takes everything Sasuke has to stop his face from turning a bright red. “Wh-why would I think something like that? The curse seal is fine. So, you’re wrong.” 

Rin starts laughing in earnest this time around, and he turns slightly to stir the soup, his attention split. “You sure about that? Curse seals are kind of the definition of wrong, Sasuke-kun.” 

“That’s not-” 

“Besides, Asa pointed it out to me last night. Looks like whatever trouble you guys got into last night had some benefits, though don’t ask me how you managed not to kill yourselves.” 

“We would have been fine,” Sasuke mutters, finally giving in. 

“Not if it wasn’t for that curse seal of yours. Or a bunch of other factors, for that matter,” Rin counters as he puts the spoon to the side and walks towards him. Stopping his face from flushing now is impossible as Rin pushes his collar aside and looks at the curse seal with a hum. “See? That thing went up against all the nature chakra the Kyuubi has and burned itself out. A bijuu’s chakra is too much even for something like this.” 

His mouth flattens into a straight line. “Uh-huh.” 

“I mean, you could have been turned to stone instead, so count yourself lucky!” Rin pauses, considering. “Actually, Asa is headed back to her home to figure why all of you aren’t made of stone right now. Her and this thing couldn’t have handled all that nature chakra.”

His stomach drops. “Stone?” 

“A giant stone statue, yeah. Maybe even in the shape of a fox.” 

Rin laughs as Sasuke stumbles backwards, the colour draining from his face. Here he had been all concerned because he didn’t feel angry like he usually is, when he really should have been angry at Naruto for nearly getting them turned into giant fox statues. As soon as he crawls out of bed, he’s going to find out exactly how much weight his threats can hold.

* * *

All Genma wants to do is stumble back home and take the longest shower in the history of existence, then crawl into bed and not come out for the next week. Maybe when he wakes up, everything will have already fixed itself. Maybe when he wakes up, the feeling of cold blood coating his hands will have disappeared. 

And maybe he’ll wake up to warm sunshine and Gai telling him that there was a new village holiday named in his honour. 

Stranger things have happened, even if they don’t usually have a happy ending like that. 

Instead, Genma stands in front of an unfamiliar door, dread filling him to the brim. This is the fourth house he’s been to so far, and each one has gotten more and more difficult. 

Him and Rin have talked a handful of times before now. More than that, there has to be something good to him if Kakashi was so broken up about whatever happened between them yesterday. Even the desperate relief Rin showed over Team Seven at the graveyard last night was a good sign. The three barely conscious genin and the Kyuubi’s chakra seeped into the very ground was less good, but Genma isn’t one to judge. Genin like those three are all too willing to throw themselves into stupid situations, anyways. 

He should know. He used to be one of those stupid genin, even if it’s been a few years now. 

Besides, that was yesterday. 

Konoha has much more pressing things to worry about today. Things that have nothing to do with the Kyuubi growing in power. 

Genma breathes in deeply and knocks on the door. 

There’s a small commotion inside the house, followed by the all too familiar sound of something breaking. An earsplitting screech echoes from somewhere on the second floor, which is more proof to Team Seven’s health than Genma is entirely certain he wanted. He doesn’t get ahold of Ebisu more often for good reasons. 

He tenses at the footsteps thundering down the stairs, but then the door opens and bright blue eyes greet him. Then Naruto’s lips twist with suspicion. 

His mouth goes dry as they both stare at each other, held at a standstill. Somehow, Genma is struggling to come up with reason for why he stayed away from this kid for as long as he did. The Sandaime’s order was part of it, of course it was, but he must not have let himself think about how Naruto looks just like Minato and Kushina. It had been too dark last night to see how those eyes are all Minato, the suspicion all Kushina, mashed together in a twelve year old’s body. 

It all seems a bit stupid now that Genma is here, instead of firmly away from Naruto like he should be. 

“Who are you?” Naruto asks slowly, like he wants to be certain that Genma understands the question. “Sakura said you’ve been standing out here for a long time.” 

I used to be friends with your parents, is what Genma almost says. I remember when your mother was pregnant with you, is what he wants to say, but the words stick in the back of his throat. There are no more orders keeping him from interacting with Naruto. That knowledge doesn’t make things easier. 

“I’m here to talk to Kakashi and Rin. Are they around?” is what Genma says instead. 

Naruto narrows his eyes. “Why should I tell you?” 

“Paranoid, are you? That’s a good thing. But I could have gotten up on the balcony and avoided this entire thing, if I wanted to.” 

The contemplation on Naruto’s face now can’t be so easily traced back to either Minato or Kushina. But both of them could be ruthless, and there are a fair number of stories about Uzumaki Mito. Not that her and Kushina were directly related. 

Or it could stem from all the things Naruto has gone through since the Exam began. This kid has been at the heart of just as many incidents as Orochimaru has now, and that’s saying something. Genma can see how Naruto managed to catch Gai’s interest back at the start of the Exam, even with a kid like Uchiha Sasuke right there. About the same amount of drive and enthusiasm as Lee, with a sprinkle of underdog to him. 

“Tell me your name first,” Naruto finally decides. 

Genma snorts, but gives in. “Shiranui Genma. That good enough for you?”

Naruto spends another long moment staring at him, before nodding and stepping back. “Kakashi-sensei isn’t here, but Rin’s upstairs. He just made tea.” 

Surprised isn’t particularly how Genma feels at the news, though he is exasperated. Kakashi isn’t the sort of person to just stick around after his flight response has been so thoroughly triggered. Yesterday feels like forever ago, but Kakashi has disappeared for weeks before. 

Genma steps inside anyways, watching as Naruto sprints up the stairs. It must be Sasuke who greets Naruto with a snarky question, and their friendly bickering sends yet another wave of nostalgia through him. 

Each step up the stairs is more difficult than the one before it, his legs heavy beneath him. Exhaustion isn’t the problem. Genma made sure to take a soldier pill a few hours back, when it became obvious that he wasn’t going to get the opportunity to sleep anytime soon. But soldier pill don’t help with emotional exhaustion or prepare him for situations like these.

By the time Genma reaches the top of the stairs, there’s a heavy weight in his gut that just won’t disappear. 

Rin spots him almost immediately, standing from the free spot on the couch. “Genma?” 

“Hey,” he says, simply. 

“You’re the one who’s been hanging around outside?” 

Genma nods and takes a long look around the room. Naruto and Sasuke are nearly a dogpile on the couch, the cause of crash from earlier a broken mug on the ground. Given the glare both of them are getting from Sakura, it wasn’t either of theirs. But there’s an easiness between them that he wouldn’t have expected from the stories Kakashi told him at Thursday pub nights. 

Putting this off longer is only going to make it more difficult. 

He looks back at Rin, his lips pursed. His fingers itch for a senbon needle to fiddle with, but they’re safely tucked away in his kunai pouch for a reason. Letting other people spread the news would be easier, but he can’t bow out now. 

A sigh escapes from his mouth, and his shoulders square themselves to Rin. “The Hokage is dead.”


	30. a better time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“The body shuts down when it has too much to bear; goes its own way quietly inside, waiting for a better time, leaving you numb and half alive.”_ -Jeanette Winterson, _The Passion_

One patrol a kilometre north of them. 

One lone guard six kilometres to the west, right outside of the village gates. 

And the better part of a small army just twenty-five kilometres to the southwest. 

Honestly, not much has changed in the last hour. Deidara had expected most everyone to stay where they were, except perhaps a couple guards changing positions. Villages tend to reduce their security the day of their Kage’s funeral to give as many shinobi as possible the chance to properly mourn, even if he hasn’t experienced it himself. Ōnoki is too much of a stubborn bastard to ever actually die. 

Except apparently not as stubborn as Deidara previously believed, if Ōnoki found the time to ask for his services in person. He’s still waiting for Kurotsuchi to come out and admit that it was all her. It makes more sense than being offered some temporary forgiveness or whatever bullshit Ōnoki fed him a few days ago. As if he doesn’t intend to go back to Iwa and blow the whole place up. 

Those are things for him to worry about in the future, though. A future where he’s successfully managed to escape from Kurotsuchi’s watchful eye. 

For now, Deidara directs the bird back to the ground, his reconnaissance over for the time being. It’s a bumpier ride than he’d prefer, but navigating through Fire Country’s forests is more of a pain than he expected. They’ve only been getting denser the closer they get to Konoha, which says a lot when the village itself is about an hour away by foot. That they got here at the same time as Suna is a small miracle.

“You were thinking about running away again, weren’t you?” comes Kurotsuchi’s steady accusation as he reaches the ground. 

Deidara jumps down and flashes her a grin. “Would you care if I was?” 

“Deidara-nii.” 

“Hey, hey, I’m just pointing out that if anyone really wanted me to stick around, they wouldn’t have stuck me with you. Just doesn’t make sense, yeah?” he points out, holding back a snicker when she scowls at him, just as intended. 

Out of everyone in Iwa, Kurotsuchi was probably the most surprised when Deidara turned against them. Not that he personally likes to think of it as betraying the village, because they all knew beforehand what his real loyalties were. A life without the ability to make satisfying artwork isn’t really a life at all. 

Her face twitches, an awkward waver of her upper lip that always happens when she’s holding herself back. Deidara almost wants to congratulate her on improving her self restraint this past year or so. The Kurotsuchi from his childhood would have immediately started pouting. She also would have chased after anything she found intriguing. 

Deidara prefers that Kurotsuchi, honestly. This one tends to act like she has a large stick shoved up her ass. 

Kurotsuchi gives in with a sigh, glancing away from him and in the direction of the incoming Suna forces. “Any changes? 

“Nope,” he says, popping the last syllable. “Suna’s army might be a few kilometres closer than they were before, yeah. Other than that, nothing too interesting. Though, we could always change that.” 

“Not a chance, Deidara-nii.” 

“C’mon, we don’t have to tell the old man how we took care of things,” he pushes. 

She takes in a deep breath, her frustration building. “How many times do I have to tell you? We weren’t sent here to take care of things. You just happen to be the best long-distance reconnaissance we have access to.” 

“Uh-huh. That’s what you keep saying, but the evidence doesn’t quite back up those facts, un.” 

They stare at each other for a long moment, before Deidara rolls his eyes and turns on his heel, continuing for Konoha. Better to be prepared closer to the village walls, even if they’ll have to be careful not to get caught by the few guards Konoha still has stationed there. Suna will have crossed the last of that distance by evening, maybe a bit longer. Then they’ll wait until morning to actually launch an attack unless they have some sort of long-distance techniques prepared. 

Information from inside Konoha suggests that Suna’s jinchūriki is within the village, though, so they probably won’t risk it. Not being able to coordinate with that sort of power would likely prove fatal for them. Which, once more, just leaves the morning.

And then Suna will be hit with a fair amount of surprise once they realize Iwa is providing support to a village who let their genin die. Deidara was surprised too, when he heard the details. Just shock for everyone, but if the old man couldn’t find a proper way to get rid of him, this is a method he would try. 

A stray root sends him stumbling forward. Deidara catches himself, just barely, then spins around to glower down at the offending object. It doesn’t so much as waver. It doesn’t do anything other than stay right where it is, still a tree root despite managing to trip him with such ease.

Light laughter fills the air. 

Deidara stops and looks up, immediately making eye contact with Kurotsuchi. That does nothing but make her laugh harder, her fingers pressed to her lips in a last ditch effort to keep it inside. 

Better to finish this impromptu mission as quickly as possible, otherwise he’ll be stuck with her, whether he likes it or not. More accurately, Deidara will be stuck going back to a village he despises, back to a place where his art is considered too high of a risk, all because of some girl who has the audacity to remind him that they’re siblings in every way other than blood.

* * *

It isn’t raining. 

Naruto stares straight ahead as someone keeps talking about the Hokage. It should be raining, by pure virtue of the fact that the Hokage is dead and they are not. Like how Sakura and Sasuke stand to his right, their expressions unclear. Like how Konohamaru stands to his left, back pressed against his side as he wipes the tears away.

His fists clench and his gaze drops to the ground. No matter what Naruto does, he can’t understand this. Everything was finally getting better. Orochimaru had been captured, the Chūnin Exam probably would have continued, him and Sakura and Sasuke were finally getting along, and now-

Now, the Hokage is dead. Orochimaru is running around the village somewhere or maybe even gone entirely. The Kyuubi hasn’t woken up since the last time they were in this graveyard. There’s no way that the Exam will continue, not after this. And then on top of all that, Rin and Kakashi-sensei haven’t so much as looked at each other over the last day. Even now, they’re carefully standing apart, Rin right behind him and Konohamaru, and Kakashi-sensei beside Sasuke. 

The way the Kyuubi’s chakra hums beneath his skin is a small consolation. There’s far more of it than Naruto really knows what to do with, or can deal with, going by the way his teeth feel a bit sharper, the way the marks on his cheeks are slightly thicker than before.

“We will remember him not just as our Hokage, but as someone who cared about everyone under his care,” the shinobi standing in front of the newly carved gravestone says. 

_Yeah, yeah,_ comes a faint, exasperated voice from the back of his mind.

Naruto inhales sharply, holding the air in his lungs as his back straightens. 

The Kyuubi doesn’t say anything else, but Naruto can feel the bijū now. The way he shifts around, adjusting himself so that his head is resting on his paws, is distinctive. Everything about the Kyuubi feels separate now. Not just more powerful than Naruto himself, but somehow more of his own person. Or maybe not a person, because Naruto is fairly certain that the Kyuubi has never been an actual person. He’s just more defined than before. 

“Naruto-kun,” Rin murmurs, lightly rest a hand on his shoulder. 

Naruto has questions. 

And they will be answered today, if it’s the last thing he does. 

“I’ve got to go,” he whispers back. It just makes Rin tighten his grip, and Naruto looks over his shoulder, Haku’s soft explanation about love and worry rushing back. “He just woke up.” 

Rin stares for a long moment, before he lets go with a slight nod. “Don’t be too harsh on him, alright?” 

Naruto gapes as the words slowly sink in, more and more questions popping up by the second. Someone telling him not to be too harsh on the Kyuubi isn’t exactly something he expected. Actually, scratch that, because that is about the very last thing Naruto thought he would hear today. Or ever, for that matter. 

All he gets for his confusion is a strained smile before Rin waves him away. He still hesitates. The shinobi who had been speaking about the Hokage is walking back into the crowd again, soon to be replaced by someone else. And Konohamaru is still standing beside him, ignorant to everything except his own tears. Naruto should really stick around for the rest of the funeral. Even thinking about the Hokage makes the backs of his eyes sting, as they have been for the better part of a day now. The emotion keeps managing to catch him by surprise.

He turns back to the gravestone, to the Hokage’s watery portrait staring back at him. A sob builds up in his chest at that same moment, but Naruto can’t bring himself to let it out.

Staying isn’t something he can do either. 

Even if the Kyuubi weren’t waking up right now, Naruto would leave. Anything to get him away from the depressing weight of the funeral, from the overwhelming knowledge that the Hokage is dead. 

Sasuke watches him as he starts to duck through the crowd, visibly hesitating. Naruto ignores him. There isn’t much else he can do, even if he does appreciate the gesture. It is as if Naruto likes leaving. If he were able, he would probably stay right by Sasuke’s side. And in some weird way, it makes him feel better to see someone questioning why he’s leaving, to see someone who wants him to stay. 

A couple other people stare as Naruto makes his way to the entrance of the graveyard. Whether it’s because he’s leaving in the middle of the Hokage’s funeral or because they know who he is, it’s impossible to tell. All Naruto knows is that he wants them to stop noticing him whatsoever. Emotion crawls up his throat like this, refusing to fade away until he stumbles down the path leading away from the graveyard and into the forest. 

It should lead to one training ground or another, but Naruto purposely veers off of it, forcing himself to go through the bushes instead. Going back can’t be too difficult. But that is just about the last thing he cares about right now. 

Naruto has no idea how long he pushes his way through the bushes for. It must be a good amount of time before he finds a small clearing, just large enough for him to sit in. Which is exactly what he does. His lungs pull in large amounts of air as he slumps against one of the trees, and it takes a few moments to realize that he’s openly sobbing now, that the desperate need for air is more than just physical exertion. 

“Shit,” he mutters to himself, reaching up to rub the tears away. 

The effort is mostly useless. All it does is soak his palms, and new tears quickly stream down his cheeks to replace the old ones.

 _Why did you care about that man, anyways?_ the Kyuubi snipes. 

“Why did _I_ care about him?” Naruto repeats back, incredulous. “He was-” 

He was almost everything to Naruto, once upon a time, but he can’t quite seem to force the explanation out of his mouth. The Kyuubi seems to understand regardless. As much as a giant monster made of chakra can understand anything, at least. 

Naruto lets out a groan, then drops his head against the tree trunk. “I should be asking you why you care, not the other way around!” 

_Who the hell gave you the impression that I cared?_

“You did!” The words echo through the small clearing and Naruto huffs, pulling his knees in tight to his chest. “You were the one who decided to stick around, instead of going back to whatever life you had before you were stuck in me.”

The Kyuubi huffs, lifting his head once more. _That had nothing to do with feelings, brat. Positive or negative. It was just a matter of strategy._

Naruto rolls his eyes. 

Strategy sounds a lot like another way of saying he cares, only just without admitting it out loud. But his indignation fades quickly. Him and the Kyuubi have never just talked to one another, not without the insults or sharp commentary. It always sounded so angry, all of it directed at him, at everyone around him, at the world itself, and Naruto didn’t really stop to wonder why. 

If the Kyuubi isn’t angry now, or at least not as angry, then there must have been some sort of explanation for his rage before. Don’t be too harsh on him, is what Rin had said before he took off. But at the same time, Naruto needs an explanation for why they needed to do what they did the other day. Maybe the two will be one and the same, only the effects of the other night are still difficult to understand. Sasuke reaches up to rub at that weird mark on his shoulder with the strangest look on his face all the time, and Sakura can rattle off information about anyone and everyone in the village. 

All of that is kind of cool, if Naruto is being honest. It’s just also a bit jarring to see how much they’ve changed, especially when he has no way of telling whether he’s also changed. He doesn’t know which way he would prefer, either. 

The Kyuubi shifts awkwardly in the back of his head, his shoulders pulled tight in a way Naruto certainly wouldn’t have noticed before. He waits, but an explanation doesn’t come. 

Don’t be too harsh on him.

Once, the Hokage had told him that hate could not be fought with hate. Naruto had brushed it off at the time, had assumed he was just being scolded for pulling a prank on some older kids at the Academy. Now, he isn’t so certain. 

“Hey,” he starts, blinking back a fresh round of tears, “what’s your name?” 

_My… name?_

He nods. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about it since what happened at the graveyard. Kyuubi doesn’t really sounds like a name to me. So, that means you have to have your own name, right?” 

The Kyuubi stays silent for a long time. 

Naruto does nothing to interrupt it for now, though. Something happened back in the graveyard that night, something other than the obvious, and something he hasn’t mentioned to Sakura or Sasuke. It didn’t really last for more than a moment, anyways. 

Just one moment of a woman with long, red hair, staring at him with a wide smile. Naruto could swear that she knelt between him and Sasuke in that moment, and reached over to touch his shoulder. If he focuses hard enough, he can even imagine her voice telling him she was proud before she blew away like she was made of smoke. 

For some reason, she felt like she could have been his mother. 

There’s no reasoning behind it, nothing concrete to say this is why she was his mother. It’s nothing more than a feeling, and a strange feeling at that. But no logic lets him forget how the urge to call her his mother had nearly filled him to the brim. 

_Kurama._

Naruto blinks, forced out of his own thoughts by the sudden insertion. “Huh?” 

The Kyuubi snarls, but it has far more bark than bite to it. _My name, brat. It’s Kurama._

“Really? I didn’t think you would actually tell me right away!” he says, sitting up straight as he pulls his gaze away from the sky overhead.

_Forget it, then!_

“Not a chance!” he shouts back.

Kurama reels backwards, and even if it’s more a feeling in his head than something happening, Naruto can still feel the water rippling around him. Like the last thing Kurama expected was for him to fight back.

“If you don’t care, Kurama,” he says, purposefully, “then why did you stick around? You could have left while we were in the graveyard. But you didn’t.” 

_As if I could just let you three die,_ Kurama grumbles, rolling his eyes. _Didn’t take much to see that you would, if I didn’t step in. You could barely deal with half of my chakra, not to mention that Shukaku has his eyes on you. Probably wouldn’t take a week. I forgot how weak you humans are._

Naruto laughs.

Just once, the sound escaping from the back of his throat, before everything hits him at once. Naruto doesn’t have the first idea who Shukaku is or why Kurama thinks they would have died without him, but the Hokage is still dead. That old man, with all of the crappy porn he kept hidden in his desk and the disgusting tea he kept trying to force on people, is gone. And Naruto didn’t even have the opportunity to save him. 

He gasps for air, a sob consuming him as he drops his head to his knees. Dead, dead, dead, is what repeats through his head, over and over until the word loses all of its meaning. Maybe the old man was always a bit too busy, and would keep scolding him for pranking civilians and shinobi alike, but for a long time, he was the closest thing Naruto had to a family. 

The Hokage will always be family to him, whether he knew it or not. 

Naruto just wishes he got the opportunity to tell him, at least once.

* * *

“Can you come back to my place?” 

Kakashi blinks, reflexively looking down at Rin. A lump forms in the back of his throat as the realization that this is the first time they’ve made eye contact since - since he ran away creeps up on him. Even the handful of words they’ve exchanged didn’t go that far. And yet, he still finds himself nodding in agreement. 

Only Naruto and Sasuke are going back to Rin’s house, but Kakashi would prefer to stick around regardless, now that the threat of an invasion is hanging over their heads. Sakura’s parents had refused the offer. Of course, hearing about how Sakura ran off to create the fireworks display of the Kyuubi’s chakra with an injured teammate had done little to ease their worries. And pointing out that Sakura is technically an adult in her own right stopped the rest of the conversation in its tracks. 

But Kakashi had been doing a good job of avoiding eye contact up until now. 

Now, he can no longer deny that Rin looks exhausted. Not in the sense that everyone is exhausted from the non-stop trouble these past couple weeks, the physical and mental stress wringing everything out of them. Rin has no bags under his eyes, no awkward slouch to repeatedly overcorrect. Rather, it almost looks as if he had expected something like this. 

“We should probably talk,” Rin adds, absentmindedly. 

Right.

Talk. 

A normal thing that normal people do. Even people who leaned over to kiss someone in the middle of an important conversation just two days ago.

Kakashi turns on his heel, the need to flee the graveyard as quickly as possible nearly bursting from him. Neither of them have the time or emotional capacity to deal with this right now. And the other people lingering behind with the end of the funeral shouldn’t have to deal with it either. It would actually be better for everyone concerned if they both forgot it entirely. 

A tight grip on his arm stops him in his tracks. Kakashi half heartedly attempts to pull away, but Rin doesn’t let his grip soften even a bit, unwilling to let him go just yet. His heartbeat quickens and he struggles to keep the panic off of his face. Which would have been a lot more effective if Kakashi didn’t spot Sakura pause in her conversation to glance towards him. Much to his relief, Ino is quick to capture her attention once more. 

“Look, I get it,” Rin snaps, his voice low enough as to not attract the attention of anyone else. “You don’t want to deal with things. It’s terrifying, because emotions are involved. But Team Seven is yours, whether you want them to be or not.” 

Kakashi hesitates, briefly taken aback. “Team Seven.” 

“Yeah, Naruto and Sasuke and Sakura. There’s probably a bunch of other stuff as well, but that’s all going to have to wait until we’re back at my place.” 

His mind draws a large blank. Every possible explanation there could be for Team Seven’s involvement in his own screw ups falls short. They should be fine. They’ve been acting fine, despite whatever happened a few nights ago. Except that the look Rin is giving him suggests that this isn’t actually the case. 

It takes a few moments, but Rin softens and sighs. “I know what happened to your genin team.” 

Kakashi jerks backwards. 

This time, he successfully pulls his arm from Rin’s grasp, but the urge to flee has already dwindled away to nothing. Too much emotion had been packed into that simple sentence. 

Only, it wasn’t a simple sentence. How could it be when Kakashi is already speeding through a dozen more conclusions he didn’t want to come to? He thought he had accepted the whole time travel thing when Rin explained it to him. 

But that had been the most basic acceptance. Kakashi knows what Rin looks like when he’s lying, has seen it over and over again these last few months. When Rin talked about time travel and about whatever unbelievable life he had lived before coming to Konoha, he hadn’t been lying. And Rin doesn’t look like he’s lying now. 

That is an entirely different type of conclusion than that Rin travelled through time.

One Kakashi isn’t entirely certain he understands yet. 

All he knows is that Rin must have some reason for knowing about his genin team. Which mean he likely heard it from Kakashi himself or someone connected to Kakashi, in some strange future that no longer exists. 

“You knew about the Hokage as well,” Kakashi says, quietly. 

Rin hesitates, then shakes his head. “I didn’t - it wasn’t supposed to happen. I changed things and it… when I lived through all of this the first time, it didn’t happen like this.” 

“But.”

“I wasn’t going to let him die again,” Rin whispers, pain deeply etched into his face, even as he looks away. “But it didn’t happen for another month in my time, and he - I… Everything has already changed so much.” 

This is what made him kiss Rin the last time around, Kakashi notes, oddly detached from the situation unfolding in front of him. It seems sadistic now, with everyone standing a short distance away, consumed in their own memories of the Hokage. They haven’t realized that Rin is crumpling forwards from anything other than grief. Well, in a way, it is from grief. Grief, deeply mixed with regret, and that is a feeling that Kakashi knows all too well. 

It probably isn’t sadism, then. His stomach sinks as the realization comes, unwanted, now that the desire to lean over once more is nearly too much to ignore. Not sadism, because Kakashi simply understands these emotions. He understands the pain, the regret, the horror of seeing everyone he cares about dead and abandoned. Only instead of becoming broken and detached from the rest of the world, Rin still manages to greet him with a genuine smile almost every morning. 

He probably saw Kakashi’s corpse, once upon a time.

“Ah.” 

Rin looks up, blinking a bit too often as his tears nearly spill over onto his cheeks. “Huh?” 

There’s nothing else to say.

At least, not anything that would make the situation better. Kakashi is already reaching out for Rin, determined to do the right thing this time around. 

Right, as in pull Rin in close to him, rather than jump straight to kissing him. And that is exactly what Kakashi does, his arms awkwardly placed around Rin as a head collides with his shoulder. Rin inhales sharply at the contact, but his hands slowly reach around and up to tangle in the back of Kakashi’s shirt. 

It isn’t comfortable. Kakashi thought it would be, that the relief of physical contact would drown out the tense press of someone else against him. Maybe that was a fantasy, borne of thoughts of time travel and worldwide death. He doesn’t even know how long it’s been since Rin arrived in this reality, in this time. Whichever it is. But warm relief does override the awkwardness, if that were even enough reason to pull away in the first place. 

Kakashi has probably wanted to do this for a long time, now that he’s been forced to face the reality of it. 

That should make him feel angry, rather than relieved. Rin managed to worm his way into Kakashi’s life with so little effort. At least with Team Seven, Kakashi could ignore the fact that they made him care about them, by virtue of being assigned to be their jounin sensei. Things were supposed to be easier that way, rather than more difficult. 

Kakashi sighs, squeezing his eyes shut before he can see Sakura and Ino snickering to each other as they stare at them. “I suppose we should gather the children soon, then. Since none of them are capable of staying out of trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coda: 
> 
> Sasuke watches Naruto leave from the corner of his eye, frowning. Something seemed wrong, wrong beyond the words of some shinobi or another washing over them without meaning. If nothing else, he shouldn't let Naruto take off by himself. Missing the rest of the funeral will be fine, so long as he makes sure that Naruto is-
> 
> A tug at his sleeve interrupts his thoughts. Sasuke slowly looks down, a sense of horror overcoming him. 
> 
> Konohamaru isn't looking at him. Konohamaru isn't doing anything except staring ahead as tears and snot streams down his face, his grip on Sasuke's shirt firm. Sasuke doesn't have the slightest idea what he's supposed to do with a crying child, but the intention to flee drains out of him as he resigns himself to doing - something. Probably. At the very least, he will stand here and pretend he knows how to help.


	31. courage to be gentle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“If you have been brutally broken, but still have the courage to be gentle to others then you deserve a love deeper than the ocean itself.”_ -Nikita Gill

“Take that back!” 

Rin grimaces at the loud shriek that echoes across the graveyard, startling him into stepping out of Kakashi’s awkward hold. 

Heat is still gathered around his shoulder as he looks around to search for the cause of the shouting. Other people are as well, their quiet conversations interrupted. His gaze settles on the problem easily enough though, his frown only growing when he recognizes Ino and Sakura. 

Sakura recovers from having her hair pulled easily enough, pink strands still in Ino’s grasp, and lunges forwards. They teeter between stable and unstable for a split second, before the momentum sends both of them crashing to the ground. Anyone looking at them would not guess that they were attending a funeral just a few short minutes ago. 

Not that either of them seem to notice. Whether or not they even know why they’re arguing is beyond Rin, although they could have been set off by absolutely anything. Rin swallows back the dry lump in his throat, left over from the sudden physical contact, and meets Inoichi’s gaze. Personally, he’s more concerned over how resigned Inoichi appears over the scuffle, more than the scuffle itself.

The fight is something the Hokage would probably appreciate in his own way, actually. He cared so much about this next generation of shinobi that seeing their resilience in the face of tragedy would have brightened his day. 

If this isn’t enough to turn them jaded, then there can be more hope for the future. Rin smiles, just the smallest upturn of his lips, then glances forwards again. Kakashi is still standing in front of him, now with an amused crook to his eyebrow, rather than the blank expression he wore a few moments ago.

Another screech makes Rin’s smile freeze in place, and he doesn’t have to look back over to know that Ino just flipped their positions. 

“Not a chance in hell, Billboard Brow!” 

Sakura’s answering grin is downright bloodthirsty, no hesitation before she knocks their foreheads together. “Just admit that I’m stronger than Sasuke.” 

Huh.

“Incoming,” Kakashi mutters, his voice rough. 

Rin blinks, barely managing to stop himself from physically flailing at the sound of it, but Kakashi just tilts his head to the left. 

His gaze follows the gesture. First along the curve of Kakashi’s mask-covered jaw, then further out to where Genma and Gai have been engaged in conversation since the funeral ended. 

The blood drains from his face at the sight of Anko making her way straight for the girls. Her arm is still stuck in a sling from their run-in with Orochimaru, but considering that a handicap would discredit both her abilities and her wide smirk. Danger radiates from the expression, chilling in a way that Rin has no desire to examine. His gaze slides past her and meets Inoichi’s once more, a moment of understanding passing between them. 

“You take the right, I’ll take the left,” Kakashi says under his breath. 

Rin inclines his chin. “Inoichi can be the distraction.” 

Kakashi slowly exhales with what might be laughter, but he starts to move before Rin can think too deeply about it. 

Sure enough, Inoichi swiftly cuts Anko off by asking her something or another. The exact words get drowned out by another loud shout from one of the girls. Anko does not take the bait, instead almost more excited by the hysterical laughter threaded through the shout, her attention entirely on the fight. 

Only Inoichi placing a hand on her uninjured shoulder gives him and Kakashi enough time to get to Ino and Sakura first. They exchange a calculting look. Then in unison, Rin goes for Sakura as Kakashi lunges for Ino, physically tearing them apart. 

A heel makes immediate contact with his knee, almost making him lose his grip on her. But Rin matches her flailing with his experience, grunting slightly when he gets an elbow to the side next. After a few, long moments, Sakura goes limp in his arms, the fight seemingly drained out of her. Or she could have spotted Ino precariously balanced on Kakashi’s shoulder, pounding away at his back. 

“Rin,” Sakura whines at him, “I need to show Ino-pig that I’m not nearly as weak as she thinks I am!” 

Rin glances back at Ino, the situation slowly coming together, and opens his mouth. The words die almost immediately, and he sighs. It isn’t as if Sakura will believe him, at any rate. 

She exhales sharply and attempts to twist around to look at him. “Rin?” 

“Did Ino ever say that she thought you were weak?” he asks, carefully. 

“Of course she did!” 

The outrage in her voice seems far greater than necessary. Ino’s angry thrashing fades to nothing at that exact moment, although Rin has no idea if it’s because she finally gave up or if she heard what Sakura just said. If he has any choice in this, he would prefer to stay far away from whatever pseudo-rivalry they have. 

Hopefully, he does have that choice. 

“Good spirit!” 

Rin freezes in place. 

A quick look over Kakashi’s shoulder confirms the exasperation clearly written across Inoichi’s face, but Anko still does not disappear from between him and Kakashi. The grin she wears is downright predatory as she glances between Sakura and Ino. Rin lets Sakura drop to the ground with a roll of his eyes. 

Even if Sakura were still angry, she’s now far too busy watching Anko suspiciously to go after Ino again. It’s somehow worse than the alternative, because it means Anko has a chance of achieving whatever she’s after. Probably the same desire to teach kunoichi to fight as recklessly and flamboyantly as she does that made Kurenai ban her from talking to Team Eight. 

“I mean, the form was a little lacking,” Anko continues, brightly. “And I’m sure the two of you could have mustered up a bit of killing spirit if you tried. But you still did well for beginners.” 

Sakura tenses. “Beginners?” 

“Beginners.” 

“But-” 

“You know what? I _have_ been a bit bored since Kurenai-senpai stopped letting me hang around her team-” 

“Don’t you think there was a reason for that?” Kakashi cuts in, dryly. 

Anko just continues on as if Kakashi had never said a word. “-and they tell me that I should stay away from active duty for the next month or so. Which opens my schedule right up to take on a couple students. You two would just happen to be the perfect candidates, as well!” 

“This is neither the time nor the place to discuss mentorships,” Inoichi says, sounding exhausted as he steps forward to join their conversation. 

“Well, this conversation can always wait for later. Just because they’ve cancelled the Chūnin Exam doesn’t mean that these two lovely girls won’t need a mentor soon!” 

Rin stops paying attention to their conversation. 

His attention has been captured by Naruto finally wandering back towards them. Alone time can be a good thing, even more so after something like this - like seeing the one adult Naruto has always had dead. Rin just hadn’t known whether he should search for Naruto regardless, especially if Kurama had finally woken up. 

The awkward slump of Naruto’s shoulder and his downcast gaze prevents Rin from gauging the extent of his pain, though. At least, right up until Sasuke falls in line beside him, bumping their shoulders together with enough force to nearly knock Naruto over. It sends Naruto stumbling to the side, his arms flailing in every direction. Their arguing can almost be heard from here, the familiar yet aggressive terms of endearment making Rin sigh in relief. 

Then Naruto looks over, grinning as their eyes meet. It isn’t nearly as bright as it normally is, and Rin can see the touch of swelling there, but it’s better than he thought it would be. Guilt can be overwhelming at the worst of times. 

Rin takes in a deep breath and turns back towards Kakashi. “I think it’s time to go home now.” 

“Has the last of our cute children come wandering back?” Kakashi asks, lightly. 

“Yeah.” Rin holds back a laugh as Inoichi launches into a list of reasons why Anko should never be Ino’s teacher. “You coming with us?” 

Kakashi hesitates, just briefly glancing over his shoulder at Naruto, before nodding. “I suppose I should rescue you from having your house destroyed.”

* * *

Jiraiya hates admitting it, but ANBU masks have always bothered him. They lack as much expression as anything possibly could, right up to and including the ANBU shinobi wearing the masks. 

This ANBU seems to follow the expectations of their mask perfectly. At least, they haven’t responded to a single comment that Jiraiya has made these past couple days, regardless of how depressing or teasing it’s been. He hasn’t gone too far, at least not to the point of mocking everything the ANBU has done, but the urge keeps growing. Even the vaguest acknowledgement would be better than this. 

Not really, but Jiraiya can still hope.

Just like he can hope that continuing down this hall won’t bring him closer to some damned meeting with the Council. Hiruzen has hardly been in the ground for an hour. That much should be respected, even if Orochimaru was the one to put him there, even if they have an army on their doorstep. If Jiraiya can’t hold onto that, then they still should not be requesting the presence of a non-Konoha shinobi, particularly not one who couldn’t manage to pry a single word out of Orochimaru to begin with.

The ANBU opens a door for him, seemingly oblivious to Jiraiya gritting his teeth into a thankful smile. He steps inside, and the last of his hopes are destroyed as he takes in the room’s occupants. 

Homura and Koharu stare back at him, their faces grim. 

Jiraiya waits for a heartbeat, then turns on his heel, entirely unsurprised when the ANBU stands in his way. Not that it stops him from attempting to push them away, subtlety escaping him. The ANBU does not so much as budge.

Homura breaks the silence first with a sigh filled with enough exasperation to disillusion a small village. “Would you please sit down, Jiraiya? There is a lot for us to discuss, and it will happen much faster if you cooperate.” 

“I’d like to see anyone try and stop me,” Jiraiya mutters.

But the comment is for posterity’s sake, rather than actual resistance. The grip the ANBU has on his wrist is tight, and the last thing Konoha needs is more trouble on its doorstep. 

Besides, like or not, he can’t just leave. 

Konoha has changed a lot since he last considered himself one of its shinobi, but Hiruzen will always be his sensei. And the last thing Hiruzen would have wanted is for Jiraiya to abandon Konoha in its time of need. That would go far beyond his refusal to associate himself with the village. 

Jiraiya jerks his wrist from the ANBU’s grasp and turns back to face Homura and Koharu. A seat has already been pulled out for him, a table carefully placed between it and the two of them. These preventative measures reek of Tobirama’s tutelage, even if Jiraiya technically only met the man once or twice before he died. Nobody from his generation would forget the implementation of the Academy or the tense atmosphere that came during attempted negotiations. 

The truth of the matter is that neither Hiruzen or Tobirama have a seat at this table, just as they no longer have a say in Konoha’s future. Whether or not either of these stuffy bastards have put that together is another story. 

Their expressions don’t change as he slowly sits. His arms come forward to rest on the table, to allow himself to lean forward without the familiar pain in his back. Feigning disinterest to get information has never been his forte, not like it had been Orochimaru’s. 

A bitter taste fills his mouth. “Just what are the two of you planning?” 

They exchange a long look that tells him absolutely nothing. Emotions are never displayed with the older generations. Even his own was better at it, although nothing compared to the kids now.

“Planning implies something above and beyond our roles here,” Homura says, simply. 

“What was certainly his intent to begin with.” Calm has never been Koharu’s strength, and her steady gaze meets his own. “However, Konoha needs a Hokage. And our job to provide one.”

Jiraiya snorts. “Is that what this is about?” 

“Of course. Unless you thought we would call you here for another reason.” 

“Oh, I don’t know. It’s not like my former teammate may be running around the village right this very moment, apparently chalk full of murderous rage.” The bitter taste only grows as Jiraiya watches them, unaffected by the jab. “Don’t you plan on doing something about that?”

Homura sighs once more. “Jiraiya.” 

“I mean it! Orochimaru broke out of his cell, made it across the village and to Hiruzen’s office, then murdered him. Isn’t that at least somewhat important?” Jiraiya snaps. 

“We have reason to believe that Orochimaru has already escaped from the village.” The simple sentence makes Jiraiya stop, his back straightening as he stares at Homura with a grim frown. “Konoha has no trail to follow and no resources to track him. After the current situation has been dealt with, we can and will devote our time and resources to hunting down Orochimaru. But only after.” 

His fists clench and unclench, slow and purposeful.

It does not calm him, not when his former teammate has disappeared once more. Not after everything Orochimaru has done. Jiraiya closes his eyes in one last desperate attempt to regain his composure. Homura and Koharu will still be here when he opens them again, probably still staring at him with that creepy, blank expression. 

One of the first things he taught himself after leaving Konoha was to notice things that are missing. Noticing when and what people leave out can be easier than figuring out when they’re lying, at least for shinobi. And Jiraiya has needed a lot of information from shinobi, considering who he’s been gathering information on. The Elders have experience, naturally. But their goals haven’t changed in decades, not even close to the Akatsuki. 

Koharu pointedly exhales. “There is no time for these emotional displays, Jiraiya. Orochimaru will be found, but in the meantime-” 

“Where’s Danzō?” Jiraiya asks, opening his eyes again.

“Danzō?” 

“You lot have always valued his opinion, even after the stuff with him and Orochimaru came to light.” Neither of them respond, which is more than enough reason to keep pushing. “Shouldn’t he be here, if you’re looking for a new Hokage?” 

Koharu scowls, sparing a split second to glance at Homura. “Given a potential overlap of interests, he is at his residence, being watched over by an ANBU guard.” 

“Potential overlap of interests?” His voice gets louder with each word. “What sort of bullshit is that?” 

“I assure you that it is not bullshit.” 

“Koharu,” Homura interjects, his face set. “I think it’s time for us to be blunt. Otherwise this conversation will go nowhere.” 

“One has to get a word in before they can lay down their intentions,” Koharu mutters, but it appears to be more for integrity’s sake. Stubborn, is what Hiruzen would have fondly called her, although not since many years before the whole mess with Orochimaru began. 

Jiraiya stays silent as Homura sighs and levels his gaze. “We want you to stand in as Hokage.” 

He laughs. It is not kind, by any means. “Not a chance.” 

“You say that as if we like this any more than you do,” Homura says, no small amount of bitterness to his words. “But the simple truth is that we don’t have a choice.” 

“Anyone else would be better.” 

“We don’t have the time to find someone else.” 

Jiraiya narrows his eyes and prepares to stand. Within a moment, a hand is on his shoulder, keeping him firmly seated. 

Damn, he’d forgotten about the ANBU. 

A glance over his shoulder brings him face to face with that expressionless mask, framed with orange hair. It’s unnerving how the ANBU doesn’t so much as tilt their head to the side. Nothing gives them away, the colour of their hair uncommon for any Konoha clan, but not enough to make them stand out. An ideal soldier for their line of work. 

Their presence serves as both a threat and a reminder. Jiraiya can defeat a single ANBU, even Homura and Koharu in their old age, but that will mark him as an enemy of Konoha. It doesn’t matter if leaving is for the betterment of Konoha. He’s stuck in this room until he hears the conditions in full. He settles back into his seat, and the ANBU moves their hand. 

“Fine,” he spits out, “let me hear it.” 

Koharu wears a hint of a smile. “Only the Sannin have enough prestige and power to prevent future assaults on Konoha, given the way Hiruzen died. Orochimaru is clearly out of the question, and even if we knew Tsunade’s whereabouts, Suna would invade us long before we got to her.” 

Jiraiya frowns, filling in the gaps easily enough. “Which leaves me. Even though you’d prefer anyone else to wear the hat.” 

“That, I believe, is something all three of us agree on,” Homura reminds him.

“Still not happening. Someone else can do it.” 

“Then Danzō will be the next Hokage,” is what comes out of his mouth next. Jiraiya’s breath catches with the realization that he’s just walked straight into their trap. “We’ve already discussed this course of action with him, and he’s agreed.” 

“Him?” Jiraiya snaps. 

If Koharu’s gaze were filled with anymore contempt, she would full out rolling her eyes at him. “Yes, him. Who else would fill the role?” 

“Anyone could put on the hat and be a better Hokage than he would! What about Hatake-”

“Too emotionally unstable,” she counters. 

“Shikaku-” 

“Already has his hands full as jounin commander.” 

“Tsume-” 

“Would decline. Without hesitation, in fact.” 

“Shibi-” 

“Does not have the required charisma to be an effective leader.” 

No one stops him from standing this time around, and he slams his hands down on the table as he does so. “Then for fuck’s sake, put _Gai_ in charge!” 

Homura and Koharu exchange a meaningful look, but Homura is the one to speak next, as hesitant as could be. “We did briefly consider that option. However, the conclusion we came to was that, despite his abilities and charisma, the other villages would not take him seriously.” 

“You really won’t consider anyone else, will you?” Jiraiya slowly asks. “Just me and Danzō.” 

“That is what we’ve been saying, yes,” Homura agrees.

Him or Danzō.

Danzō or him. 

His decision becomes a lot easier when his options are narrowed down like this. Maybe Hiruzen would have trusted Danzō, but Jiraiya most certainly does not. He just barely caught the tail-end of that business with the indoctrinated child shinobi, the hidden members of ROOT, and it made him sick to his stomach. Someone who thinks that experimenting on children is alright should never be in charge of a village. 

Maybe the choice isn’t really between him and Danzō, but between Danzō and the Konoha that Jiraiya has always believed in.

“Only until Suna retreats,” Jiraiya declares.

Koharu nods, easily and without hesitation. “That would have always been a condition. Along with finding Tsunade-hime afterwards.” 

“To make sure she comes back.” 

It isn’t a question, but Homura still answers, “Someone has to.” 

Jiraiya lets out a long breath, before he turns for the door. Even one more moment in their presence will be too much. 

The ANBU opens the door for him once more, a clearer dismissal than anything Koharu or Homura give him. Stepping out of the small room is like stepping into an entirely new universe. The Academy halls are the same as always, but something feels inherently different about them, like the paint on the walls is just a slightly different colour than he’s always known it to be.

Moments like these always make Jiraiya feels as if the actual fabric of existence has changed around him, though. This is hardly the first time. Hopefully, it will be the last. He’s far too old to be changing his views on the world again now. 

“You going to keep following me around?” Jiraiya asks as he turns the corner. There is at least one bathhouse in this village that’s calling his name, and he has absolutely no intentions of ignoring that call. He no longer has any luck in this aspect of his life, so perhaps in terms of women, he will. 

His otherwise silent shadow does not hesitate, their voice cool and emotionless. “Those are my orders, Hokage-sama.” 

“Damn, that sounds weird. Don’t call me that if you have any intentions of sticking around, alright?” 

“Very well, Jiraiya-sama.” 

“Not that either.” Jiraiya glances over, and hesitates. “Actually, you know what? Go for that one. Someone should acknowledge my skill.”

* * *

Sakura lets her bedroom door slam behind her, even as it cuts off the last of her mother’s nagging commentary. The room smells stale from being unoccupied for nearly an entire week, but she doesn’t let that stop her from collapsing onto her bed and burying her face into her pillow.

This would be so much easier if she weren’t alone. Just two nights of sharing a bed with Naruto and Sasuke, and now she craves their body heat radiating from either side of her. 

Two nights.

She exhales slowly. It feels like so much longer than that. And even then she spent most of the day after extracting the Kyuubi’s chakra asleep. 

But then again, the last time Sakura slept in this bed very well could have been years ago. It hasn’t been, not even close. The Chūnin Exam just started a week ago, no matter how much has changed since then. Started and finished, only for the worst possible reasons. Her entire perception of bad has changed so much this past week from all of the confusion, the fighting, from being used as a conduit for the Kyuubi’s chakra before it poured into Naruto. 

The change in her mother’s chakra is clear before soft footsteps can be heard coming up the stairs. Picking up on it is more difficult in a way, but easier in others. Sakura has to focus to tell how much chakra each of her parents has. And yet their emotions are all but forced onto her.

Worry has been forced on Sakura ever since she got back home, suffocating her just as much as the tight hug she had been pulled into. Both of her parents had been so urgent to tell her how frantic they had been. Neither of them had realized that she already knew, that she could feel that truth written into their very being. Being around her team and Rin was so much easier in that regard.

A knock from the door grabs her attention and Sakura rolls onto her side with a huff. “I just want to be left alone!” she shouts. 

Hurt.

Her mother feels hurt, almost to the point where it overtakes her worry. “You are okay, aren’t you?” she asks from the other side of the door. “Nothing happened during or after the Exam that your father and I need to know about?”

“No!” 

“Sakura…”

Sakura sighs. “I’m telling the truth. I just need to sleep.” 

The hurt washes away a bit, like leaves being blown away by the wind. What it does is let her mother feel a bit of relief before she says a brief good night, not bothering to wonder if Sakura lied. All of this is just too easy. Even Sasuke would have called her out on a lie that blatant, and he tends to avoid as much evidence of emotions as he possibly can. 

Having a floor between her and her parents helps with the awkward press of their chakra, of their emotions. Sakura rolls onto her back and stares up at the ceiling. 

For a few hours, she had almost forgotten what other people’s chakra felt like. 

Her eyes close as she focuses in on them. Naruto comes first, only because his chakra is bigger and brighter than any other chakra in the village. If other people could see it the way she now can, they would probably mistake it for the sun with how blinding it is. Sakura laughs softly to herself. It suits him in his own way, even if most of that chakra is actually from the Kyuubi. 

Next comes Sasuke, what with how close to Naruto he is. It mostly just feels calm to her. Calm with an undercurrent of rage and guilt, like Sasuke is a bay along the ocean and there’s a storm just outside its waters. It’s about as far from what she expected as it could be. 

He’s still her teammate though.

And both her and Naruto will do whatever they can to calm those waters. 

Sakura glosses over Rin and Kakashi, glosses over the rest of the village until she can pick out the bubbling chakra that could only belong to Ino. It takes her a brief second to recognize the surge of irritation as her own, rather than Ino’s. One snide comment about Sasuke becoming as broad as Rin in a few years was all it took for her to lose it. She does even know how it turned to her own strength from there. Just that it did and Ino was right there and lunging at her had been her first response.

But for now, Ino feels giddy, somehow. Giddy and lighthearted, enough so that Sakura can’t help her own curiosity at what exactly could have made Ino feel that way. 

Something catches in the back of her throat and her curiosity shrivels up and dies. 

Naruto still has the brightest chakra in the village. But something just became a close second, pressing down around her, discouraging her from running. 

Sakura all but throws herself off of her bed, scrambling for the practical clothes of her shinobi outfit. Chakra like that could only belong to one person, someone she had managed to forget about these last few days. Getting to Naruto and Sasuke will take too long. 

Which means she will just have to stop Gaara herself.


	32. the greatest disease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“From the very beginning, you are told to compare yourself with others. This is the greatest disease; it is like a cancer that goes on destroying your very soul because each individual is unique, and comparison is not possible.”_ -Osho

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that there will be more Rin/Kakashi and Team Seven next chapter! Just needed to move the larger plot along a touch.

Orochimaru forces a polite smile across his face as he stares across the clearing. 

The man in the orange mask doesn’t seem to notice, still rocking back and forth from his heels to the balls of his feet, arms behind him. For someone lurking through the forests outside Konoha, the man is competent at pretending he belongs here. 

But the problem is not that Orochimaru doesn’t know him. Nor is it really a problem that someone managed to find him here, when for all intents and purposes, the assumption should be that he is still in Konoha. 

First of all, Orochimaru does know this man. The black and red cloak is an indicator in itself, but they have also met on a couple occasions, though they hardly exchanged more than a couple words. Akatsuki is a far-reaching organization with long term goals. Having members outside of the core group is common sense in that context, something that he has always known to be true. Not that he took the time to remember his name after their first introduction. 

In all honesty, Orochimaru should have expected to see a member of the Akatsuki in the near future. Pein will not stand for his precious jinchūriki being harmed before it lines up with his goals. Always going on about the Kyuubi this and the Shukaku that, when it’s all just motions towards some larger goal that Orochimaru had never been privy to or particularly interested in. 

“Is there something you wanted?” he asks, finally breaking the silence. 

If the Akatsuki member had not been wearing that obnoxious mask of his, Orochimaru might say that he just brought their staring match to a close. 

“Oh, Orochimaru-kun!” the man in the orange mask cries out, his reaction a touch delayed.

That would likely be why Orochimaru put no effort into remembering his name. 

He slowly blinks. The throb of the handprint burned into his side makes it difficult to think, as helpful as a moment of mock contemplation is. “Have we met before?” 

The Akatsuki member instantaneously deflates, the motion exaggerated. “You don’t recognize me?” 

“Clearly not.” 

“Ah.” The man picks himself back up again, his mood switching back to high in the span of a heartbeat. “That just gives me the chance to introduce myself again! My name is Tobi and I’m the newest member of the Akatsuki. The two of us have worked together a few times before, actually!” 

“Really? Well, if that’s the case, then would you care to explain what you’re doing here?” Orochimaru asks, lightly. “If you don’t recall, the Akatsuki and I have broken ways.” 

There is a high chance that he would find some amusement in this nonsensical conversation if he were in less pain at the moment. Ripping information from this fake persona with his obviously false name would induce some level of enjoyment, at the very least.

In his humble opinion, this last day and a half has already served well at destroying his expectations of the world. His capture itself was inevitable, given his state after transferring the curse seal over to Sasuke. Enough time in a cell will convince anyone of that. Though he could have predicted Jiraiya’s presence on the other side of his cell door years ago, because Jiraiya has been prone to needless sentiment since they were children. 

But Danzō showing up and setting him free was not something Orochimaru could have predicted. It is the only reason he’s standing here, with mud soaking the thin robes he was given. However, it is also the only reason he caught a glimpse into the deeper machinations of Konoha politics. Danzō should count himself lucky that Orochimaru did not attempt to cut his throat right then and there, particularly after the comment about him being a wild goose for Konoha to chase. 

It had not been a confession by any stretch of the word, but the implications had not gone over his head upon hearing of Sarutobi’s death. 

The death itself is not something Orochimaru feels particularly negatively about. However, the implication that he would sneak into Sarutobi’s office in the dead of night, rather than out in the open where the entirety of Konoha could see, is insulting. 

For that, Orochimaru will put Danzō’s head on a spike. 

Tobi waves a hand in front of his face, suddenly less than a meter away, and the wide trees surrounding them snap back into focus. 

Orochimaru stares back and raises his eyebrow as Tobi pulls back once more. Giggles fill the forest around them, oddly reminiscent of a prepubescent girl. The native bird population had gone silent a long while back, but that would have made them flee the premises in flocks. 

A brief glimpse into the hole in that orange mask had shown him a tinge of red. An odd eye colour, even among shinobi, and one that raises more questions than Orochimaru cares to ask. He has better things to do with his time than poke into the identity of Akatsuki members. Even Kabuto’s abrupt disappearance ranks higher on his list of concerns. 

He sighs, lightly. “Do you intend on explaining yourself or not?” 

“Sorry, sorry!” Tobi’s voice rings out, despite the inquisitive tilt of his head. “You just didn’t seem to be paying attention, so I was waiting.” 

“And now I am paying attention, as loathe as I am to admit it.” 

“You’re really one of a kind, aren’t you, Orochimaru-kun? Anyways! Pein-sama probably wants to know why you aren’t going back to lead Suna’s forces,” Tobi muses, as if his words are nothing more than a simple inquiry. 

Interesting. 

Orochimaru had been under the impression that only a select few were aware of his alliance with Suna. Even on Rasa’s side of their arrangement, only a handful of jounin had been informed of the full details of the invasion. Akatsuki has an extensive spy network, yes, but this is more than that. 

“Watching something crumble is more appealing than walking through its abandoned ruins. Were I to join Suna now, Konoha would be the latter, not the former,” Orochimaru informs him as he steps purposely to the side.

Tobi follows. “Really? I shouldn’t have bet Sasori-kun that you’d kill that old apprentice of yours yourself then!” 

“Apprentice?” 

The words slips out, unwanted. There is still a smile on his face and his tone is still artificially light, meant to misdirect rather than press further. His time with the Akatsuki was more than enough for him, after all. 

Their goals have never aligned well. 

This is just yet another example of that. 

“Yeah, your apprentice! Hmm, what was her name again? I think it started with an… A, but those things are always difficult to remember. I can’t believe Sasori was right when he said you wouldn’t care if she was dead or alive, though!” Tobi continues, his shoulders slumping with that over-exaggerated dejection once more. 

“Why would I?” he asks, his tone dropping, “She is an old experiment, nothing more and nothing less. More concerning is this little conversation you and Sasori were having without me.”

Tobi tilts his head and taps his mask with a gloved finger. “Don’t worry about that, Orochimaru-kun! Sasori-kun just thought he would see you in Konoha, but I guess he was wrong about that.” 

His back straightens in preparation for an attack. The only time that Sasori would engage in conversation with Tobi is if it were to insult him. Perhaps he would threaten the menace once or twice before actually murdering, all depending on which puppet he was working on at the time.

Orochimaru is by no means a stupid man. Sentimentality and idiocy have always been reserved for Jiraiya, and on occasion, Tsunade. A stupid man is what he would have to be to not recognize what Tobi is truly attempting to tell him. Sasori is in Konoha, perhaps directly watching over Anko, but more likely expanding his spy network as he awaits the order to kill her. All of that rests on whether he agrees to join Suna and see over Konoha’s destruction personally.

He laughs, the corner of his mouth twisting into an amused smirk. “Tell Pein that his threat is misplaced.” 

Tobi pauses. “Huh?” 

“My days of helping him achieve his goals are long over. I have no intention of helping Suna with my own aims already reached.” 

“Oh, I see!” 

And just like that, Tobi blinks out of existence entirely, leaving Orochimaru alone in the forest once more. His shoulders relax as he presses a hand to his side and forces himself not to contemplate the mechanics of that disappearance. 

Those are questions that can come another time. Time-space jutsu are not mastered so easily, but for now, his injuries from his fight with Uzumaki take precedence, along with returning to his closest base. Not that he particularly enjoys putting off intellectual inquiries, regardless of the situation.

Besides, if Anko cannot manage to survive a run-in with Sasori, then he will be quite disappointed in her tenacity. She should be able to counter his poisons, so long as her tolerance to them is as fascinating as it’s always been.

* * *

“Everything is prepared for the possibility of a surprise visit to my home, correct?” 

He inhales gently as the logistics go through his head once more. “Yes, Danzō-sama.” 

Danzō continues walking along the well-worn path, his gaze focused ahead. The possibility of him lying does not seem to occur to Danzō, although that point is moot. Attempting to lie would be dangerous to both of them, and a response not worthy of a ROOT agent. 

It is still a possibility that appears to occur to Danzō more often than not. 

Tonight is likely just the exception to that rule. Danzō has seemed distracted ever since he was found stumbling into the Shimura estate two nights ago, requiring immediate medical attention. Even now, with the bandages along his side well covered and the bruises littering his entire body hidden, he looks towards the future, rather than lingering in the past. Yet another thing that makes Danzō the only one consistently working towards the good of the village.

That phrase in itself - for the good of the village - is something that he has been turning over in his head since Danzō briefly mentioned it to him several years ago. The exact circumstances have long-since left him, but that phrase has not. Yet, the good of the village seems objective when they’re entering negotiations with Suna without informing the Hokage first. But he is not about to question Danzō. 

Questioning Danzō is not his role. 

After all, a nameless person cannot change so much when thrust into the daylight. The day-to-day running of Konoha will always be beyond a person like him, regardless of what him and Shin used to talk about. 

His eyebrows briefly come together, the expression hidden beneath his porcelain ANBU mask. Shin has no place here, not as an extension of Danzō’s will or as an emotional guide for himself. Dead men never have a place in the present.

Danzō grimaces as he carefully steps over a large root. “We will arrive soon.” 

The statement must be to distract from his difficulties moving. All ROOT shinobi are ensured to be able to sense chakra, something that Danzō made certain of himself. They are about two minutes away from the foreign chakra now, if they continue on at this speed. It is always odd when others attempt to fill the silence, when the silence is so telling in itself. 

“Of course, Danzō-sama,” he says, regardless. 

A hum comes as acknowledgement, although Danzō appears uncomfortably stiff as he continues walking. “You must be on your guard the entire time. It is difficult to tell what may offend Rasa at the moment, and we must not destroy the possibility of bringing this invasion to a close.” 

Otherwise the Council will not reconsider putting resources into finding Tsunade afterwards, is what Danzō does not say. The ROOT shinobi in charge of shadowing Jiraiya mentioned his tentative acceptance of the Council’s offer this afternoon. It had put a considerable number of Danzō’s plans on hold. 

His chin inclines, the motion hardly visible. “I am always on guard, Danzō-sama.” 

“I am aware,” Danzō easily accepts. There is no doubt in his voice, which eases any anxieties about whether that had been an issue. “However, this applies even more here than it normally does. Even the smallest detail can turn the winds in Suna’s favour.” 

He pushes his shoulders back as far as they will go, if only to give Danzō the impression that there is a way for him to pay more attention. His level of awareness is not what Danzō should be worrying about during a meeting such as this. 

Danzō falls silent, though likely not because he has been comforted by the action. Continuing the conversation when Suna’s forces are within sight would be detrimental to this line of action, after all. The faint sound of people talking carries on the wind, just barely making their conversation audible to him. Even if they were not, their voices are grim. 

That is a good sign. Negotiating with people who expect to lose is easier than when they expect to win. 

Those conversations come to a staggered halt as the foreign shinobi notice him and Danzō properly. His gaze scans over the camp, paying the individuals no attention for the time being. The first matter of business is always to catalogue to numbers and potential barriers, so long as no one attempts to attack. 

In this case, the camp itself is quite small. Shinobi are fatal on an individual level, of course, but the approximately thirty-seven shinobi within the camp only speaks to how poorly Suna has been fairing. One or two are likely distanced from the camp, either to provide potential back-up or are stationed as scouts. The tents themselves are only half-put together and poorly at that. 

The biggest threat is not the jounin and chūnin scattered throughout the poorly constructed camp, even if their weapons and desperation are taken into account. No, the biggest threat could only be the Kazekage, stationed right in the middle of the camp. 

The Kazekage is a short man. It is one of those things most people know, along a similar strain of how the Tsuchikage has back issues or that the Raikage has a short temper. Knowing that is a bit different from seeing it, however. He is twelve years old, give or take a few months, and yet the Kazekage is likely only five or six centimetres taller than him. The jounin who stand with him nearly tower over him. 

“Danzō,” Rasa says, his tone sharp, “just what are you doing here?” 

Danzō stands tall, his back straight enough that his wounds are not so easily betrayed. It must be painful. “I have a proposition for you.” 

A laugh is quickly muffled from the back of the camp. 

Their voice is carefully noted for later. Regardless of who they believe they are, they are either strong enough not to care or stupid enough to cast off the potential consequences. Both could lead to them being a threat to Danzō in the near future. 

“A _proposition_? So, you came all the way out here just to spout a bunch of bullshit at me, then. We’re far past the point of negotiations, Danzō,” Rasa snaps, his shoulders rolling back as he takes a half-step forward. 

Short is not the same as small. 

This moment could be captured, if he wanted to do that. It would be a challenge to paint the Suna shinobi and get their reverence quite right, to express how Rasa stands with all of the command and power as the ruler of the world would. The consideration is a pointless one. Even if it were allowed to paint missions, painting people is no longer an option for him. 

Painting people leads to experiencing emotion, and that is a dangerous path to go down. Emotions lead to being distracted and not doing jobs properly to the possibility of betraying whatever cause Danzō tells him to follow. 

The Kazekage, with all his commanding presence and charisma, does not deserve to be his falling point. Seeing him in person is interesting, and this moment will be tucked away for future review, but nothing more. He tears his gaze away, the motion minimized by his ANBU mask, and sweeps over the rest of the camp once more. No one has moved in the past few moments, only the jounin at Rasa’s side having tensed. 

Danzō raises an eyebrow, collected in the face of anger and a man he had assumed would be dead by now. “Would I have come here if I did not see the value of negotiating for both of us?” 

“You’re kidding me,” Rasa scoffs. 

“I am not.” 

“Let’s hear it then. Let me hear how you plan on screwing us over and returning to that little perch of power of yours.” Rasa scowls. He does not cross his arms in front of him or falter in any other way, appearing rather invulnerable for a man Danzō expected Orochimaru to have killed by now. “After all, that’s what you did the last time we spoke.” 

A likely possibility, and one that makes the rest of the Suna shinobi scowl at Danzō. Suna would be an easy sacrifice if larger rewards were waiting for him. 

More important is the effect it has on those scowling shinobi. Any one of them could take Rasa’s words as the final straw, emotion driving them to attack and allow these negotiations to deteriorate away to nothing. His job here is only to protect Danzō, but a threat can come from anyone or anywhere. 

These thirty-seven shinobi have an edge to their emotions, one that he has been thoroughly warned against. That is what will make them dangerous, although his own abilities will easily circumvent that. 

That will not help Danzō, however.

He keeps an eye on the most immediate threat, regardless. The kunoichi in question inches towards them from the left, hardly more than a handful of years older than him. Her eyes are bright with her anger and little more. That will make her sloppy, just as the lack of weapons on her person implies, even though her fingers move with obvious purpose. Puppetry is simple enough to predict. 

Danzō hums, breaking the tense silence that had settled across the camp. He must be aware of the threat, although he does not glance towards the kunoichi. “Retreat.” 

“Why exactly would I do that?” Rasa slowly asks. 

“If you retreat now, then Konoha will stop taking mission along the border it shares with Suna. That is your primary concern, is it now?” 

The following silence is an answer in itself. 

“Unless,” Danzō continues, “you take me for a fool who does not pay attention to the stresses upon our allies.” 

“And just how long would that last?” 

“For the foreseeable future, of course.” 

A hint of teeth is visible through Rasa’s grimace, there and gone within a blink. “How about this instead? You tell me what’s in it for you, and we’ll see. Fair isn’t a concept I think you understand, Danzō.” 

Danzo sighs. “My offer is a simple one. Your defeat at my own hands for the survival of your country. I assume that even you would see the benefits of that arrangement.” 

“Not a chance in hell.” 

Rasa’s words echo through the forest. 

Each Suna shinobi appears to be frozen in place, seemingly uncertain of what to do next. To attack after the insult of such an arrangement or to wait for the command of their leader. It would be more practical to wait for a command; however, he has seen countless times in which people have not waited, shinobi included. 

Movement from the corner of his eye draws his attention, a one-handed seal forming automatically. It releases a paint construct from one of a scroll, allowing a black and white monkey to charge the kunoichi from before. 

A loud yelp breaks the tension, followed by a crash from behind him as the monkey successfully restrains her. It would be difficult to maintain chakra threads while kicking and squirming in an attempt to get away. A puppeteer should properly assess their surroundings before attacking directly, just as any other shinobi should. Not that his unspoken opinion prevents her from gritting her teeth at him. 

No one else moves, allowing Danzō to continue on without interruption. “I implore you to reconsider, Rasa. My time as Hokage will begin shortly, allowing me to accept more missions from the north than to the south. Suna may never recover without a proper source of income.” 

“My answer is still no. There is no value in returning home humiliated, not if you expect anyone to take us seriously.” 

The final refusal fills the air, giving him just enough time to breathe before he feels it. 

Not the anger of negotiations gone wrong, although that would be understandable in its own way. Danzō certainly feels that. But rather, something crawling over his skin, charged with just enough chakra to make him take notice of it. A glance downwards confirm something crawling beneath his shirt, just out of sight. 

Whatever it is cannot only be affecting him. Each and every shinobi gathered in this small camp has almost stopped moving entirely as they glance down at themselves. This is beyond unexpected or abnormal. 

If this is some sort of jutsu, well, no one should know that they’re here. 

“Oh ho, what do we have here, un? This looks a lot like a secret meeting to me,” comes a voice from above them. 

Someone sighs. “Deidara-nii, I thought I told you not to do anything.” 

“That was _boring_.” Up in the air, a blond man grins down at them. “I wouldn’t move if I were you guys, yeah. Last I checked, C3 can be a bit… explosive.”

* * *

“Sunrise.” 

Silence should not feel so wrong. 

“Sunrise,” Baki repeats when Gaara doesn’t respond. He should have realized by now that Gaara has no intentions of answering. “This attack is happening then or not at all. And not attacking is no longer an option after the resources that have been poured into this.” 

His hands clench, his pants crumpling beneath his grip. For so long, all Gaara has wanted is for things to be _quiet_ and now he’s forced to listen to the commands of a fool. 

If he’s meant to kill people, then there isn’t much point to travelling all the way to the village gates to do so. A distraction will be a distraction, regardless of where it is. None of those people are the person he’s meant to kill. 

There is exactly one person that Gaara needs to kill, regardless of whatever Baki is blathering on about. That one person who had felt so similar to him during the Exam, the same one whose chakra blew up to twice its previous size just a few nights ago. Mother has stopped talking to him since then. Nothing coherent, not even a message of who or where or how. Not even the request for blood that Gaara has been so familiar with. 

Only the knowledge that Suna is the easiest place for him to rest in a real room and have unlimited access to food stops him from killing everyone in this room until then. 

Killing Uzumaki Naruto should make Mother say something. 

“All I need is for you to acknowledge-” 

Gaara stands. 

Gaara stands up from the window sill and finally directs the sand under his control. It lifts Baki with ease, Temari and Kankurō going deathly still from their respective spots in the room. Hands grasps desperately at the sand as it squeezes around Baki’s neck and Gaara watches dully, a rush moving through him at the sight of red against brown. Likely only a torn fingernail, but it’s more than he’s seen all week. 

The opportunity to kill as many Konoha shinobi as he could get his hands on was promised to him. That was weeks ago, now. A handful of hours will not change much in whatever scheme the Kazekage has dreamt up, just as the location of the attack will not. 

Mother finally moves within him. There are no words with the message, but Gaara follows the intent anyways. Their desires are always the same, after all. 

“Now,” he says, his voice low. 

“Gaara,” - Temari flinches when he looks at her, but she does not back down - “you need to let him go. He can’t say anything if you don’t let him go.” 

The only reason Gaara listens is because there is a grain of truth within her words. Baki falls to the ground with a dull thud, his gasping breaths drowning out all other noise. All it takes is a second of contemplation to deem that Baki is incapable of stopping him. Not that he ever was, but all he can blame now is his own weakness. 

It is enough reason to disappear in a whirlwind of sand, catching only a glimpse of the way Kankurō dives to Baki’s defense. They were never truly his siblings to begin with, anyways. The only one who cares about him - the only one who has ever cared about him is Mother. 

Mother may be silent now, but soon, she will speak to him again. 

In the meantime, Uzumaki Naruto waits for him.

Uzumaki Naruto waits to be killed by him, whether he knows it or not.


	33. how you react

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.”_ -Ellen Glasgow

Mother is silent.

Mother stays silent, even as he walks through the streets of this foreign village in search of the blood she surely must crave. 

Never has she gone this long without saying anything. Never has Gaara been faced with silence quite like this. He can hear himself think, can note that there are shops nestled between some of the houses. They are closed for the night, but he isn’t watching for something to lay at Mother’s feet. 

If this is how other people see the world, then Gaara would willingly cast it off. They would never understand what it’s like to know someone accepts every inch of who they are. Mother would never ignore or forget about him, not when she is buried so deeply inside of him. Even their need to sleep betrays their weaknesses, an oddity that he does not understand why they would want.

Uzumaki Naruto likely does not sleep. 

Gaara turns a corner, noting the lack of shops along this particular street. Mother’s chakra is still at his beck and call, so he pushes it out around him, into his own sand, into the grains of sand hidden between the dirt. Nothing is said about the call to action, about the layer of protection he pulls over himself. She will comment soon, though. Once Uzumaki Naruto’s blood coats his hands, the bite of adrenaline firmly embedded in him with the high of a well-won victory, she will speak to him. 

All he has to do is wait for Uzumaki Naruto to recognize his chakra and respond to the call of action. After all, his attempts to see where that monstrous chakra spikes. 

He is not worried.

Like calls to like, after all. 

Even civilians would notice Mother’s chakra when it’s like this. The heavy weight of Uzumaki Naruto’s chakra may already be spread throughout the village, but he cannot be too far away. 

“Hey!” 

Gaara stops. 

The voice is situated somewhere behind him, but it does not spark familiarity in him. It is too high-pitched and feminine to belong to Uzumaki Naruto, although the anger threaded through it reminds him of their fight in the Forest of Death.

Distractions are unnecessary, right now.

Gaara steps forward, just for something hard and small collides with the back of his head. Stumbling over his own feet, his eyes grow wide as he watches the object drop uselessly to the ground. Pain settles in his chest and he stares. It is nothing more than a pebble, a small rock that managed to get past his barriers. 

Standing here and releasing the full force of his anger as it churns his stomach is a temptation that he nearly does not ignore. Instead, he turns slowly, his back straightening once more. A kunoichi no older than him stares back. The pink of her hair is hardly visible as the streetlight flickers overhead, but it still sparks his memory. She had been there during his fight with Uzumaki Naruto. Her name escapes him, but Gaara does little to search for it. 

There is another rock in her hand, one that she tosses up into the air and catches. “Just what do you think you’re doing here, Gaara-kun?”

“Where is Uzumaki Naruto?” he asks, in lieu of answering.

She will die. 

There is no familiar chant for blood urging the need, but she still must die. If he can extract Uzumaki Naruto’s location from her first though, then his goal for the night will be achieved so much sooner. 

“Is that your answer?” The tension in her shoulders almost reminds him of Temari for some reason that he cannot name. “Because I’m not going to tell you that! The last thing Naruto needs to deal with right now is you.” 

When they had last fought each other, she used an honorific with Uzumaki Naruto. His memory of that fight is becoming clearer with each passing moment. But for her to sacrifice herself so needlessly now, that catches him off guard as viscerally as the pain still radiating from the back of his head.

Defeating her will be sweet. 

Mother may not enjoy the sacrifice, not when she awaits a better one so desperately as to curse him to this silence. But Gaara has no intentions of speeding this process up. The Uzumaki Naruto he fought before had been strange in his unwillingness to give up on his so-called loved ones. A week will have changed nothing in that regard, no matter what else has happened in that span of time. A dead loved one might change that though, pushing him over the line between human and monster, and allowing him to show Gaara the full extent of his strength. 

“Tell me or die,” Gaara pushes. 

She rolls her eyes. “You’re going to have to try harder than that.” 

His lips flatten as he tries to make sense of her. Every shinobi he’s come across, without fail, has fled after such a threat, after knowing exactly what he’s capable of. Maybe letting them live back then had been a mistake. Except even then, his bloodthirst must have been as obvious as it is now. Just barely restrained, his sand ready to pierce her skin at any moment now. 

She throws and catches that stone one last time, before clutching it in her fist. Her shoulder moves back, the intentions behind the movement obvious to even the most unskilled. 

Gaara moves first. 

Rather his sand moves first, rushing for her in thin, blade-like strips. It is relentless, small particles filling the air around them as they collide one after another. 

But they do not collide with her. Her laughter would not be echoing through the street if that were the case, surprised and lighthearted. She moves almost as if she can tell exactly where they will be before they get there. More than just retreating backwards, she jumps from side to side, landing on her hands and feet in equal measure. 

Then a rock collides with his shoulder, forcing him to take another step back. His sand falls uselessly to the ground and she grins at him. The force his last attack would have landed with dissipates, even as her laughter turns breathless. 

Not that it makes her grin disappear, more an expression of glee that makes the urge to crush her bones until they cease to exist grow and grow and grow. If Gaara cannot remember the texture of her blood in the dead of night, then it will not be enough. This cannot be the same person he met a week ago. Not the same person who kept to the background and shouted suggestions to Uzumaki Naruto. 

It makes more sense that Uzumaki would surround himself with strong people though, more than the girl from back then. That is exactly what he would do, if his circumstances were any different. 

“Did you think that would make me tell you, Gaara-kun?” she shouts from the other end of the street. The distance should be his advantage, but that has not proven to be the case. “Naruto means more to me than a few scrapes and bruises!”

And there are a few wounds upon her skin. 

Gaara can see them now, the red friction burns along her forearms. The fact that they are bleeding is as surprising as everything else about this situation. 

“Why?” 

The question slips out, frustration deeply embedded into it. 

There should be answers to this. Some sort of explanation for why she would allow herself to be injured for the sake of another person, regardless of who they are. Pain, freely taken unto themselves, is incomprehensible. 

Not that she hears him. Even if she did, Gaara doubts that she would answer him properly. Instead, she reaches for her kunai and throws a handful of them at him. The attempt is half-hearted, barely scratching his outer shields. About as far from the two stones that crashed into him, bypassing all of it. 

She takes his moment of confused contemplation to touch the ground, almost as if to inspect it. All that achieves is Gaara continuing to stare at her with wide eyes, no explanation forthcoming. A frown etches itself into his face as she takes in a deep breath and slowly releases it, appearing, for intents and purposes, calm. Her intentions remain clouded to him when her eyes close, her form shifting slightly. 

This is unlike any technique Gaara has ever come across. 

That is apparent when she looks up and their eyes meet, not the slightest hint of hesitation in her gaze. Gaara takes another half-step back. Then she launches, the distance between them shrinking. 

A split second is all it takes for him to make use of his sand, leaving just enough space in the outer walls to keep her within his sight. Her footing is unsteady as she ducks past, but her eyes are bright. Bright enough to make something surge inside of him, for him to take a stumbling step backwards. 

Only his last defense stops the next kunai from hitting him. He didn’t even notice her throwing it at him, not with chakra surging through her feet with each step she takes towards him. His hand drops to the ground. Sand rises in a wave between both of them, filled with intention as he desperately sends it away from him in every direction. 

There is no choice but for her to get caught up in it. His breaths come in deep gasps, in and out and in and out, as he stares out at the expanse between the two of them. The pavement is no longer visible, not even the slightest centimetre of the street revealing itself. It’s too much like home. He needs to kill something, anything - the last time he did not appease Mother ended poorly for him. But Mother is silent, Mother does not even grumble in the back of his mind like she always does. 

His focus slips. 

Not enough.

This is not _enough_. 

She pulls herself up out of the sand, groaning. Only a few metres separate them, but she does not appear concerned as she shakes the sand from her top. 

“Why?” he asks, once more. 

Even feigning the ability to hear him would be unrealistic. She blinks as she looks up at him, her head tilting to the side. “Why, what?” 

“Your loyalty to Uzumaki Naruto-” 

“-is really none of your business, actually,” she swiftly interrupts. But then she smiles and stands in front of him properly, the snapped words fading away. “You… don’t understand it, do you? Naruto is an idiot, but he’s also someone I care about a lot. He cares. And that means I have every intention of protecting him from people like you.” 

Her skin is still that bright red. Friction burns are painful in themselves, although Gaara has never been the cause of them, not without a much different result than this girl, standing tall and still very alive. There is blood, too. Blood dripping from her cheek, and blood between her fingers. None of that makes her falter, nothing makes her reassess her situation here. No one has faced him so honestly, not since-

She fights in the name of Uzumaki Naruto, not for the sake of her own skill. Despite that, her skill is still far above what he assumed it would be, even if she has been limited to dodging his attacks. But he expected the latter. The few people who thought themselves strong enough to kill him always claimed to do so in order to increase their own skill. 

“He cares,” Gaara mutters. 

His hand reaches up to grip his hair. No pain follows, his own sand preventing him from pulling it further. 

If he’s right, this girl is nothing more than Uzumaki Naruto’s teammate.

Temari and Kankurō are his teammates. 

More than that, they’re his siblings. 

His siblings - people who should care, like this girl cares for Uzumaki Naruto. Neither of them would act in this manner if he were in trouble. It’s never been an issue, but Gaara can already picture what exactly they would do. There is no-

Love. 

Love is the thing that wounds - except it is also the thing that heals even the deepest wounds, the ones Gaara has no words to explain. Love is the one thing he has never had, the one thing he will never have. Maybe once, he thought he did. The lie of it all rips a scream from his throat, echoing Mother’s chant that builds inside him, even in her silence.

* * *

Sasuke twitches as something grabs hold of his leg. A light kick does absolutely nothing to make it let go, and he scowls down at Naruto clutching onto him. The idiot shows absolutely no signs of stopping anytime soon.

This is why Sasuke didn’t want them to share a bed. Every time the two of them share a bed, he’s forced into becoming some sort of human pillow. All because Naruto suffers from some weird infliction that turns him into an octopus whenever he falls asleep, regardless of the circumstances. 

His head falls back against the wall as a groan leaves his lips. His chances of getting away now are next to nothing, not unless he wakes up everyone in this house. 

With any hope, Naruto won’t notice this in the morning. 

Those early-morning conversation have been some of the most awkward of his life. Just because Sasuke hasn’t had one for the better part of a year doesn’t mean that he suddenly wants to repeat the experience. If anything, they were one of the few things he held onto in his determination not to apologize. 

Taking the Chūnin Exam shouldn’t have changed that, certainly not to this extent. But nothing about the Exam should have happened the way it did. 

His shoulders tighten. 

Something is happening. 

Something big enough to make his muscles itch with the need to move, to get away, to-

Sasuke gasps for breath as the feeling intensifies, settling awkwardly on top of his skin like a second set of clothes. Only clothes charged with murderous rage. The cursed seal had been like this in those few hours before the Kyuubi’s chakra destroyed it.

Or like the chakra infused in that ball of sand, back in the Forest of Death. His nose throbs at the memory, but he pushes that away in favour of gripping Naruto’s shoulder. Whatever this is, cursed seal or murderous Suna genin, it can’t be anything good. Naruto merely groans and rolls over, freeing him. His scowl deepens as Naruto pulls a pillow over his head, cutting him off from the rest of the world.

“Dobe,” Sasuke hisses, sharply. 

“But I don’t want to fight a giant bug, Kurama,” Naruto mutters, his voice muffled. 

Sasuke’s head hits the wall once more as he squeezes his eyes shut. Nonsense like that is exactly what he should expect from Naruto. 

Something about giant bugs and people named Kurama just makes him want to throw his hands into the air and give up, though. It would be much easier than actually attempting to wake Naruto up. Sasuke grabs his shoulder again, just a bit firmer than before. 

Naruto grumbles, but rolls back over, squinting up at him. “Sasuke…?” 

“Dobe-”

“If you wanted up, you could have just done that, teme,” Naruto mutters, turning his head into the mattress.

Sasuke scowls. “That’s not why I woke you up!” 

“Uh-huh, whatever you say.”

“Can’t you feel it?” he snaps.

Naruto pauses and looks back up at him. An odd frown spreads across his face as he stares up at the ceiling. For once, Sasuke holds onto the hope that Naruto will actually listen. 

That hope lasts for an entire second before Naruto rolls his eyes. “Hallucinating, teme?”

“No!” 

The feeling surges again, the charge behind it strong enough to momentarily convince Sasuke it could turn his skin into a paper bomb. One strike and it would ignite. His awareness of the room fades briefly, before each washed-out detail rushes back in. 

Especially Naruto finally sitting up, staring at him with wide eyes. “Uh.”

“Believe me now?” Sasuke forces out.

“That was Gaara.”

“What-”

His question is left unanswered as Naruto scrambles out of bed, pausing only to shed his pajamas. Sasuke gapes, but Naruto just picks up the orange jumpsuit off the floor. It’s covered in blood and dirt, a wide tear through the shoulder. Not that it bothers Naruto, because he shrugs it on over a t-shirt without a thought.

The pants aren’t any different, even though mud is clearly caked onto the bottom hem. In no way, shape or form could that be comfortable. Or easy to move around in. 

If nothing else, the smell wafting off of it would give them away immediately. Sasuke can already picture it as Naruto turns back towards him, hands on his hips. Gaara may not be an Inuzuka, but he probably still has some sense of smell left. Naruto must not. That’s the only reasonable explanation Sasuke can come up with.

“You’re not wearing that,” Sasuke snaps.

Naruto blinks. “Huh?”

“You’re not wearing that! What sort of idiot _are_ you?” 

“But-” 

Sasuke finally pulls himself out of bed. The drag of sleep beneath his eyes has almost disappeared entirely, replaced by the need to move, to fight, to do something. 

Pulling out two of his own outfits from the closet is not enough. Nor does it help that Naruto just stares blankly at the clothes shoved into his hands, before contemplating his own clothes and grimacing. A true idiot, Sasuke realizes with no small amount of exasperation, before changing himself. The urge to run towards the source of this desperation is growing quickly.

Both of them slip from the room, exchanging a quick look before going their separate ways. Leaving by themselves is tempting, but this is not the time for taking risks. Gaara won’t offer them mercy this time around, won’t walk away because of a fight too easily won. Besides, Sasuke can already hear the lecture they would get for running off on their own again. 

“Going somewhere?” 

Sasuke stops at the top of the stairs. “No.” 

Kakashi hums and walks over, as if sitting around in the dark alone were something completely normal. Honestly, it wouldn’t be the strangest thing Sasuke would expect his sensei to do.

“Yes,” he amends, after a heartbeat. “Gaara is out there.” 

Kakashi’s face is dark from the dim lights pouring in from the windows behind him. “Gaara-kun?” 

“Can’t you-” 

His protest dies in the back of his throat. Naruto hadn’t recognized the feeling right away either. He had just assumed that it was from being half-asleep and an idiot on the best of days. 

But how did Naruto figured out that Gaara is the cause of this feeling?

A loud slam echoes through the house, the walls shaking around them. “Sasuke, come on!” 

Sasuke blinks as someone grabs his wrist. There is just barely enough time for him to regain his sense of balance before Naruto tugs him down the stairs, rushing for the door. Gaara is waiting, somewhere out in the village. 

“You’re coming, right, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto shouts over his shoulder.

“In a moment,” Kakashi calls back, cheerfully. 

His voice cuts off as the front door slams behind them.

* * *

Kakashi watches Naruto and Sasuke stumble down the stairs, his amusement surging. There is something just along the edge of his sensing range, dark and heavy. It could be a fight, yes, but rushing to fight some shinobi that his precious students know and he does not cannot be too urgent. 

He should follow them, at least to make sure they don’t get themselves into more trouble. One day of relative peace, and they would throw themselves into the closest source of danger, even though Suna could invade at any possible time. He would be a lot more concerned if jounin from Konoha and other villages alike weren’t patrolling the streets to prevent this exact thing from happening. 

A door creaks open, followed closely by the sound of stumbling footsteps. Rin steps out of the dark hallway a moment later with bleary eyes, red strands of hair falling into his face despite his attempt at pulling them into a hair tie. Pure affection builds inside Kakashi for a split second, before he forces it down again. 

“Maa, maa, everyone is having the time of their lives tonight,” he drawls. 

Rin looks at him, his eyebrows pinched together in his confusion. “Where did…”

“Gone.”

“But-” 

Kakashi lets out a single laugh as he leans against the railing. “Did you expect our adorable, little brats to care about something like personal safety?” 

“Yes?” Rin glances down the stairs and at the still-open door, confusing shifting into grim acceptance. “We have to go get them. Gaara is Suna’s jinchuuriki.” 

Ah.

Maybe Kakashi shouldn’t have allowed them to rush off like that, after all. 

No, Kakashi really should not have done that. An explanation would have been better, at the very least. Gaara is a name that strikes his memory, now that he thinks about it a bit further. It also happens to be the name of the Kazekage’s son, the one who caused a great deal of trouble for Suna a few years back, which is likely no coincidence. Those reports had been amusing at the time, a comfort in the aftermath of what happened to the Uchiha. 

They aren’t quite so amusing now. Not when someone like that could rip his inadequately-trained genin to shreds without the slightest hesitation. Someone like that should have never needed to take the Chūnin Exam at all. 

Perhaps that had been the point since the beginning. 

Kakashi pulls himself up to his full height, the air of amusement surrounding him gone. “What are we waiting for, then?” 

“No.” 

He pauses. “No?”

“You… I need you to warn someone about this.” Rin hesitates, then walks over to rest a hand on his arm. Kakashi can make out the bright blue of his eyes from this distance, even in this dim lighting, and the twist of his lips betrays a deeper determination. “Last time - when Suna invaded before, Gaara acted like a bomb and distraction for the rest of Suna to attack.” 

His stomach churns uncomfortably. “The village.” 

“And there’s… no one in charge right now, is there?” Rin points out, his voice creeping high. “It would be-”

“A slaughter.”

Attacking during the night means less resistance, due to reduced manpower. The cover of trees provides a darkness that would allow Suna to get closer to the village without being seen. Add that to a distraction on the inside, and their invasion stands a high chance of being successful. Ignoring the mourning period of a Kage would make them lose face with some of the other villages, but it might be worth it.

It would be a risky move, but a calculated one. 

Send a summons instead, Kakashi nearly suggests. Even though the new Hokage hasn’t been announced, the Elders need to know about the potential situation. After all, he has no intentions of leaving Naruto and Sasuke alone with a jinchuuriki, regardless of where their abilities currently stand. They still have a long way to go, their experiences in real fights few in number. If they disappeared to confront anyone else, then Kakashi would have been content to observe just how far their abilities have come these past few weeks. 

Rin squeezes his arm, the tight grip bringing his attention back to the here and now. Back to Rin standing so close. The kiss they shared before is still right in the back of his mind, haunting him. His gaze briefly drops to Rin’s lips, his heart beating loudly. 

“You need to go to the Academy, in case Suna does invade,” Rin tells him, quiet but insistent. 

Kakashi hesitates. “Naruto and Sasuke are my priority. If Suna invades, then someone will step up to take charge.” 

“I’m sure they will. But the person I don’t trust in all this is Danzō.” Rin pauses, something else clearly weighing on his mind, before finishing, “And I do trust you.” 

Any objections Kakashi may have had fade away like smoke. Too genuine, a voice in his head screams at him. But his attention is too focused on Rin’s proximity to him, on those few strands of red hair falling into Rin’s eyes. The detail is so insignificant in the grand scheme of things, and yet absolutely everything to him. 

“Do you trust me?” Rin asks him, softly. 

Kakashi swallows back the feeling building inside him, then nods. “I do.” 

A smile slowly spreads across Rin’s face, then he surges forward without warning. The contact is brief enough, faint enough that Kakashi can nearly convince himself that it’s a figment of his imagination. But the warmth lingers as Rin pulls back and starts to sprint down the stairs, undeniable. 

The front door slams behind him, the quiet giving Kakashi the half-moment he needs to recompose himself. His hand reaches up to brush the spot on his cheek still emanating warmth. Then he breathes in deeply and starts down the stairs. Apparently, he’s going to the Academy now.


	34. teachings of life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“Life has taught me that you can’t control someone’s loyalty. No matter how good you are to them, doesn’t mean they’ll treat you the same. No matter how much they mean to you, doesn’t mean they’ll value you the same. Sometimes the people you love the most, turn out to be the people you can trust the least.”_ -Trent Shelton

If Kurama weren’t barking out orders from the back of his head, Naruto probably would have taken three wrong turns trying to get here. 

_ Are you really  _ that _ oblivious to chakra, brat?  _ Kurama snipes. 

“No!” 

Sasuke glances at him, one eyebrow raised.

Naruto ignores the questioning look in favour of picking up his pace, continuing as if he never said anything to begin with. Apparently, they’re almost there. And  _ apparently _ , chakra is radiating off of Gaara in thick waves, even though Naruto certainly can’t tell the difference between that and anything else. 

Chakra is supposed to be that thing they use to fuel jutsu. People in the Academy always complained about not having enough of it or they would brag about having more of it than anyone else. Each time, Naruto would awkwardly laugh and pretend he knew what they were talking about. Sure, sometimes he could feel something that might be chakra, but it never ran out. 

That doesn’t mean Naruto has the slightest idea what someone else’s chakra is supposed to feel like. 

It used to sound like some bullshit excuse adults came up with to explain why some people get tired more easily than others. Or to explain why civilians can’t use jutsu the same way they could.

Sasuke inhales sharply. “Naruto-” 

He skids to a stop and stares, Sasuke having already done the same. 

Sand covers the entire side street in front of them, including the handful of houses along it. It moves in scattered clouds with Gaara standing in the centre of it all. His eyes are wide, their white visible even with just the shitty street lights brightening the area, and his hands on his knees seem to be the only thing keeping him upright. 

Sakura stands no less than a couple metres in front of Gaara, half-hidden by the moving clouds of sand. Sakura, who should be at home with her parents. Naruto’s stomach bottoms out as he gapes at the scene. It only took them a few minutes to get here from Rin’s house. But the rise and fall of her chest is too obvious for this to be the beginning of a fight, even though getting to Rin’s would have taken less time than confronting Gaara by herself.

Which brings Naruto to the confusing question of why she confronted Gaara alone, no amount of mental flailing revealing an answer. 

She grins at them both over her shoulder, blood rolling down her cheek. “You finally decided to show up!” 

“I - uh, Sakura?” Naruto starts, stumbling through his words. 

“Not that I need the help, really. I don’t know why we thought this guy was so tough.” The sand stills in the air around her, but Sakura does not so much as blink. “He’s just lonely.” 

Sasuke’s eyebrow twitches. “She’s lost it.” 

“Uh-huh.”

“Entirely,” he adds.

Naruto nods, wordlessly. 

“We should… leave, probably.” 

“But-”

His protest dies as Gaara snaps out a meaningless word, hands squeezing into fists. 

Sakura does not pause. Nor does she look at Gaara to guess his intentions before rolling out of the way, as if the condensed spear of sand were nothing more than a balloon slowly being deprived of air. Another spear follows, then another after that. None of them give her pause, and watching her barely avoid each of them, as if she knows exactly where they’ll land, is far more terrifying than Gaara’s growing anger. 

The fourth and last one nicks her shoulder, a sharp exhale forced out of her as her hand reaches up to clutch at it. 

Her grin falters, ever so slightly. “Is this enough proof?” she asks, but the words aren’t directed at him. “Nothing about my friendship with Naruto will change.”

Naruto stares at her, incapable of saying a word.

Next comes a scream, more pained than it has any right to be, and Naruto is moving. Moving before he contemplates a thing, a sea of power surging at his command. It reacts so quickly.

Far more quickly than Naruto expected it to. 

One moment, his foot is on the ground. 

Then his other foot is right where he wants it to, only a whole second before he needs it to be there. 

His feet stumble over each other and his hands flail awkwardly in front of him, just a moment too late to catch himself. Too late to catch much of anything except a mouthful of sand. Naruto grimaces and squeezes his eyes shut as hysterical laughter echoes through his skull, unavoidable from any angle he attempts to approach this from. His fingernails are a touch too sharp, Kurama’s power too close to the surface. 

Besides, no one here will let him forget that he just tripped over his own feet. Probably not even Gaara, as out of it as he appears. 

A snort comes from his side, and Naruto looks up to see Sasuke holding out a hand for him. One innocent-looking hand that he takes gratefully and without hesitation, allowing him to pull himself up to his feet. 

“Why?” comes a snarled voice. 

Naruto is covered in sand.

But so is Gaara, the grains moving over his skin, just barely visible in the dim lighting of the street lamp.

Gaara casts a frantic look at him and Sasuke, then Sakura. Gaara’s mouth moves with silent words as the sand freezes overhead and pressure exudes from him. Power, even as his legs shake beneath him, as far from stable as a person can possibly get.

_“Why_ ?” Gaara repeats, louder this time. 

Naruto pulls himself up the rest of the way, his embarrassment gone in an instant. “Why, what?” 

_ Not the time, kit.  _ Kurama is standing properly as well now, his presence so obvious to Naruto that he can almost feel something solid behind him, rather than inside the confines of his own mind.  _ Shukaku’s brat is just about to blow - don’t know what that bastard thinks he’s doing, trying to push his container off the deep end.  _

“I don’t care. Gaara and I are the same.” 

Another shout is ripped from Gaara, and Naruto can make out how bloodshot his eyes are now, his vision sharper than it had been moments ago. “Uzumaki Naruto. You’re here.” 

“Heh.” Naruto grins at Gaara, his teeth awkwarding nudging his bottom lip. There is too much of Kurama in him right now, more than he really knows what to do with. “You actually remembered my name!”

“I  _ need _ -” 

“No, you don’t.” 

“Yes, I do!” 

“You don’t.” Naruto glances over at Sakura, his head tilted to the side. “Do you mind if I take it from here?” 

She rolls her eyes at him, her knuckles white as she continues clutching at her shoulder. “You’ll probably have more luck convincing him than I did.” 

Naruto grins back, letting his hand drop from Sasuke’s as his shoulders roll back. This wouldn’t work without all of them beside him. Because it’s clear now. What he needs to do isn’t defeat Gaara, or at least not just that. He needs to show him that even monsters need people who care about them.

Their eyes meet once more as Naruto sprints forward. Just like in the Forest of Death, his newly-formed claws slice through Gaara’s sand like a knife through soft butter. Only this time, Kurama’s chakra stays with him. 

A thousand clones would appear around him right now, if Naruto summoned them. He doesn’t, instead focusing on moving through the hastily-constructed barriers Gaara puts between them. Each is a bit firmer than the last. Each breaks within a moment, Kurama’s chakra threatening to consume him. There would be no coming back from that, not since what happened in the graveyard.

Gaara reaches up to clutch at his own face, and Naruto knows he can feel it too. This is more than having too much Kurama inside him. Rather, the more Naruto lets Kurama in, the more easily they exist side by side, then the smaller the chances of him going back to normal. A terrifying concept, at least to Gaara. 

But Sakura can suddenly tell where everyone in the village is.

And Sasuke’s weird curse mark is now an even weird burn mark. 

With that in mind, it doesn’t matter to Naruto what he becomes, so long as they stay by his side. 

That it was his fault for following Kurama’s instructions without really thinking about it matters in its own way, but not in the way Gaara would think. Naruto fills himself with their loyalty, only growing with each wall of sand he breaks down. 

_ It’s not my fault for forgetting that you fragile humans can’t put up with a few minutes of nature chakra! _

Naruto breathes out a laugh as he reaches the last barrier. His wrist catches in the middle of it, so much thicker than the half dozen that came before. The light catches the green of Gaara’s eyes from this distance, close enough to make out each individual eyelash. They’re wide in this moment, Gaara’s mouth trembling as he stares at Naruto’s hand just centimetres from his chest. 

“Why?” Gaara asks, his voice strangled. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” 

“You’re  _ like me _ ! Why should - how - you’re a monster too,” he finishes in a whisper.

Monster, monster, monster rings through his head in a loud chorus. Naruto can’t count the number of times he’s been called that, the number of times he’s willfully ignored it. But now, that word just makes his grin grow. 

In their own way, the people who called him a monster were right. Except they were also wrong. If having a friend held close to his heart is what makes him a monster, if something that happened before he was even born makes him a monster, than he will take on that title. Naruto would not be Naruto without him, after all, and neither would he have Sakura and Sasuke, or Rin and Kakashi-sensei without Kurama. 

“I am,” Naruto agrees, easily. “But that doesn’t change anything with my friends beside me!”

* * *

Naruto’s declaration rings out through the neighbourhood. 

Small words, but packed with enough meaning to nearly take Rin’s breath away. It must take Sakura and Sasuke’s breathes away, because they both falter, despite their obvious intentions to join Naruto in his crusade. 

That is nothing compared to the way Gaara stumbles backwards, sand parting to let him through. It puts him further away from Naruto now, at least physically. But his hand is clutching at his chest, at that one spot Naruto nearly touched. 

Rin takes this as his turn to act. The scroll at his hip unravels as he flickers over to Naruto and Gaara, the seal finally charged with enough chakra. There is just enough distance between Gaara and the broken barriers of sand for Rin to step into that space. The sand does not quite move fast enough to react to the firm hand Rin places on Gaara’s forehead, to the new seal placed there.

The sand still in the air drops to the ground as Gaara’s eyes flutter shut, sleeping overtaking him for the first time in his life.

Rin really should have fixed that seal sooner.

Naruto squawks out a protest as he lunges forward to grab Gaara before he can fall to the ground, vulnerable for the first time in his life. Not that Naruto would know that. A smile is hidden on Rin’s face when he steps back to watch properly. 

And a shout announces Sakura and Sasuke rushing towards them, struggling slightly to keep a foothold in the piles of sand covering the street. Sasuke steps forward to help support Gaara, a deep scowl directed at Naruto as he does so. Only Sakura stays back, one hand pressed to her shoulder. 

There is only one reason why Rin didn’t step in as soon as he arrived, and that reason is Gaara. Gaara, who meant so much to him back in his own time. Who was one of the first bonds he made of his own free will and not just because of a bit of luck from being on the same team as them. Who had been loyal to him until the very end, even when retreating might have save his life.

Not that anyone had known that retreating would only secure their survival for a few months, at most.

And now, his stomach churns as the fear and anger fade from Gaara’s face. 

“What was that, dobe?” Sasuke snaps, from Gaara’s other side. 

Naruto falters, forced into shifting under the weight on his shoulder, and a wide range of emotion flickers across his face as he takes half a step back. “Shouldn’t you be asking Sakura that, teme? She fought Gaara first!” 

Rin pauses.

And looks over at Sakura, only now questioning her presence here. Her gaze briefly meets his own and she offers him a small smile, before wincing as she shifts her hold on her shoulder. There doesn’t seem to be any more injuries on her person either. 

Sasuke huffs, his scowl only growing deeper. “I wasn’t talking about that.” 

“Huh?” 

“Did you forget that I could have fought Gaara too?” he snaps, though it lacks any real heat. “Or did you just get so caught up in your big head that you rushed in without thinking.” 

“Hey!” 

“And since when can you use the Kyuubi’s chakra like that?” Sasuke adds on, sharply. 

Naruto pauses, no longer offended as he frowns to himself. “I… don’t know?” 

“Probably since we healed the Kyuubi at the graveyard,” Sakura cuts in.

“Oh,” Naruto says, absentmindedly. “I guess that makes sense.” 

“It-” 

“His name is Kurama, though, not the Kyuubi.” 

Sakura and Sasuke nod without questioning the information. 

Rin’s gaze turns soft as he stares at the three of them. Naruto asking Kurama about his name doesn’t come as a surprise, even if it does seem a bit soon. For him to not even think twice about telling Sakura and Sasuke though, that does come as a surprise. A pleasant one, too. An upside to this whole mess that he somehow managed to miss between everything else happening. 

A light laugh is pulled from him as he thinks about it, drawing the attention of Team Seven onto him. As if they only just remembered that something other than their conversation exists.

“Hey,” Sasuke starts, his words directed at his teammates, even as he stares at Rin.

Sakura hums in acknowledgement. “He got here a while ago.” 

“I didn’t want to interrupt?” Rin tries. 

Naruto narrows his eyes, before pointing an accusing finger at Rin. “Hey! Just how did you manage to knock Gaara out, anyways?”

“Knock him out?” he says, innocently.

“Yeah! One minute, he wanted to kill me, because - I don’t know, he doesn’t understand friendship or something, and the next, he was asleep,” Naruto charges ahead, frustration growing with each passing second. “That - that doesn’t just  _ happen _ .” 

Any teasing amusement Rin might have felt fades as his gaze lands on Gaara, slumped between Naruto and Sasuke. Chakra no longer exudes from the scar on his forehead, the seal stable enough for him to sleep without the Shukaku breaking free.

That would have been bad for all of them. Naruto seems to have control over Kurama’s chakra at the moment, but there’s no way to tell if that would have been the case if he was really fighting. And the threat of Suna still hangs over their heads, perhaps more heavily than it was before.

Although, if the plan is the same as it was when Rin first lived through it, then this is the quietest invasion he’s ever lived through.

“It’s not that complicated,” Rin tells them, biting back those fears. “His seal - whoever made it did a real shitty job. Gaara probably couldn’t sleep without his bijū taking control. I just fixed it.”

Naruto nods as if that all makes perfect sense.

Then stops, abruptly.

“You mean, he’s just… asleep?” Sasuke cuts in before Naruto, his eyebrows pinched together.

“Uh-huh.” 

Sasuke’s gaze falls to Gaara. “I doubt it’s that bad.” 

“You try going an entire lifetime without sleep, then.” 

Rin smiles without any real enjoyment when all three members of Team Seven blanches at the comment. A lifetime without sleep cannot be so easily understood. How Gaara went so long without sleeping isn’t even something Rin can pretend himself. 

“We need to bring Gaara to the Hokage’s office,” he starts. “Kakashi should already-” 

His stomach drops alongside the rest of his sentence.

A wave of embarrassment swells in place of it, memories of how exactly he left Kakashi rushing through his mind all at once. The thin fabric of Kakashi’s mask against his lips, how easy it would have been to lean just a couple centimetres to the right. The wide-eyed stare Kakashi gave him, before Rin left without another word. And Rin didn’t even think twice about any of it.

His fingers slowly reach towards his own mouth, before curling into a fist as he catches a glimpse of the twelve year olds still standing in front of him.

“Are you okay?” Sakura carefully asks him. 

Right, because she can apparently sense even subtle changes in his chakra now. 

“I’m - fine. Completely fine. No need to talk about it,” Rin rushes to say, still pressing his fist to his bottom lip. “Kakashi - Kakashi should already be there by now.” 

* * *

Hiruzen keeps his good sake in the bottom drawer of his desk, neatly sealed away from any curious eyes. Along with it is his set of Icha Icha books, the corners folded and the spines cracked. Well-read, although Jiraiya is perfectly content not thinking about his former sensei reading those books, not when he had been the one to write them.

As for the sake, well, kept is a far better word all around to describe its state. Jiraiya eyes the faint outline of the bottle suspiciously as he leans back in the Hokage’s chair. Last he checked, it had been empty. Not that it had been empty when he found it, sometime after he worked his way through the bottle he brought for himself. But that must have been hours ago. The room wouldn’t be quite so bright otherwise.

Although, honestly, that could either be a little bit of sunshine coming in through the window or his eyes finally adjusting to the dark room. 

But checking means turning around, and there is no chance of that happening anytime soon. The world is already spinning around him. Moving will only make that so much worse. It isn’t even the good type of spinning, where Jiraiya can forget about everything except someone else’s soft skin. No, this is just the cold darkness of his sensei’s office.

It isn’t even an empty office. Jiraiya peers across the room to where the ANBU is still standing beside the door. Who knows how many hours have gone by, and they haven’t moved so much as a centimetre. 

Anyone human would be exhausted. If Jiraiya could go for a nap right about now, he most certainly would. 

Napping is not such a great idea when Suna could invade at any time.

And even if he wanted to, sleep would only bring unpleasant things. 

“Someone is here, Jiraiya-sama,” the ANBU abruptly says. 

Jiraiya assumes it’s the ANBU, at least. No one bothered to turn the lights on, after all, so it could be a cheap imitation of an ANBU. Maybe he did fall asleep for a few moments, and this is someone else entirely. His first motion as Hokage should be getting rid of those masks in their entirety. 

Anything would be better than those masks. 

He grimaces, his head colliding with the back of his chair. The ceiling is moving, which is… odd, but not the strangest thing he’s experienced. “Who?” 

“Five shinobi, one of which has Kage-level chakra stores. Two in that group are Konoha shinobi,” comes the automatic response. “And Hatake Kakashi from another direction.” 

That does not bode well.

None of this bodes well, given that Jiraiya just drank enough to down most people. A single drop more and he would be down for the count as well, if this vague consciousness is really what being ready means. There is the slightest chance he should have stopped after the first bottle.

Those regrets are things for the Jiraiya of the future to worry about, though. Which may be the him of right now, when he thinks about it. The him of right now still doesn’t regret drinking a bottle and a half of sake though, especially if he has to deal with this bullshit.

Jiraiya sighs and squeezes his eyes shut. “How far-” 

A hesitant knock interrupts him, all while answering his question. 

The ANBU looks straight ahead, no waver or hesitation to give them away. “Should I let them in, Jiraiya-sama?” 

“Why not? Ignoring them sure as hell won’t make this any easier,” he mumbles.

They reach for the door as Jiraiya pushes himself up properly. The realization of how far back he’d been slumped in the chair is an unpleasant surprise, as is his gut flipping anxiously at the abrupt change in position. Finding a bathroom before he talks to these guys would probably be a good idea.

Not that the option is available to him with the oddest compilation of people he’s ever seen piling into the office. Even drunk and a touch disconnected from reality, there is something obviously wrong.

For one, even as Jiraiya blinks through the sudden light, two of those people seem to be Danzō and Rasa. And he can’t think of any reason why the Kazekage and the wannabe Hokage would be together and in front of him. Not any good reason, at least. The other three aren’t any less suspicious. One blank ANBU mask stares back at him, but the last two are far more difficult to explain away.

Partially because they seem to be in charge of the situation. And partially because the kunoichi is wearing an Iwa hitai-ate. The last thing Jiraiya wants to hear right now is that Iwa and Suna have banded together with Danzō to take over Konoha. It would get him out of wearing this damn hat, but not in the way he wants that responsibility taken away from him. 

“Well,” he starts, ignoring the warm flush of his cheeks, “aren’t you quite the assortment to show up here?” 

Danzō manages to step past both the ANBU guard and the other two shinobi. “Jiraiya, this is not-” 

The blond man jerks him back, the grin on his face so sharp it could cut someone through. At least someone is enjoying this, because Jiraiya most certainly is not. 

“Ah.” 

And that sound came from behind him. 

Jiraiya grimaces. Maybe opening the window hadn’t been such a great idea, after all, even if the room was a touch too warm. He had honestly forgotten about it. And now, the already tense room is on guard, even the blond man who had pulled Danzō back.

“I’ll… come back later,” Kakashi comments, lightly. 

“Or you could come inside, Hatake,” Jiraiya says as he resigns himself to his fate. “I have the feeling that I should have as many witnesses as possible for this conversation.” 

“Then you won’t want to hear about Suna’s jinchūriki roaming through a residential area, will you?” 

As if this day could get any worse.

No, Jiraiya takes that back. It isn’t even sunrise yet, and the list of things that could go wrong is only growing. At a faster rate than he honestly appreciates.

Kakashi’s question makes Rasa jerk back, though. Jiraiya is far too tired - far too drunk, for that matter - to make any sense of it, but he takes note of it anyways, just in case. Not that he needs to meddle in the Kazekage’s familial relationships, if his information about Suna’s jinchūriki also being Rasa’s son is right.

“That depends. Are they going on an early morning stroll, by any chance?” Jiraiya asks, exhaustion threaded through his voice.

Kakashi hums. “Hard to tell. But Rin-chan wanted me to warn you that Suna… may attempt to invade in the immediate future.” 

Jiraiya glances over his shoulder at Kakashi, then back at the group in front of him.

Rasa couldn’t get any closer to the Hokage’s hat if he tried. Neither could Danzō, for that matter, and Jiraiya really should throw everyone out of this damned office and call it quits. He told those old bastards that he would make a horrible Hokage. Thought he’d make it a bit longer than twelve hours, give or take, but the rest of it has gone exactly as expected. 

“Deidara-nii, perhaps you should start explaining?” the Iwa kunoichi speaks up. 

The blond man, apparently also an Iwa shinobi, laughs, just the once. “Funny story, yeah. Kurotsuchi and I were on a late stroll through the woods-”

“That is not-” 

“Anyone tell you it’s rude to interrupt, old man?” Danzō glowers at Deidara, and, well, Jiraiya had no intentions of asking about the bits of clay crawling on his cheek before and his stance on that hasn’t changed. “Anyways, we were out for a walk and stumbled across an illicit meeting of sorts, yeah? Between these three. And what appeared to be the rest of Suna’s military, un.” 

The picture being painted for him is not one Jiraiya necessarily wants to believe. Only at the same time, believing is far too easy. Not the Iwa shinobi’s intentions, but Danzō meeting with Suna to enact some diabolical plan, that is something Jiraiya can see happening. 

If only Hiruzen had done as Jiraiya suggested after the whole Root thing blew up, then this never would have been a problem.

“Jiraiya-sama.” The ANBU guard does not flinch at the looks cast on them. “Another five people are on the Academy grounds, headed in our direction. Two have jinchūriki-level chakra stores.”

Two-

Naruto, then. 

Along with Suna’s jinchūriki. 

Jiraiya stands, hand slamming on the desk before his legs have the opportunity to give out beneath him. “That’s it! I am… I am calling the Kage together. We are holding a Summit, damn it.” 

“Wait… you’re actually the Hokage, un?” Deidara asks. 

His mouth opens to fire back a retort, only for him to sigh. “Temporary Hokage. I am the… very  _ temporary _ Hokage.”


End file.
